34- Homophobic (Pt. 7)

Since Lisa knew Jennie accept her as she is, and knew her true feeling, she is more bold towards the girl, she doesn't mind showing affection to her as she want to at least try to win her heart. She is determined to heal fast, following every medication rule and schedule. It's true, Jennie didn't change.. At least for now, she's still doubting at the older girl's word but when she said she accepted her, she really looks like she is.

It's another normal day for Blackpink and it's a perfect day to binge watching Netflix, Lisa intently cage herself in her room to watch movie.. Since she have no appointment with her doctor.

Knock! Knock!

Whoops.. Lisa stares at the door, it must be Jennie, she have been clinging to her more often nowadays, her heart beat fast as the door opened "Lisa.. What are y-...." she appeared in front the door and her gaze immediately shift to Lisa's laptop. "You're binge watching movies and didn't invite me?" Lisa gulps, not wanting Jennie to know what she's watching. "I-its not like that Nini.." before she can move, Jennie already seated beside her on the bed. "Are you watching porn?!" the latter narrow her eyes at the Thai girl and she immidately jaw dropped at the older girl's accusation. "What?! Oh my god.. NO!" Jennie grab the laptop from Lisa's lap and see what she's watching.

"What are you watching?" Lisa doesn't have choice but to tell Jennie. "I'm watching girl x girl movie.." Jennie hit the play button "And why didn't you just say that instead of keeping yourself in your room?" her stares fixated at the movie ".. I thought you'll be creeped out like the last time.." Jennie hums at Lisa's respond. It feels awkward for Lisa, she doesn't know what to do, she should just turn off the laptop and go to to the living room, but look at this kitten, she's now seated beside her and watching the movie, she sighs.

" Sit closer to me Jen.. " Lisa pull the older girl's hand to shift her body closer, she then grab the laptop and place it on her lap instead, admitting the defeat, she let Jennie to watch the movie together with her. Jennie is in awkward position, her body tilted to Lisa's side to reach for a sight. She pull the older girl's waist to scoot closer, their body bump slightly at Lisa's action and that made Jennie yelp a bit and rub her arm "Oh god, I'm sorry.." Lisa say sorry at her reckless action and that makes Jennie chuckles "It's okay.." her wide gummy smile plastered on her face. She volunteerly lean her body on the Thai girl, unconsciously bringing her arm to wrap on her shoulder. Lisa's heart jump at Jennie's action but in the same time she doesn't want to lose the warmth from this odd beautiful intimacy.

They silently watch the movie but Lisa focus isn't at the movie anymore, she's busy glancing at the older girl's reaction, waiting for her disgusted look and when she does, that's the cue for their movie time. "Stop glancing Lisa.." Jennie paused the movie and turn her head to Lisa, damn.. She's caught red handed. "I'm sorry.." Lisa smile sheepishly and hit the play button, Jennie curls a small smile and shakes her head at Lisa's action, not minding at all. A blush painted on the Thai girl's cheek when Jennie snake her arm around her waist, not complaining, she feel giddy at the small sweet gesture from the petite girl.

A hot scene start to flow in the movie, its an errotic scene where both of the movie's character is having sex. " Wow.. This is actually hot.. Hideko is a pro.." Jennie mumbles low, frowning slightly as she's focused at the scene. "Indeed.." Lisa nods a little with a short respond, to be honest.. This is the only scene she focused on since Jennie existed in the room. "Lisa.. Are people doing it like them in real life?" Jennie asks out of the blue. "Yes.." Lisa answers short with a sheepish smile, awkward at Jennie's uninvited question, gosh.. This girl is like.. 23 years old and still not knowing about this stuff? Way to pure Jennie Kim.. And Jennie hums in respond.

Lisa didn't expect that Jennie did actually finish the movie with her, not only she finished the movie, she also enjoyed watching it.. And the most unexpected thing is, she's watching it with emotion and no complaint at all like the old time. "Do you like the movie?" Lisa asks the brunette as she turns off her laptop, Jennie claps her hand and nods like a 5 years old who receive a present. "Glad that you enjoyed it,  I wasn't expecting you'll come with a positive feedback" Lisa chuckles a bit. "What makes you think like that?" Jennie asks😒. "W-well.. You're a 'girl x girl-phobic' "

"USED TO.." Jennie corrects her and Lisa chuckles at her remark. "And why is that term is your ex now?" Jennie fidgets her fingers. "Because, I want to change for you.. I don't want to hurt you anymore.." she genuinely say. Lisa put on a gentle smile.. Pausing awhile before putting a strand of Jennie's hair behind her ear. "You don't have to force yourself for me Nini.." Jennie shakes her head a little "I'm not.. Lili.." damn.. The endearment that slip between Jennie's lips sounds so right that it leave a great tingling feeling inside her. Jennie change so much, didn't thought that she's able to witness this side of Jennie. She's lying if she doesn't have the thought of winning Jennie's heart, but thinking that she might be rejected because Jennie is indeed straight, she restrain herself a bit despite she is now showing her bold affection to the older girl.

"Lisa.." Jennie call her name and she's snapped from her thought. Slowly shifting her head towards the girl beside her, their eyes meet. "What is it like.. To be like Hideko and Seokhee?" (the characters from  The Hand maiden's movie) "I don't know how to explain.. But.. We're just as normal as heterosexual people" Lisa flash a gentle smile, not offended by the latter's question. "Have you dated before?" Lisa shakes her head, never thought Jennie going to asks something like that. "Have you ever had sex before?" Lisa chuckles at her question, she hum before answering "Just a one night stand" Jennie widened her eyes "With who?!" Lisa scratches her nape and averts her eyes everywhere but Jennie "Tell me Manoban.." Jennie's dark tone send a creep inside her.

Her nervous system begin to function as a cold sweat flow out from her pores, damn it! I shouldn't have answered.. Lisa mentally scold herself, she hesitated to give the truth but looking at the angry kitten, she will definitely dead in a minute if she run from her question, she know Jennie too well to avoid the question, Jennie won't tolerate and she wouldn't stop till she get what she want. She take a deep breath before answering.

"It-it was.. Sunmi unnie.."  Lisa's answer send a thud in Jennie's heart, strange.. 'Wtf? How did she..' her mind is already filled with a cursing words but she nonchalantly ask another question "Who else?" Jennie really sounds so scary at this moment "Momo.." Lisa hang her head low, afraid to meet the fierce feline eyes, she can't help but being honest to her. "And?? ....." Jennie push her to the side of a cliff "Nancy.." Jennie snorts at Lisa's answers "You're unbelievable Manoban, such a player" she rolls her eyes in annoyance.

"I thought you liked me.." Jennie mumbles low.

What? Did I heard it wrong?! Lisa's heart flutter at Jennie's words. The tense before change into a beautiful feeling "My Jennie unnie is jealous?" Lisa playfully rise her eyebrows and nudges the older girl. "Yah.. I'm not saying that I'm jealous.. Silly.." Jennie scoffs.

"You didn't, but you sounds like you are.." Lisa put on a sly smrik. "Player!" Jennie says again "Miss Kim, you played me too.. Remember? You slept with that pussy a. k. a Austin Mahone" Jennie glares at the Thai girl "That doesn't count Manoban, I didn't even remember the night, maybe he was just lying." Lisa laugh looking at the fuming kitten and it makes Jennie annoyed more. "Hey.. Grumpy girl.. Look at mne.." Lisa stop laughing after realising Jennie's mood have swang. She cups both of the puffy cheeks to meet her eyes

"I won't do it again.. I promise.." She smile, diving deep into the feline eyes and  unconsciously kiss the latter's forehead deeply. Jennie would lie if it didn't leave a longing feeling after the small contact separated from her, Lisa also surprised at her own action, she mentally face palm her face. "I'm sorry.." Lisa mumble low and hang her head down, earning no answer from Jennie, she look up and  found out the kitten have already vanish.

JENNIE

Shit.. what was that? I feel my face burns in instant at Lisa's action, weird..

"What are you doing Jendeukie?" I look behind and it's Jisoo "Nothing, just want to feel the fresh air.." I look straight on the street.. Trying to hide my expression, "You mean.. You want to feel the coldness? Because its fucking freezing right now" I just realized that I'm standing in the middle of our veranda, the sensation just now made me lost in confusion. "Did something hot happened?" Jisoo forms a sly smirk. "Yah.. Kim Jisoo..." Jisoo smirks wider "Or.. Did someone happened?" she whispers, teasing me.. The scene where Lisa kiss my forehead rewind and its enough for my temperature rise again. Jisoo nudge my body playfully with the same smriks. "Stop it unnie, I'll throw you down if you keep pestering me!" Jisoo laugh at my reaction "You should look in the mirror how silly your look right now" I slap both of my cheeks lightly for few times before entering our house, I don't want Lisa to see me like this. "Shut up and let's go inside" I drag Jisoo inside just to hear her unstoppable teasing. Ugh.. I regret not throwing her out from here.

Lisa has been doing better and better, I admit that she really worked hard to heal herself and now.. She's able to walk little by little and I can't be more proud than this to her. "Nini.. Do you need anything? Me and manager oppa are going out to buy snacks" Lisa has been really eager to accompany me to my photo shoot and other schedules, she said that she doesn't want to stay at home because its lonely, i accept her offer gladly.. Who am I to refuse this beautiful soul?

"Yes pleaseee.." I says in aegyo and that makes her chuckles. "Okay.. What do you want?" "Hmmm..." I'm busy thinking about what I want when I meet her eyes, my mind freeze instantly.. Her brown orbs are watching me intently, smiling gently, waiting patiently, I'm feeling like I'm being cared so much to the point that my heart almost explode due to the unbearable feeling.

What's wrong with me these days?

"Nini.." her soft voice snaps me "Jelly and milk ice cream" I quickly answer and that makes her laugh. "Hahahha! Nini.. You were flustered.." I feel my temperature arises, my heart clenched that I can't even utter a word. Ugh.. This is so embarrassing.. "I'll make it quick dumpling.." I nod slightly with a silent.

"Hey.." Lisa lift my chin to meet her gaze, and damn I feel dizzy and lost just meeting those doe eyes. I force my eyes to look back at her "I'm going now.." she gives me a gentle smile and gives a light peck on my forehead that immediately bombing my sanity. My heart flutter so much that I feel like floating. That's it..

Fuck my heart..

Fuck this feeling..

I don't like it..

Because I'm starting to realise.. I'm different..

I'm catching feeling..

Towards a girl.

"Unnie.." I sneak in to Jisoo's room. "Hm?" she hums while her eyes fixated on her laptop probably watching movies. "Unnie..hear me out.." Jisoo pause her movie and turn her attention to me with an annoyed look. "What?" she answer with a flat tone, not really eager to hear my concern but this is between my life and future. "Unnie.. How is it like.. Falling in love with someone?" I ask her a direct question, for seconds, Jisoo contemplates my face, looking if there something wrong with me.

"Ahh.. Unnie.. Answer me.." I whined with her silence and she cracks a laugh. "Hahahha! Why are you asking me this question.. You knew how it feels Jendeuk.." She pat my head and I pouts, she doesn't take me seriously..ugh..  "Well I mean.." I fidgets my fingers, should I tell unnie? Jisoo groan as I didn't continue my sentence. I'm so nervous, I haven't open up to anybody about this matter. "Is it the same.. To a girl.. Like.. When.. A girl.. And a girl.. You know what I mean!" I just can't arrange my words correctly.

Jisoo is speechless, I look at her.. Waiting for an answer.. "No way Jennie Kim.. You like Lisa don't you?!" she shakes my shoulder abruptly, I bit my lower lip and slowly nod. "but.. I don't know! I mean I'm not sure.. If this is the feeling, because she's a girl.. I have never like a girl before" Jisoo face-palm herself.. "Okay now.. Tell me what made you think that you might have a feeling towards her?" I purse my lips before answering her.

"Well.. My heart flutter when ever she does something cute, when she take care of me, when she sweet talk me, when she kiss me, when she touch me.. I keep thinking about her and always searching for her existence even when we're in the same roof.. I feel jealous when she said that she had one night stand with other idol, and strangely I only want her to look at me.. " I say it in one-go and Jisoo froze on her place, she can't utter a word.

" Unnie.. Say something! "I cup her cheeks and that seems working, she was snap from her thought. "Sorry.. I was processing every bites of your word" she respond to me and suddenly a wide grin flash on her face. "Jennie.. I think you didn't catch feeling.. But you are falling in love!" she says excitedly and continued with a squeal. I'm dumbfounded.. Really? I'm falling in love to Lisa?

"Hey.. Jendeuk.. What's wrong?" earning no answer from me, Jisoo stops and look at me intently. "Unnie.. I.. I don't think I like the idea of me liking a girl.." I say honestly, her face immediately changed, she forms a weak smile. "I thought you're not a homophobic anymore Jen.." Her voice soften, I look down. "I know.. And I'm not anymore.. But accepting them doesn't mean I accept myself to be in that kind of situation.. I mean.. Liking girl and then being in a relationship with her.. It doesn't seems right to me.." I honestly say my feeling and Jisoo seems speechless.

" Jen.. You shouldn't.. " Jisoo was saying something when we hear a small sobs.

And fuck the timing..

Lisa is standing on the door, the door was opened slightly.. I gasped. " Li-Lisa... "I quickly run out from the room to chase her.

" Lisa.. Wait.." I tug her wrist and she face me while looking down while holding her sobs, oh god..

" Let me go Jennie.. Let me free from now on.. "