Between Desire and Denial: Chapter 11

The silence in the room was so loud I might have asked for headphones had I not wanted to witness my stepmother’s obvious discomfort.

She floundered for a whole second before she straightened and smoothed her black work pants. “Oh, so no niceties, I guess? You want to just jump right into your theatrics? Because I don’t. I’m not in the mood today. I’m not going to tolerate you being emotional for no reason while you’re visiting me.”

“I’m not visiting you. You were too busy, remember? I’m visiting Knox. And obviously there’s something wrong.”

“Honestly,” she huffed and turned toward the fridge like my questions were all too much for her. “Why is your first reaction to think something’s even wrong?”

“Is that a joke? Have you looked at him? Two years ago, he was twice the size he is now and—”

“So he lost some weight.” She shrugged. “I wish I could lose a few pounds.” Her canned laugh skittered around the kitchen, and I stood there in shock as I took in the clean counters, the expensive art on the walls, and the fancy table settings even though no one would be coming to dinner.

“This isn’t a joke about weight, Georgette. I’m asking you about my brother. What’s wrong?” I whispered, trying my best not to scream at her.

She rolled her eyes again and turned to the cabinet I knew was full of liquor. “I guess you’re going to make me deal with this instead of your father. In that case, I’ll opt for liquor.”

She took a swig of pure vodka before she got a glass out to pour more than two fingers. My stepmother didn’t drink hard liquor except at home where she could hide how she downed it. She poured me a glass, too, and slid it my way.

I crossed my arms, not willing to drink with her. “Tell me what’s going on.”

She scoffed like I was being ridiculous. “How about nothing? Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill. Jesus, why are you always so dramatic?”

“This is concern, not dramatics,” I clarified without raising my voice, though it shook with rage.

“You were always too concerned.” She waved me off. “Was it those theatre classes and programs we allowed you to stay in after your mother passed? And then you would write those books with so much drama in them, I wondered what was wrong with you.”

“No need to wonder anymore. I’ve been gone, living on my own for years.”

“Exactly. You’ve been gone, and we’ve been living here as a family without you while you flounce around with that Keelani girl doing God knows what and wearing those stupid flowers in your hair.” She waved at the small plumeria I had behind my ear.

I’d confided in her once that it felt like a connection to my mother, that I enjoyed having a bright color in my life even on a gloomy day. I offered her one once, but she’d wrinkled her nose and told me they would look immature on her as a lawyer. And since that day, she’d reminded me of her disdain for them.

Still, I took the high road because it wasn’t about us today. “Kee has provided me with a lot of opportunities, Georgette. It was a college job that allowed me to travel. I wanted to see the world. You know that. So if we could focus on Knox—’

“What real opportunities? You come back here after two years to tell us what? Did you even get that ridiculous degree you were so obsessed with because one professor thought you showed promise?”

Her words were pointed and cruel. They hit fast and precise too. I remembered how she’d laughed at me that night when I’d told them all I was changing my major. It was the night I knew I wouldn’t be back to visit. “I’m working on it.” My confidence shrank as I answered her.

“Great. You’re working on becoming a journalist. God. Don’t you realize you have a status to uphold as a Monroe? Your father is a major player in Hollywood. That makes you part of it too,” she grumbled into her tumbler before rounding the island to go sit on the barstool. “We raised you to be so much more than this. Then, you come to a party and announce you’re changing majors.”

“I was doing what I wanted for once. What my mother had always told me to do.”

“Your mother,” she scoffed. “As if I didn’t have a hand in raising you up to what you should become.”

“Raising me? My mother raised me, Georgette.” I wouldn’t take away that credit ever.

Georgette’s eyes narrowed, and they burned with that evil fire I knew she had in her. “Your father should have smacked you harder across your face the night you left. You were always ungrateful, and here you are, bringing her up in my house. Being ungrateful again.”

And that’s where the problem has always lied with us. I wouldn’t erase the memory of my mother. Ever. “This is her mother’s house, actually.” I raised my chin, ready to go to war with her, but then I held up my hands. “You know what? It doesn’t matter right now. Nothing matters but my brother. I’m not here to get into it with you.”

She flexed her thin fingers on the tumbler before she downed all that was in her glass. Then, she reached for mine. “Fine. Then, leave. Call your father about Knox. He’s the one running around with him half the time. I only took Knox to the doctor for his anxiety because your father was busy.”

“Dad was busy?” I deadpanned. Of course he was. Busy like he was when Mom got sick too.

“He’s taken much more of an interest in Knox as of late. They have actually been working on business outside of Paradise Grove.”

“What type of business?” My father had always been very involved in the film industry, but he made time for nothing else.

“Well, that’s not your concern. They’re providing for this household.” She said it so fast and in a high-pitched voice. I narrowed my eyes to try and find the lie. Something wasn’t right as I watched her smoothing her hair like she was irritated that I’d even ask. “Plus, it’s good for your brother to make connections in high places. Networking helps with success.”

“But with who? And if it’s the wrong sort of people, and he’s acting like this—”

“You think your father wouldn’t have your brother’s best interests at heart? Also the doctors prescribed this dosage.” She justified it again, as if his temperament was fine as long as doctors were involved. “We have worked on it, and we have balanced everything.”

“That’s not balanced.” I pointed upstairs, fury in my voice as I said it.

“How would you know?” She rolled her eyes and poured herself more vodka. “You haven’t been around.”

“I’ve … been working.” It wasn’t a good enough excuse. I knew that. I took a deep breath as I settled on what I knew had to be done. “But he needs someone.” He needed support. He needed a family. He needed our mom.

But she wasn’t there. And I couldn’t bring her back. All I could offer was myself.

“Well, he’s got his friends and us.” Georgette checked her watch, making it obvious she wanted me gone. “Anyway, if you’re waiting to see your father, you won’t.”

“Knox’s also got me. I’ll be here.” I was going to make sure I’d be here whether he wanted me to be or not. I chewed my cheek as I stared at the stairs.

Georgette didn’t seem to care about the proclamations I was making. “Whatever. I need to get back to work. So you need to leave. And don’t go bother Knox with a goodbye. He’s quiet, which means he’s asleep. Next time, call before you come over too. Unannounced visits aren’t best for our family.” She waved me toward the front door, making it clear she didn’t feel I belonged in that family of hers.

I didn’t. And my brother didn’t either.

I wiped away the tears forming in my eyes and told myself I needed a new plan. Suddenly I’d discovered the roots I’d had in Paradise Grove were all tangled up and buried deeper than I realized as I thought of my brother being a shell of a human here in this place. I wouldn’t leave him here.

Not again.

I tried not to talk to a single person on the way back to Dimitri’s. I stalked down the sidewalk, passing a couple of homes with my head down, but I was just one house away when I heard, “Olive Bee? That really you? You’re back?”

I winced before looking up and seeing Jameson standing on the porch of the house next to Dimitri’s.

“I go just by Olive now, Jameson.”

He chuckled that familiar laugh that used to give me butterflies. “Aw, well.” He shook his head like he wasn’t going to listen. He was a few years older than me, but we’d always found a way to hang out when we were young, and then we sniffed around one another as we got older. He’d come back from college for my mother’s funeral and walked with me for hours that day, telling me leaving home would be the best thing I could do if that’s what my mom had wanted for me.

“You finally home to stay?” He lifted a dark eyebrow that matched his almost jet-black hair.

“For a while.” I crossed my arms and rocked back on my heels before I saw a little girl come running full speed out of the house. She didn’t even hesitate when she got to the porch stairs, and I gasped just as Jameson caught her in his arms without even turning his head.

The smile that spread across Jameson’s face showed me that he was attached to her. “She’s practicing being a flying squirrel.”

“Oh.” I didn’t really know what to say. Jameson with a kid was surprising enough, and him being responsible was even more so. “You have a daughter.”

He smiled big. “I do have a daughter, Olive Bee.” He looked down at the girl with his same jet-black hair and said, “This here is Olive, Franny. We call her Olive Bee sometimes because her middle name is Bee after bumblebees.”

“She’s no bee, Daddy.” She glanced at me. “I’m Franny. I’m four.”

“That’s very nice.” I nodded, wanting to back away. I wasn’t good with children, wasn’t even good with my younger brother.

“Olive Bee, you okay?”

“I’m …” The question brought tears to my eyes, but I couldn’t fall apart on the street. “I’m fine. Just catching up with everything that’s been happening here.”

“A lot has changed.” He said it with a heaviness as he stared over at my family’s house.

“Yeah. None of it feels right.” I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Just watch where you’re digging. You know how Paradise Grove is.” He said it lightly, but there was a hint of truth in his tone that I caught.

My gut feeling of something being wrong grew, but I held the idea close to my chest. “A lot has changed. Too much.” I sighed. “But I’m back. So, maybe we’ll see how I end up fitting in here now, huh?”

“You won’t fit in with that Hardy here with you. He’s got no idea what it takes to build up a community like ours.” He chuckled. “How did you get tangled up with him?”

“Same circles, I guess.” I shrugged. We’d have to get our story straight if I was staying.

“No one likes that condo building, the idea of that office structure, or the strip mall he’s trying to get passed.”

I smiled softly, trying to appear positive, like a nice girlfriend would. “It’ll all work out. I wouldn’t let him put anything here that would be bad for us.”

“Why not?” He smirked at me. “We used to hate this place.”

“Yeah, well, we’re both back, right?”

“I never really left,” he admitted and looked at his daughter like he was contemplating if this was the right place to raise her. “You got any plans to leave that Hardy in the dust so I can really stall his building plans?”

I sighed and shrugged. “You all love to give a newcomer a hard time.”

“Truthfully, I’m going to give anyone who’s dating you a hard time. I thought you’d come back for me one day.”

I hummed. “Maybe you’ll give him a chance for me then?”

“We’ll see.” He winked, and I waved at him as I walked toward what I’d decided was going to be my new home for the summer.

I contemplated my stepmother’s words as I made my way up our driveway, and when I swung open the door, Dimitri was sitting in the living room, working like he wasn’t at all concerned that I’d left for an hour. “Getting your luggage packed now?”

“I’m staying,” I announced to him. “All summer. What do you need me to do?”