Chapter One Hundred Thirty Seven

When the next day came my mood was terrible. For one I had a hangover and two I knew Ba Wei would have to leave. I thought after sleeping on the subject it would make that feeling of being left go away but it didn't. If anything the sleep only made it worse.

When we left Jun Li's house he wasn't even there. In fact the house was dead silent. It didn't seem to bother Ba Wei too much but it bothered me. Does the guy usually just leave him here like this after they hang out? If so that's messed up. If I'm being honest Jun Li gave off a bad vibe. Not one that was hooked to his character but one that was more hooked to his aura. He truly gave off a gang member vibe. He showed a soul ugly no interest in Cheng De last night and believe me the guy was a bit of a attention seeker. He tried and was not only declined that attention but made him leave the room.

"What are you thinking about," Ba Wei asked pulling me out my thoughts?

"Nothing much. Just Jun Li."

"Huh, why?"

I glanced over at him as he asked that I couldn't help but smirk. His skin looked almost fresh under the morning sun as we walked, and even though he was furrowing his eyebrows he still looked breathtaking.

"How are you so handsome?"

He seemed caught off guard by the question so much that he stopped walking. I just stared at him with a straight face and he just smiled.

"You're really going to make me cause a scene," he said as he began to walk again.

"What do you mean? I just asked a basic question.

"No, you asked a question that you knew would get a reaction out of me."

"No. I'm genuinely curious how you're so handsome even under the morning sun."

He laughed, "I could say the same too you. You really don't know how you look do you." I shook my head and he got closer to me until we were walking shoulder to shoulder. "I don't usually say corny shit like this but here it goes. You're very handsome. Not even just right now; it's where ever you go."

"Stop," My face started to heat up, "you're praising my looks too much."

"Am I? I thought you knew you were good looking."

I scratched the back of my neck, "I do, but hearing you say it..."

He made an oh motion with his lips and turned his head back forward. We walked in silence for a good minute before I looked over at him. I didn't say anything but I did let my eyes roam his figure and as I came to his hand I couldn't help but stare. I wanted to hold it, but would he want to in the open like this? Only one way to find out.

I took a deep breath grabbed his hand. He didn't even look at me and just grasp my hand. I felt a little exposed like this but I wanted to show him that I didn't want to hide this from anyone. In truth if everyone could know that he was my boyfriend I would be satisfied. What am I even thinking.

"Hey," I called tugging on his arm, "when are you going to be able to come back?"

He squeezed my hand, "it'll probably be after midterms. So Tuesday."

"That's a full three days with you not being supervised."

He laughed, "what does that mean?"

"You're obviously not going to study if I don't force you."

"I will. I promise I will."

"As much as I'd like to believe you," I looked over at him, "I don't. He dropped my hand and pushed me slightly.

"Thanks for having faith in me."

"Sorry," I said laughing.

He didn't say anything and just laughed. Seeing him smile made something in me flutter. It made me happy to know that I was the cause of that happiness on his face. Looking around every now and then I found people were staring. Little do they know he's mine. All mine.

We talked about nothing the entire rest of the way to my apartment. I can't say that I was happy about it because I knew that he would turn back at the door. As we approached my building I noticed a familiar black car and mentally sighed. We couldn't even have a few more minutes together. He just had to be waiting outside.

"I see Kang Wu is already waiting for you?"

Ba Wei nodded, "yeah. He said he would be, but that doesn't mean I'm leaving right away."

I looked over at him to see a small smirk on his face. I let my eyes scan the rest of his face and I was stunned by how his bangs blew in the wind, how the sun bounced off his skin, and how he licked his lips every now and then. I want to kiss him. That's the only thing that was going through my mind.

I tried my hardest to push the thoughts to the back of my head but as we began to climb the stairs the urge seemed to strengthen. My heart began to speed up as we came to the third floor and my door came into view.

"Do you really have to go," I asked lowly?

I wasn't acting how I usually am, but I really couldn't help it. I didn't want to go back to how my life was before he came into it. Sure I spent nights alone but this would be three days and it's been a while since I was alone that long. Ba Wei let out a sigh and grabbed a hold of my hand. He squeezed it before bringing it up to his mouth and kissing it.

"Don't make a face like that. The days will fly by."

He dropped my hand and I dug around my pockets and pulled out my key. I was about to open the door when it opened. I came face to face with none other than my father. He was a bit bruised but still looked like his usual self. How annoying. I sighed and turned towards Ba Wei.

"You're going to have to make it up to me."

He just nodded and I was about to leave when he leaned forward and kissed me. I didn't even hesitate and kissed him back, I wanted it to last longer but Ba Wei pulled away. I gave him a smile, and looked back at my father. He seemed shocked and I wanted to laugh.

"Call me okay," I said turning back to Ba Wei.

He nodded and walked away. I turned around and as I did my father moved to let me in. I slipped out of my shoes and as soon as the door clicked I knew it was about to start.

"How long has that been going on?"

I sighed and just stayed quiet. I knew the man a bit too well. I knew how his brain worked and I knew he would have an issue. Not only did he just witness his only son kiss another man but that said man didn't even acknowledge his presence. How funny.

"I don't know," I answered as I walked into the kitchen.

"Don't give me a half ass answer."

"What are you doing out of the hospital," I asked changing the subject?

"That doesn't matter right now. You just kissed a-"

"I think it does matter," I said cutting him off. "You were pretty banged up."

Although I wasn't looking at him I could tell he was looking at me. I opened the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. As I turned around I was surprised to see my father walking towards me.

"Do you think it is acceptable?"

I watched as he leaned against the island, "what do you mean?"

"You think whatever you have going on with that boy is acceptable?"

I shrugged, "I don't care. I like him so I'm pursuing him."

"You cannot pursue someone of the same sex."

"Says who exactly?"

"Me."

I couldn't hold back the laughter when what he said hit my ears. Does he really think he can control who I like? Sure he took care of me but damn he's my parent isn't it the least he could do.

"Well I disagree," I said as I walked around him.

"It's not something you can disagree with. You will end that so called rel-"

"Do I get involved with the people who keep you company?"

"What?"

"I believe you heard me, but I'll repeat it. Do I get involved with the people who keep you company?"

I flopped down on the couch and waited for him to answer. He stayed quiet for a minute before he started to speak.

"Why can't you be a regular child? First you get into legal trouble and then this? Are you just wanting attention?"

His voice was cold and I couldn't help but smirk. What a subject to talk about. Even now when I like someone he can't support me. Sure he could be old fashioned but I thought he wouldn't care. He probably only cares because if it got out that his son was interested in the same sex it would ruin his reputation.

"I'm sure that's what you think, but do you ever think about why I got into that legal trouble? Why I fell into the wrong crowd. Why I drowned all my emotions in alcohol?"

"Are you going to make more excuses? If so I-"

"Yeah you don't want to hear it," I said as I got up. "You know when you and mom split it was tough for me and you weren't there just like you have never been since then."

"Ji Nan I have to-"

"Work," I asked fluffing my hair? "Yeah you told that to a twelve year old who thought that everything was their fault too." I walked toward my room.

"Ji Nan..."

I turned around at the door of my room, "you ever think the reason I did all those things were to get you to notice that I was there?" I stared into his eyes and as usual they were cold. Fucking annoying. "No? Of course you didn't because I'm just a product of a relationship that ended badly."

"That's not true and you know it. I work hard so you can live comfortably. So that you don't have to have any struggles." His voice was slowly starting to rise, "I have did nothing but try to make your life as comfortable as I can."

I couldn't help, but chuckle. Damn does he want me to say thank you for leaving me to my own devices. I wish I could think about being alone all of my teen years as comfortable. As I looked at him I couldn't even understand why he thought of it that way. Why he thought that leaving alone in a house was the best way for him to raise me.

"I didn't want to have a comfortable life alone. I wanted a father," I said lowly.

"Ji-"

"Why are you here," I asked cutting him off?

He cleared his throat, "I was came here to tell you I have to fly back to the company. There's a issue on the board. "

"Ah. You could've just left like you usually do."

"Ji Nan, all I have done In my life is try to make your life easier by giving you the best things so you can make lots of friends."

I gave a light chuckle, "We both see what friends I attracted because of the lifestyle you gave me." I turned and walked into my room and began to strip. "Have a nice flight I guess," I yelled.

I walked into the bathroom and switched on the lights. In truth even saying those things to my father made me uncomfortable. Like I had thought he would have the same reaction. My feelings are never a discussion for the man. To him he's simply doing whats best for me. I wish I got the memo to enjoy the life I was given. I ran a hand through my hair and closed my eyes. I could feel the tears about to come, and I didn't want them to fall.

It's funny that he came here to tell me that he's leaving just to find out about Ba Wei. Instead of asking if I was happy he asked why. Why I liked another man rather why I liked him in general. Maybe because he made me feel something other than emptiness. I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes. It's fine. Everything's fine. I pushed whatever thought to the back of mind and walked over and turned on the shower. I pulled my phone out my pocket and sat it on the counter.

I slid off my pants and underwear and was about to get in the shower when my phone buzzed. I walked over and picked it up to see a message from Ba Wei.

Ba Wei: I miss you

I couldn't help but smile. It had been about twenty to thirty minutes since he had left and he already was missing me. How cute. I quickly sent a text back saying I miss him too and not even a second passed before I got another.

Ba Wei: did your father have an issue with what I did before I left.

As I read that message I could basically feel the frown on my face. I didn't want to talk about the man and frankly I didn't want to answer. I wanted him to be focused on me so I slid over to the camera and  thought about rant to send. I was never a nude type of person so that was off the table but maybe just a full chest picture. I posed and clicked the photo and was very satisfied how it came out. It even have my v-line slightly in it. That's perfect. Without another thought I pressed send and sent a message along with it.

Me: you should focus on your boyfriend right now.