i don't want to die

Shock, horror, regret

I know that i'm next

Head, spinning, screaming

I thought I had time

But I don't, maybe I never did

Now she's looking at me

With wide eyes and unsaid pain

And I hate myself

For letting her know the bitter taste of sorrow

But I also know

Pain and devastation are her shoes and crown

And maybe, she'll do what I never got the chance to do

She'll be the one to save us

Just that us doesn't include me anymore

Now she's begging me

Begging me to run away

"Save yourself," she says

But saving me, would mean killing her

So I don't

I don't save myself

But I leave my heart behind

To guide them

Use it wisely, to save yourselves

But even when I left

She clutched at the last of my ashes

"Please, you can still run away"

I won't

I can't

Because

I love you

She's naive, immature

Crazy, reckless, unreasonable

But honest

And that's why I love her

And that's why I'll have to leave you now

Even though I don't want to die

I want to see the world with you

I want to watch sunrises with you

But at the same time

I want you to live

Author's Note

This one is inspired by The Promised Neverland, when Norman was decided to be the next shipment and he didn't wanna escape and he actually let himself be killed:"