CH. 6 Confusing words

Hi :-))) So, here is chapter 6 and in just few days after ch. 5...well, I had the time to write and also wanted to update to thank you for your awesome support!!!

Hope you'll enjoy it, let me know as usual! It came out quite long, but there were things to write and somehow couldn't make it shorter ^.^

It's dedicated to all the fans and readers of this story, thank you guys, and then in particular to ZeJared to thank you for your message and comments!

On the right, a picture of Nicholas Lucas, Jasper's older brother --> Justin Hartley

Enjoy xox

JASPER POV

Oh boy, what was I thinking about when I agreed with that? Dinner with his family?

I was already hyperventilating here, just with his mother and his father was even not present. Oh boy, his father. I have heard quite a lot about him, Dima clearly is fond and attached to his parents, but how would he take me? Maybe he wasn’t as open as his son and wife. What if he had something against gay? Oh boy, shouldn’t even think about that. No wait, that cannot be possible, because they are friends with River’s family and met also Travis for new years’ eve, so no, maybe not. Uhm, need seriously to relax and calm down a bit here, but it wasn’t an easy task.

Nope, not one bit easy.

Dima and I were playing again with his new video game and it was cool and nice and chuckled remembering he told me how he still wasn’t good at that, because, uhm, that was so true. So far I had scored far better than him and he would curse or grunt any time, but then asked me how I did it. Uhm, sometimes I had no idea myself how. I simply was good at playing video games. Uhm well, at least I was good at something, but it wasn’t what mother sure had in mind.

I sighed and mentally face palmed; why did I have to depress myself every time thinking about her?

I had called home and she actually answered and was about to order my butt back home and not in a nice and sweet way, but Mrs. Denisov intercepted the phone and winked at me and then talked to mother. No idea how she did it, but mum changed her mind and had the guts to tell me to have fun, since I was really beginning to make proper and distinguished friends, appropriate for our family status. Oh boy, how much I hated the words “appropriate” and “status”. She was so fixated with the name of our family and only because father came from an old and famous family that owned for generations a financial institute. Mother had as well had quite famous background and their marriage had nothing to do with love; it had been arranged and thought of each other more of business partners, rather than husband and wife. Uhm, well, not sure about my dad, we never really talked much; I sure knew he was disappointed I turned out gay and blamed me at first for Nic.

Dima suddenly cursed out loud and my head snapped back automatically, since I wasn’t now paying much attention to the game. He had creased brows in a comical crossed face, threatening the joystick; I began to laugh quite loud at his expression and that made him turn towards me and look at me with a perplexed face.

“Oh boy, when you are angry in that way, you look super funny.” I said between laughs and giggles.

“Do I? Man, this game is killing me. How come you are this good?” He pointed at our different scores and I just shrugged my shoulders, I had no idea myself.

“Don’t know, uhm, maybe it’s my only talent.” I ventured.

“Only talent? Jas what you talking about? You have thousands of talents. Yeah man, actually why you always think so little of yourself? I bet it’s because of that stuck up family you have.” He shook his head and then turned back, raising his hands and waving them. “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend your family, I just remembered what you told me about them and sure your mum isn’t the sweetest one out there, but hey, sorry. I’m just saying loads of crap.” He grinned.

“No, it’s ok, I don’t take it as an offence. It’s true they’re, uhm, stuck-up and well, pompous. Boy, she likes Travis only because he’s Michelle’s son and same for you and your family, only because apparently they know your father’s business. Mother especially is a huge snob and cannot stand her most of the time. She always stresses me with etiquette, manners and things like that…even during breakfast.” I sighed and dropped back on the floor, staring at the ceiling.

Then his smiling and handsome face popped in front of me and quite close, making me blush and cough out of embarrassment.

“Sounds like a nightmare to have to mind manners even at breakfast. That would drive me completely nuts. See, you have many talents, as I said.”

“I, uhm, well, I don’t think so, but…thank you I guess. In some things you’re similar to Travis.”

“Oh well I suppose both of us are quite out-going, but in what else do you think we are similar? ‘Cause sure I’m not such a horn dog, hmm, maybe I am. Girls never complained about that, but got slapped more than once for my lack of romance and tact.” He burst out laughing and didn’t know what to do, if to laugh with him picturing the sort of comic situation of a girl slapping someone as huge as Dima or to cry thinking about him with a girl.

Boy, it’s so complicated and depressing sometimes to be friend with the guy you like.

“Uhm, they seriously slapped you?” Couldn’t believe it and the question just blurted out loud.

“Yeah, can you believe it? They can be such a pain in the neck sometimes, especially if you forget a particular date or confuse a name or whatever else. Most in our school are just attracted by the fact I’m one of the smartass hockey players, that I have muscles and a babe for car.” He shrugged his broad shoulders and leaned back beside me, resting the weight of his body on the elbow, still staring at me with smiling eyes.

“Uhm, well, it’s not nice if you mix names, that’s actually quite, uhm, sorry to say it, but rude.”

I blushed for what I just said and then apologized again, because I sure didn’t mean to judge him or anything. I knew he was a wonderful guy, just with a short memory for names, which made him even more funny.

Boy, was I gone for Dima.

“Hey, relax Jas. You could send me to hell and I couldn’t care less. I mean, I wouldn’t mind it. Seriously, tell me whatever you want, no need to worry it might offend me.  I know it’s not nice sometimes, but hey, don’t care much about it, but you wanna know something funny? I remembered your name at first.” A wider and carefree grin spread on his face as if the idea amused him. That actually, uhm, shocked me. Did he really remember such a, uhm, thing? “Aside it’s almost impossible to annoy me, with you it’s another story man.”

Again, here we go again.

He…he had no idea what his words meant for me and how they felt like a constant teasing, confusing me and my thoughts, my feelings and giving me hope a moment and destroying it the following one. Boy, I had no idea what to do about this whole situation. The more I spent time with Dima, the more I crushed for him and liked him more than bearable.

“What do you mean with me it’s another story?” Oh boy, what had I just asked? Oh boy, will he think something is fishy here? Oh boy…what couldn’t I keep my mouth shut??

“Don’t know exactly how to explain it, you know I suck in this stuff, but it’s like with my friends and at the same time different. I mean, we have the same carefree and open friendship and I trust you and like spending time with you, just like with my best buddies, but you have something else. You’re quiet, calm, relaxing, never get mad at me for my lack of tact, if I get angry and you’re around I smooth down immediately, like before.”

He said such things with his usual smiling and easy-going face, as if he was talking about a match of hockey. I had to concentrate very hard to not blush more than probably I already was and had keep telling myself to not stare like a silly daydreamer at his beautiful eyes and strong face, at his full and smiling lips and broad shoulders and chest. And that, uhm, was quite a hard task.

“Uhm, well, i-it’s ni-nice to, uhm, hear that.” I stuttered and shifted my gaze elsewhere.

Oh boy, I so needed to talk to Travis, but I couldn’t now, since I wasn’t alone and anyway I think he was with Alex right now and sure didn’t want to interrupt them. There, I blushed just at the thought of them together.

My phone rang and I jumped out of my skin and Dima chuckled and pushed himself up. I checked the ID and saw it was my best friend. Boy, we really were psychic.

“Hey Jasper cutie, how is it going? Have I interrupted something?” I bet he was smirking, then I heard someone beside him. It was Alex.

“Uhm, Travis what are you talking about?” I was now sweating bullets and eyed Dima, hoping he wouldn’t understand or hear our conversation. He simply grinned and told me to say hi to my friend. “He says hi.”

“How sweet of him, so you are still there? Staying over for dinner?” He paused and sort of gasped and made a strange noise. “Baby I’m talking to Jasper…” I heard Alex on the other side. “Jas, is Dima there?”

“Yep, he is. Do you want to talk to him?”

“No thank you, just tell him the coach called before and said we have extra training tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

“Cutie, is everything ok?”

“Yep, don’t worry.”

“Did you see...him?” Oh, I see now. He was worried for me; I smiled and felt like hugging him.

“Uhm, yes, but I’ll tell you tomorrow.”

He didn’t say anything for few seconds.

“Well, I trust that dense moron over there, so I know there is nothing to worry about. In case, I’ll kick his sorry ass. So let’s talk tomorrow, cutie.”

“Sure.” Dima waved and guess he meant to say bye to them. “Uhm, also Dima says bye.”

“Tell him to wake up and wake up soon.” I widened my eyes and then simply chuckled. It was pointless to counter debate; he would anyway gain the last word.

I turned and smiled at Dima and remembered what Alex told me.

“Alex said that the coach called earlier and that tomorrow you all have extra practice.”

“Man, I know what he means for extra practice. He’ll wipe our sorry asses.” He groaned and ruffled his blond hair with both hands. “Hey, you coming to see our match this week?”

“Yep, with Travis.”  I thought then about Kevin. Maybe he would like to come as well with us, I was sure he enjoyed Travis and Derek’s company. “I’ll ask Kevin, I think he never saw the team playing and maybe he’ll like it.”

He looked at me with a puzzled and taken aback expression, then creased his brows and studied my face. Uhm, he really didn’t like much my classmate, but well, they just met.

“Walker Texas Ranger?” He asked.

“What?” How he called Kevin? Oh my, I just burst out laughing like some silly lunatic and when I saw his face, I laughed even more. Only Dima could come up with such a nickname, if you could uhm, consider that a nickname. “Oh boy, you’re so hilarious Dima.”

“The force is with me.” He smirked and mimicked a Jedi.

His mother knocked at the door and then came in, looking at us with a warm and kind smile.

“I see you are having fun, boys. Dinner is almost ready and your dad just came back.”

Dima’ father, Yevgeny Denisov, was a sturdy, intimidating, but elegant man with short graying hair and piercing light-blue eyes that looked almost unnatural. He was as tall as his sons, but didn’t have a constant grin or smile on his face, rather a composed and hard expression and when he was standing there in front of me, shaking my hand, for a moment I wanted to turn on my heels and ran away. Boy, he was sure intimidating with that hard and serious face, as if he was dissecting me and my brain, with his squared features and bone-crashing grip. The line of his nose was less angular, but equally strong looking.

But, uhm, it was mostly just the first appearance, because he wasn’t a cold or distant person, nor a strict and severe father given the way he interacted openly with his son, patting his shoulder with evident affection and pride.

“It’s a pleasure t-to me-meet you, Mr. Denisov, I am Jasper Lucas.” I had a hard time to control my tension and stuttering. I didn’t want to sound stupid or silly.

“Nice to meet you, too Jasper. Please, consider our house as your house and make yourself comfortable.” He had a hard and low voice, a typical business like tone, but again, it wasn’t cold or distant; he really meant what he said, it wasn’t just polite protocol. “Are you by any chance the younger son of Edward Lucas?”

“Yes, sir. That is my father.” Oh boy, he really knew my family.

“I had the pleasure once to consult your father’s company for my business and I have to say they really advised me the best solution.” He scratched his chin and softly smiled. Boy, he sure was a handsome man and I could tell Dima and Anatoly took his features from him.

“Thank you sir.”

“Please, why don’t you just call me Yevgeny? All of my son’s friends do it.”

“Dad, don’t push Jasper too much.” He was now right beside me and he grinned down and placed a hand on my shoulder. I tried to smile back, but I was still sweating bullets here and the intense stare his father was giving us didn’t help at all.

“Sorry Jasper, do call me as you prefer. I don’t wish to make you feel uncomfortable.” He smiled another time and then went to see his wife in the kitchen.

“So, what do you think of dad? He seems scaring at first, because of his way of looking at people and because he rarely smiles, but hey, he did it twice with you.”

“Uhm, well, I think I like your family…they all seem very warm and uhm, friendly.”

“That’s great man, c’mon. Mum is awesome in the kitchen.”

His family had a big and elegant house with many rooms, but I could see they enjoyed having family meals in the privacy and intimacy of the kitchen, where they could seat close around a nice wooden table and have everything at hand, not needing someone bringing your stuff. It was the same for Travis and Michelle; we even had dinner once just sitting on the carpet of the living room. So different from my house.

When we entered the room, I froze. His parents were tenderly hugging and kissing, and from the first impression Mr. Denisov gave me, I would have never thought he was the loving type of husband; but he really was. Boy, they clearly loved each other; their marriage hadn’t been arranged for sure.

“Mum, dad will you drop it please? I already have to witness Sasha in school exploring Travis’s tonsils.” He mocked an upset and gagging face, but that was just a joke.

I think he was, uhm, used to that. I sure wasn’t used to any of that and I felt like intruding in their privacy, so my eyes darted away quickly and pretended to find the fridge very interesting.

“Son, will you try once in a while to first filter what you say?” His father simply arched his brow and kept his arms around his wife’s waist.

“Zhenya honey, need to finish with the stew here. Why don’t you sit down with them?”

They were speaking English and I could tell it wasn’t the natural thing to do between them, but I was grateful they did it for me. As I said before, here it was possible to breathe a welcoming and familiar atmosphere.

“Jasper, is there something in particular you do not like or do not eat?” Mrs. Denisov asked me.

“No, thank you.” My voice was still a bit uncertain, but tried to sound more confident. “May I help you, Mrs. Denisov?”

“Oh you’re such a sweetheart, thank you. Don’t worry about it, everything is ready, just sit down and relax.”

Dima leaned down and whispered something in my ear, his lips briefly brushed my skin. My breath caught in the throat and I gulped to swallow down what came over me.

Oh boy, what was that?

I suddenly felt like melting on the spot, and not for shyness; my hairs rose as if they were electrocuted and I felt a strong shiver running down my spine. Something knotted in my stomach and I unconsciously hoped to feel it once more. Oh boy…what was that? I-I need to calm down.

“Don’t you think so?” He asked, but I had no idea what he was talking about.

“Wh-what?” I breathed out, afraid of betraying my inner state.

“What’s up buddy? You were sort of spacing out before.” Oh please tell me he didn’t notice anything weird. “I said, mum likes you very much.” He grinned and I thank God he didn’t see anything out of place.

“Uhm, well, I like her, too.”

His father asked me few things about my father’s activity and then about my brother. He also asked about school and whether I liked sports and when I said hockey was now interesting me, something lit brighter his face. He was more than simply proud for his son and his talent, he didn’t need to say it, because it was all over his face and confessed he loved to see Dima playing hockey and then he mentioned Anatoly. When he mentioned him, his face darkened and tensed, almost looking older. Uhm, I see. It wasn’t true they gave up on their son; they had no idea anymore what to do about it.

“Tolya isn’t interested in hockey, but in bike racing. He has talent, but…he is wasting it.” He sighed and I peeked at Dima, who tried his best to fake a blank expression. Uhm, he was bad at that, he wasn’t able to conceal his thoughts. “Speaking of the devil, where is he now? Why isn’t he home yet? It’s late.”

Dima didn’t utter a word and his mother stopped stirring the stew. Mr. Denisov grunted something in Russian and then marched to the phone and I guess he called his other son; his tone was severe and hard, but he sure was worried.

DMITRI POV

I looked at mum and she clearly loved Jasper at first sight. Oh well, who wouldn’t? Even dad immediately liked him and he sure wasn’t someone easy to take well people at first. Jas was someone you just wanted to pet and cuddle, always blushing over the smallest thing and worrying about everything. I wished to kick his parents’ ass for the way they treated him, but it wasn’t my place to do it. The way they pressured him, especially that Marine’s sergeant of his mother, created only stress to him and made him think he wasn’t anything special, just a common person. Stuck up snobs.

I bent down to whisper him something and in the motion my lips someone brushed his ear.  Wow. What was that?

I felt a sudden ticklish sensation going down my arms and back and I knew it too well to ignore it. It was as if a chick had slowly stroked my skin with soft and light fingers; it wasn’t tickle and it was similar to what I felt earlier when he brushed my hair, only that time it calmed me down. But I asked him to do it again because I truly liked it; it was a light and pleasant feeling. Now was different, though. It was more…damn, exciting.

Man, what the hell am I saying here?

Did I let those two horn dogs influence me too much?

Because this wasn’t normal. For crying out loud, I was straight and here I was saying that a dude just gave me goose bumps? Ok, ok…wait a moment. We are not talking about a random guy, but about Jasper and he sure had something different, but ... hey, what the hell am I saying? Ok, my head had enough thinking for today; let’s just forget it for now.

I asked him something else, because he clearly didn’t hear me before and he looked at me in a strange way. He seemed shocked, something was wrong? I damn hoped not.

“Uhm, well, I like her, too.” He murmured, looking away and fidgeting over something I had no clue about.

Dad began to talk to him about business; right, there we go now. Jasper actually surprised me, because even if he was nervous, he talked to dad without munching words or blushing and knew actually lots of crap about his father’s job. Awesome. Then he said the magic word: hockey, and the old man was gone. Which reminded me of what he said before. Why he had to ask to Walker Texas Ranger to come as well? People in Texas bet are only interested in rodeos and anyway, the Rangers wiped their buts last week.

Then of course the idea and worry for that twisted bastard had ruined the mood and atmosphere, making my parents tense. Right, dad said he wanted him out of here once he had his diploma, but I knew it cost him saying that. The truth was he had no idea anymore what to do with my brother, how to deal with his shit, because he had tried everything in his power and didn’t want to go down hard and legally. I didn’t know if he still had hope for that piece of crap, but mum sure did. Right now I wished to smash his stupid face, just for how he turned against all of us and why anyway he did that? He had no damn reason. Argh…thinking about him gave me damn stomach and head ache.

I heard dad arguing with him on the phone, in Russian obviously and by his tone, I bet things weren’t rosy.

“What time do you think it is?” He hissed. “You better come back home in no more than fifteen minutes, because I know you took the bike.”

“You listen to me, Tolya? Come back right now and that’s my final word. Do you have an idea how your mother worries about you?”

“What’s that supposed to me? Speak clearly.” He clenched his fist and his face grew darker. Man, he was about to snap. “Anatoly Yevgenich Denisov, come back home right now and that’s my last warning.” He paused a moment. “Oh no, I will not bother the police with your ridiculous gang, but I shall order Oleg to come after you.”

Oleg. Man, that dude was really scaring. He was dad’s personal assistant and had a dangerous look that would intimidate even the bravest guy. It wasn’t someone to make your enemy, that was for sure. But hey, he was extremely loyal to dad and our family, so nothing bad to say about the dude.

Dad slammed down the phone and for a moment I thought I would hear him curse for breaking it, but nothing like that happened.

“He’ll be back soon.” He said that to mum, which smiled relieved and went back cooking.

The bastard indeed came back after a reasonable short time, knowing it wasn’t the case to overly provoke dad. He showed his face in the kitchen and eyed again Jasper, which turned into a sweating statue; I didn’t like the way he looked at him, probably remembering something, and I warned him with dark and angry glare to leave him alone. We stared at each other for few seconds and mum tensed, worried we would snap and fight, but he spun back and went to leave the room.

“Where are you going, Tolya? Dinner is ready, why don’t you seat with us?” Mum asked him.

“Not fucking hungry.” He grunted in Russian giving us his back.

“Anatoly Denisov, mind your words when you speak to your mother.” Dad ordered with threatening tone. He hated when someone lacked respect to mum.

“Whatever. Now I am home, so don’t damn annoy me with such crap.” He left and probably went to his room.

Dad clenched his jaws and saw how mum softly touched his hand, trying to calm him down. He took a deep breath and recomposed his usual granitic face.

“Jasper, I do apologize for what happened.” Dad didn’t add another extra word, because he thought it wasn’t the case to bother a guest with our own problems. But he didn’t know that the bastard dared to beat Jas.

Man, just thinking about it made me want to run the stairs, go find him in his damn room and beat him to a bloody pulp. When last month Sasha lost it and beat those pieces of junk sending them to the hospital, I somehow understood how he felt, even though I knew it wasn’t the same. That didn’t change the fact that if anyone would dare again to create problems to Jasper, I would gladly see the idiot privately.

Jasper simply shook his head and tried a smile, but he was still a bit shaken from seeing my twin. Mum looked at him and then at me, sensing something was out of place and I simply shrugged; it wasn’t the moment to bring up such a topic, didn’t want to over stress Jas and made dad tenser than he already was.

We ate for a while in silence, and then Jasper surprised me by complimenting mum’s cooking and breaking the tense atmosphere.

“This is delicious, Mrs. Denisov. It’s the best stew I have ever had.”

“Thank you, Jasper. Glad you enjoy my cuisine, so now you have to come over more often.”

Jas almost choked with a bite of his food and I cracked out laughing my head off. He blushed and somehow munched a “thank you”. Dad eyed me as if studying me and my laughing, his granitic face softening.

“Oh, now that I think about it, I have a wonderful idea. Zhenya dear, didn’t we plan to go to Aspen next weekend? I think also my sister wants to go.”

Right man, we were planning to go back to our house there, to enjoy once more the snow. I loved snowboarding and beat my cousin at that.

“Yes darling, we did. What’s the idea you have?”

She turned her head to Jasper and smiled from ear to ear. Man, I guessed immediately her idea and I couldn’t wait to see his reaction.

“Jasper, come with us to Aspen. We have a nice house there and I am sure you will have fun. I can call personally your parents, if you prefer.”

He looked at her speechless and blushing, not knowing what to say. What was to say other than yes? We would have such great fun and I would teach him snowboard, but I am sure he probably knew it, because of skateboarding.

“Uhm, thank you, this is very nice, uhm, but I-I don’t want to disturb or to..”

“Come Jas, mum’s right: we’ll have a hell of a fun there!” He needed a push and I honestly was happy she came out with that, because we would really have great time there.

“Yes, come Jasper.” She repeated.

“Well, uhm, thank you…I will ask my parents.”

JASPER POV

Dima drove me back and he kept talking no-stop about snowboarding and Aspen, saying he loved that place and that he couldn’t wait to go there. He said he went there during Christmas holidays and then once in January. I was still a bit confused and anyway had no idea what my parents, well uhm, what mother would say about it. Would she let me go without making problems? Boy, wasn’t very sure about that.

I didn’t know myself what to think over it. It sure meant spending more time with Dima and having fun together, but uhm, it wasn’t always easy and the fact was that I was scare at the idea of being alone with him; well, scared of my own reactions and his being that spontaneous didn’t help much in the matter. Oh boy, I really needed to talk to Travis about that and also to Nic.

“See you tomorrow Jas. Will your parents be decent tonight?” He asked, stopping the car.

“Yep, they’re not home. I think they had some fancy and business dinner.”

“That’s cool. So you coming to Aspen, right man?” He grinned and leaned over the steering wheel. Boy, he looked so good with his team jacket. I sighed and sort of answered.

“It depends on my parents.” And that was true, yep.

I opened the door and went to hop off, but he stopped me grabbing my arm. Boy, today he was really trying to kill me.

“Jasper, sorry about Anatoly. I didn’t expect him to be home; next time I’ll be more careful, promise.” Next time? Did he plan to invite me over again? Oh boy, if that was it, I sure needed some strong sedative.

“It’s ok, Dima, told you before and nothing happened…” I paused a moment. “I don’t think he recognized me.”

“Yeah, he actually asked who you are.” He grunted and rolled his eyes. “Well, let’s forget about it, you have nothing to worry about.”

“I know.” I blurted out, without thinking. I shut immediately my mouth, hoping that didn’t sound too revealing or bold, but he smiled as if that pleased him and wished me good night.

I slumped on my bed, completely exhausted for the long day I had. A warm shower helped me to relax down a bit and then I decided to call my brother.

“Hey little brother, what a nice surprise. How are you?”

“Hi Nic, am I disturbing you? Are you at work?”

“Jasper, will you relax? I am not at work right now, having a break after a long and boring meeting. Tell me, how are things with your heart-throb?”

Oh boy, he knew about how I felt for Dima and said he wished to help me more, but couldn’t do much about it because knew too little Dmitri.

“We spent the entire day together and then his family invited me over for dinner. They’re very, uhm, nice and welcoming.”

“That is very good to know. You seem a bit restless, did something happen? Do I need to fly over there and beat that huge blonde bear?” Nic chuckled since it was a joke; I told him Dima was a wonderful person.

“Nope, nothing much. I-I…uhm, well, I am a bit confused.” I confessed murmuring.

“What do you mean by saying you’re confused? About your feelings?”

“No, no, boy no…I do really like him. It’s what he says and the way he acts with me that sometimes confuses me, that one moment gives me hope and then I realize it’s stupid of me to even just consider that.”

“Jasper, it’s not stupid, it is normal. When you are in love or even just when you really like someone, you always hope for the best and even the smallest and silliest thing makes your heart beat faster in expectation. Is he still that open around you? Casually touching you and leaning closer?”

“Uhm, yes…uhm, well, today he had an exchange with his brother and...”

“That bastard was there?”  Nic hissed angry and then sighed frustrated. He knew everything about it.

“Nic, calm down, nothing happened. He didn’t recognize me and Dima was there and so it’s everything ok.” He sighed another time and then told me to go on and said he was sorry he had interrupted me. “It’s ok. Uhm well, so after he had that exchange we went to his room and don’t know why, but I felt like calming him down and sat beside him and uhm…well…” I didn’t know how to say it and my face was now warming up and sure very red. I took a breath and fired it out in one word. “Ibrushedhishair.”

“You did what?” He softly chuckled. “Jas, you’re talking to me, you shouldn’t feel embarrassed.”

“Uhm, I know..it’ just that.. ok, well…I brushed his hair, like caressed them and uhm when I stopped, afraid he would mind it, he said he liked it and asked me to continue.”

Nic didn’t say anything for few seconds, probably thinking over what I told him.

“Listen, are you sure he really is completely straight? I don’t want to give you false hopes or say something that might be wrong, because I don’t know well enough Dmitri, but for a straight guy of eighteen years, well Jas, this is not something usual and common to say. Even for someone that easy-going and blunt. Usually guys don’t admit such things that freely or freak out if they claim to be straight; now, I know he is used to homosexual relations, given two of his best friends plus you are gay, but it’s still not usual. Jasper, I really don’t want to say something in which I might be wrong, but…Travis could be right.”

Yes, he knew also what Travis thought about the whole situation.

I didn’t say anything, because it was a lot to process and think about; Nic never said anything out of place or for the sake of saying it, because he was a rational and collected person that would think twice before speaking. What he said confused me even more and I was deadly afraid of beginning to really hope in something. Oh boy, I couldn’t do that, it would kill me. Dima liked girls. So, Jasper, don’t be silly. Oh boy…I needed to think about something else.

“Jasper, are you there? Did I upset you in some way? Sorry if I did.”

“Uhm, no, no…sorry, you didn’t upset me, Nic. It’s just that, uhm well, I don’t want to think about having chances, because it scares me. He is straight and he likes girls, so if I begin to hope for something and then it all crashes down, uhm, that will really hurt.”

“I understand you, Jasper. But you see, sometimes you need to jump, to challenge your fears and limits, especially when it comes to feelings. I am not saying you have to jump and do anything reckless, this is not you and I know it well. Please, just don’t let your worries ruin your good mood and cloud your mind.”

I knew he was right about the fact I shouldn’t let my thoughts and worries depress me, but it wasn’t easy, especially for someone that introvert and timid like me.

“Thank you Nic. You are such an amazing brother…I miss you.”

“It’s you the amazing brother, not me. I miss you, too and you know what? I think this weekend I might fly back home.”

“Oh boy, really?” I stood up on my bed and began to jump up and down in happiness. I haven’t seen him since Christmas.

“Yes.”

“Oh, you know what? Saturday they have a game so must come and see Dima playing! Also Travis will be there, because you know his boyfriend, Alex, is the captain of the team.” I was now giggling and still jumping. I couldn’t wait to see my brother.

“That sounds very interesting and if I remember well some other friends of yours play hockey.”

“Yep, also River and Hayden. Derek no, he plays basketball.”

“Yes, I remember. Well, guess I have to book a flight to be there on Friday night then.”

“Oh boy, so happy Nic! Can’t wait to see you!”

“Same for me, Jasper.” I heard someone calling him and he answered quickly back. “Now I have to go, sleep well and see you soon. Oh, Jas? Say hi to Travis.”

“Ok, I will. See you on Friday!”

I jumped down, bouncing on the bed again a couple of times and then lay down, staring at the ceiling and giggling happy at the thought of seeing soon my brother. He and Travis were opposite under many aspects, but the same under some others and both always knew what to say to make me feel better and smile.

Author's chit-chat:

Ok, let's make it clear: Anatoly is NOT the second rival. Ok?

Then, who is looking forward to a weekend in Aspen with Dima and Jasper? Did you guys get what was the surprise I was talking about in the last chapter? Actually, two of them...

Ok, next chapter...uhm well, ... I am not going to tell you ^.^ But I'll tell you one thing: will come out very soon!