Chapter 32

I frown at the empty snare and mutter a curse. Out of the ten I set, all but one were empty. "Hopefully Uriah had better luck," I think, looking up at the setting sun and squinting. Sighing, I untie my snare and slip it into my pack and pull out the medium sized rabbit before heading back to our camp. As I walk, I think over Claires short conversation and contemplate why exactly I told her no when she asked to set the snares with me. I knew she wanted to use that as an opportunity to talk about whatever she had to say two days ago before the incident with Falsta. Was it because I wasn't ready to hear what she has to say? Because really, whatever she had to say wouldn't change things? And how exactly does that reflect on me, a man unwilling to listen to the words of a woman he cares about because he's afraid of getting his feelings hurt. And to rub salt into the wound, I've all but avoided her for two days "Pathetic."

I hear the voices and laughter through the thin pine forest of the Hallows before it comes into sight. Nik works on cleaning an animal—but from this distance I'm unable to tell what—while Markus, Bastain, and Uriah tend to the horses. Torva, Claire, Noel, and the other three women sit by the fire braiding each other's wet hair.

When I draw nearer, Nik gives a low whistle. "Good thing we have extra food from Lagras," he says, holding out his hand for my rabbit.

"Uriah didn't do so well either I take it?" I ask, eying the turkey that Nik cleans. On the ground is a massive pile of feathers and entrails.

He gives a shake of the head. "I heard the Hallows was supposed to be teeming with game," he says with a shrug.

"Has all the women bathed yet?" I ask, glancing over to the fire. Claire's dress is damp where water has soaked in from her braid.

"Aye. If you go, take the other's with you. I'm tired of smelling them," he says with a smirk. I give a chuckle and walk over to Bastain, Markus, and Uriah and pinch my nose. "Is that the horses or you lot I smell?" I tease.

"That's Markus," Bastain jokes, earning a laugh from Uriah.

"I'm going to head to the creek if anyone wants to join," I say, walking to my saddle bag and digging out a bar of soap and clothes. The other's follow suit and together the four of us make the walk to the creek. It's still in eyesight of the camp and any prying eyes could steal a peek if they chose to but given the fact that those eyes belong to a group of religious women I'm not all that worried.

Stripping naked, I walk into the knee-deep water and begin washing myself as best as I can. The other men do the same and we idly chat, mostly about their families. When Channing comes up—Markus's twin brother—the chat goes stale. Being their leader, I find that it's my place to offer a word or two. "Sorry again, my friend," I say, meeting Markus's gaze.

He offers a smile and scrubs his arms, lathering up with soap. "Thank you, Thomas. It means a lot."

"The few times I sparred with Channing he always bested me," Uriah offers. "I remember one time th—" he begins, but is cut off with Bastain giving a yelp.

We all turn and look at him, seeing him holding up his foot for inspection. "I think a fish bit me," he says simply. Grinning, I shake my head and roll my eyes glancing back at camp. Nik seems almost done with the rabbit and the women still sit by the fire. I'm about to look away when I see Claire steal a glance in my direction. When she notices that I too am watching her gaze quickly darts away and she does a complete one-eighty, her back now facing towards me.

"Stealing a peek, huh?" Uriah says, smirking. At first I think he is referring to Claire but realization sets in that he is talking about me.

"Aye. She's a looker that one," I say, in some attempt to protect Claire and her image of modesty. I then grin to myself and rinse off. Claire was undoubtedly discreetly looking at me while bathing and the thought begins a disturbance down below. It's bad form being at attention around other's while bathing so I quickly walk to the bank and retrieve my towel and wrap it around my waist, tucking up as best as I can.

Trying my best to clear my thoughts, I dry off as best as I can and get dressed before walking back to camp barefoot. The pine needles prick my feet but are a welcomed distraction of my previous thoughts moments ago.

"Just in time. Dinner will be done in five minuets or so," he says, slicing potatoes and allowing it to fall into a large pot hanging over the fire.

Nodding, I take a seat opposite of Claire and notice that she's actively trying to avoid my gaze.

"Ale?" Nik asks, handing me a waterskin. I take it gladly and drink deeply from it, enjoying the sweet bitter taste as it slides down my throat.

"Thank you," I say in return before looking at the group of women again. Torva is braiding the last of the hair on a woman who I believe is called Nettle. "Am I next?"

The giggle—even and Torva, who usually is bristly when it comes to men. "Your hair is long enough," she says.

"Is it?" I ask, running a hand through my locks. It had grown these last few months but long enough to hold a braid?

"I could try," she says with a shrug.

"Maybe tomorrow night as a last hurrah before we reach Riverton. A way to say 'we're out of your hair,'" I say lazily. "Get it?"

"I think you could've done better than that," Claire says, and the other women laugh and agree.

"Guess I'm a bit rusty then," I say, holding Claire's gaze with a raised brow. In the glow of the fire, I see her cheeks flush and she looks away. Just then, the other men come and join us by the fire.

"You lot certainly smell better," Torva says and I can't tell if she is serious or joking. Noel gives her a slight jab in the ribs with an elbow.

Bastain reaches for my waterskin which I pass to him before saying, "Forgive us if we do not smell as sweet as your monks and priests, love."

Torva is about to open her mouth to retort, but Nik walks up, cutting her off. "Soup should be done, Here pass these out," he says, handing a stack of wooden bowls to Bastain and shooting him a look. He does and Nik takes a ladle, dishing out the steaming soup just as the sun sinks beneath the horizon.

When he fills mine, I immediately dig in, ignoring the hot broth as it burns my tongue. The rabbit, turkey, potatoes, and pepper form a medley of flavors.

Over the next half hour, we eat, drink, and chat—even having enough left over for seconds.

"That was delicious. Thank you," Claire says to Nik with a gentle smile. "I'll miss your cooking; your wife is a lucky lady."

Nik returns her smile and nods. "It's one of the few ways I can repay her for keeping up with the house and the children. Besides, I find joy in cooking."

Uriah then lets out a loud guest of air from his rear and we laugh even though Torva shoots him a look of disgust. He only waves her off which causes her stand up and stomp towards her tent. Another hour crawls by, then another until it's only Noel, Claire, Markus, and myself left by the flickering flames. The soup and ale has left me feeling warm and content, and I lay on my back with my right shoulder nearest to the fire.

The remaining three talk of their lives before the war and I listen, gazing up at the stars above when Claire stands up and announces she is going to find a spot to relieve herself. She spares a glance in my direction and clears her throat. "Thomas, would you mind coming with me to hold the torch?"

I see Markus smirk as I nod, sitting up. He reaches for an unlit torch and holds it into the fire, lighting it ablaze before passing it to me. "Thanks," I mutter, dusting off my trousers. I motion for Claire to lead the way and I follow her into the foods, still barefoot.

We say nothing as she searches for a good spot and when she stops, I turn my back towards her, giving her privacy.

"I don't have to use the bathroom," she says, breaking our silence.

With my back still turned, my face twists into confusion. "You don't?"

She chuckles softly and I turn around, facing her. "No. I figured if you weren't going to seek me out then I'd have to take matters into my own hands."

Sighing, I rub the back of my neck. "You mean, to talk? About what you wanted to a few days ago?"

She nods and nervously begins playing with her braid. "Aye. I mean—yes," she says. "Is that alright?"

"Aye," I say, emphasizing the word. I find it amusing how she unwittingly used our word. "But perhaps not out here in the middle of the woods? We can go to my tent if you'd like."

She quickly shakes her head. "No, no tents. I don't want to give the wrong idea..." she trails. I want to remind them that not only did we share a tent for weeks—or that I slept on her floor in Lagras—but that my men don't care. Still, I try to respect her wishes and come up with a solution. "Fine. How about by the creek? There're some large rocks we could sit on."

"Okay," is all she says, so I lead the way through the woods until we reach the creek I bathed at hours before. Surrounding the creek are small boulders and I take a seat atop of one. Claire climbs up next to me and I scoot over a few inches allowing her room. Even then though, our shoulders touch ever so slightly. I wedge the torch in between the boulder adjacent from us and look up at the moon. It's reflection slowly moves on the creeks surface and in the far distance crickets sing.

"I don't know what to say or how to start," she begins. Moments of silence pass and I begin wondering if she expects me to say something when she lets out an exhale. "I don't want to go to Riverton, but I feel like I must. Like it's my duty, somehow. If that makes any sense."

"More than you know," I reply. I don't want to take a bride when I return. I don't want a loveless marriage. I don't want to visit my father's grave. I don't want to be king. "My father would say that we do what must be done."

From the corner of my eye I see Claire nod and look down, fiddling with her hands in her lap. "If things we're different and I never made vows to the church, I want you to know that I would've come back with you to Paevia. I think I would've been very happy with you," she says.

I shut my eyes as they begin to sting and inhale. "I can't begin to tell you how much I'd want that for us," I say. "But I meant it when I said I respect your decision to stay in Riverton. I know that it wasn't an easy one to make and I shouldn't be so hard on you for it. I'm sorry."

She turns to me, her eyes slightly glistening, and gives me a smile. "May I hold your hand?"

"Take me to dinner first, jeeze," I say, flashing my teeth at her. I then take her hand in mine and rub my thumb over the soft pale skin of her hand. I want to tell her that I love her but instead say, "I'll miss you."

She leans over, resting her head on my shoulder and wipes at her face. "I'll miss you too Thomas."

We sit like this for a while, enjoying the company of each other on a comfortable silence. I watch the black water flow slowly in the darkness where the torch light doesn't reach and remember...

"So," I begin, the corner of my lips tugging upwards. "Did you get a good look earlier?"

Claire shoots up and turns to look at me with a horrified expression. "I-I-that wasn't-I" she stutters, trying to form words.

I smirk and give my head a shake, "Hey I'm not complaining. I just assumed...otherwise...given you're a woman of the cloth is all." Her face heats up and she goes to stand up but I grip her hand. "Don't! I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm just saying, well, that I didn't mind. I liked it."

Her round face darkens another shade of red and she presses her full lips together before letting out an exasperated sigh. "I'm human and it's something I'll have to repent for later tonight. I couldn't help myself. Yes I've seen men naked—that tends to happen when you act as a healer overtime—but," she says, looking over at me. Her blue eyes appear steel grey in the dim light. "I think that was the first time I ever wanted to look at a man. Wanted...things further than a kiss," she admits.

I stiffen in my trousers again and look down before giving a grunt. I never wanted someone as badly as I have Claire, but she is forbidden fruit. "I think it's best we go to bed," I say gruffly.

Claire's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Why? I'm not tired yet." Rubbing my tongue over the ridge of my teeth, I look down and she follows my gaze. "Oh," she says softly, "I'm sorry."

"If not, I'll keep you out in these woods all night kissing you and that probably wouldn't help saying goodbye to each other any easier," I say, standing up still holding her hand.

She gives a nod and allows me to lead her back to camp, stopping in front of her tent. Sparing one look at the fire, she stands on her tip toes and places her hands around my neck, pulling me down until our lips brush against my own. I'm immediately aware of her supple breasts against my chest and I once feel a disturbance in my trousers. Claire pulls away and bites her lip. "I suppose I'll add that to the list of things I need to repent for today," she says before ducking inside her tent.

Taking a steadying breath, I'm thankful no one was still by the fire upon our return and slink inside my tent, removing my shirt. I'm still hard and tempted to take care of it myself but sigh and roll over, shutting my eyes and going to sleep.

Sorry for the somewhat spicy ending to this chapter, I know I haven't written a lot of that type of stuff in this story so i hope it goes over well. Also, YAY ANOTHER CHAPTER SO SOON