Chapter Sixteen

"It's hard to wake up from a nightmare when you're not even asleep."

CLAYTON

"Hey, man, are you alright? You've been distracted a lot today."

Mateo had to touch my knee with his baseball bat for me fall out of my trance. It seemed like the longer I went without contacting Lucy, the more I daydreamed. It had only been three days though. I shouldn't have been so affected by her absence. Especially since I was the one causing her absence.

I played it cool with a shrug. "No, I'm fine. But hey, make sure to place more weight on your back foot before swinging on a curveball."

I don't know why I was doing that to myself. Lucy had done nothing wrong for me to ignore her messages and snapchats. In fact, she had done everything right. But maybe that was the problem. The last time I had ever felt so close to a girl was with Grete back when I lived in Norway. She was my best friend and I had to say goodbye to her when I decided to move here. Maybe I was saving myself from the heartbreak waiting to happen with Lucy.

"That's bull shit and you know it, but okay." Mateo simply shook his head towards me.

It had been dark out for hours, but that didn't stop us from training. It was verging on two in the morning but I had immersed myself in coaching in attempt to take my mind off things. However by the speed of Mateo's swing, I could tell he was finished for the evening. I had him finish out the last ten balls with the pitching machine then clean up.

I handed him his water bottle. "Good job tonight. You've made real progress and it's only almost been two weeks. That's awesome."

The smile on Mateo's face was a sleepy one, but still very happy. "Let's just hope after a month I can start to make Coach have that surprised look on his face after I bat."

The vibration of my phone in my pocket made me peer away from him. "We can only hope so." I said quickly before seeing the phone I.D.

It was mor. Why was she calling so late at night? She said I could spend the night at Mateo's and she normally didn't poke around when I was with friends.

"Ja, mamma? (yes, mom?)" I placed the phone to my ear quickly. Mateo and I passed serious glances.

All I could hear was the background conversation of other people with my mom chiming in. Then finally she paid me attention. "Yes, baby, sorry. Your father and I are with the Walkers at Bridgton Hospital." She spoke quickly. Just as quickly was she quiet. "Lucy is okay, so don't worry--"

"What happened?" I placed the phone on speaker so Mateo was not so left out. He was equally as worried as me even though she was more so my friend. I guess he cared because I cared so much about her.

"An hour or so ago she had fallen in her room. She was sleepwalking again. But it's okay, everything is minor. She only has a cut on the side of her forehead from hitting the corner of her desk and a mild concussion." She was attempting to ease my reaction to Lucy being hospitalized, but it definitely wasn't changing anything.

I was completely frantic after that. Mateo understood completely that I had to go and said I could spend the night any other time.

"Lucy needs you," he assured me. So he helped me to put the pitching machine and balls away even faster. What usually took around ten minutes ended up being cut down to two.

Mor made it crystal clear Lucy was fine. I even went as far as calling Mr. Walker to make sure I had nothing to worry about. Yet still there I was, honking my horn like a madman, trying to get around a slow driver on a fifty-mile per-hour side street. It was supposed to be a short cut, not the long way to the hospital.

Eventually I made it there, even though it felt like hours. The E.R. section was a little ways from where I had parked, so I jogged around cars until the stench of chemicals stung my nostrils.

My eyes made eye contact with one of the receptionist nurses and I wondered if she could read my mind about Lucy. If she could feel everything I was suddenly feeling and want to help me change things by allowing me to see her.

Before I had a chance to approach the nurse, a familiar voice called me over to a sitting room.

"Clayton, you really didn't have to come this late." Mr. Walker repeated himself. He had said the same thing when we had spoken on the phone. "Your parents just left, actually."

I was unphased. I just wanted to see her. "Can I talk to Lucy?" I just wanted to apologize for ignoring her. "I'd really appreciate it." I just wanted to assure her that if that gash were to scar, she'd still be beautiful to me. I just wanted to do so much in so little of time.

Mr. Walker had a look of disapproval, but eventually he nodded his head. I sighed in relief. I don't know what I would have done if he wouldn't let me. "She's been asking about you, actually."

My lips managed to curl up the slightest bit at that. It was rewarding to know I was someone she asked about in a time of need.

"If anyone asks, you're her cousin." Mr. Walker winked towards me as he guided me. I chuckled. "Don't stay too long though, son. You should head home to sleep soon."

"Yes sir." I made sure to shake his hand. "I'll find you whenever we're done talking."

And with that, Mr. Walker left me alone in front of Lucy's room. Well, it wasn't much of a room. It was her own little space divided by curtains. I guessed the actual hospital rooms were for more serious issues.

I wasn't sure if I should just swing the curtain open or knock on the nearby wall like there was a door. Either one could have a painfully awkward scenario happen afterward. So, bracing myself for the worst, I slowly moved one of the curtains open. I hesitated, waiting for a objection, but instead I got a soft whisper of my name.

"Clayton?"

"Is it okay for me to come in?" I asked, smiling softly at how she said my name.

There was a dragged pause, then, finally, I received a quiet, "yes."

I don't know what I was expecting when I imagined Lucy lying in a hospital bed. What I do know is that I never would have guessed she would have been sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce style with a pudding cup in her hand, T.V. remote in the other. Other than the bandage across the side of her face, she looked perfectly normal.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner," I said. My shoes squeaked as I awkwardly attempted to situate myself. Was I too close to the bed? Should I take a few steps back? "I'm really glad you're okay though."

Lucy shook her head at the first part. "No, it's fine. Really. I didn't even expect you to come actually."

She was speaking slower than usual. I figured that had to do something with the mild concussion.

"Why not?" I wasn't sure why I had asked that. Maybe I had hoped there was a chance it wasn't because I ignored her.

Lucy's face said it all. Her eyes moved away from me, down to her pudding cup. Her lower lip slightly stuck out in a way I adored, yet I never wanted to see it that way again.

"I thought I scared you away or something." She answered me honestly. Her eyes, so doe like, found their way back to mine briefly.

I tried to hold back a grunt, but I failed. "You scaring me away? You have to be kidding me." I chuckled half-heartedly. "You could never scare me away, that's for sure." My voice got quiet at the end. "But let's not talk about me, okay? How are you love?" My feet got ahead of me and before I knew it, I was right by her bed. She had just finished the pudding and thrown it away, and the sudden urge to hold her hand took control of me. So, I grabbed her hand. "Are you okay?"

Her hand was so small in mine. She, too, seemed focus on our hands before sputtering out a reply. "I had a headache an hour ago but they gave me medicine for that. I'm all good now. Just ready to go home and sleep."

I knew she needed her sleep, but it was such a danger to her. I had this sense of protectiveness washing over me at the thought of her having another fall. The next time that happened, it could have been worse than that first time.

"Did you maybe want to have like. . . a sleepover? At my house." I was getting carried away maybe, but it made me feel better after offering. "The couch in my room pulls out into a second bed, so we wouldn't be sharing my bed."

Lucy looked surprised by my offer. Confused, even. However the red in her face was hard to miss. "I don't know if that's a good idea, Clayton." She was quick to add, "my parents would never let that happen."

I knew she was right. Hell, my parents wouldn't let me have a girl sleepover - yet alone in my room with me. I didn't know what was wrong with me that night. I kept getting ahead of myself and not thinking things through.

It's just every time I had looked or thought about Lucy, I wanted to act. Whether it be by holding her hand or making sure she's safe at night myself, I wanted to do something. I started to bite on my lip, thinking into things deeper.

There was an obvious answer as to why I was feeling like I did. And as much as I tried pushing away the answer, I knew I couldn't anymore. Looking at Lucy stare back at me with such innocence, I was so consumed by an emotion I hadn't felt in a long time.

I definitely liked Lucy Walker - more than I probably should.

Taking in a breath, I allowed myself to accept it.

"Did you maybe want to sit and watch this episode of Criminal Minds with me?" she asked out of the blue, the silence I caused must have had made her uncomfortable.

I nodded immediately. My eyes felt heavy, but it didn't hurt to stay with her until she got released.

Especially if that meant I could continue holding her hand.