Chapter One Hundred Eighty Seven

When school ended my mood had soured, and it had everything to do with the conversation me and Ba Wei had on lunch. If you can even call it that. It was more of an argument. After I told him he didn't really talk much, he would just answer when I spoke to him. He's definitely pissed at me. I sighed and got up from my desk. I was putting my books away when my phone started to ring. I pulled it out only to see an unknown number.

I answered it, "hello."

"It's Kang Wu. Im parked in front of the school gates when you get ready."

"Okay. Is Ba Wei already there?"

"No, he said he has something to take care of."

"Oh...okay. I'll be there soon."

I hung up the phone and immediately called Ba Wei. It rung and rung, but he never answered. I sighed and mentally cursed myself and finished packing up my things. I quickly made my way out the school and sure enough Kang Wu was parked directly in front of the school. As I approached the car I could feel eyes on me. I looked around a little and sure enough almost everyone was looking at me. I knew that guy would spread it but not this fast. Today's been the worse.

I sped up my walking and quickly climbed in the car. I could feel Kang Wus eyes on me.

"Hey Ji Nan. Where to?"

"Ba Wei didn't tell you," I asked confused.

He cocked a eyebrow, "no. He said you requested me to take you somewhere. He didn't talk after that."

I sighed, "ah okay. Well I need you to take me to my old apartment."

"Huh? Why? Ba Wei got all your things. I was with him. All that's left is the furniture."

"It's for a different reason. Just take me there okay."

He stared at me through the rear view mirror for a second before he pulled off. The car ride was silent, neither me nor him said anything. It's not like I cared at all. I was more concerned on why Ba Wei wasn't answering my phone calls. Sure we had a fight but he's never not picked up. Maybe he's just busy. Kang Wu did say that he said he had something to do. I let out a sigh and looked out the window just as Kang Wu pulled up to my old apartment building.

"Thanks. I know you didn't have to if you didn't want to."

He didn't say anything and I climbed out the car. As soon as I closed the door he pulled off. I stood outside for a few seconds before I finally convinced myself to go inside. As I climbed the stairs I felt weird. It hasn't been that long since I lived in this place yet it seemed so foreign.

"This place seems unfamiliar now," I said aloud.

I took a deep breath and quickly climbed the stairs and soon I came face to face with that all too familiar door. I reached into my pockets and grabbed the key and went to open the door but it slid open when I was about to put it in the lock. It was weird but I pushed it open and walked inside. The light was on and as I walked forward a bit more I saw her.

She was sitting on the couch legs crossed looking at her phone. Her dark hair hung to her shoulders curled. She was dressed in a black dress with matching black heels. She looked just how I remember she did.

"Are you going to just stare at me Ji Nan," she said turning her attention from her phone to me.

"Sorry," I said as I walked over and sat down in front of her. "I'm just surprised you actually came."

"I said I would didn't I. I'm not your father."

I didn't know what to say to that because it was oddly specific to say that. When they were together I don't think my father had ever canceled anything on her, but then again I was about twelve.

"So, what did you want to discuss exactly."

"Well for starters, how have you been?"

"I'm surprised you have the decency to ask. I've been wonderful actually."

"That's good to hear. It's been a while since we've seen each other face to face."

"Yeah I haven't seen you since that day. Remember it like yesterday. It's a shame I thought you'd grow up and look a little like me."

"I might not look like you but father tells me I act just like you."

"That sounds like something Mingchun would say. He's always hated how I acted."

I smiled a bit, "he still loved that about you though mom."

I watched as her demeanor changed almost instantly. I cocked an eyebrow but said nothing.I guess talking about my father is still a sore spot. Although she's the one that cheated on him.

"Listen, Ji Nan, I know you didn't call me to this empty apartment just because you wanted to see me. We both know after all I've done you wouldn't be this friendly."

I let out a sigh. She was right but it doesn't change the fact that we could pretend. She could pretend like she wanted to know what I was up to, or how I was. I guess not. I stared at her for a few seconds before I just came out and said it.

"why did you try to kill my father?"

"Straight to the point huh." I didn't say anything and she ran a hand through her hair. "Listen you wouldn't understand what your father put me through all those years, and even now."

"Then try."

"Well Ji Nan, it was just karma."

"What do you mean?"

"Well your dear old dad isn't so great. Throughout our whole marriage he controlled everything about me. From my clothes to how I spoke. When I would disobey he would freeze all my cards, would feed me scraps. My life was a living hell while I did my best to raise you free from that side of him."

She shifted her eyes to the ground and sighed heavily. It looked as if she was recalling something, but didn't know how to put it into words.

"When he kicked me out that night," she said slowly, "he found out I was sleeping with Wan Li. It's the first time I saw that man hurt. He said he was done with me but he has done nothing but make me miserable. He took everything from me, my life, my friends, even the man I loved after him."

"What do you mean? Wan Li called me not too long ago."

"Well, of course he did. We were still in contact then. The truth is your father paid him to leave me, and funnily enough he took the money." She started to laugh, "he says he wants nothing to do with me but why meddle with my affairs. My family won't even speak to me. I'm all alone Ji Nan."

I understood where she was coming from hearing all the things my father was doing but at the same time it was no excuse. Sure he was making her life a living hell but she seemed to not understand that she hurt him. She wants to kill him for ruining her life when she did that herself.

"Is that the reason you want to kill him," I asked coldly?

"Yes. He doesn't have long to live anyway. Might as well do it my way. That was my thought before your little lap dog got involved."

"What about me?"

She seemed confused, "what about you?"

"You want to kill my father, what about me? What about how I would feel?"

"Why would that concern me? I'd thought you'd be happy to see that bastard dead."

"Do you have to be so vile?"

"Oh, you sound just like your father? How am I vile?"

"Everything you just said is vile. Sure dad has did terrible things to you, but don't act like you haven't done anything. Dad fell apart when he divorced you. He threw himself into work, was barely home. He was controlling I know that much from experience, but don't act as if you did nothing wrong." I could feel my eyes starting to sting. I took a deep breath, "you're the reason your family doesn't speak to you, you're the reason why your life is how it is mom."

She let out a bitter laugh, "you still have the nerve to call me that? You chose his side before and you're doing it now. Why would I want a son like you? A murderer?"

Shivers went down my spine as I heard that. I hung my head low and fought the urge to cry but failed. Tears started to drip from my eyes. I looked up at her to see that she was smiling.

With a shaky breath I said, "I didn't ask to be born."

She stood from where she was seated and began to leave stopping beside where I was sitting.

"If I had to choice again, I would've never had you. I would say take care of yourself but I don't care enough. This will be the last time you see me Ji Nan. Don't contact me anymore. The mother you want so bad is vile. isn't she?"

With that she left and I was left there in the silent apartment that I used yo call home. Tears flowed down my face as I sat there silently. This hurts more than anything my father has ever done to me. Sure I was a disappointment to him but at least he still loved me. All I wanted was for her to understand that she hurt me, she hurt us. Everything is falling apart.