Chapter 17

Empty shot glasses with remnants of vodka and peach schnapps covered the table and judging by the state Sascha and Emily this early in the night, it was a good thing I didn't succumb to peer pressure. They were borderline drunk, and Dale hadn't even started his set yet.

Dream of Darcy had just finished and were packing up the small stage in the back corner of Uni Bar. Well, the guys were packing up. Darcy had found her way to our table and was engaged in an animated discussion about ugly bridesmaid dresses with Sascha, who was sharing her disdain about her sister's upcoming wedding.

"I'm telling you, the only good thing about this dress is the colour!" Sascha whined.

Emily shook her head. "Bridesmaid dresses aren't supposed to be too pretty. Nothing should take the attention away from the bride."

"I disagree," Darcy said firmly, taking a sip from Emily's drink. "A bride is a bride. They have the attention regardless. The whole day is about them, right? I think you must be very insecure if you're worried about someone looking prettier than you. Plus, you have those photos and memories for the rest of your life!"

Sascha jumped back in. "I don't think she's insecure, I think she just has bad taste."

"Oh, come on," I added, "Your dress isn't that ugly." She was exaggerating.

"That's because you know you'd look good in it."

I rolled my eyes.

"You look good in everything," Sascha continued before turning back to Darcy and Emily. "Did you see the gorgeous dress she wore the other week, to that award night thing? She was..." Sascha finished her sentence with a chef's kiss.

"No!" they said in unison.

Emily placed her drink on the table, a little too enthusiastically, and turned on me. "Have you got a picture?"

"Actually, not really," I admitted after thinking about it for a second. I was a little too preoccupied that night to think about taking pictures.

Sascha, unfortunately, had no filter when she was drinking. "What about that selfie with Sawyer?"

"Sawyer?" asked Darcy loudly. "Who's Sawyer?"

I shrugged, acutely aware that Justin was in the room. I glanced toward the stage. He was busy doing something with his drums, and even though I knew he wasn't paying attention to us, and he definitely couldn't hear our conversation, it felt weird talking about Sawyer while he was here. I briefly flashed back to the awards night, the night I wore the dress in question, and remembered their argument. They really didn't like each other.

When I turned back to the girls, they were waiting eagerly. "He's just the manager at work," I told them innocently.

Sascha almost spat out her drink, but thankfully Darcy and Emily didn't notice her reaction. It wasn't a lie, exactly. Sawyer was a manager. I just didn't see the necessity in telling the whole story.

"What colour was your dress?" Emily prodded. "Pictures please!"

Reluctantly, I pulled out my phone and searched through the gallery. Sawyer had taken the picture outside the Entertainment Centre before the night, and all the drama, began. It only showed the top half of the dress, but you could see the waistline enough to get a good idea of the fit.

"Wow!" Emily exclaimed, holding my phone close to her face.

"The dress or the guy?" Darcy added, approval in her tone as she took the phone from her friend. Sawyer had his arm around my waist and we both smiled at the camera. I couldn't disagree with Darcy. He did look good.

Sascha was desperately trying to hold in a laugh, and I shot her a look of disapproval. This was neither the time nor the place to bring up Sawyer drama.

"It's a beautiful dress," I said, hoping to keep the attention away from Sawyer.

Emily nodded. "Your boobs look great. I love the material."

I reached for my phone, hoping to move things along. Sascha, finally able to control herself, jumped back into the conversation. "See! If this was the dress I had to wear, I'd have no complaints. I just look so flat chested in my one."

"Have you tried it on with chicken fillets or a strapless push up?" Darcy asked.

"No, do you think that will work?"

Darcy shrugged. "Try it. All cleavage is good cleavage."

"What's this about cleavage?" a new voice asked.

I turned to see Benji and Isaac approach the table. They'd been here a while but didn't come to say hello, instead choosing to sit at the back of the crowd to watch the show. Now, they brought gifts in the form of shots and chasers.

Emily responded to Benji with tight lips and attitude. "It's nothing you'll get to concern yourself with."

That made him smile. "The night is young, Gorgeous."

"Oh yeah?" she challenged in a sarcastic tone. "What's your game tonight?"

Benji winked at her before nodding at Sascha. "Sassy." Then he turned to me. "Sassy's friend. Can I offer you a wet pussy?"

He placed a shot in front of me as an invitation. I gave him a sweet smile in return. "I think we've been here before."

His grin widened. "I'm keen to change the outcome if you are."

I sighed and pushed the tiny glass back toward him. "Thanks, but I'm staying dry tonight."

He kept his confidence when he replied. "That's a shame." He then downed the shot, keeping eye contact with me.

I broke it and looked anywhere else, eager to avoid any attention from him. That's when I noticed Isaac and Darcy making out. Emily, who was still sitting next to me followed my gaze. She pressed her lips together and rolled her eyes.

Yes, this was far more interesting than engaging with Benji. It wasn't the first time I noticed the tension between Emily and Isaac, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know what was going on.

Unfortunately, without asking directly, I didn't think I would ever find out. While Emily and I were friendly towards each other, we weren't at that stage.

The entire table fell into awkward silence. Sascha left, most likely to find Dale. It only got worse when Justin approached. He confidently inserted himself at the round table between me and Emily but paused when he picked up on the tension.

"Having fun?" he asked, unsure of what he'd walked into. His eyes panned across everyone before resting on me.

His question didn't seem important, not when heat filled my chest and scrambled every coherent thought I had. He was standing so close that our arms pressed against each other. I didn't move back, but I did have to wonder why he squeezed in where he did. There was plenty of space on the other side of the table. There was even an empty stool. But he chose to stand on my side of the table, the one up against the wall where there was very little space to move.

Emily responded, seeming grateful for the distraction. "We were just talking about how hot Ellie looked in this stunning green dress."

Justin smirked, glancing back down at me "Ah, I know the one."

I blushed as he subtly looked me up and down, his body turning toward me.

"That was a nice dress," he admitted with a tone of approval. His words brought back a memory from that night. He'd paid me a compliment and it had sent thrills through me, just as his gaze did now.

"That's right," Darcy said. "You went to that hotel award thingy too." I hadn't noticed her resurface, but she now stood wrapped in Isaac's arms, attention back on the group. She also seemed a little suspicious as she looked between me and Justin, hopefully not making any connections that weren't there. Emily wasn't afraid to think with her expression and seemed pleased with this information. Benji turned away to look at the stage.

Thankfully, Dale's voice filled the room just then, and I was glad he put an end to the discussion.

As Dale spoke and everyone listened, Justin's hand found its way to my hip. I was wearing a crop top and skirt set, and the feel of his warm hand against my exposed skin sent another thrill through me. Not to mention his chest pressed against my back as he attempted to shuffle between my stool and the wall.

It took a lot of self-restraint not to lean back into him.

He leant down over my shoulder, hand still gentle on my waist. "Are you drinking tonight?" he asked in low tone.

I glanced up at him and swallowed in the hope of regaining my words. He was closer than I thought, and he didn't pull back, not even when the tip of my nose grazed his cheek. To anyone else, we'd look very intimate, like we were about to kiss. The thought did cross my mind. No one was paying attention to us, and it would be so easy.

But I didn't. I couldn't do that.

"Not tonight," I managed to say quietly. It was a miracle any sound came out at all.

"Okay." Justin gave me a small smile and lingered for a moment before gently squeezing my hip as he moved passed.

I watched his back as he walked away, trying to steady my heart and my breathing. We'd barely touched since that night, but I never forgot the intensity I felt when we danced. I also couldn't help wonder if he replayed it in his mind the way I did. Over and over again.

I'd been acutely aware of his body every time we'd met since that night, conscious of the impending awkwardness if we got too close again. I thought he was on the same page; he'd steered clear of physical contact as much as I did. But maybe I was wrong to be so worried about that. Justin didn't hesitate at all tonight. In fact, he was undeniably confident.

I was stuck in my head, thinking about the what ifs of this scenario, so much so, that I'd missed the beginning of Dale's set and had ignored everyone around me. I only resurfaced when Justin reappeared by my side.

He placed a green bottle and glass of ice with a lime wedge in front of me. Sparkling water. It was my go-to when I wasn't drinking alcohol.

I smiled at the nice gesture.

Justin pulled up a stool beside me. I hadn't noticed Emily moved to the other side of the table to sit with Sascha, who had returned.

I sat awkwardly, suddenly unsure of what I should be doing with my hands. And how was I supposed to place my legs on this stool? There was definitely something wrong with me. I was usually... normal whenever we hung out.

Justin didn't seem to have the same overthinking problem. He picked up the conversation as if it was the easiest thing in the world.

"How did your meeting go yesterday?"

It took a moment to remember what he was talking about. "Yeah, good actually," I nodded, thinking back on the meeting with my course coordinator for my social studies units. "There's a few things I can do if I want some more experience now."

"Can you bring forward your placement to the summer?"

I shook my head. "Unfortunately, no. Apparently there's an assignment to do alongside the placement, so the unit needs to be running for it to count. I'll have to wait for next semester."

Justin took a sip of his beer before responding. "That sucks."

"A little, but I can still do some volunteer work. The coordinator gave me a list of youth programs always looking for volunteers, especially during school holidays."

"That's great!"

It was great, but the way his leg brushed against mine under the table was even better. "I have to do some more research on them, but I'm already leaning toward one in Western Sydney. The academic and social programs for the kids look amazing."

"Do you have to do anything before you can volunteer?"

"Yeah, I'll need to get a Working With Children Check done, but that shouldn't take too long. Hopefully they really are after some more volunteers and take me on."

Justin's shoulders turned toward me, and it somehow pushed his leg more firmly against mine. "I'm sure they will, especially someone as passionate as you."

His eyes were particularly blue tonight. How could they sparkle in such low lighting? And why was he looking at me like that?

The strange desire to kiss him came back. I don't think he'd reject me, but it really wasn't a smart thing to do.

"Come and dance with me, pretty please?" Emily interrupted with a desperate tone, thankfully taking away my choice. "I can't go out there alone with them."

By them, she meant Isaac, Darcy and Benji, who were already sauntering towards the front of the dancefloor.

"Why not?" I asked, hoping she'd give me a real clue.

She pressed her lips together and raised her brows. "Do you really need me to point it out?"

"Yes." Yes, I really wanted to know what was going on there.

Emily crossed her arms. "Benji's trolling and it's gross."

That wasn't the answer I hoped for, but it made sense. "If I go out there, he'll come after me," I whined.

Emily turned on Justin, who was in the middle of sipping his beer. "Not if Sexy Drummer Man here comes with."

Sexy Drummer Man placed his glass on the table and raised his hands, showing us his palms. "Hey now, what if he starts dancing with me?"

I smiled widely, remembering something he once said to me. "If I recall correctly, you don't hate that kind of thing," I teased.

He faked a frown. "History doesn't lie," he admitted with a shrug.

"Great!" Emily said, taking hold of my hand. She pulled me around the table to grab Sascha's as well. "Let's go!"

That's how we all ended up dancing in a small circle as Dale played his tracks. It's also when my conflicted feelings really flared up. While Justin dancing with us worked to keep Benji at bay, it really sent my mind and body into overdrive.

The music was loud at the front of the dancefloor, and the low lighting made everyone look surreal. Or maybe it just seemed that way because I was trying to focus on everyone but Justin. I felt awkward dancing near him, like I wasn't sure what to do with my body. This had never really been a problem before, but every time our eyes met across the small circle, I sort of faltered in my step. I felt rigid.

Emily, subtle as she was, didn't think that was good enough. She twirled in front of me, took hold of my hands, and we danced a little. Then she spun me around and winked before letting me go. Suddenly, she was in my spot, and I was dancing right in front of Justin.

I knew exactly what she was doing, and I let her.

His confidence was mesmerising, and once again, I was very aware of his proximity, especially as we seemed to move closer and closer with every step. My whole body felt warm, and it had nothing to do with the amount of people dancing around us.

It was all Justin.

The intensity in his eyes.

How a single touch, as his hands found my waist and brushed against my bare skin, electrified that warmth.

Everyone else disappeared.

When we'd danced before, it was overwhelming. But this... this was all-consuming. We swayed together with the music. I had no idea what song was playing, but the beat was perfect.

Justin pulled me in closer and I leant back into his chest, relishing the way his confident hands ran smoothly up my side and across my navel. Everywhere we touched, I tingled.

It was getting hard to breathe, and when he reached up to push my hair away from my neck, and his fingers moved gently across my skin, I thought I might lose it altogether. But that was nothing compared to when his face came down next to mine and I felt his breath brush against my ear.

Just a small turn. That's all it would take, and it would be so easy.

We must have been in sync because the tingles from my waist followed his hand to my jaw, where he gently turned my chin towards him.

Looking into those blue eyes, I wondered if he was as affected as I was.

A few centimetres. That's all there was between us. One small movement away.

What would it be like to kiss him?

I never got the chance to find out.

I jerked out of our trance when ice-cold liquid hit my skin. I spun out of Justin's arms to see where it came from. A girl stood beside us at the edge of the dancefloor with her hand over her mouth as she shook her head. Behind her, a few girls, clearly her friends, were trying to hold in laughs.

I couldn't hear what she said over the loud music, but it seemed like an apology, so I shook my head and gave her a small smile to let her know I was fine.

But I wasn't fine. My chest moved up and down quickly as it tried to steady my breathing. And my heart and head were both racing in overdrive.

Turning back to face Justin, I noticed his forearm was also dripping with alcohol. I looked down at my white skirt. Red liquid was soaking through to my skin, and the iciness made me shiver.

Justin leant down to speak in my ear.

"Are you okay?" he asked. He was sort of yelling, but I could barely hear him.

I nodded, knowing no sound would come out of my mouth, even if I tried. I made a weird gesture to my skirt, shrugged, and pointed in the direction of the bathroom. He seemed to understand and gave me a nod.

I could feel his eyes watching me as I walked away. That did nothing to curb the nerves.

When I made it to the bathroom, I found that my hands were slightly shaking. I turned on the faucet, wanting to splash some water on my arms, which were feeling a little sensitive. Every droplet felt like it was setting my skin alight.

The door opened and Emily walked in. "You okay?" she asked, coming to stand by me at the counter.

Was I okay? No! I was freaking out!

I'd almost kissed Justin. How could I let myself get into that situation? It was wrong in so many ways.

I cleared my throat, hoping words would come out. "Y-yeah," I stuttered, gesturing to my sopping skirt. "Someone just spilled their drink on me."

"I saw." She made a face, one that seemed to imply it wasn't an accident.

I shook my head. "I'm sure she was just clumsy."

Now Emily smiled. "Mmm. It couldn't have anything to do with you and Justin getting all hot and heavy on the dance floor. Bitches play hard."

That was ridiculous and made no logical sense. She was drunk. She didn't know what she was saying.

I humoured her. "It was probably good I got covered in cranberry juice then."

"Why?" Emily challenged, pulling herself up onto the counter. She almost stumbled and fell off. Unfazed, she continued, "It's obvious you like him. The chemistry between you two was fogging up my contacts."

"It's a bad idea," I continued, shaking my head. A very, very bad idea. Why was she so interested in what happened between me and Justin? "I'm not sure we're compatible."

"There's only one way to find out," she shrugged. Then her perkiness seemed to fade. She looked down to her lap where she was playing with her manicure. "Believe me, you want to take your chance while you can."

"Are you okay?" I asked, suddenly realising that maybe she didn't come in here to check on me. She seemed sad.

Emily gave a rigid smile. "I'm just having a shitty night."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Maybe she needed to. I suddenly felt guilty. I'd been obsessing all night and ignoring everyone around me. That was selfish. But I also had to wonder if she was upset about Justin, not that that made sense. She was the one who'd pushed me towards him.

She shook her head, jumped down from the counter, and perked up again. "No, it's okay. I just need another drink. You coming?"

I nodded as she pushed the bathroom door open. "I'll be out in a minute." I needed to get my thoughts in order and calm down first.

Emily smiled faintly and walked out.

Out to where Justin was no doubt waiting for me.

Oh Ellie! Little Miss Conflicted. Things are starting to happen, and I'm here for it. I hope you are too.

I know it's been a minute since my last upload, but here we are. It's still going. I am determined to finish this book!

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think!

Kate