Chapter 117

Twelve: Joselin Joselin's P.O.V.

I was a woman on a mission. Nothing would stop me, and if anyone tried, there would be hell topay.

The cold metal tray in my hands was dirty but empty as I carried it down the hallway. I wouldn't letanyone, not Killian or Tobias, bring me down again. Yet, my eyes seemed to move on their ownacross each face I passed, looking for Tobias and failing to find him.

The guards dipped their heads to me as I strode past them, my heels clicking against the floor as Iapproached the king's office door. There was no knocking, no warning of my entrance as I shovedthe door open.

Killian growled at the rude and unwelcome interruption but didn't bother getting up. Natalie wassitting on his lap and greeted me with a smile. I couldn't return it.

'Joselin,” Killian greeted, and I stopped before his desk, ignoring the man sitting in the visitor's chairto my left. There was a moment of silence as I stared down at my best friend and his mate beforetossing the dirty tray onto the wooden surface between us. A few crumbs bounced out, and I feltsatisfied when his anger melted away and was replaced with realization. "Shit, Josie. We were...""This better be good." I snapped, and Natalie looked between us, confused. “After all the shit I havedone for the two of you and have put up with because of you, I would love to hear this."

"Hm," The man hummed, and I looked down at the blonde as he eyed me with appreciation. "Youlook even more beautiful this morning. How is that possible?"

I blinked down at him, feeling my anger melting away a small fraction before I forced my eyes awayfrom Holden. His green eyes were a shade lighter than Natalie's, and I had to scold myself when Iimmediately found myself comparing them to the brown of Tobias's.

"You two have met?" Natalie asked, but a suspicious undertone refueled my anger toward them.'Yes, we met last night when you and your mate stood me up." Natalie flinched but looked surprisedas I turned my glare from her to Killian. "So, let's have it. What was your excuse this time?"

"There were a few personal matters to attend to," Killian said, his voice short and clipped. It wasNatalie's cheeks growing pink that gave him away.

"One hour. That was all I asked of you.” My voice dropped, but my anger was still there, bubblingbeneath the surface. "We have been best friends for fifteen years. I pushed it aside when your mateaccused me of sleeping with you. I've accepted that you no longer wish to be alone with me formore than a few minutes at a time, and even then, you keep the door open to stop Natalie fromgetting upset or worried about our friendship.”

"Hold on now. I didn't know about any of this." Natalie argued, and while she looked angry, I waspleasantly surprised that she kept her magic under control. She was improving. No matter howangry I was and how certain I was sure she would make my job obsolete soon, I was still proud ofher.

"Which makes it even worse because once again, he didn't want to be alone with me, said he wouldbring you, and then didn't even tell you about it. That tells me that he never intended to show up atall.” I wished I had a beast like them at that moment. At least then, I could have growled at Killian ashe lifted his hand to silence me like I was one of his annoying underlings, complaining about someirrelevant bullshit.

"I know you are upset and have the right to be. I got distracted and didn't mean to stand you up.”We stood staring at each other, waiting for the other to break. I had the feeling he was waiting for me to accept that as his apology while I waswaiting for an actual one and maybe hoping he had the desire to reschedule to be there for me.But he had told me time and time again. He was a king. He apologized to no one.

It was so rare that he ever said he was sorry to me, and even with our friendship crumbling, hewouldn't do it. "You really don't see it still, do you?"

Killian opened his mouth to speak, but I saw him thinking over my question.

“Killian, 1 asked you as my friend to be there for me when I needed you. I asked for one hour of yourtime, and that was too much for you. You are a good person and a great king, but you don'tunderstand the difference between making something a priority and making it your only priority.Charlie was begging you for years for you to be there for her..." I watched his shoulders hunch downslightly, and Natalie got off his lap, keeping her hand on his shoulder.

"That's not fair, Joselin." She scolded, and I tried to push aside my annoyance, knowing she was onlydefending her mate and wasn't intentionally trying to be rude. "He has a million things he has tosplit his time between.”

Killian looked at a loss for words. I knew if I could read his mind, I would hear the same thing healways bitched to me about when it came to his sister Charlie. He was always so frustrated that sheconstantly demanded more from him and for him to “be better’ when he felt he was already tryinghis hardest. He told me how frustrating it was when he had nothing more to give, yet here I wasdoing the same thing.

Even I had to admit that he had been getting better since finding Natalie, but he still had a lot ofgrowing to do, just as I did. We all did. No one was perfect, and I kept trying to remind myself ofthat as I forced my disappointment down.

I waited another moment for him to say something, but he seemed to be at a genuine loss forwords for once in his life.

"Yeah, I know that. But before he found you, I spent the last fifteen years supporting him througheverything with his parents and his coronation. I buried myself in his work to help keep the weighton his shoulders from crushing him. I have put up with a lot of shit, and I get our relationship won'tever be the same now that he has you as his person instead of me.” I turned to look at Killian,seeing the pain on his face but not sparing him any more of my pity or concern.

"I had just hoped that our relationship would have been one of the things he felt was importantenough to put some of his time into, even if it meant both of you hanging out for one hour andeating a fucking brownie with me. It really didn't seem like it was too much to ask for, but maybe Iwas wrong. ll I needed a break, but I couldn't afford one. How could I take time off when there was a potentialthreat in the castle? It would have been easier if it was just a threat to me, but not knowing whatthey were planning made it so that, once again, I had to put others before myself.

"I'm taking the day off," I said, realizing I wouldn't get anywhere with Killian, not today or in front ofa stranger. Holden may have been Natalie's biological brother, but Killian had enough pride not togive up his cold king act in front of someone he barely knew.

"Wait, I wanted to talk to you." Holden grabbed hold of my arm as I started to teleport. Even if thedarkness had begun to scare me, where I wanted to go was too far away to travel by foot or car inone day.

I looked at him with wide eyes as we entered the darkness. It wasn't the first time someone grabbedme while I was traveling to the other side, and I was sure it wouldn't be the last. "Why does everyone keep grabbing me?"

Holden looked panicked as he glanced into the emptiness, his fingers loosening on my arm.

"No!" I shouted as the connection between us started to break. "Don't let go!"

My hand shot out, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling him to me until our bodies touched.His free hand immediately found my hip, holding my body against his as the cold air of the oceanblew across my skin.

"That was new," He murmured, but I couldn't let go. It didn't matter who he was or his relation toNatalie.

It had been so long since anyone had held me. The closest I had gotten to physical comfort in yearshad been Killian, throwing his arm over my shoulders a couple of weeks ago like he used to dowhen we were teenagers. Every other touch had been sparring or meaningless sex that did nothingto make me feel better.

I didn't need to say anything. Holden seemed to understand, and his arms wrapped around metightly.

Several minutes passed as I listened to the waves crashing and the subtle enchanting song from therocks below. They would soon give up when they realized it was no use.

I pulled back, nodding as I whispered a “thank you.’

"Is it safe to let go now?" His hands moved to my biceps as he looked down at me, and I pushedaside my humiliation from letting my emotions get the best of me in front of him. Still, I had hit mybreaking point, and I needed it.

I nodded, pulling away and turning toward the ocean. It was a sharp drop down, nearly 100 feet tothe water from where we stood. The airy song from below faded off as they recognized my magic.They knew there would be no snack here for them today.

"I am impressed. Most people throw up their first time." My heels dug into the ground, and I kickedthem off, letting my toes sink into the soft grass.

"It wasn't my first time. Aurora brought me here that way when I met her a couple of days ago, buthow she did it was different. It was bright and easy. When you teleported, it was dark and didn't feelright.” I heard him approaching me as his voice grew louder.

I looked over my shoulder at him, my arms moving up to wrap around my torso to protect myselffrom the chilled breeze. That was interesting news, and it made me eager to talk to Aurora, Natalie'smother when I got back home. But I was in no rush to leave just yet.

'Is this your place?" Holden asked, walking closer to the edge. I watched as he looked around withfascination. "Where you go when you want to be free?”

Free... such an interesting choice of words.

Considering that I had nothing forcing me to stay in the castle, I had a lot that I wanted to stay for.No matter how hard it all was, that was a part of being a family.

“I am free. I had been locked away for a long time before finding my home there. This is just where Igo when I need air." My eyes closed, and my head tilted back as I listened to the sound of the ocean and enjoyed the smell of the salt water.When I opened them again, Holden had moved closer to the edge. He was looking down into therocks and water below, and I knew they were calling to him.

"I wouldn't get that close if I were you,” I warned, stepping up next to him as I looked down to seethe naked woman sunbathing on the rocks. Her long blonde hair was fanned out around her, and Isaw her seductive smile grow more prominent when she saw me. Holden looked taken by the siren,and I placed my hand on his forearm, snapping him back to the present as he lifted his foot to joinher other victims at the bottom of the ocean.

He growled in agitation, taking several steps back but pulling me with him, shielding me behind himfrom the creature below.

"She's as much fun as she looks. It's when she tries to eat you after that kills the mood.”