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Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Eyes Like a Wolf

The moment I got home (via taxi—I couldn’t face Richard or the simpering Ursula again), I stepped in the door, slammed it, and locked it behind me. Then I went from room to room, methodically locking the windows and the doors, making sure not the slightest crack remained to let in the green-eyed demon I had seen in the tiny park not an hour before. Then I went around a second time, double-checking, and then a third, obsessively inspecting to make sure I hadn’t missed anything. Making sure that everything was locked down and secure.

Certain at last that I was safe, I went into the bedroom and began to strip off the grass-stained pale green silk gown. The Jimmy Choos were long gone, lost somewhere on the streets of South Tampa. I was out of my strapless bra and about to take off the green silk panties that matched my dress when a deep, horribly familiar voice behind me said,

“Hello, Rachel.”

I turned, clutching my arms to my breasts, my heart hammering against my ribs. Sprawled casually on his side across the bed was Richard. He was still wearing the pants from the charcoal suit he’d had on earlier, but they were rumpled and blood-stained. He grinned, showing teeth that had gone back to normal, but his eyes still blazed unnaturally bright, reminding me of what he had become. Of what he still was. A monster. A stranger.

“Richard!” I backed away from him, feeling the icy fist of fear clutch at my throat. “What…what do you want?” I asked in a voice that shook more than I wanted it to.

“The same thing I’ve always wanted.” He rose from the bed and came towards me. “You.”

I backed up until I felt my dresser hit the back of my thighs. ~Trapped!~ I felt my pulse skittering in my throat like a small frightened animal. Would he kill me the same way he’d killed Rat Face in the park? Or would he make it slow and painful?

Richard frowned at me as I backed away. He took another step towards me, a look of concern on his dark face.

“Stop!” I held out a hand that trembled so much I had to put it down. “Stay…stay away from me,” I said, forcing the words out past numb lips. Charles… Genevieve… everyone who had warned me about him had been right, but I had been too bullheaded to see it. Now I would die for my stubbornness, I was sure.

“Rache?” Richard looked at me as though I was crazy. “What’s wrong with you? It’s only me—Richard.”

“Only you. Only ~you?~” I laughed, a high hysterical sound that frightened me. I had to get hold of myself! I took a deep breath. “Which Richard are you talking about?” I asked, in a calmer tone. “The loving older brother who tracked me down to be with me after all these years? Or the…the animal I just saw rip a man’s throat to bloody rags in the park tonight? Which is it, Richard? Which one?”

His darkly handsome face took on a haggard look. “Both,” he said heavily. “They’re both me, Rachel. But I killed that man to save you. Surely you can understand that. Look.” He stripped off his jacket and shirt rapidly, revealing powerful shoulders and the muscular planes of his chest. On his right side, just below the flat copper disk of his nipple, was a bloody, puckered hole. A bullet hole, I realized. So the gunshot hadn’t missed him after all. And yet, he didn’t seem to be in distress from the wound. Didn’t seem to have a collapsed lung or internal bleeding. Then again, what did I know about internal bleeding? I was a lawyer, not an MD.

“You have to understand,” he said again.

“All I understand is that I saw you turn into…into some kind of monster,” I said. As I spoke, anger overcame my fear and I stood up straighter, my voice gaining strength. “And that man wouldn’t have been trying to kill me in the first place if you hadn’t killed that pimp—Chulo Martinez—and pissed off Momo the shark Andretti. They were trying to make an example of me tonight—all because of you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that, about them coming after you anymore. I took care of it. Please, Rachel…” He put out a hand to me, as though to touch my bare shoulder. I pulled away from him.

“Don’t touch me,” I said sharply. “And don’t lie to me anymore either. You keep asking me to understand. What do I have to understand, Richard? That you came to town, murdered a pimp, and lied to me about it? That you got ~me~ to lie too? I told Genevieve Marks that there was no way you could’ve killed Chulo. I got her to release you into my custody. I convinced her to release a monster.”

“I’m not a monster,” he said, but there was doubt in his voice. Doubt and self-loathing. “At least, I don’t have to be anymore. Not if you’ll help me.”

“What do you want me to do?” I spat. “Lie for you some more?”

“No.” He took another step forward, trapping me between the dresser and his big body. I could feel his heat like fire radiating against my skin, could smell his spicy, masculine fragrance as I did every time I was with him. The scent of the Amon-kai. “No, Rachel,” he said. “Just touch me. Be with me. Love me and let me love you. That’s all I ask—all I’ve ever wanted.”

I looked at him and couldn’t hide the loathing and fear in my eyes. “Are you crazy? Richard, have you been paying any attention to who I am and what I do the last couple of weeks? I’m a prosecutor—I put people like you away.”

“People like me don’t exist outside of fairy tales and nightmares,” he said, leaning down to look into my eyes. “Except for you, Rachel. We’re the only two—the only two that I know of, anyway. Please, can’t you see I need you by my side?”

“I can see you need serious help,” I said. “Now get away from me.”

“No.” He leaned against the dresser, putting his hands on either side of me to block my escape. “This is what I wanted to avoid. This is what I’ve been hiding from you, Rachel. My other nature—the dark face of the brethren of the Amon-kai. And had I been successful in seducing you, you never would have had to see it at all.”

“What the hell does it matter if I let you fuck me or not?” I shouted in his face. “It wouldn’t change the fact that you killed a man and lied about it. It wouldn’t change the fact that you’re a monster.”

“I’ve killed many, many men, dear little sister,” he said, his voice a soft, menacing growl. “And with every one I wanted you more. With every one I redoubled my efforts to find you. Because I knew that only by binding you to me could I ever have a hope of stopping the bloody urge that lives beneath my skin.”

The pale green glow was back in his eyes, making them shine like demonic lamps. I felt like a cold hand had reached inside my chest and squeezed my heart. He was telling me that Chulo and Rat Face weren’t the only two people he’d killed. He was telling me that he was a murderer many times over. Possibly a serial killer. Dear God. And I had invited him into my house and let him sleep in my bed. Hell, I’d kissed him and let him touch me in ways no other man had ever touched me. I’d nearly made love to him despite Charles, despite the fact that we had been raised as siblings, despite my own better judgment. If I died tonight it would be my own fault. The same as if I had put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger.

Richard must have seen the look of terror and disgust on my face because he drew away from me and seemed to shrink back to his normal height. He looked tired and worn down suddenly—a man that has struggled against his daemons and lost.

“It’s the curse, Rachel, don’t you see? The curse of the Amon-kai. Remember what I told you? The sons of Anubis are forced to wear the true face of their father, once a month at the full moon. And they must bathe in blood before they can return to their human forms.”

“I...I don’t understand,” I said, shaking my head. “What are you telling me, Richard? That you’re some kind of a...I don’t know...some kind of a werewolf? And you feel compelled to kill someone every full moon?”

“I don’t feel compelled—I ~am~ compelled,” he said earnestly. “What you saw tonight was nothing. It was voluntary. But once a month when the full moon is in the sky, I become a creature that is neither wolf nor human but partially both—a form which truly ~is~ monstrous. And then I’m nothing but a savage, ravening beast. When that happens, there are only two ways to regain my human form.” He looked at me intently. “Either I have to join with my Lana-zeel, something I have yet had the opportunity to do, or...I have to kill someone.”

“Oh my God.” I actually felt faint. I think I started to fall because the room tilted and then suddenly I was sitting on the bed, still wearing only my panties, with Richard beside me. His bare muscular arm was around my shoulders, supporting me gently.

“Are you all right?” he asked earnestly. “Want me to get you a drink of water?”

I shook my head, then laughed, an ugly cracked sound even to my ears. My adopted brother was a serial killer who felt compelled to bathe in blood every full moon but aside from that, he was such a sweet considerate guy. Who’d have thought? Richard was talking again. I dragged my mind back from the edge of the abyss and made myself listen.

“Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you, Rachel?” he was saying. “I can’t help myself stop—only you can stop me. Only you can break the curse. The Lanor-zur needs his Lana-zeel to stop killing. I need to make love to you, to seal out bond, in order to control the blood lust.”

“Richard,” I said, feeling like I might be sick. “I’m sorry about the shitty life you had. Mom had no right to take me away from you and refuse to see you ever again. And when Dad died too, well, I guess your mind just cracked. You need help. We’re going to get you some help.”

“The only help I need is right here,” he said harshly. He pulled me against him and pressed his mouth against mine in a rough, demanding kiss that bruised my lips and poured fire down my throat. Against my will I felt my body reacting to him. Oh God, even knowing all that I knew about him I still couldn’t help the rush of heat that made my nipples into hard little points, that made my sex wet and slippery and ready for him.

“Stop it!” I gasped, pushing away. I put both hands on the flat muscular planes of his chest, trying to keep some distance between us. But Richard didn’t try to kiss me again. Instead he drew back and pointed to the right side of his chest, just below his nipple.

“Look, Rachel. Look at what you’ve done for me, even with that little bit of unwilling passion.”

I looked and saw that the puckered bullet wound was gone—healed. There was only a faint trace of white scar tissue where the bloody hole had been and as I watched, it faded away too. Magic.

“I...I…” I shook my head, at a loss for words. So he wasn’t lying—at least about some things. But that didn’t change one fact.

“You’re still a killer,” I said, keeping the hard-won distance between us. “Curse or no curse, Richard. And you can’t lay that at my door.”

“I’m not trying to lay anything at your door, Rachel,” he said softly, and the agony and guilt were back in his eyes. “Every drop of blood I’ve spilled is on my own soul. I’d never ask you to assume blame for any of that. But now that we’ve found each other all that can stop.”

“How, Richard?” I said numbly. “How does it stop? I let you fuck me and you suddenly stop getting the urge to kill? Is that how it works?”

“No.” He took me by the shoulders and tried to pull me closer. I resisted him, and he gave up the effort. “No,” he said again. “No what happens in that when the bond is sealed between us, ~the curse will be broken.~ I won’t ~have~ to change anymore—not if I don’t want to. I won’t have to kill as long as I have you by my side. Don’t you see? It’s what I’ve been telling you all along—we belong together. I love you, Rachel. And I need you.”

“But…” I still couldn’t get over one fact. That he’d killed—multiple times. “You killed them,” I said to him. “Killed innocent people. How many? How many died, Richard, because you couldn’t find me?”

“One a month since I reached physical maturity at sixteen,” he said bitterly. “You know how old I am, Rachel. You do the math.” He got up from the bed and started pacing and gesturing as he talked. “At first, when I was young, smaller deaths would do. Dogs, cats, raccoons. Whatever animal that happened to be unlucky enough to cross my path on a full moon night. But once I reached maturity, that didn’t work anymore. My prey had to be human.”

“Dear God.” I put a hand to my lips, to silence the scream that wanted to come out.

“That’s right,” Richard said harshly. “Why do you think Dad killed himself? Because he didn’t want to kill anyone else. But after Mom left him, he didn’t have a choice. He was driven to it—forced by the curse. But I…I found a different way. A better way.”

“What way is that?” I whispered, wrapping my arms around myself to keep from shaking.

“Evil people.” Richard turned to me, a desperate light shining in his pale green eyes. “I only kill those that hurt others. Pimps, murderers, rapists. I make sure I’m near one of them when I turn, on the night of the full moon. And that’s who I kill to break the curse and regain my human form.”

“Evil people?” I laughed again, that same jagged crazy sounding laugh that hurt coming out. “You kill ~evil~ people, Richard?”

“Yes.” He dropped to his knees before me in one fluid motion and took both my hands in his. “I swear on my soul, Rachel, that I have never killed anyone who didn’t deserve it. I’ve never taken an innocent life.”

“And what if you’re wrong?” I asked, pulling my hands away from his. “What if you’re mistaken, Richard? Who are you to decide who’s guilty and who’s innocent? Who are you to decide who ought to die?”

“You decide,” he said softly. “Every day in court. It’s your job.”

“My job,” I said in an icy voice, “Is to present the facts to a jury and a judge. I do my best to win each case I take, but I ~never~ for one instant believe that I should have the power of life or death over another human being. To think otherwise goes beyond hubris, Richard. It’s a sickness. A disease.”

He looked at me, anguish filling the handsome face I had grown to love all over again in the last few weeks. The face of my brother. My lover. A monster. A stranger.

“It was all I could do, Rachel,” he said, his deep voice breaking over my name. “I couldn’t find you. Couldn’t claim you. Couldn’t break the curse on my own. Please, can’t you see how badly I need you?”

I shook my head. An icy blanket had covered my emotions. A layer of frost had settled on my heart that nothing could thaw. “I’m sorry, Richard,” I told him, feeling each separate syllable fall from my lips like a cube of ice. “But I just can’t. Can’t be a part of this. Can’t do what you’re asking me to do. I’m sorry for you, for everything you’ve been through, but I can’t be your salvation. I’m not your savior—I’m just your sister.”

“And that’s what it boils down to, doesn’t it?” He was on his feet again, bending over me, the fire back in his eyes. “Not just my bloody history or your stupid fiancé—the one you can’t even bear to touch. No, the reason you won’t be with me is the simple, stupid fact that my parents were killed and yours adopted me. That I was raised as your brother.”

“It’s not—” I began, but he cut me off.

“Well let me tell you, Rachel,” he crouched down and took my hands, his eyes blazing into mine. “Let me tell you, I’m ~not~ your brother. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t blood. We’re Amon-kai, the both of us and whether you like it or not, blood calls to blood. Rachel, please…” His eyes were desperate, demanding. He kissed my hands, my wrists, slow hot kisses that sent fire down my arms and threatened to melt the ice that had formed over my heart. “I need you—we need each other. Let me take you now. Let me join with you—fill you with my essence and seal our bond. It’s the only way to break the curse.”

I still felt numb. “So if I lay back and spread my legs for you, this can all be over?” I demanded. “If I let you come in me? If that’s all there is to it why didn’t you just do it the other night when you practically raped me?”

Richard’s eyes hardened. “I didn’t do anything you didn’t want, Rachel. Didn’t do a damn thing your body wasn’t crying out for.”

“Fine, see it however you want to.” I stared up at him angrily, my hands balled into fists. When it came down to it, Richard was as bad as Charles, always wanting something I didn’t feel willing or able to give. Just because my body reacted to his didn’t mean I felt right about letting him touch me…letting him take me. But it seemed to be all he cared about, all he wanted from me. And it seemed like this horrible nightmare was never going to stop until I gave him what he wanted. Abruptly, I made a decision.

Pulling my hands from his, I stalked over to the side of my bed. Very deliberately, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my panties and slid them down my legs. Then I lay back on the bed naked and spread my legs, baring myself to him completely.

“What are you doing?” Richard looked at me uncertainly.

“Giving you what you want. Giving you the only thing you seem to care about,” I told him. I felt like I was dying inside, like his touch on my skin would either make me burst into flame or wither away to nothing at all but I couldn’t stop now.

“Is that what you really think?” His eyes were anguished now. Anguished and outraged. “That the reason I spent so much time and effort to find you was in order to break the curse? That you don’t matter to me except for that?”

“That’s what it seems like.” I was getting cold, laying on the bed naked but I was damned if I would move. “Isn’t this what you’ve been after from the minute you found me?”

“Goddamnit, I ~love~ you, Rachel! I’ve loved you since we were kids. Remember how we used to lay in bed at night and listen to Mom and Dad talking downstairs? I used to lay there with you wrapped in my arms and think, ‘Someday that’ll be us. Me and Rache.”

“Listen to them ~fucking~ is more like it,” I spat, pushing myself up on my elbows. “That’s what they were doing. That’s the way he kept her for as long as he did. Well, let me tell you, Richard—you can’t keep me that way. Just because my body responds to yours doesn’t mean it’s meant to be or that it’s right or that we have to seal some kind of weird, ritualistic bond that started growing between us when we were children.”

“What does it mean then?” he asked softly, coming to stand over me where I lay on the bed.

“I... I don’t know. I just know what you want from me isn’t right.” I took a deep breath and lay back down again, trying to relax in the impossibly tense situation. “But I’m willing to give it to you,” I said, forcing the words out. “Once. Tonight. But never again.”

“What are you offering me Rachel?” Richard’s voice was dangerously soft.

“What you’ve been after all along,” I said. “Me.” I looked up at him. “You say you need me to break the curse—that you need to come inside me. Well, fine, Richard, I’ll let you.” I gestured to the bulge behind his expensively tailored charcoal gray slacks. “Put it in me,” I said. “Just like you did the other night—but only that far. Put it in me and come—fill me up if you want to. I’m on the pill so it should be safe. But don’t you take my virginity—you can go only so far and no farther. That’s my only stipulation.”

“Listen to you,” he growled, his deep voice thick with anger. “Your only ‘stipulation’ is that I not take your virginity? Why, because you want to give it to your darling Charles on your wedding night?”

“As a matter of fact, yes,” I said, trying to sound calm. “Charles has certain... expectations about our first time together. I’d just as soon not disappoint him.” I spread my thighs wider and looked up at him. “Well?”

“Expectations, hmm?” He stepped closer and to my horror, began to unzip his pants. I had been sure he wouldn’t take the bait. That I could call his bluff by offering myself when I was clearly unwilling. But now his pants were parting, showing black silk boxers beneath the charcoal fabric.

“Y... yes,” I almost whispered.

“Well, if he expects to be the first cock in your tight little pussy he may be disappointed. Don’t you think?” Richard asked.

“Richard... I…” I started to scramble up but he held me down effortlessly with one hand while he continued to shed the rest of his clothes with the other.

“But you know, I think you have some unrealistic expectations yourself, Rachel,” he continued, caressing my belly with one warm, horribly strong hand. “And some wrong ideas in your pretty little head.”

“What... what are you talking about?” I gasped. He was naked now and stroking his long, thick shaft with one hand while he continued to hold me down with the other.

“Well, first of all, being on the pill might protect you from a human man, but we’re not strictly human,” he told me. “And then you seem to have the idea that if I just put the head of my cock in you and fill you with my essence—my cum—it will seal our bond, break the curse, and absolve you of any further difficulties with your troublesome older brother.”

“I thought that was what you said. What you kept telling me.” I stopped struggling and looked up at him. I tried not to see the long, thick shaft of flesh with its broad mushroom-shaped head rising from between his muscular thighs.

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” he growled softly. “Because I don’t just need to bond with you, don’t just need to fuck you, I need to ~breed~ you, Rachel. Especially the first time.”

“I don’t…don’t understand,” I stammered. “Breed? What does that even mean?”

He let me sit up. “Look closely,” he commanded, directing my eyes exactly where I had been trying not to look—at his naked, hard cock. “Look at the base of my shaft, what do you see?”

I bit my lip and willed my body not to respond as his musky, intensely male scent filled my nose. Still, my nipples tightened and my sex got even wetter as I watched his large, capable hand caress the thick shaft of flesh.

Being a virgin, I was no expert on penises, but that didn’t mean I’d never seen one before. I knew what they were supposed to look like. I had felt Richard’s before, the last time he had almost taken me, but I had never gotten a good look at it. Now I did and it appeared completely normal (well, except for being bigger than any other male member I’d ever seen) except for a definite thickening around its base. Yes, I decided as I stared at it more closely, almost mesmerized, the root of his cock was definitely much wider and broader than any other I had ever seen in my limited experience. But was that normal? Or some strange Amon-kai trait?

“What am I supposed to be seeing?” I asked nervously.

“My knot.” He stroked it again and it seemed to swell. I was fascinated and frightened at the same time—unable to look away. “It’s much more pronounced when I’m in my, ah, my other form,” he said. “But I hope you’ll never have to see that. Never have to go through that.”

I had a sudden, vivid mental image of a huge black wolf, the wolf I always saw in my dreams, with Richard’s pale green eyes. I shivered.

“What…why are you showing it to me?” I asked.

“To explain what’s going to happen—what ~has~ to happen the first time I fuck you,” he said. “Here.” He took my hand and tried to lead it to his shaft.

“No!” I pulled back quickly, as though stung by the touch of his heated flesh, but Richard was relentless.

“I can ~show~ you this using your hand or I can let you ~feel~ it in your pussy, Rachel,” he growled. “Make your choice.”

Reluctantly, I gave him my hand and stifled a gasp as he wrapped my small fingers around his thick, arrogant cock. He was molten steel and rose petals against my palm—hard and hot and soft all at once—and his musk was still strong in my nostrils, making it hard to think.

“Now.” Richard’s voice was hoarse, as though he could barely talk with my hand wrapped around him. “The first time I enter you…really enter you, I’ll need to press deep, to be sure I get all the way in.” He demonstrated by sliding my hand down the length of his shaft to the base, just where the mysterious swelling began.

“Why?” I whispered, completely beyond protesting that what he was saying would never happen.

“To get this in you,” he stroked the swelling at the root of his cock. “To get my knot deep into your sweet, wet pussy, Rachel.” He demonstrated further, sliding my fingers down until they encircled the area in question. Or rather, tried to encircle. The knot, as he called it, was so wide and thick, there was no possible way for me to get my hand all the way around the base of his cock. I thought of how much larger my hand was than the tender area between my legs.

“There’s no way,” I told him. “Even if I wasn’t a virgin, even if I let you, there’s no way you could possibly force that thing into me. I’m too small.”

“Don’t worry, my Lana-zeel, your body will open to accept me.” He stroked my cheek gently with the back of his hand and I shivered. “And it won’t really expand until I’m all the way inside you, until my cock is buried to the root in your tight pussy. It’s like a key that fits a lock exactly.”

“But... but what then?” I realized I was touching him on my own now, that he was no longer forcing my hand and yet I couldn’t stop.

“Then I’ll breed you,” he said simply. “You see, I can put my cock inside you, stroke in and out a little and come, just like any other man could. But that’s the easy way—the human way. That’s not the way we of the Amon-kai fuck. Not the way we breed.”

“How do we, I mean ~they~, fuck?” I asked breathlessly.

“It takes much longer for us. Once we’re joined, we’ll be together for hours,” he promised me darkly.

“Hours?” For some reason my mind flashed back to something I’d seen once as a small child. I’d gone to the zoo on a field trip and somehow I’d gotten lost from my classmates and wound up near the wolf habitat. It must have been mating season or maybe the female wolf was simply in heat, I didn’t know. All I remembered was watching the male mount her over and over, thrusting rhythmically into her from behind as he bit her neck. Finally, my teacher had found me and dragged me away, horrified at the spectacle I’d been subjected to. But what I remembered most of the whole experience was the way the female wolf had been held in place, and not just by the male’s fangs buried in her scruff. I remembered thinking that he was locked to her, locked inside her somehow, that he would never let her go until he was finished, although I had no idea what exactly finishing could mean in such a situation.

Was that what Richard was proposing for me? For us? That we would be locked together with his cock buried deep inside me as he fucked me over and over and over again? God, what a nightmare! But the wet heat between my thighs made a liar out of me. His words weren’t repulsing me—they were turning me on, turning on the Amon-kai part of me I tried so hard to keep buried, even though I knew it was wrong.

“Hours? Really?” I repeated, feeling my face grow hot as I continued to stroke his shaft.

Richard nodded. “My cock will be lodged deep in your pussy and when my knot enters you, my body will begin to make a special kind of cum—~essence~ is what we call it.” He stroked my cheek again. “I’ll fill you with it, Rachel. And your body will open to me and drink it in, like a flower drinks in the rain. I’ll unlock the secret part of you—the Amon-kai part. And then our bond will be sealed. But that’s not going to happen tonight.”

“It’s not?” I looked up at him, blinking, trying to shake the daze of lust I had somehow fallen into. “Oh, right. It’s not,” I said, more firmly, forcing myself to take my hand from his shaft and sit back on the bed, away from him.

“No, because I won’t breed you against your will.” Richard’s voice was harsh now. Taking me by the shoulders, he pushed me down on the bed.

“What...what are you doing?” I struggled against him, but it was useless; he was too strong.

Richard held me down easily, his green eyes burning. “Just because I won’t breed you tonight, doesn’t mean I won’t take what you offered.” He got on his knees in front of me and spread my legs, his shaft jutting dangerously from between his thighs. “I won’t take your virginity completely, Rachel. But I’m going to put my cock in you and I ~am~ going to come in you.”

“What? Why?” I demanded, fighting a losing battle to close my thighs. “What possible good can it do you if you don’t...don’t do everything you said? If you don’t, uh, ~breed~ me?”

He gave me a hard, humorless smile. “Just being this close to you and breathing in your scent will cause my body to make some essence. Not as much as if I was all the way inside you with my knot lodged in your cunt, but enough to make you understand what you’re missing. Now hold still, Rachel, I wouldn’t want to slip and go too far.”

“Please, Richard,” I moaned softly. “Please don’t do this.” I was thinking of how he’d said the pill wouldn’t protect me from him, from his cum. But he seemed to read my mind.

“Don’t worry, Rachel,” he said softly, stroking my cheek again. “You’re safe enough as long as I don’t breed you. And I won’t—not tonight.”

Part of me wanted to struggle and fight, but I knew there was no use. He was too strong, too big. There was nothing I could do but spread my thighs even wider and let him slide his cock inside me, praying he didn’t go too far and take my virginity completely.

I closed my eyes tight as I felt his broad, mushroom-shaped head part the swollen lips of my pussy and begin to enter my warm, wet entrance. God, I couldn’t believe I was letting him do this. Couldn’t believe I was actually lying still and letting him push his thick shaft into my sex while I did nothing.

“No.” Richard’s voice was like a whipcrack, forcing me to open my eyes. “No, Rachel,” he said sternly, his green eyes still burning. “I want you to watch this. Want you to watch me fill you up and come in you. It won’t be nearly as much as either one of us needs, but I want you to see it anyway.”

Helpless to disobey him, I lifted my head and watched obediently as another inch of his broad shaft slid into my tight entrance. And then another and another. He was almost halfway buried inside me now, but the thickest part of him, the root, or knot, or whatever you wanted to call it, was still safely outside. Suddenly, I could feel him against my virgin barrier, pressing lightly, threatening to break through.

“Richard!” I gasped, digging my fingers into his muscular forearms. “Richard, no!”

“Shhh,” he said softly. “Gently, Rachel. I promised not to take your virginity, and I won’t. But you’ll have to endure me inside you a little while longer until I come.”

“Why...why don’t you go ahead and come then?” I gasped, tightening my inner muscles involuntarily around the thick shaft that was invading my pussy.

He hissed, and I felt every muscle in his big body tense, as though he was holding himself back by sheer force of will. “I will, baby,” he promised me, drawing back ever so slightly and surging into me again, right up to the barrier. “I will come inside you, but I need to fuck you first.”

“God, Richard…” I moaned, letting my head fall back in mounting frustration. I couldn’t tell if I was horrified to have him buried halfway inside me like this or upset because I couldn’t have him all the way in me. I was so ~confused~. But Richard wasn’t.

“Quiet now, Rache,” he murmured as I whimpered softly beneath him. “Lie still like a good girl and let me fuck you.”

“Please... oh, God,” I moaned as he pulled back again and pressed into me again. I could feel myself stretching to accommodate his invading shaft, but I knew what I was feeling was nothing compared to what it would have been like if I had his knot lodged inside me. But that wasn’t going to happen tonight, was it? Please, God, no... it couldn’t happen tonight. I couldn’t let it.

“That’s right, baby... good girl,” Richard said softly, pulling me away from my half-delirious guilty thoughts. He was stroking into me in a slow, steady, maddening rhythm now, and his warm hands had found my breasts. Slowly, in time to his fucking, he twisted my ripe, aching nipples, causing a low-grade current of pleasurable pain to arc between the sensitive tips of my breasts and my open sex.

“Oh... oh...” I couldn’t make myself stop moaning. I could feel the hunger in my body, the need to let him in completely, and I fought it with all my strength. Still, I knew that if Richard had decided he wanted to take me all the way, to breed me as he had put it, I wouldn’t even have put up a token resistance at this point. No, I would have welcomed him, would have drawn him into me even though I knew with every fiber of my being it was wrong.

“That feels good, doesn’t it?” Richard smiled down at me, his large hands still playing over my naked, helpless body. “But I know what can make you feel even better.” One warm hand trailed down my trembling stomach, and then I felt the broad pad of his thumb settle between my pussy lips and rub lightly over my throbbing clit.

“Richard!” I bolted upright at the shock of pleasure it caused. Richard caught my wrists and pushed me back down on the bed.

“Careful, Rachel,” he warned me, his deep voice hoarse. “I almost went too far that time. Remember, no sudden moves if you want to keep your virginity intact.” He nudged the barrier inside me again with the head of his cock, as if to remind me of the seriousness of our situation.

“Please, Richard! God, please, I’m going insane!” I breathed, wondering how the hell he could keep so calm while he was stroking into me. “Please, can’t you just end it? Can’t you just come in me?”

“I’m very close now, baby,” he whispered, stroking my cheek. “Very close to filling you up. But I need you to come with me.”

“Why... why do I have to come?” I demanded, panting.

“Your orgasm will carry my essence deeper into your body. Deeper into your cunt.” Richard’s hands were moving again, trailing down my shivering belly until he reached the place where he was piercing me, my open pussy. This time I didn’t jump when he slid his thumb gently over my clit. I just moaned and tried to open myself wider. There was no way I was getting out of this until I did exactly as he wanted—there was no way around it, I would have to go through it. So I needed to relax and let him make me come.

Easier said than done. I had never felt so tense in my entire life, and the slowly building spiral of pleasure tightening in my belly didn’t help either. God, when I came I was going to come so ~hard~. I just knew it. Richard seemed to know it too.

His thumb stroked across my swollen clit in time to his cock moving in my body, and all the while his green eyes—Amon-kai eyes—burned into me as though he wanted to unlock the secrets of my soul while he fucked me.

“Come for me, Rachel,” he whispered. “Let me feel you come.”

His words seemed to trigger something inside me. The slow swell of need and desire ended abruptly as the orgasm rushed over me like hot lava. As the convulsions of pleasure shook me, I had a thought that he could have made my body come much faster if he wanted to, but for some reason, he had wanted to draw this torture out.

“Richard! Richard!” I came sobbing his name, clawing at his forearms and looking into his eyes, my soul naked before his.

“Rachel,” he whispered. “I love you.” He pressed into me and I felt him hard against my virgin barrier once more. Then with a hot rush, he filled me with his cum.

I had never felt anything like it and I suspected there was nothing like it in the human world. The flood of heat that filled me seemed to reach deep inside my body, looking for an entrance to my soul. I felt myself coming again, crying out as the contractions of my orgasm pulled his essence even deeper into me. I had a fierce, burning desire to have him in me, all of him. To have his cock buried to its thick root in my cunt and feel his knot swelling inside me, locking us together for however long it took to seal the bond. It was an animal urge. An Amon-aki urge. And suddenly it was too strong to deny.

I surged upwards again, trying to force him into my body, trying to make him take me all the way. All thoughts of Charles and our upcoming wedding, or of my childhood and being raised as Richard’s little sister disappeared. At that moment I didn’t see him as my brother, or even as a man. He was simply the other half of my soul, my mate, and I needed him desperately.

“No!” Richard held me back. “No, I promised not to breed you tonight, Rachel. I won’t do that until you come to me of your own accord. Until you offer yourself to me.”

With one swift move, he drew out of me and knelt panting on the bed beside me. His sudden withdrawal left me feeling dazed and helpless and damn near tears. But that was crazy, wasn’t it? There was no way I could want him, not now, not knowing what he was. A killer. A monster. And still, on a very deep psychological level, my brother. But still I ached for him, ached for promises unfulfilled.

“Richard…” I said, and stopped, not sure how to finish. I could feel his heated essence leaking from between my thighs. I looked down at myself and saw how it filled my pussy to overflowing. It was creamy and pearly white in contrast to the deep pink of my inner cunt lips and almost seemed to shimmer in the dim light of my bedroom.

“Look at the mess I made.” Richard’s deep voice was hoarse and anguished and I knew he wasn’t just talking about the soft vee of my sex, now filled with his essence. Swiftly he knelt between my legs and I felt him cleaning me with long, strong strokes of his hot tongue.

“Richard—oh!” I cried out as his tongue parted my pussy lips and pressed deep inside me, ruthlessly cleansing me of the evidence of his need. I wanted to bury my hands in his dark hair and hold him in place as I had before when he offered to kiss me between my legs, but it was over too quickly for that. Before I could say anything else, Richard had finished the tongue bath and was standing up beside the bed.

I watched numbly as he pulled on his boxers and pants, not certain what to say. Finally, I managed to ask, “What…where are you going?”

“Away. I’ll only make things worse if I stay here.” Richard looked at me sadly. “I’m sorry if I hurt you, Rachel. Sorry for everything I did. Sorry that you had to find out what I was.”

“Richard,” I whispered. “Please, don’t go.”

He laughed bitterly. “Why not? Why should I stay? So you can tell me again how you don’t think of me ‘that way?’ So I can watch you deny the Amon-kai part of yourself and marry Charles?”

“But…” I started and didn’t know how to go on. But Richard was at no loss for words.

“Look at me, Rachel,” he demanded, leaning down and putting a hand under my chin. “Tell me what you’re feeling right now. Can you look at me and see me as a man and not a monster? Can you honestly tell me you can get past our childhood and accept me as your lover and not your brother?”

“I…” I bit my lip, feeling the wrongness of that old taboo come back to haunt me once more. I knew he was right. I might get over his monthly killings in time, as horrific as they were, but there was still a part of me that looked at him and thought ~family~. Still a part that was horrified at what I had just let my own brother do to me.

“You can’t, can you?” Richard looked sad but his eyes were hard. “I guess I hoped after seventeen years you could think of me differently. That you could see past our childhood relationship. I guess I was wrong.”

“Richard…” I began, feeling hot tears well up in my eyes.

“I love you. I always will,” he told me. “But I’m leaving now. And this time I won’t be back.”

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