If You Love Me: Chapter 20

Lexi gives me a look that makes me want to take her directly to bed. “How am I supposed to resist you when you say things like that, Goalie?”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” Not with the head on my shoulders anyway.

Lexi fingers the buttons on my shirt. “I know what I’m supposed to say, but I’m having a hard time finding the will to say it.”

I understand her conflict. I share it, even. But it doesn’t stop me from wanting her. “Do you need me to make it easier on you? I can go.”

She gently skims my throat with her fingertips. “I don’t want you to, though.”

“Good. Me either.” I give in and stroke her cheek.

She leans into the touch, like it’s exactly what she’s been waiting for.

“Would you like to have tonight, angel? It can just be ours.” I trace the contour of her bottom lip with my thumb. “Tell me what you want, Lexi, and I’ll give it to you.”

Her finger trails along my jaw, eyes full of conflict and longing. “I just want to be yours.”

“I’ve been waiting to have you again for years.” I brush my lips over hers. “You only had to ask.”

She loops her arms around my neck, her body soft and warm. She’s the perfect fit. The missing piece. She instantly fills the void her absence left all those years ago. I thread my fingers through her hair and deepen the kiss. When she moans into my mouth, I pull back. “Show me your bedroom so I can take care of you.”

She glances around, maybe realizing we’re standing in the middle of the hall. “Yes. Okay.”

She laces our fingers and guides me through the condo. We pass Callie’s room and continue to the end of the hall. She tugs me inside her bedroom, and I smile as I take in the space. Lexi is unyielding on the ice, a flawless example of a competent coach. Always confident and in control. But everything about this space is pretty and feminine. Ivory and pale gray with blush accents. This is where she’s soft and unguarded. And I get to have that part of her all to myself.

Lexi flips the lock, grabs my shirt, and tries to pull my mouth back to hers.

“Ah, ah, ah,” I chastise as I take her beautiful, flushed face tenderly in my hands. “It’s been torture, being close to you, but unable to touch you like this.”

“I need you.” Her shaking hands slide up my chest.

I catch them and press my lips to her knuckles before biting gently. “I have three years to make up for. You’re going to be my good girl and let me take my time with you.”

Her breath leaves her on a soft whimper. ‘However you want me, you can have me.”

“So compliant.” She melts as my lips find the inside of her wrist. “Such a tempting treat.” I kiss my way up the inside of her arm. “So many orgasms to coax out of you.”

“Please, yes. I just want to disappear with you.”

I ghost my lips along the column of her throat until I reach her ear. “But I decide when you get to have one and how many.”

I grin darkly at her soft moan.

Fighting the draw has been agonizing. But I’ve had a chance to get to know her better, to see her shine as she owned her role as coach. I appreciate even more all the sides of her now. She’s always poised and decisive on the ice and with the players, but here, in this space, she’s finally mine to covet.

I dip beneath the hem of her shirt, skimming her side. “Arms up. I want to see you.” She shivers and raises them. I pull it over her head, leaving her in a floral-print bra. Pale pink blossoms scatter across mint green satin, edged with sage green lace.

I trace the scalloped satin edge. “You still have this.”

“It reminded me of our weekend together when I opened my dresser in the morning.” She fingers the buttons on my shirt and bites her bottom lip.

“How often did you think about me?” My fingers glide along her collarbones.

“Every day.” She fiddles with the button, waiting for permission.

“It was the same for me.” I skim the length of her arm, reveling in the way it feels to finally be able to touch her again. “Would you like to take my shirt off?”

“Yes, please.” And still, she waits.

“Go ahead.”

She sighs with relief, working the buttons free with nervous efficiency. I reach behind her and flick the clasp of her bra open. It slides down her arms and catches in the crook of her elbows. She only let’s it drop to the floor once all the buttons on my shirt are unfastened. Lexi runs her hands up my chest and pushes my shirt over my shoulders, tugging it free and tossing it aside.

I don’t stop her, too enthralled with how good it feels to be with her like this again, without all the walls between us. Every touch and caress heighten our connection, easing the painful ache that’s ruled me all these months.

“So fucking beautiful.” I cup the generous swells, thumbs sweeping across her taut nipples as I capture one stiff peak between my lips.

Lexi’s hands slide into my hair on a quiet gasp, and she wraps her arm around my head, trying to keep me there. I chuckle, then bite as I carefully circle her wrists, pinning them to her sides.

She groans her displeasure when I straighten, lush bottom lip jutting out in an adorable pout.

I arch a brow. “Where’s my sweet angel?”

“I need you. I missed you.” She rubs her thighs together. “I missed this.”

“Me, too.” I curve my hand around the side of her delicate neck, her pulse pounding under my palm.

Her eyes flutter closed.

“Don’t block me out, not when we’re here and this close to finally having what we’ve been waiting for.” I brush my lips over hers and press my thumb against the soft space under her chin. “Look at me, Alexandria.”

Her lids lift with her shaky exhale.

“I feel it every time we’re in a room together,” I admit. “This unquenchable need to be near to you.”

Her eyes soften. “The past few weeks have been so hard. That kiss unlocked a door I can’t close, and I don’t want to.”

“We’ll figure out tomorrow, but for tonight, you’re mine.” I search her eyes. There’s no hesitation, no uncertainty, just the same longing and desire I feel.

“Only yours,” she agrees.

I slant my mouth over hers and pop the button on her jeans. She grips my shoulders, nails biting into the skin as I drag the zipper down. I sweep a trail along the waistband of her panties as I kiss a path down her throat, over her collarbones to her breasts, pausing to devote attention to each nipple before I drop to one knee and press my lips below her navel.

Lexi’s hands slide into my hair as I shimmy her jeans down her legs. I tap the top of her foot and she steps out of them. Next I remove her holiday-themed socks, leaving her in panties. My fingers glide up the outside of her thighs, relishing the goose bumps that rise along her skin, proof that I affect her the way she does me.

I curve my palms around her ass and nuzzle against her panty-covered sex, inhaling deeply. “Smells like mine,” I growl.

“Always yours, Roman.” Lexi’s fingers curl in my hair.

The things it does to me when she says my name like that. All my careful control finally snaps. I rise in a rush, wrap my hands around her waist, and toss her onto the mattress. She slaps a palm over her mouth to cover her shocked gasp. I move to stand at the end of the bed, drinking in the sight of her. Her gaze rakes over me, greedy and hot. She hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her panties.

“No.” I shake my head as my fingers close around one ankle. “I get to take those off.” I sink to my knees and bite just above the inside of her knee. “With my teeth.”

“Oh fuck,” she whimpers.

“Only if you’re good.” That’s a lie and we both know it. It doesn’t matter if she’s naughty. I’ll still give her whatever she wants, what we both want.

I fight to stay in control as I kiss an agonizingly slow path up the inside of her thigh. Her skin is warm under my lips, pebbling with each purposeful nip and kiss. When I reach the apex, I gently bite the satin covering her pussy, tugging before I let it snap back into place.

Her toes curl. “Roman, please.”

I splay my hand across her abdomen. “What was that?”

“Please.” She tries to roll her hips again, but I shake my head and she stills, breath leaving her in soft pants.

“Please what? What do you need?” I follow the edge of her panties along the juncture of her thigh.

“You. Your mouth on me,” she whispers.

“My mouth on you where? Be explicit.”

Her eyes light up with carnal excitement. “On my pussy. I want you to fuck me with your tongue before you stretch me with your cock.”

“That’s my good girl.” I kiss along the edge of her panties from one hip to the other. “Lift for me.”

She complies and I tug the satin down a few inches with my teeth, before kissing the same path to the opposite hip. When I expose her slit, I slide my tongue between her folds—just a tease, a taste. My perfect little doll, ready for me.

I bar an arm across her hips, pinning her to the mattress as Lexi covers her mouth with her palm to muffle her moan. I continue the torment, dragging her panties down her legs with my teeth, until I discard them on the floor.

Lexi’s eyes are full of heat and need as I pull her to the edge of the bed. “Hold yourself open for me.”

She rushes to comply, parting her legs.

I settle my hands on the backs of her thighs, pushing them wider. “Look at you, spread out like a feast.” I lean in and bite the inside of her thigh. “This pretty little pussy already weeping for me.”

I slide my hands under her and lift her to my mouth, licking up the length of her.

Her head snaps back. “Oh fuck, thank you.”

I bite the inside of her thigh. “Eyes on me,” I order.

She lifts her head and moans when I brush my lips over her clit. She tastes better than I remember and feels like everything I’ve been missing. It takes what’s left of my frayed restraint to not bury my face in her pussy and devour her. “Did you miss my mouth?” I suck on one soft, pink lip, reveling in the control she so willingly relinquishes for me.

“So much,” she breathes. And what’s left of the walls between us crumble, leaving only desire.

“This gorgeous, sweet pussy is mine.” I drag my tongue through her folds. “And I’m done pretending it hasn’t always been mine.” I latch onto her swollen clit and suck hard.

She jerks and gasps, but her eyes stay where I want them, on me. “I’m yours. All of me. Every part. Only yours.”

I relish her needy moans and soft sighs. There’s no one and nothing more beautiful than Lexi open and on display for only me, struggling to stay quiet as I push her closer to an orgasm with each purposeful stroke of tongue and nip of teeth.

“Please, Roman, please,” she whimpers every time I get her close to the edge, but keep her hovering there, the orgasm just out of reach.

I prowl up her body and cup her pussy, two fingers pressed against her entrance, but not penetrating. “I want to hear you beg.”

She bites her bottom lip as she continues to hold herself open for me. “Please, Roman.”

I tsk her, reveling in the power she lends me. “You can do better.”

“Please let me come. Please fill me. I’m so close, I need to feel you.”

I slide two fingers into her slick, wet heat, and her eyes roll up. I don’t curl them until her eyes are back on mine.

“Please, please, please,” she pleads.

I could hold her here, coiled tight, pussy clamped around my fingers teetering on the edge of an orgasm. She would be mindless with need, desperate for the release only I can give her.

I’ve been ravenous for her, desperate to have her again, waiting for her to give in and surrender control.

I curl my fingers and she moans, body trembling as the orgasm sweeps through her.

She curves a palm around the back of my neck, and I let her pull my mouth to hers, tongue sweeping inside on a needy moan.

Her other hand slides down my back, pausing when she realizes I’m still wearing my pants.

“I need you inside me.” She slides her hand into my back pocket, retrieving my wallet. “Please, Roman. I need you to fill me.”

I need the same thing; proof I’m right. That she’s meant for me, and I’m meant for her.

Her hands shake with anticipation as she finds the foil square. She groans her displeasure as I ease my fingers out, then groans as I bring them to my mouth and suck them clean.

Lexi passes me the condom and sits up. I fold back so she can unbutton my pants and push them over my hips, along with my boxers. My cock springs free, and Lexi skims the weeping tip. Her eyes lift as she leans in and rubs her cheek along the length, fingers curving around the shaft. Her lips brush the head and her tongue drags up the slit.

I press my thumb against her bottom lip to stop her from going any further, smiling at her disappointed expression. “I’ll fuck your lovely mouth later. Right now it’s time to feed this pretty little pussy my cock.”

I pass Lexi the condom and she carefully rolls it down my length.

I move between her thighs, rubbing the head over her clit. Dragging it down, my cock sliding along all that softness as I grip her hip and position myself against her opening. I pause to savor this moment. Because the moment I push inside, she’ll be mine again. Exactly as she should be.

She spreads her lips, fingers sliding on either side of my shaft. “Oh God. I forgot how big you are.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it fit.” I push in a couple of inches and her mouth falls open.

“Oh my fuck.” Lexi rubs her clit, then traces the perimeter of my cock.

I push in another inch.

She shudders and groans, her hips rolling, and head falling back as I give her more, filling her.

“Open your eyes, Lexi. I need to see you.”

She does as I order, bottom lip sliding through her teeth as I give her the final inch, then lean in, covering her body with mine, pressing my hips into hers as I cage her in place. I want to protect her, keep her safe from everything that comes after this.

‘See, angel, I told you, it’s the perfect fit.” I savor the way it feels to finally be with her again. It’s not just our bodies joining, it’s the essence of us coalescing. For the first time in years I feel whole again.

Her fingers drift over my cheek. “Like we were made for each other.”

Relief washes over me. I’m right about her, about this, about us. We finally have a reprieve from the agony of the last few months.

“That’s right.” I brush my lips over hers. “I’m going to fuck you hard and deep, Lexi, so the memory of my cock is imprinted in your pussy.”

She moans and clenches around me. “God I love your filthy mouth.”

I ease out, all the way to the ridge, already missing the feel of her surrounding me, and snap my hips forward. Lexi bites my shoulder as she winds herself around me. I hook her other leg into the crook of my elbow, opening her wider, allowing me to go deeper.

“You won’t take this away again.”

She shakes her head, eyes brimming with emotion. “No. Never. I don’t want it to end. I never want it to end.”

“Me neither.”

I grip her ass and tilt her hips up, hitting that spot inside that turns her liquid under me.

“I’m so close.”

“You don’t come until I tell you.” I need this from her, to give me the control I struggle to maintain whenever she’s close but out of reach. I snap my hips forward.

She groans as I grind against her.

“Please, Roman. I need it. I need you.” Her nails rake down my back, body trembling with the effort it takes to hold back.

I’m teetering on the edge with her. “Almost there.”

I pump into her again.

She makes a plaintive sound and murmurs please one last time.

“Let go, angel.”

My name is a guttural plea as she succumbs, pussy milking my cock, pulling me deeper, and I don’t stop, don’t give her time to recover. Instead, I keep her swirling in pleasure, wringing another orgasm from her as I follow.

A wave of calm follows, and I start to roll over, but she clings to me. “No, don’t. Stay, please.”

I pull back so I can meet her gaze. “I’m not going anywhere.”

She runs her fingers through my hair. “You’re the only person I can ever let go with. I want this feeling to last forever. I missed it so much.” She cups my face in her palms. “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too.” I stroke her cheek. “Especially these past few months, when you were right in front of me but it felt like a million miles were separating us.”

“I hated it.”

“Me, too. So let’s not do that to each other again.”

“Never again.”

I claim her mouth. We’ll have to figure out tomorrow, but for now, I am lost in how good it feels to have her in my arms again.