16: Grief-Stricken Widow

Jia Hui Liang opens his eyes and sits up, he recognizes this place; It's his old room.

Jia Hui Liang looks in the corner at his brother sitting there reading, “did brother not sleep?”

Jia Min Sheng looks up from the book, “I am fine, unlike you… who did that?”

Jia Hui Liang looks at the wrist his brother was gesturing as he smiles weakly remembering the recent madness, “I'm losing my mind, brother.”

“Is it that bad?” Jia Min Sheng asks empathetic.

“Not now or not yet, but it will.”

Jia Min Sheng stands up, “let's eat breakfast,”

Jia Hui Liang gets off the bed then holds his brother's sleeves. “Can Chu Liang join us?”

Jia Min Sheng looks at him, as for as he knew Jia Hui Liang didn't like Chu Liang it's not that Chu Liang had done anything or rather it's because he hasn't done anything Chu Liang lived like a ghost interacting with no one and barely making effort to him. Chu Liang had a cold expression most times and turned away making Jia Hui Liang feel ignored. So it came as no surprise that he didn't like Chu Liang.

“You don't need to force yourself to get along with Chu Liang, it's okay if you don't,” he said coldly.

“Brother, you are wrong, when am I going to get a niece or nephew? You are married for longer years than I have, but I haven't heard any news?” He said.

Though to be honest Jia Hui Liang fears kids, the pains of his past life makes him fear children and it was a child that convinced him to kill himself. That's why the idea of carrying anymore pains him, and interacting makes him feel terror of what might happen. But in the end it was about his brother. In this world children are a means to move forward and if it can be used as a reason for his brother and wife to be closer, fine.

Jia Min Sheng blushes, clearing his throat, “no worries about this between us and our marital affairs.”

“Really? But Xiao Yu deserves a cousin!” Jia Hui Liang insists.

“We will get one soon, now let's go have you eat breakfast.” Jia Min Sheng said, trying to evade his brother's pestering.

Jia Min Sheng and Chu Liang could barely be called couples, he knew Chu Liang wasn't interested in being his wife and had no intentions of forcing him to be. So he left his beautiful wife and the two lived as ghosts to each other, not even bothering to talk to each other.

Jia Min Sheng knows he is not liked by his wife, after all it was a forced arrangement by his father with another country for foreign exchange, and unlike Jia Hui Liang their father could care less about him and his feelings and opinions.

Jia Hui Liang holds his brother's arm walking outside his room, “good! So Chu Liang can join us”.

Jia Min Sheng was speechless, “Ah, um–”

Jia Hui Liang was determined after all he doesn't want Chu Liang to be devastated, he want him to come to terms with himself before the regrets begins and the sadness sinks in after all he couldn't forget the past even if everyone has.

It was after placing paying respects to his brother's memorial Jia Hui Liang could barely comprehend it, his brother gone he was supposed take him away they were to live together and finally be brothers. But it seems the heavens wish it not to be, or wish him to have someone. First his son abandons him his daughter dies and now this? He should just disappear and join his family.

Soon he wonders to the lake of the mother he never knew after all it was a comfort space for both of them, but surprisingly there was another who looks for comfort in that same spot... Chu Liang?

Looking at the male there was a for deeper silence than his own that he didn't know of.

“Usually he'd be here by this time? Where is he?”

Jia Hui Liang was confused, who was Chu Liang was asking for?

“Who?”

“My husband of course, who else? Though don't tell him I call him that, if you do I'll deny it”.

“Chu Liang my brother is… gone”. Jia Hui Liang wasn't sure but this felt familiar to when his baby died.

“He is not here, he didn't tell me he wouldn't be here, haa… he is probably feeling angry… that's not right he'd still tell me, ah when will he get back?”

Jia Hui Liang heart shatters he could see his brother in law standing in the lake as the clouds parts and the moon light shines on him, Jia Hui Liang comes to reality that Chu Liang was not cold-hearted or emotionless. His love for his brother was real, Chu Liang's eyes was devoid of joy and it's beauty and Chu Liang had beautiful eyes but now only pain and despair as well as denial.

“No,Chu Liang, you can't be like this! Your supposed to be cold and felt nothing towards my brother. Allow me to at least be angry at you for being a bitch!” Jia Hui Liang cries as he grabs Chu Liang's wrists. “I can't keep this pain to myself, I know it's selfish but at least let me vent without conscience!”

Chu Liang circulates his wrist holding Jia Hui Liang's hand, “Huihui, I've always wanted to call you that. Your brother really adores you it's too bad the love your father has couldn't be shared or you two would have been good friends. Huihui take care of your brother, I don't know how to so I can't do it. But I really want to,”

Jia Hui Liang is angry too angry,  “THEN WHY DIDN'T TRY WHEN HE WAS ALIVE?! NOW HE IS DEAD!! WHY TELL ME THIS NOW AFTER HE IS DEAD AND GONE!!”

As if struck by something Chu Liang's voided eyes revealed shock, “D-dead?”

Jia Hui Liang immediately regrets what he said but unbeknownst to him it's already too late because the next day Chu Liang would be found dead in his husband's room. He had cut his wrist and bled out the grief was too much and the blood of Chu Liang would be stain forever on Jia Hui Liang's hands.

Jia Hui Liang feels regret for greater than anyone could imagine, Chu Liang was unfortunate indeed but what's more his brother too. If anyone understands his brother it was Chu Liang.