Chapter 22

DIANA

I took my time freshening up in the bathroom. I did this both to give Levi space for his phone call and to come to terms with what had happened between us in the recording room.

What had he meant when he said I was his? The statement led me to believe that the rock star and I would be exclusive with one another from now on. After letting Levi come inside of me when the condom broke, part of me realized I wanted that.

I wanted to be his, and for him to be mine.

Things were moving fast between us, and I didn’t have the experience he did. But I knew that nothing in my life compared to the way I felt with him.

All my past romances before I abandoned fame were nothing more than performances. I’d dated who the fans thought I should date, or whoever had the power to coerce me into it.

What I had with Levi felt real.

Was that because he and I weren’t in the public eye together?

When it was just the two of us, we could drop the performative masks of our personas and be our authentic selves. And I was beginning to really like Levi without the glamor of his showmanship.

Letting go of chains holding me back freed me to experience all the wonderful things he offered. The laughter, the pleasure, and something else I’d almost call friendship.

Passion and body-trembling sex became a fever dream I longed for, but my trauma held me back. The events from ten years ago led me to believe I’d never experience intimacy with anyone.

Levi made it easy for me to open myself up, and now the years of waiting seemed worth it. My first time with the rock star exceeded my expectations and wildest imagination.

He’d endeavored to make me feel special and succeeded.

Carnal excitement coiled in my core for the next time…and the time after that. How would we get any work done now that I’d had a taste of him?

I stepped under the dim neon lights of the recording studio with cock on the brain. My only concern was when and where Levi would fuck me again.

Until I noticed him sitting on the couch with his elbows braced on his knees and his head in his hands.

My heart seized, and panic threaded through my ribs.

“Levi, what’s wrong?” I rushed to his side.

As soon as I went to brush my fingers over his shoulder, his hand shot out and caught my wrist.

I sucked in a breath as he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. His cheek squished into my stomach as he hugged me with all the strength in his arms, effectively squeezing the air from my lungs.

“I’m here,” I said softly, weaving my fingers through his hair.

Something must have bothered him on the phone call, and I’d provide whatever comfort he needed until he felt like answering.

Seeing the vulnerable side of a confident, wild man like Levi Stark roused a skittering in my chest. Almost as if my heart was growing legs and racing around inside the confines of my chest.

Eventually Levi’s hands drifted to my hips, and he tipped his face back to meet my gaze. Something almost hopeful glittered in his eyes.

“Raymond called me,” he said.

I dropped my palms to his shoulders and quirked a brow at him. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Not when it makes me second guess things,” Levi sighed. “I’ve never second-guessed anything in my life.”

Doubt leashed around my neck and tugged me back, and my stomach lurched. “What are you second guessing?”

I let him come inside me. Is this about us? Did he regret what we did since we were working together?

Before my irrational thoughts spurred me into a panic, I inhaled shakily. A deep breath only eased my anxiety so much.

Levi leaned back into the couch, angling his head to the wall of guitars. He draped one arm over the cushion and ran his opposite hand through his hair, lightly tugging the ends.

Then his chest dropped with an abrupt exhale. “Raymond found someone to sing the female parts of our music.”

Our music. I enjoyed the sound of that when those words came from him.

“Isn’t that good news?” I probed, needing more information before my imagination swept me into paranoia.

“Not to me. Not when she’s not who I want,” Levi said. His penetrating gaze unsettled me almost as much as his statement.

“What do you mean?”

I was helping to write the music, but this was Levi’s album. He could have any pick of artists.

Levi rose from the couch, maintaining his grip on my hips as he towered imposingly over me. “I want you to sing the parts, Diana.”

I jerked out of his grasp before my name passed his lips. “No. I can’t do that.” My voice grated through me, and I steadily backed farther away.

Levi followed me step by step. “I know I shouldn’t ask. It’s the most selfish thing I’ve ever wanted. But goddammit, you’re brilliant and you have the voice of an angel. It’s a shame for you not to sing the music you write.”

“No,” I repeated.

That morning, Levi had held the tiny rotten thing that was my heart in his hands, and for the first time in years, I’d felt it beating again. He’d ripped it up like a flimsy sheet of music in front of my face and stomped it into the floor.

He read the stricken expression sweeping over my features, then reached for me again.

I dodged out of his way and crossed my arms over my chest as a personal shield. Moments ago, all I’d wanted was to sink into his embrace and never resurface. Now his touch seemed necrotic and monstrous.

“I can’t believe you’d ask that of me, Levi. After everything, I thought you of all people understood why I left, and why I can’t return to the public eye,” I said thinly. “I still have nightmares about paparazzi following me, harassing me, and borderline stalking me after my father’s murder.”

“Songbird—”

“Don’t you dare call me that right now,” I cut him off, my voice as sharp as a blade. My tone rose with my anger. “I gave up my entire career as a singer to escape from all that, and you’d subject me to that hell all over again?”

“I know it was selfish of me to ask. I’m sorry,” Levi said, shrinking under my glare.

“You shouldn’t have fucking asked at all!” I lost control of my voice then, shouting at the top of my lungs.

A tickling sensation on my cheek silenced me. I lifted my fingers and swiped away a tear before it fell from my face.

I stared at the drop on my fingertip, feeling another tear fall. Then another and another until they blurred my vision.

“Diana, please listen. You don’t have to agree. It was just a suggestion. A terrible one. I’m so sorry for asking.”

As genuine as Levi’s apology was, he had no clue what monster he’d triggered inside me. Now that my personal beast of burden had reawakened, I couldn’t escape. The tragic abyss cracked open beneath my feet, threatening to reach up with hooked claws and drag me back into a world of weighty darkness.

The memories of our time together became bittersweet when his request tasted like betrayal.

“Why? After what I’ve shared with you, Levi, why?” I bit back the sob rising in my voice.

Levi attempted to reach for me again but dropped his trembling fists when I recoiled from him. He swore under his breath, shaking his head at himself.

“Raymond said he got Scarlett Daze to sing the parts, but I can’t work with her again. Not when I want you,” he said, strained with remorse.

“What? But haven’t you worked with her before?” I stuttered, wiping my embarrassing tears away.

He reared back and swiped a hand over his neck. His eyes went to the floor. “Yes, but we have a history. One I’d rather not repeat.”

The implication in his tone and the way he avoided my gaze told me what I needed to know.

“You slept with her.” It wasn’t an accusation, but not a question either.

His head arched back, and his shoulders dropped with his exhale. After a brittle moment of staring at the ceiling, he finally faced me to answer. “Yeah, we did. Working together again would complicate things. Now that we’re together, I—”

“No,” I interrupted.

Levi’s eyes went round, and his lips parted with his stricken, agonized expression.

I barreled through the ache in my chest. “No, we’re not together. We might work together, and we might have fucked, but we are nothing.”

Levi shook with the strain of holding himself back when the desire to grab me was written all over him. “You said you were mine, Diana,” he rasped.

“Fuck that and fuck you!” I spat. In my blind rage, I grabbed my belongings, ignoring his darkening aura as best as I could. “Work with Scarlett again. Fuck her again. I don’t care. But don’t ask me to sing again. Ever.”

“Diana, wait!” he pleaded urgently, leaping after me.

I slammed the door on Levi’s face and prayed that he didn’t follow me out.