Chapter 15

I'm not sure my mind was capable of working through all the events and emotions thrust upon it in the last week. Sawyer's admission on Wednesday had me reeling. He wanted more than friendship, but I had to wonder if he actually felt that way or if Justin's appearance in my life was the cause. Perhaps he only thought he wanted more because it seemed like somebody else did.

According to Sawyer and his jealousy, there was someone else interested in me, but as I sat alone in the campus café on Thursday, I began to think he was wrong.

I spent my lunch break scheduling the following week in my date book. All the important events, like work and assignment due dates, were listed already, but I enjoyed organizing my days by the hour. It ensured I had enough time for studying, breaks, even cooking. I liked knowing what was ahead.

I was working on time blocking when I flicked back to check my class schedule. That's when I noticed I had 'coffee with Justin' pencilled in for today. I rolled my eyes, took an eraser, and rubbed it out. It was a silly thing to do. It's not as if these coffee meetings were agreed upon. They just happened.

Justin still hadn't spoken to me. To be fair, I didn't have the guts to message him either. So perhaps all these pent-up emotions were my own doing. Every spare moment I had in the last month went to thinking about men.

I needed a distraction.

Who better to provide one than my lovely best friend? We hadn't spent time together for a while. Work didn't count. Neither did the camping trip or nights at the Uni Bar. We were always with other people then.

Sascha and I needed a girl's day.

I managed to get hold of her that night and was pleased that she agreed. It had been so long since we'd hung out, just the two of us, so we made plans for the coming Saturday. We were working together in the morning and decided to spend the rest of the day doing things we use to love.

By the time Saturday rolled around, my thoughts of Sawyer and Justin had slowed. Only a little, but at least it was something. Thankfully, Sawyer had the day off, so I didn't need to dodge awkward questions if Sascha noticed any unusual tension.

We went for lunch, but instead of going to a restaurant like usual, we did something we hadn't done since we were in school.

"These are still the best chips in the world!" Sascha exclaimed before popping one in her mouth. She almost spat it out, her lips opening slightly to blow out the steam from the hot potato.

"And you're still the most impatient seagull in the world," I laughed. She'd done it countless times before and clearly hadn't learned her lesson.

"It's not my fault," she whined. "I can't wait. They're too good."

"At least wait until we find a spot to sit. Let them cool a little."

Her shoulders slumped. "Fine. Let's go out to the dock."

"Which one?"

"Coney Island," she confirmed and turned in the right direction.

We were at Luna Park, a frequent haunt of our early teen years. Hot chips, slushies, and gravity defying amusement rides were all things Sascha loved.

We found a spare bench by the edge of the water, overlooking the harbour in the warmth of the mid-afternoon sun. There were a lot people walking about--couples, teens, and young families--all enjoying a fun-filled day at Sydney's most famous amusement park.

"I'm so glad we did this," Sascha admitted before digging into her chips.

"We've both been busy." That was the truth. School, work, boyfriends, and not-boyfriends. They took up a lot of time. "And speaking of busy," I continued slyly. "How's Dale?"

As expected, she perked up immediately. "Hot as sin!"

"Things are going well then?"

She nodded with glistening eyes. "He's amazing. I've never known any guy like him." By that, I'm sure she meant a good guy, one who treated her the way she deserves.

"I'm so happy for you. So do you think he's it, the one?"

I wasn't sure I believed in it, but she always did. Her track record wasn't great. She'd announced several of her previous boyfriends as 'The One', but I'd never seen her like this. She was giddy at the mere mention of Dale's name. Usually, she had a string of complaints or annoyances whenever we talked boyfriends. Not this time.

Sascha looked down at her lap, smiling to herself. "I know it hasn't been that long, but I can actually see myself doing life with him, you know?" She glanced up at me. "Do you remember when we were younger, and we use to imagine what our husbands would be like? And where we would live and how many kids we would have?"

I nodded. Of course I remembered. We often gossiped about the things in life we desired, especially after watching cheesy rom-coms where there was always a happily ever after.

"I can see all of that with Dale."

"Where will you live?" I laughed.

"A swanky Bondi beach house."

"And how many kids?"

She thought about it for a moment. "Two or three. At least one boy and one girl. A third will break ties and mediate fights." Sascha had one sister, and arguments were frequent and unrelenting. That obviously influenced this part of the dream.

"What will you both do to afford this mansion?"

Sascha held one hand up and gave me a quizzical look, as if her response was obvious. "I'll have a kickass marketing job and he'll be a famous DJ of course."

"Of course!" I laughed.

Sascha's smile was so bright that I couldn't help but smile with her. It was infectious. "Now that he's in his last semester at Uni, he's starting to take the YouTube thing more seriously. He's getting lots of views and gaining so many followers."

Dale produced house music, which wasn't really my style. He was good at it though, and he was starting to put himself out there now that he was finishing his degree. The on-campus audience loved him, and I had no doubt the rest of the world would, too.

"That's cool. Maybe you'll have your beach mansion sooner than you think."

She smiled at that. "Maybe. Oh, do you know what we should do next?" she asked, her expression devious.

"What?" That look in her eyes meant I wouldn't like it.

Sascha pointed to something behind me and I turned to look at the amusement rides nearby.

"Which one?" I asked with a frown.

I didn't like either option. The Mouse Trap was a rickety old  roller coaster that felt like you'd fly right off the edge and into the harbour at one of the sharp turns. The other was the aging Ferris Wheel. Despite the circular cages with secure doors, it felt like you'd plop right into the water whenever it stopped near the top.

"Ferris Wheel," Sascha chirped. "For old time's sake. Let's go!"

She didn't give me much of a choice, grabbing our rubbish with one hand, and me with her other. Before I knew it, we'd made our way through the waterfront theme park and were waiting in line surrounded by groups of people eager for the experience. That was something I'd never understand.

"Can you believe people pay good money to dine on this thing?" I asked. It was utterly ridiculous.

"I hear it's very romantic."

"What is possibly romantic about constantly stopping and starting, spinning in a circle, and trying to keep your food on the table? Imagine if it was windy." Dreadful indeed.

"Oh, come on. Are you telling me you'd reject a guy if he asked you on a date here?"

I nodded vigorously. "Yep! He'd be done for."

"You're so full of it," she laughed.

Then it was our turn to board the death trap. We sat on either side of the circular cage, just as the operator instructed, and I gripped the seat so tight my knuckles turned white. "I can't believe you're making me do this," I grumbled as the ride started moving.

Sascha simply laughed and turned in her seat to catch the view, making our entire carriage rock. I really wished she wouldn't do that.

As luck would have it, we were the last to board, so the ride started straight away. It also meant we were the last to get off. It stopped for each carriage at the bottom, which meant ours stopped over the water several times.

And the wind blew.

The whole ordeal was torture!

"You're the meanest best friend in the world," I said as we walked out of Luna Park when the ride was over.

Sascha rolled her eyes. "You survived."

"And now my hair is a mess." I tried flattening it by running my hands through it, but the breeze just blew it out of place again. "Do you have an elastic?"

Sascha checked her wrists. "No. But I think I have a hair clip." She pulled her backpack around to her front and searched through it. "Ah huh! Hair clip." She snapped it in my face before handing it over.

"Thank you." I wrangled my hair into the claw-like clip as best I could. It was too short to tie up neatly, so it was difficult.

"You look like a moose," Sascha giggled when I was done.

I frowned. "Yes, but a very cute moose."

"Make all the boy moose go hwaaah!"

We paused for a moment and then burst out laughing. "Princess Diaries marathon tonight?" I suggested when I'd caught my breath.

"Yes!" she agreed. Then her excitement turned curious, her eyes trained on something behind me. "Justin?"

My eyes widened at his name. Was he here? How? Why? No!

Sure enough, when I slowly spun to see what Sascha already had, Justin was standing there. And he was wearing a suit. The suit was less intriguing, however, than the young girl standing beside him.

"Hello," Sascha said sweetly, realising I couldn't form words. "I'm Sascha."

The girl smiled brightly. "Hi, I'm Claire," she introduced herself confidently.

Claire. Justin's sister.

"You're Dale's girlfriend, right?" Claire asked, looking us over with curiosity. Of course she knew Dale. He was Justin's best mate.

"That's me." Sascha took my hand and pulled me forward. "And this is my friend, Ellie."

I found a smile as I tore my eyes from Justin. "H-hi, Claire."

My stuttering could only be caused by two things. The first being that Justin was watching me with an unidentifiable expression, and the other because his sister Claire was standing right in front of me.

The baby Caroline had been pregnant with when she left our family was standing right in front of me.

What was I supposed to do?

What was I supposed to say to her?

Did she know who I was?

Sascha picked up on my unease and fuelled the conversation. "You two are looking swanky. Special occasion?"

"Justin's taking me to the ballet as an early birthday present," Claire announced, bouncing with excitement. "Swan Lake."

"At the Opera House?" I asked carefully. We were on the other side of the harbour.

"We had an early dinner first."

"She got to choose the restaurant, as well," Justin added, speaking for the first time. My eyes flicked back to him, and then they were stuck again.

Sascha was on a roll this afternoon. She picked up on the tension again.

"Well, you look fabulous. Do you know what you need? A picture with the Opera House in the distance. If we stand by the fence, we could snap one at the perfect angle," she suggested.

Claire turned to Justin. "Do we have time?"

He nodded in Sascha's direction. "Go on."

When Sascha and Claire skipped off to the edge of the water, Justin moved closer.

"How old is she now," I asked, doing the quick math in my head. "Thirteen?"

Justin nodded. "In two weeks. Acts like she's on the verge of adulthood, though."

"Wow." It really had been that long.

I looked over at Claire posing in her dress. She was pretty, her hair the same dark shade as Caroline's. In fact, she had a lot of Caroline's features. If I didn't know any different, I wouldn't have pegged her and Justin as siblings. Well, half-siblings.

"Are you okay?" he asked, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I didn't need to think about what he meant. The concerned tone in his voice said it all.

"Yes, I'm fine," I admitted, pleased that I was telling the truth. While seeing Claire today reminded me of Caroline, I couldn't harbour any distain toward the sweet girl. None of what happened was her fault. "You're a good brother, taking her to the ballet."

"It was the only thing she kept asking for. She's obsessed," he chuckled, glancing over at his sister. "What are you two doing out here?"

"Just having a girl's day. Sascha made me ride the Ferris Wheel." I shuddered thinking back on it.

Justin's lips turned up at the corners. "Are you afraid of heights, Ellie-bean?" The amusement in his tone was not funny.

I crossed my arms. I knew my argument well. "That thing is ancient. One day it's going to roll right into the harbour and everyone on it is going to be trapped in those horrid cages and they will all drown!"

Justin pressed his lips together, leaning down. "Mhm, definitely afraid of heights."

"Afraid of death traps!" I countered.

"There's nothing wrong with being scared of heights," he continued, that cocky smirk of his making an appearance.

"I know that. It's not my fault you don't see dying a horrible death at the bottom of the ocean as something to be worried about."

We stood there pretending to glare at each other. I couldn't hold it for long before my smile broke through. He had this innate ability to make smile, no matter the situation.

"Are you two arguing?"

I jumped at the sound of Claire's voice and took a step back. I hadn't noticed her approaching with Sascha.

"Oh!" Claire continued as if she'd realised something. "Is this the girl you keep talking about? The pretty one in the green dress?"

Justin's eye's widened at the same time mine did. "Looks like it's time to go," he said to his little sister in a tone that clearly meant she better shut up. "Got your picture? Good. We'll be late."

Claire rolled her eyes and I had to hold my hand over my mouth to hide my growing smile. "Wimp," she mumbled confidently. Then she turned to me and Sascha. "It was really nice to meet you. Maybe I'll see you again soon."

"I hope so," Sascha grinned.

"Have a good time at the ballet," I said, hoping my voice sounded normal. "And happy birthday."

"Thanks."

Justin started to walk backwards and nodded to say goodbye. "Sass. Ellie." His eyes lingered on me a little longer, then he turned and offered his arm to Claire.

The girl you keep talking about.

What did Claire mean by that? Had Justin been talking about me? To his little sister of all people? That didn't make sense. I hadn't seen or spoken to him in a week. He clearly wasn't thinking about me, so why would he talk about me?

My mind couldn't help but wonder if he did think about me. It gave me butterflies to imagine him daydreaming about me the way I fantasised about him. But that also couldn't be right. Guys didn't do that, not in the same way.

When Justin and Claire were out of sight, Sascha spoke. "Now that you're done checking out Justin's hot ass, are you finally going to tell me what happened last weekend?"

I glanced sideways at her. She knew I'd been avoiding it and had been lenient with me. But it was time.

"Let's get a bottle of rosé on the way home," I suggested.

"That good, huh?"

I shrugged. "Let's make it a bottle of vodka."