If You Love Me: Chapter 13

Despite the ups and downs of our exhibition games and the tension between Grace and Madden, by some miracle we manage to get our feet under us during the regular season. We’ve been on a winning streak, riding the high. But tonight that broke, and we lost. It would have been fine if I’d been in net the whole game, but Ryker played the final period and let in two goals. I’m owning it, because it’s on me to be a good mentor.

Lately I’ve felt like I’m failing at a lot of things. Maintaining my distance from Lexi has proven pretty fucking impossible, especially with her working so closely with the defensive line. All the self-control I usually possess when it comes to my career and my life seems to go out the window when she’s around. It’s no different tonight.

I should go out with Peggy and Hollis and some of the team. But I don’t want to—and not just because I’m in no mood to watch my daughter and my best friend try to keep things PG on the dance floor. I’d rather hit the treadmill and run out my frustration, especially since there’s a good chance my favorite coach will do the same.

“You sure we can’t convince you to come?” Hollis opens the door for Peggy, who’s club ready in her dress and heels.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” she asks.

“I’m going to hang back tonight.”

She frowns. “Again?”

“I’m just not feeling it, kiddo.” Not a lie. Skipping nights out has become a habit of late. I don’t need to watch over her anymore. And I want her to have fun with her friends.

“Come for one drink,” Hollis suggests.

“Nah, I’m good.” I rub my green apple on my T-shirt to shine it. “You have fun. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Peggy kisses me on the cheek, and they leave with Hemi, Dallas, Tristan, and Flip. I change into my workout gear and take the elevator to the hotel gym.

I’m not disappointed. Lexi is already there. But she’s not alone. There’s a guy chatting her up on the treadmill to her right. He’s tall and lanky. Definitely a suit, based on his haircut and outfit. Lexi doesn’t notice me at first. Neither of them do.

She’s in her usual gym uniform of running shorts and a loose tank. Although when it’s just her and me, as it often is these days, she loses the tank and runs in a sports bra. I like to think it’s for my benefit, and also to torture me.

“How long are you in the city?” the guy asks.

“I fly out in the morning,” she replies.

“How early? Maybe I can take you for breakfast?”

Lexi chuckles. “It’s an early flight.”

“You could come back to my room, and we could order room service instead.”

Half of me wants to laugh at this guy’s gall, and the other half would like to take Lexi back to my room, strip her naked and withhold orgasms until she’s begging for release for giving this guy a shred of her attention. I stride across the room and hop onto the treadmill on the other side of her. “Did you make a new friend?”

She sucks in a shocked breath. “Roman.”

The guy looks between me and Lexi, clearly trying to figure out who we are to each other.

I smile darkly at him. “You’re not her type.”

She gives me a disbelieving look that jacks me right up.

“Is this guy your boyfriend?” Business Guy asks.

I grin as Lexi stumbles over her response.

Business Guy stops his treadmill and grabs his towel with a shake of his head. “Careful with this one. She’s a game player.”

I laugh. “Don’t worry. I can handle her.” I grin at Lexi’s incredulous expression. “Isn’t that right, angel?”

Business Guy pushes through the door with a huff.

“Seriously? What the hell, Roman?”

“I’m not wrong. I can handle you.”

“That was… You’re so… That was out of line!” she snaps.

“I’m sorry, did I read that situation wrong? Did you want to go back to his room with him? Should I stop him?” I hop off the treadmill.

Lexi grabs my arm, her nails biting into my skin. “What? No! Have you lost your mind? What if he recognized you? Or me?”

I turn back to her. She’s still holding my arm. “He probably watches golf, not hockey. And yes, Lexi, I’m losing my fucking mind over here. That guy is lucky he walked out with all his damn teeth still in his head.”

Her eyes heat. “I’m capable of handling myself.”

I smirk. “Not as good as I am.”

Her mouth drops open. “Oh my God. What has gotten into you?”

“Isn’t it obvious? You are what’s gotten into me, Lexi. You think I like being like this? Always on edge. Out of fucking control?”

“What’s your plan, Roman?” She props a fist on her hip, expression defiant. “Are you going to jizz a circle around me every time someone flirts with me?”

I arch a brow.

She frowns, but her eyes flare a moment later. “I mean piss a circle.”

I give her a heated once-over. “Are you sure, Lexi?”

“You can’t—” Her fingers flutter to her throat. “We work together.”

I lean in, voice dropping to a whisper. “Doesn’t change the fact that I know what you sound like when you come.”

Her breath quickens. “You’re playing dirty.”

“And you’re not? You were chatting up some guy, even though you had to know I’d end up on the treadmill next to you just to be near you.”

She tips her chin up. “I was trying not to be rude, unlike you.”

I make a noise in the back of my throat. “I dream about you almost every fucking night, Lexi.” I let my gaze rove over her athletic curves, voice dropping at the next admission. “About the way you taste.”

She swallows thickly. “Why are you torturing me like this? It’s not fair.”

“Oh angel, don’t talk to me about fair.” I lean in closer, my voice low and full of pent-up desire. “What do you think it’s like for me, watching you own the ice every day. Having to stay quiet while you step into this role and fucking own it. Seeing all these sides of you. Knowing how different it could be when it’s just you and me and all the walls are down. Every night I fall asleep thinking about you, and every morning I fuck my hand to the image of you just so I can control myself when I’m on the ice with you.”

Her bottom lip slides through her teeth on a needy whimper.

“I can’t get you out of my head. I can’t escape you, and I can’t stay the hell away from you.” I drop my hands to my sides and clench them. “I don’t have control when it comes to you. You shred it without even trying.”

Inches separate us. She tilts her head up and settles one warm, soft palm on my chest. Her entire body relaxes, shoulders melting. “You’re the only person I’ve ever felt like this with.”

I need confirmation that I’m not alone in this. “Explain.”

“You ground me.” Her bottom lip trembles. “And it terrifies me.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to lose it again.”

“Why would you have to?” I cover her hand with mine. Even that innocent contact makes my body feel like a live wire. It would be so easy to give in.

“In what world do I get to have you and my career with no consequences?” she whispers.

We’re both so close to breaking. I lift her hand and brush my lips across her knuckles. “Go to bed, Alexandria, before I entice you into mine.”

She releases an unsteady breath and I let go of her hand.

“Now, angel. Go.”

Her eyes soften. “Yes, Roman.”

It takes every ounce of restraint I have left not to follow as she rushes out of the room.