: Chapter 45

The gardens are quiet at night. Only the chorus of chirping crickets and the soft howl of the wind follow me as I make my way to the familiar willow bordering the open lawn where the last ball took place.

I’ve come here often since that night, finding comfort in the shelter of the shadowy willow when I can’t sleep. I’ve grown used to sitting under there for hours, simply allowing myself time to think.

Brushing aside the low-hanging branches, I step underneath the canopy of leaves. I sigh, suddenly feeling more settled as I breathe in the warm night air.

But the peace I feel is short-lived when a shadow shifts beside the trunk.

I whirl, my fingers flying towards the dagger at my thigh only to be caught by a rough hand. “Easy, Gray, it’s just me.”

I blink through the darkness as my eyes adjust to the dim light, landing on the amused gray ones before me. “What are you doing here?” I sputter.

“I could ask you the same question.”

“And I could have stabbed you!”

Kai’s brows raise. “So you’re not going to try? I’d say that’s progress.”

“Oh, but I should for you scaring me like that.”

He lets go of my hand slowly, studying me all the while. “I scared you? You’re the one who crept up on me.”

“Well, I didn’t exactly know you would be here,” I whisper harshly.

“Clearly,” he says with a smirk twisting his lips. “But you’re more than welcome to stay.” And then he settles himself onto the ground, looking rather comfortable with his arm tucked behind his head.

I stare at him. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for you to get down here and join me.”

I stand there, watching the slow smile spread across his face.

“Is it the dress?” he asks as he sits up and begins shrugging off his suit coat. When it’s slid off his shoulders, he lays it on the ground beside him. “There, now you won’t get all dirty.”

I look down at the simple silk dress I slipped on for our dinner with the king and queen. It’s rather comfortable, and I was far too lazy to take it off before making my way out here. Kai must have felt similarly since he’s still wearing his fine attire.

But my hesitance to join him has nothing to do with dirtying my dress and everything to do with the fact that I shouldn’t stay here. What I should do is turn, wish him goodnight, and head back to my room without another word. And yet, my feet make no move to carry me away from him.

He pats the coat expectantly, and the sight has a choked laugh slipping past my lips. “How very gentlemanly of you, but that coat is not nearly big enough to save my dress from getting dirty.”

“I can take off my shirt and lay that down for you as well if you like,” he says casually.

“On second thought,” I mutter, “the coat will suffice.” He chuckles and I’m suddenly walking towards him, ignoring my screaming thoughts that tell me to do otherwise. I sit and slowly lay down beside him, our shoulders brushing. We are quiet for a long moment, both of us content to stare up at the drooping canopy of leaves above while listening to the crickets chirping beside us.

I’m almost reluctant to break the comfortable quiet, but I ask softly, “Why are you here?”

He almost laughs. “I’ve been coming here since I was a boy. In fact, I fell out of this very tree after Kitt dared me to climb it. Broke my arm, too—”

A bubble of laughter slips past my lips, cutting him off. “Are you laughing at me, Gray?” He’s trying to fight his own smile as he adds, “I’m glad you find my pain so amusing.”

I clear my throat, trying to compose myself. “So, what, you come here to reminisce on the fond memory?”

“Something like that.” He sighs. “I come here to think, to cool off. I’ve always liked the quiet out here. The escape from the palace.” He glances over at me before asking, “So why are you here?”

I smile slightly and echo his words. “To think. I like the quiet. The escape.”

I see his lips twitch out of the corner of my eye, and we are quiet for a moment before I ask, “Is there a reason you dragged me down onto the dirt?”

I look over at his shadowy profile as he stares at the branches above us. “To talk. To lay here in silence.” He shrugs lazily. “It doesn’t really matter.”

I look away from him. “So, you just want someone to keep you company?”

“Not someone. You.”

I can feel his eyes on me, but I don’t turn to look at him. “Do you want quiet company or talking company?”

He makes a sound that might have been a laugh. “Only you would ask me my preference on your company.”

I finally turn my head to meet his gaze. “That wasn’t an answer.”

He’s quiet for a long moment, seeming to study my face, search my eyes. “Talk to me.”

I stare at him, my voice suddenly very quiet when I finally ask, “About what?”

I watch a faint smile curve his lips. “Anything. Everything. What you’re thinking at this very moment, darling.”

I almost laugh. “Well, I’m currently thinking that this coat I’m lying on is far too itchy for a prince to wear.” He chuckles while I add, “And I’m also wondering how many bones you and Kitt broke.”

“Too many,” Kai sighs, shaking his head. “It was mostly me with the broken bones and injuries, though not all of them were due to Kitt’s brilliant ideas.” He pauses. “Most were from my training. Especially when I was learning to use a Healer’s ability.”

When his words sink in, I stiffen. “You don’t mean…” I trial off before trying again. “You didn’t have to—”

“Yes, I did,” he says simply, looking me right in the eyes. “I had to break my bones and then heal them. Or sometimes I’d be sliced open with a sword and have to learn how to stitch my own skin back together.”

He says this so casually that I can’t even begin to imagine the horrors he has been forced through. “How do you not hate him?” I whisper.

Silence stretches between us.

The small smile he wears is sad. “Because he made me strong.”

He says this far too calmly, and I want to shake him of his cool composure. It doesn’t matter how strong the king made him. The prince before me has been nothing but a pawn created by the man he calls Father. The thought makes me sick, makes me want to scream.

And yet, I understand.

His words strike me, hitting home. Our lives seem to share sad similarities, unfortunate fates. Both our childhoods consisted of training to become what we had to be, neither of us growing up the way we wished. Except, the fathers who raised us couldn’t be more different—one doing everything out of love, the other out of greed.

People aren’t born strong; they’re made that way.

And the prince and I know that better than most.

Kai continues casually as though his words didn’t just knock the air from my lungs. “Well, Kitt and I suffered several injuries for our stupidity, but not all of our games were dangerous. In fact, because our favorite activities as boys likely consisted of some sort of violence, my tutor would make us sit and play games she considered safe.” He heaves a sigh. “We considered them boring.”

“Oh really?” I huff out a laugh. “What games?”

“Well,” he reaches out a hand to take hold of mine, “Madame Platt’s personal favorite to torture us with was thumb wars. Though, we’d still find a way to make even those violent.”

“Thumb wars?” My brows crinkle in confusion. “That has the word war in it, and it’s still considered safe?”

I’ve never seen Kai look so bewildered before, and I nearly laugh again. “You’ve never heard of a thumb war?”

His own thumb strokes over my knuckles, forcing me to focus on my next words. “Well, in the slums, the only game I tended to play was trying to guess how many coins were in someone’s pocket before I stole them.”

The corner of his mouth kicks upward. “And did you play that game before you robbed me?”

“No, but I would have lost if I had,” I huff. “You had far more silvers than I’d ever seen in one place.”

“Well, only until you stole half of them.”

I smile at that, and he watches me quietly for a moment. When my eyes drop to where he’s still holding my hand and distracting me with that thumb still sliding over my knuckles, he clears his throat and finally says, “Well, the game I’m going to teach you isn’t nearly as fun as yours, I’m sure.” Then he shakes his head at me, muttering under his breath, “I cannot believe you don’t know what a thumb war is.”

“Well, from the way you talk about it, it doesn’t seem like I’m missing out on much.”

“Very fair point.” His lips twitch into a smirk. “And that’s exactly why I’m going to teach it to you, so we can suffer together.” He twists onto his side and props himself up on an elbow, watching as I do the same. “The rules of this very riveting game are simple.” He curls our fingers together as I watch. Then he chuckles and reaches out with his other hand to pull my thumb into the air. “Now, you win by pinning the other person’s thumb down, but you have to keep your hand and arm still.” He peeks up at me and asks, “Understand?”

I frown at our joined hands. “I’m starting to understand why you find this game so boring.”

He laughs before muttering, “Go.”

I don’t even have time to react before his thumb is crushing mine, pinning it to my hand. When he looks up at me, his smile is smug. “I really thought your reflexes would be quicker than that, Gray.”

“I wasn’t ready, Azer.”

“Well, that’s kind of the whole point of reflexes.”

I halfheartedly roll my eyes at him. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, you’re still here,” he says softly, his eyes bright even in the dim light as they flick between mine.

We are quiet for a moment as I assess how to beat him at this game. Per usual, distraction seems to be the best option, so I say, “Tell me something I don’t know about you.”

He only seems slightly surprised by my random request, but it only takes him a moment to answer. “Blueberries. I don’t like them.”

I choke back my laugh. “You don’t like blueberries?”

“No, I take it back.” He pauses, seeming to consider something. “I hate blueberries.”

“Is there a reason for this loathing?”

“Have you tasted them?” he asks, and I nod in answer. “Then, there. That’s my reason. They’re disgusting.”

I huff out a laugh, and when he opens his mouth to say something, I cut him off with a quiet, “Go.”

My thumb lands on his and I’m about to brag my victory when he easily slips it out from beneath mine. And then, once again, he has my thumb pinned. “Adorable effort to distract me, darling.”

I sigh in frustration. “I see why you hate this game.”

“No, I hate this game because it’s boring. You hate this game because you’re bad at it.”

I glare at him, and he grins at me. His thumb sweeps down the length of mine, and I refuse to tear my eyes from his. “Now,” he says slowly, “tell me something I don’t know about you.”

“Easy.” I give him a bright smile. “I love blueberries.”

Kai groans. “Of course you do.”

“They are just delicious. I mean, talk about the perfect blend of tart and sweet and—”

“I am never going to hear the end of this, am I?”

“—honestly, I think they might be the best fruit out there. I could easily eat them with every meal and—”

Kai leans closer and sighs out an exasperated, “Paedyn.” I clamp my mouth shut at the sound of my name. “I am content to listen to you talk for hours, but if you must speak about fruit, then at least pick one we both enjoy.”

I press my lips together to smother my smile. The future Enforcer is willing to listen to me ramble about fruit. The thought has me on the verge of both bursting out in laughter and blushing from head to toe.

“Fair enough,” I say simply. “How about oranges?”

He makes a face. “I don’t like pulp.”

“Fine. Bananas?”

“I hate the texture.”

“Is there any fruit you do like?” I huff, shaking my head at him. “You are the pickiest prince I know.”

“I am one of the two princes you know, and trust me, Kitt is not much better than I am.”

I give him a pointed look. “I’m still waiting to hear a fruit you don’t find repulsive.”

He’s quiet for a moment, pondering his answer while his thumb runs idly over my own. “Strawberries.”

I blink at him. “I love strawberries.”

A slow smile tips up his lips. “And I find them not repulsive.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Go.”

The word tumbles from my mouth, and I take advantage of his surprise. Determination drives me as I fight to pin his thumb down, moving my hand and arm in the process. I nearly fall on top of him to finally get my thumb to land on his, though I’ve broken the rules to do it.

And then I’m suddenly being tugged fully against his body.

He yanks on my arm, pulling me close enough to count the dark lashes surrounding his eyes. “You cheated, Gray.”

“I did what I had to do to win, Azer.”

“Hmm,” he hums, and I feel it vibrate through his chest. “I suppose it’s my fault for forgetting what a vicious, little thing you are.”

“Well, I—”

The words die in my throat when he uncurls his hand from mine and trails his fingers down my arm. I suppress a shiver at his sudden touch, but the smile that lifts his lips tells me it didn’t go unnoticed.

“I take it back,” he says softly. “This game isn’t boring in the least bit when I play it with you.” His gaze has dropped to the fingers gliding over my arm, and I still under his gentle touch.

I’m not sure how long we stay like that, listening to the wind rustling the leaves above us as we study one another. And it’s only when his fingers trail up my neck to tuck a stray piece of hair behind my ear that I finally come to my senses.

“I should go.”

The unsure words hang between us, barely more than a whisper that the wind nearly steals away.

“That doesn’t sound like what you want to do at all,” he murmurs.

I refuse to even puzzle out what it is that I want to do, so I say instead, “One of these days, I’m going to beat you fairly in a thumb war, and then you won’t find it so fun.”

He chuckles softly, followed by an equally soft murmur. “It’s not the winning I find fun. It’s you, darling.”

After a moment too long, I pull myself out of his hold and sit up slowly. The night has grown colder, and without the heat of Kai’s body next to mine, my thin dress does little to keep me warm.

Kai sits up beside me and wraps his jacket around my shoulders. “You’re right. That coat is far too itchy for a prince to wear.” Then his lips twitch into a smirk. “So, I’ll let you wear it instead.”