Chapter IV

Something didn’t feel right. A voice deep in the back of my subconscious was telling me that something was wrong. Aside from my broken hand, everything was normal. Rowan had taken to his new job as pack leader quite well, and the kids were all fine and healthy. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn’t shifted in  a month, but that one nagging feeling had me feeling stressed nearly all the time.

Rowan and I were in the living room watching television when the phone rang. He got up to answer it, and looked angry when the person on the other line spoke. “What do you want, Cole?” He growled. He listened to what my brother had to say, and his expression turned worried. “Is she okay?” He waited. “How is it possible to hide it?” He paused again. “Okay, I’ll bring Runt with me.” He frowned when Cole spoke again. “He has a right to see his sister.” He argued and hung up.

“Is something wrong with Raven?” I asked as I stood and headed for the door, wanting to waste no time.

“She’s pregnant.”

~~~*~~~

We practically skidded into the dirt driveway of the Red Wing house where my brothers were waiting and hopped out of the car as fast as we could. Swift let us in and we followed him up to my sister’s room, where Raven lay on the bed in her dark grey wolf form.

“She’s too weak to shift back.” Swift explained. “Besides, the ultrasound predicts a litter of four or five, so we aren’t letting her take any risks of suddenly making the womb smaller in case they are crushed.”

“Who’s the father?” I asked.

Swift threw a glance at my hand then quickly looked at Rowan. “She say’s it’s you.” he said. “She told us you both got a little drunk at the initiation ceremony and by the time you came to your senses, it was already done.”

Alpha’s eyes widened and he sat next to her on the bed. “She’s not wrong...but...” Rowan said, trying to find the words.

I started to chew my lip. I didn’t like this. Alpha began to stroke Raven’s ear - something he’d done to me when I was having trouble with the pain in my paw - and I flushed red with anger. A quiet yet menacing rumble emitted from my chest and I excused myself from the room.

This was bound to happen eventually, right? Of course the sister of an alpha would become mates with the alpha of an allied pack. I hated it, though. Rowan was my alpha, and he was my...

What else was Rowan to me? Were we friends? He was awfully comforting when I first broke my hand. He saved me from being tormented by my brothers any more, and he cheered me up whenever I let the crybaby within me come out. He gave me

a place I could really call home; he gave me purpose.

I liked Rowan. What else could I say? I was jealous of Raven. All his affection would go from caring for me to caring for her and her pups.

I rubbed the rims of my eyes, not wanting anyone to see me cry - especially in this household.

I should be happy for the two of them. They were going to start a happy family together once the pups were born. They would get married and share a bed, and the kids would get the other room in the house. So where would I live? I could bunk with Aspen, Rowan’s younger brother, or I could move in with Willow and her family as a live-in nanny, but that would be a bother to their family.

I sniffed. There wasn’t any place for me, was there? I could move back in with my brothers, but without Raven, the abuse would be twice as worse. I would probably break a bone every week.

My only other option was to become a wolf permanently and live in the forest, only to die by natural causes or by being hunted. It wasn’t looking too good for me.

I made my way out onto the back porch and sat down, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my chin on my knees. Those two were going to be so happy.

“Hey,” Perry’s voice sounded behind me.

I flinched and recoiled further into my little ball of sadness that my body had formed. I wasn’t ready to deal with and insults or teasing yet.

“Calm down, I won’t hurt you. Cole’s already done enough of that.” I could hear him sit down next to me. “Are you okay? You looked a little shaken up when you came downstairs.”

I opened my mouth to tell him to leave me alone, but a shaky sob escaped instead.

A comforting arm wrapped around my back and squeezed. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’.” He said and chuckled, doing a bad job at lightening the mood. “Look, Runt, I know I haven’t been the best of big brothers.” He began.

I snorted, but let him continue.

“I’m serious. If things get too uncomfortable for you, you can come back here.” He said, and hugged me again.

I sniffed. When did Perry get so nice? “But everyone hates me.” I whispered.

“I said ‘if’. And, personally, I don’t hate you.” We were silent for a minute or so. “Can you tell me what has you so upset?”

Shrugging, I finally looked up. “I don’t even know myself. It’s hard to explain, but I feel completely hopeless when I see them together, and I just feel the urge to tear them away from each other. A little voice is screaming ‘don’t you dare touch him, he’s mine’.” I felt myself blush. “Bitch,” I added.

Perry laughed and tousled my hair. “I’ve only heard stories, so I can’t tell for sure, but it sounds like you’ve chosen that guy as your mate.” He went quiet. “Congratz, I guess.”

This time it was my turn to laugh. “If I can take the shock of you being nice, you can take the shock of me being gay.” I tucked my hands into my sleeves and used the fabric to wipe my eyes and clean the condensation from my glasses.

My brother gave me another tight squeeze and stood up. “I’m not shocked at that, I just annoyed that my baby brother found a mate before I did.” He smirked. “I’ll just have to try harder.”

I frowned. “I may have found a mate,” I said. “But my mate hasn’t found me.”

Perry nodded. “That’s a problem.” He sighed. “I’m not sure how to help you, but don’t do anything stupid, okay?”

“Great advice,” I grinned at the sarcastic compliment.

“I’m serious,” he said, and his facial expression showed he was telling the truth. “It’s going to be painful for you emotionally, but hold on, okay? You’ll figure something out eventually.”

I nodded and stood up, following Perry back inside. Kite and Rowan were carrying Raven down the stairs. “Is she okay?” I asked, worried about my sister.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Rowan assured me. “We’ll be taking her with us back to the main house.”

Perry looked concerned as his eyes shifted to me.

I nodded and put on a smile. “That’s good. I’ve always wanted to see pups being born.” I laughed.

Raven growled and the men put her down. I knew what she meant. I’m not letting anyone watch. Knowing Raven, she’d hide for the birth and signal for help getting the cubs back when she was done.

I gently patted her head and escorted her outside, opening the car door and helping her hop in. If this was the most I could do, I wanted to help her. I wanted to be a part of their life, even if my place was small.

I spent the car trip staring out the window, mentally forcing myself not to start crying again. I didn’t really know how I was going to cope with losing Rowan’s affection. But Perry was right. I would figure something out.