Chapter 5

Nani Hirunkit

The moment I woke up, I knew I needed a change of scenery. I had barely slept, my mind a mess of confusing thoughts, and I couldn't stay in my room any longer. After everything that happened last night, Sky hadn't said a word when he went to bed, and now, the silence between us felt like a heavy weight on my chest.

I grabbed my phone and sent a quick text to Win, hoping he'd understand.

Nani: Hey, I need to stay over for a couple of days. I just need some space, please.

I waited for a response, the seconds stretching longer than they should have. I didn't want to admit it, but I was hoping he'd say yes. I had no idea how I was supposed to face Sky, or what I was even supposed to do with myself after last night.

It didn't take long before Win's reply came.

Win: Of course. Come over whenever you want. We're here for you.

Relief flooded through me. I didn't have to explain everything, not right away. I just needed somewhere safe to crash, somewhere I could gather my thoughts without feeling suffocated by everything that had happened.

I grabbed my things, throwing them into a bag without thinking much, and left. The drive to Dew and Win's place was a blur, my mind racing with the same questions I couldn't seem to answer. What did Sky mean by that? Was it really just a drunken mistake? Or was he trying to brush me off? The uncertainty was gnawing at me, and I didn't know how much longer I could carry it.

When I arrived, Dew was the one who answered the door, his usual grin softened by the concern in his eyes. He didn't say anything, just stepped aside to let me in.

I dropped my bag by the door, already feeling the weight of everything start to crash down on me. I didn't want to talk about it, not yet, but I could feel the tears starting to sting my eyes. It wasn't until Dew gently placed a hand on my shoulder that I broke. I had been holding it all in, and I couldn't anymore.

I crumbled, sinking into the couch as everything I had been pushing aside finally spilled out. Dew sat down beside me, his presence quiet and reassuring. I didn't want to burden him, but I needed to say it. I needed to get it out.

"I-Sky... Sky kissed me last night," I whispered, my voice shaky. "And then he said it was just a mistake. That it didn't mean anything. He was drunk, and I... I don't know what to think anymore."

Dew's expression softened, and he didn't say anything right away, just listened. But the silence felt too heavy, so I forced myself to continue.

"He... he told me it was a mistake," I repeated, my voice thick with emotion. "And I don't even know if I believe him. I don't know what it means, what it meant. I... I don't know how to feel. I thought maybe it was something more. But now I feel so lost. Like I don't even know who I am anymore."

I wiped at my face, not caring that the tears were falling freely now. I could feel the sting in my chest, the ache of confusion and hurt. Sky had always been close to me, but last night... everything had shifted. And now he was pulling away, leaving me in the dark.

I couldn't even look at Dew, afraid of what I might see in his eyes. But when I did, I saw nothing but understanding.

"I thought maybe he felt the same way," I continued, my voice barely a whisper now. "But I don't know if I'm just fooling myself. I don't even know if I'm ready for whatever this is. But I don't want to feel like this... like I'm nothing to him. Like I don't matter."

Dew gave me a moment, letting the weight of my words hang in the air. And then he sighed, his voice quiet but firm. "Nani, you're not nothing. You matter. Sky... he's going through his own shit, but you don't have to go through this alone."

I couldn't respond. I just buried my face in my hands, feeling utterly exhausted. I had no answers. I had no direction. I was just... lost.

And that was when Win appeared in the doorway, his expression soft but alert, sensing the heaviness in the air. He walked over, crouching down in front of me.

"Hey," Win said gently, reaching out to place a hand on my knee. "You're here now. You don't need to have everything figured out right away. Just take things one step at a time."

But I wasn't sure I could take another step without breaking. I looked up at him, my voice barely above a whisper. "What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if it was all just a mistake? I... I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to keep pretending either."

Win squeezed my knee reassuringly, his eyes warm with understanding. "You're not alone, Nani. We'll figure this out together. Whatever happens, we've got your back."

But as much as I appreciated his words, they didn't ease the turmoil in my chest. I wasn't sure how to move forward, or even if I should. Everything felt so uncertain. And Sky... I couldn't even bring myself to face him right now. The weight of it all was too much.

I stayed silent for a while, letting the moment linger. I wasn't sure what I wanted from them. Maybe I just needed to know that someone cared, that someone was there.

Eventually, I spoke again, voice barely audible. "I don't know what to do."

Dew placed a hand on my back, offering me silent comfort. And even though it didn't fix anything, it was enough to let me know that I wasn't as alone as I felt.

For now, I would stay here. I needed the space. I needed time to think. To figure out what I wanted. And maybe, just maybe, to find the courage to face whatever happened between me and Sky.

-----------------

I sat on the couch, my hands curled around a warm cup of tea that Win had made for me, though I had barely taken a sip. The heat from the cup felt nice, grounding in a way, but it didn't stop the dull ache in my chest. I had just spilled everything to them-every word Sky had said, the way it made me feel like I was nothing more than a drunken mistake. Saying it out loud only made it worse.

Win sat cross-legged on the floor in front of me, his expression unusually serious. "You need to act like it doesn't bother you," he said, watching me carefully. "Like you don't care."

I blinked at him, confused. "What?"

Dew, sitting beside me on the couch, leaned forward. "Win's right," he agreed, his voice calm but firm. "If you want to keep your dignity in all this, you have to act like what happened was no big deal. If Sky thinks you're fine, it'll throw him off. He'll be the one questioning things."

I shook my head, my grip tightening around the cup. "But... it does bother me," I admitted quietly. "I can't just pretend it doesn't."

Win sighed, resting his chin on his hand. "Look, we're not saying it'll be easy, but what's the alternative? You show up tomorrow looking hurt, waiting for an explanation that he probably won't even give you?" He gave me a knowing look. "Sky's a coward when it comes to emotions. If you push him now, he'll just pull away more."

Dew nodded. "But if you act indifferent, if you act like you're the one who moved on first, it'll mess with him. Make him second-guess everything."

I stared at them, the idea settling in my mind like a slow-burning fire. It made sense, in a way. If I let Sky see how much he had hurt me, it would only give him more power over me. But if I pretended like it didn't matter... if I acted like last night was nothing more than a heat-of-the-moment thing...

Maybe it would make him feel even a fraction of what I was feeling right now.

I exhaled slowly, nodding. "Alright," I murmured. "I'll do it."

Win's lips curled into a smirk, but his eyes were soft. "That's the spirit."

Dew patted my shoulder. "Just don't overthink it. Keep your head up, act normal, and if Sky tries to bring it up..." He shrugged. "Just brush it off."

I swallowed hard, trying to ignore the tightness in my throat. "Yeah," I said, though the word felt heavy. "I can do that."

But deep down, I wasn't sure if I could.