Chapter 167 - 167 Putting Myself First

167 Putting Myself First

The anger that burned deep in my chest had transformed into a mix of emotions that I failed to understand. It just hurt deep inside of me.

I have to call Justin…

“Hi there!” Justin’s cheerful voice answered the phone when the line connected.

“Hi…” I greeted him blankly.

“Oh, you don’t sound so well. Did something happen perhaps?” he took a guess that was spot on.

I must have sounded like the world was ending and I wasn’t even bothered to hide my distress anymore. Justin waited silently on the other end of the line for me to tell him what was wrong. I took in a deep breath as I tried to find the right words.

“Adrian and Brandon ran into each other today. I mean, Brandon and I ran into Adrian together when he took me to take my fertility test. It was at Adrian’s hospital, and he was there…and they knew each other…and it was…a mess…” I explained while realizing that a lot of the things I said didn’t quite make sense.

“Aha…right…” Justin murmured.

“I wasn’t sure what I should have done. I was so confused, and I think in the end I ended up pissing off both of them…” I confessed softly.

.....

“Is that what’s bothering you?” Justin asked with concern.

It hadn’t really occurred to me that I was bothered by the fact that I had an argument with Adrian and then with Brandon. I kept telling myself up to that point that I had done the right thing, but I was so confused that I was no longer sure of that anymore.

“I don’t know…” I admitted while feeling extremely confused inside.

“Do you want to tell me exactly what happened?” Justin asked.

“Adrian turned up to see us during my fertility test and then things happened, and I ended up having sex with Adrian. I think he was mad, and to make matters worse, Brandon found out about it. I ended up fighting with him too…” I said before heaving a loud sigh.

“Oh, what a spicy mess you got yourself into…” Justin commented with a chuckle.

“It’s not funny, Justin. It’s so messed up. I feel like I don’t want to see them anymore and maybe they don’t want to see me anymore either…” I muttered before letting out another depressing sigh.

“Well, we’ll find out soon enough if that’s really how they feel. If they want to terminate the contract, I’ll hear about it soon enough. Until then, I guess you should not worry yourself over nothing,” Justin said comfortingly.

I knew that he was trying his best to make me feel better; however, I was too lost in my own emotions to even figure out what it was that made me feel the way that I was feeling. Everything got complicated too fast for me to handle.

“I think…I need a break…” I murmured.

“Sure. If you need a break, then take a break…” Justin readily agreed to my surprise.

“I can really do that?” I asked.

“Of course, you can. It’s like any other job. You can take sick leave, vacation leave or even mental sick leave. Just take your time, Elena. If you feel like you need to rest, then just rest. How long do you want to take time off? A few days, a week…or more?” Justin asked.

“Thank you. To be honest, I’m not so sure. Maybe I’ll start by taking a couple of days off just to, you know, clear my mind…” I replied.

“Sure. Let’s go with that. Should we meet up for dinner? We can go out together to somewhere nice and relaxing. What do you say?” Justin suggested.

“That would be nice. Thank you, Justin…” I thanked him sincerely.

“Don’t even mention it. I know this work is tough and having your clients run into each other like that must have been hard. Also, men are men, and they are jealous creatures, are they not?” Justin said with a laugh.

“I guess…” I murmured in reply.

“Get some rest and stop thinking too much. I’ll get in touch for our dinner plans soon, ok?” Justin said brightly.

“Ok. Thanks again…” I thanked him again.

“Just take care of yourself and put yourself first,” Justin advised.

“I’ll try...” I replied before my lips curved into a small smile for the first time in a while.

Our conversation ended on a pretty high note and I ended up having a few days to myself as part of my leave. I guessed that things were not all entirely bad. Taking Justin’s advice to take care of myself and putting myself first, I began looking up some affordable options for massages and spa. Getting my back scrubbed sounded like a very good self-care option.

I glanced briefly at my phone before reaching for it and switching it off without any hesitation. The phone was used mainly for me to communicate with my clients anyways. Apart from my clients, no one ever called or contact me in anyway on the phone. Since I’m supposed to be on leave now, I decided to go off the grid and shut off all communication that was work-related. It’s just for a few days, I told myself. It would be a few days of rest that I needed to heal my mind and find the will to continue fighting on.

That night I tried my best to get some good quality sleep. Admittingly, it was a difficult task and sleep did not come easy to me no matter how exhausted mentally and physically that I felt. I laid in bed in the dark for a long while with my eyes opened. In my mind I could see Adrian’s and Brandon’s displeased faces. My chest felt tight and I soon realized that I had begun regretting the things that I said to both of them. Even though I tried to tell myself that I did the right thing in drawing a clear line between work, the contract that we had, and my personal life, it still hurt me and the doubt in my chest continued to grow.

I have to stop caring and get some sleep…

–To be continued…