𝟶𝟺𝟹: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛 (💝)

"I'm really glad you were able to clear your schedule to spend time with me today. I'm going to be honest, you seem to be pretty busy nowadays." I say, laying my head on Toya's shoulder.

The whole day, we had just been sitting at the park or any rest areas and going to stores while everyone around us exchanged gifts and all of that. But as for us...

I had no idea what to give him. I just asked him out, so randomly too. Something felt off, though, because time had practically flown by.

"You seem to have more time on your hands than usual. You're taking care of yourself, aren't you?" He scoffs.

"Yeah, I am. Anyway, Toya.. can I ask you something? I don't mean to be awkward but, I'm just curious."

"Yeah?"

"Were you.. happy with me? I know you're probably not even considering splitting, but.. I want to make sure you're as happy as you make me."

"Of course I am." He answers almost immediately, leaving an awkward silence after that.

"Why?"

"No reason.. it's just that I feel as if I wasn't doing enough. For you.. or for us. I feel like something happened and I could have done something to keep it from happening.. but it feels like I didn't." I embarrassingly admit. To think I would be insecure like this... How could I show weakness to the weakness?

"Oh, Akito. You're overwhelming yourself again. You're doing more than enough. Maybe even pushing yourself past your limits."

"You think so?"

"Yeah."

This isn't right. How could I forget this?

"Hey, Toya?"

"What?"

"Why are you here?"

Just then, his face becomes distorted-- but it's never been his face.

"Why haven't you given up on me?" He asks, but he no longer has a voice and there's a giant censoring over his face.

"Maybe it was sort of your fault. Not in the bad way, you were just a motive. You ruined me. Honestly, I wish I had never met you."

Everything starts ringing, and I sit up, gasping for air.

Fuck! Was that a nightmare..? Crap, I have cold sweat. What time is it..? I pick up my phone, and furrow my eyebrows.

I need to go wash my face and calm myself down. It's just a little before my alarm goes off.. I really don't want to go to school. But I've already missed so many days being depressed already.

.. Crap, it's valentine's day.

°•°•°

The day went by so slowly. Ms. Hatsune is really getting on my case now... She's not happy with me, especially after last year when I barely paid attention. I hope she's not my teacher for my last year..!

I have a seat by the window, though. She might move me for 'daydreaming' again. It's always so fun seeing Nene dying and almost passing out when she's in P.E.

I've been trying my best to get my thoughts straight, but the overwhelming burden and thoughts become too much for me to handle. Would it have been like this if I was able to talk to him clearly? If I disrespected his wishes and just argued with him?

I know it was a dream, but it felt so real. Like, what if those were his true feelings? Should I have just not showed up that day?

"Earth to Akito!" An smacks the back of my head.

"You're not going to be on earth anymore!" I shout, springing up from my seat and jumping across my desk to attack her.

"How come there are no teachers in this classroom whenever you two are fighting?" Nene sighs, entering the room while we're on the floor. I sit up, acting like nothing happened because it's kind of embarrassing fighting like kids when there's someone watching.

"Get back down here!" She puts her arm around my neck, pulling me back down.

Nene sighs, placing two bags on my desk.

"Happy Valentine's day," She mumbles so quietly that I barely manage to hear it over An's horrid screeching. But she soonly stops and escapes from me, running up to Nene and jumping on her.

"Nene~! You're so adorable!! Thank you! Hold on, I got you a basket, too! I need to go get it!" She squeals, hugging her tightly before running outside and coming back in with a huge bag. What the hell?

"One for you!" She hands her one, and throws one at my head.

"And you, I guess."

Bitch-! I rub my head, groaning. When did she get that strong..? That's definitely because she purposefully throws a ball at the window. At least they don't let her get away with it.. that's what she gets for doing that as a hall monitor.

"Heya, guys! Sorry we're late!" Mizuki hums, barging in as Airi follows.

"Happy valentine's day!" They both say, handing the three of us different gifts. Airi gives us different colored bouquets, and Mizuki gives cards that are.. extremely decorated. There's bows everywhere.

"I didn't think you were a cornball." I scoff, and Airi punches me softly. It's pretty though, I wonder if she got help with it.

"Don't make me take it back."

"Wait, do you guys want to hang out after school today? Like all of us Kamiyama students getting along!" An comes up with the idea. It's definitely an excuse not to be alone today.

"But I had a date planned with Ena--" Mizuki says, but is silenced by An harshly grabbing her shoulders.

"You're coming." She says as she gives them the darkest stare.

"Yes ma'am."

°•°•°

In the end, the only people who arrived were An, Mizuki, Ena, Nene and I.

"How could she bail out on us like that?! Who does she think she is?!!" An begins to shout. Ena and Mizuki try to get her to calm down due to how many people walking by are giving us nasty stares. I could just walk away right now...

"Where's Emu?" I ask Nene, who sighs. She doesn't look happy to be here...

"She's not even in japan. She didn't go into it, but her brothers invited her to go somewhere with them overseas. He's visiting someone he knows. It's fine though, her classes won't be as busy." She stares at the ground, seemingly down. Near Valentine's day..? I mean, at least I'm not the only one whose date left me.

"Try not to make us feel like extra wheels, okay?" An frowns, walking ahead of us. Now I know something's definitely up... Probably something to do with Kohane.

After walking around for a minute or two, I go beside An, looking down at her. It's weird she's not walking in front of us, plus she's way too quiet to be her normal self.

"Kohane's not gone.. Why are you by yourself?" I put my hands in my pockets, watching as her expression twitches.

"We're taking another break. She's with Shiho and Minori." She grins widely, like she's about to snap. She seemed to be on the edge lately. I should ask if anything went wrong.

"What did you do this time?"

"It wasn't even me, you piece of shit! Listen to this. Two days before Valentine's day, she tells me she doesn't know how she feels about us being together anymore. And I pulled up with a huge ass bouquet of flowers and a cute basket! Okay to be fair, Airi actually said in advance she couldn't make it, so I just gave it to her to give it to Kohane."

That's too much to process.

So what she's saying is that Kohane thinks she's getting her feelings mixed up with romantic and platonic..? That's fair, but how often do they argue for it to end up like this..? How do you change your mind like that after being in an almost two year long relationship?

Why is everyone splitting up or on the brink of it now? It's legit valentine's day, doesn't that seem a bit weird? I mean, he did leave in october, but you know what I mean. Ena doesn't know how lucky she is.

"I don't know, I just feel like I failed somehow. Obviously she hasn't broken up with me yet, but- it hurts to even think about that possibility." Her voice trails off as her eyes begin to water. Damn.

"Oh.. sorry about that," I put my arm around her shoulder, bringing her close for a hug. It's so awkward when it's me, but that's fine.

These insensitive fuckers walk straight past, though. We like this for a while, and she pushes me away, taking a deep breath.

"It's fine, though. It's her decision. Come on, let's go get something to eat!" She grins, running off and jumping on Mizuki's back.

I'm gonna ask her if she's diagnosed with anything.

"Do you have any ideas?" Mizuki asks, taking her off. Ena gasps, pulling out her phone and scrolling through her instagram.

"Hold on, I saw this really cute place with animal themed deserts!"

"I want to go home..." Nene says, and I nod.

We enter the restaurant, sitting in a booth and basically let An order everything after making our decisions. This place's sweets are insanely good, so if she orders too much, I'm here. I look across, seeing Mizuki and Ena babying Nene.

It's barely been an hour and they already adopted her..? She seems fine with it. I'm really surprised on how An got the shut-in to come out to spend time socializing. She'd kill me if she found out about what I'm thinking.

"Thanks for the hug earlier. I needed that. Oh, look at that parfait! Miss!!" She calls the waiter back, waving her hand. She's gonna get us kicked out.

"Who's paying for all of this..?"

She continues to scream, purposefully ignoring me. Dude...

This valentine's day wasn't that bad. Ena keeps glaring at me although it's not even my fault she's here. I'll go to the convenience store real quick to get her something.

I miss him, though. It doesn't feel as lonely as it did before, probably because I have these idiots by my side. Everyone at school is definitely trying to assassinate me, someone threw a whole pencil that almost hit my eye..! And the worst part is, it made a small hole through the wall.

I'm glad I was able to be loved by someone like that, even if it didn't last as long as I thought it would.  Maybe it just wasn't the right time. I want to try again, but that could only happen if he feels the same way. He always reminded me of winter, and now that it's almost gone, I don't know what I have now.

Is he missing me, too? I hope he is.

I should be fine. My mind isn't going all over the place like it used to.. I'm dwelling so much on this now that there's couples left and right today. It's probably because I've finally learned to let him go..?

I think.

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝟺𝟹, '𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙾𝚗𝚕𝚢 𝙿𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝙰𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛 (💝)': 𝚎𝚗𝚍.

°•°•°

creator's note: Im gonna fix the title later. also sorry for the WEEK DELAY some things came up :3 they were NOT fun. I just got out of a situationship. WAHHAJUVDTYFS I NEED A BREAKKKK. TOYA POV NEXT CHAPTER!!! YAYYY!!!