•·.·'7'·.·•

"Cecilia, we're here" My eyes jump open.

It's just Elias.

I rub my eye. Elias starts undoing my seatbelt. I look behind his head. It's cool like the other one. Although this one looks much bigger.

"Please let me hold your hand this time"

My eyes look at his dark eyes. I wish mine were like his, so we could be similar. I don't wanna be like Mother. Not anymore.

I hope he doesn't rip me away from him like she did. So without overthinking it I step forward and hug him. He's super tall so it was around his hip. It was still a hug though.

I wait. But he doesn't dig his nails in my arm or push me away. Slowly I remove my arms and look up at him. He smiles. Smiles.

He doesn't know this, but in this moment i'm sure I love him. It's okay if I end up getting hurt again. It's fine.

Elias grabs my hand and we walk towards the huge shopping building. He called this a mall. So mall it is.

When we entered I'm amazed by the amount of people. There's a lot, the amount makes me a bit anxious but I quickly notice they're doing they're own thing. Elias is with me, I know i'll be okay.

Elias takes me into the first store. This is so exciting. When we walk in my eyes widen in awe. This is so lovely. It's all kinds of clothes.

I notice a lady coming towards us. I try to go

behind Elias.

People can be dangerous.

"Hello Sir! Is there anything I could do for you?" The lady talks english but in a super cool way. I peek out from behind Elias to see her. She is tall, it reminds me a bit of younger Mother.

"Could you help my child, we're looking for.."

I'm so engrossed in the pretty clothes I don't listen to what they're saying.

"Okay please follow me! Let's start off with nightwear" I notice the lady is very smily, and that's there's no one other then us in this store.

The lady starts getting a bunch of clothes she thinks will suit me. Pajamas, dresses, and so many more things. Even shoes.

"Okay! i'm sure this is more then enough!" The lady says. "Would you like to try them on?" She looks at me straight in the eye.

Wait a minute. Try them on?...

So that's why she was asking me if I like the clothes she was choosing. Elias is getting all of this for me.

He thinks I deserve this?

I look up at him, adoration and disbelief in my eyes. Why couldn't Mother do this. Not buy me stuff but why couldn't she just simply spend time with me? or hold my hand.

I'll never know, and part of me doesn't want to.

That doesn't matter now, because all I want to do is hug my brother and tell him how much I love him.

A/N: I keep forgetting she's wearing boy clothes

...

We had spent all day at the mall that by the time we were back the sun was going down. Elias told me he was going to send someone to my room to drop my things off. He also said Mateo and Romeo weren't going to be back until tomorrow morning. I asked him why but all he said was something came up.

Elias was walking me to my room but when we got there he got a phone call.

"I have to leave Cecilia" He said looking at his watch. "It'll only be for a while. Get ready for bed. If you have an emergency go to the twins, they are downstairs watching a movie with Macy"

I nod and smile. My heartbeat starts jumping in my chest. For some reason i'm worried for him even though he said he'll come back fast.

Elias ruffles my hair and walks away. I just stare at him until he's no longer in view.

When I go inside my room I decide to take a bath. All the time I would only have showers. I've never taken a bath before but I've gotten some ready for Mother when she would order me to do it.

Successfully getting the bath ready I can't believe how nice it feels. I'm lucky i'm getting to experience this. Too lucky i'm afraid to do a wrong move and it will all come to an end.

Shaking my head I look down at the huge bubbles in the bath that make a big smile grow on my face.

...

I come out of the showers wrapped in a fluffy bath robe. I look down at my long hair that hasn't been cut in years. Small droplets of water are handing on the curly ends, slowly falling onto the floor.

I tried my best to dry my hair but I guess I didn't do that well.

I notice that in the corner of the room all the shopping bags have been placed there. Running to them I look inside the bags. This is too much for me.

Mother would've hated this. She probably would've beaten me if she was here for making Elias buy these things for me.

She's not here though. I tell myself repeatedly. Is the only thing that makes me feel better.

Pulling a white set of pajamas out of the bag and putting it on. I stare at myself in the mirror for a hot second.

I giggle. I look so pretty, like the people in Mothers books. I even start spinning and jumping until i'm out of breath.

My throat is so dry it feels like sand. It was already 8:56pm meaning the twins and Macy were probably asleep now.

Manning up I open my heavy door that is 10 times bigger then me and slowly slip out of the door. It was quiet which calms my nerves.

Slowly going inside the kitchen I fill up a glass of water. I feel like a ninja on a mission.

The cold water refreshes my throat. This is rich water. Mother is lucky for being able to consume this tasty drink whenever she would please.

I quietly wash the cup, holding my breath when placing the cup on the counter. I'm lucky no one is here.

Once the cup sits on the counter I can finally breath again.

When I turn around my soul leaves my body. Macy's blue eyes stare right at me, looking at me from head to toe.

"You whore" She says. Storming towards me. She looks livid.

Im frozen in my spot. She's coming and I can't move.

Macy's hand rises and slaps my cheek. My eyes water from the impact. Small tears threaten to come out but I force them back in.

I hated slaps, because it was impossible for my eyes to not water. Mother knew this but she would continue to do it. At times I would wonder why she despised so much when I cried if she was the one who would make me cry most of the time.

Macy grabs me by the shoulder and pushes me backwards, forcing my body to land on the glossy floor. Looking down at me with evil eyes, "Stay away from them or i'll make you do things you don't wanna do"

That was enough to scare me.

Without giving me a chance to explain myself, to say I don't have any bad intentions, she just stops away. After I can no longer see her yellow colored hair I decide is safe for me to stand up.

I look down at my pajamas to make sure they're fine. I don't want to mess us a gift my brother gave me.

I ignore the inevitable feeling of hurt.

It's always like this. Soon the rest will start doing the same. There's no way it will last forever, because I can never make anything last. Mother was right, I am a curse. To everyone, to myself.

...

I'm back in my room and get under the covers. Grab one of the many pillows and hug it with all I have. I want to cry but I can't.

I pretend the pillow is someone who loves me, this pillow understands me. I don't have to explain myself, I know it can feel what i'm feeling.

I close my eyes with force, as if it will magically make me fall asleep.

But sometimes, making yourself believe in something so hard can actually make this happen for real. Because soon sleep starts to consume me.

If only this would work with other things.

I'll wake up tomorrow and pretend nothing happened. That's what I'm best at.

...

"Pick it up with with your mouth" Mammy demands. She's drunk too much of the smelly beverages, again.

"I'm sorry mammy, I won't do it again. Please don't make me do this" I beg. It was my fault, I should've not touched her necklace. Still, I can try to show my guilt, maybe she will show mercy?

"Don't call me that bitch!" She screams in my face making me flinch backwards. "Now pick. it. up."

My eyes water, but I know better then to cry. My lips wobble and I get on my knees. Bring my head to the ground, and slowly pick the necklace from the mud, the piece of jewelry now hanging from my teeth covered in the nasty mud. I feel like i'll throw up.

Mam- Mother brings her hand and slaps me so hard the necklace flies out of my mouth. "Now eat the shit in your mouth"

My watery eyes widened and my stomach feels like it's spinning. A shake my head, unable to swallow the dirt.

"Eat it Angelica" Mothers face is no longer mad, an evil smile appears on her dry lips.

Im awaken from my sleep. Im panting and my mind is all over the place. My head moves in all directions trying not to remember.

Unfortunately my mind remembers what woke me up too soon.

Jumping out of the bed the covers get tangled with my legs. I need to get out.

I small wail leaves my mouth as I start to get flashes of heat.

Standing up from the floor I run out of my room and go down the stairs. I trip but continue to run. My breathing quickens more and more each passing minute. I try to open the main door but is locked. I twist and pull on the door knob but it won't budge.

I need out. I don't wanna be here anymore.

In that moment the doorknob starts turning. Backing away and tripping over nothing I land on my butt.

The door creeks open revealing a tall man with dark eyes.

My panicked eyes looks up at him.

Standing up so quickly I don't even think what I'm doing. I throw my arms around him, my cheek presses on the cold suit my brother wears, finally I feel like I can breath again.

Elias doesn't say anything. He simply lets me hold onto him, soon enough he places his hands under my arm and picks me up. I wrap my legs around him and hold my hands so tightly around his neck.

All I feel is relief and a sense of comfort the pillow couldn't give me.

"Eli?" I say in a shaky voice.

"I'm here baby, you're okay" His voice is so gentle it calms my heart.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

"Do you want me to take you back to your room?"

I shake my head rapidly.

"How about I hold your hand until you fall asleep? I use to do that with the twins when they were little and it always worked"

"Okay" I agree.

Elias walks upstairs and towards my room. When we get there the covers are thrown on the floor and most of the pillows are spread around the room.

I'm so stupid, I made a mess.

Elias walks in and places me on the bed. He bends down and picks up the scattered pillows and covers.

Placing them over me he goes to grab a chair but I hold onto his suit.

"Can you please lay down with me?" My hands are shaky.

Instead of rejecting me and leaving me alone like anyone else would do Elias just smiles and nods.

As he lays down next to me I stare at him.

I hope one day when I'm older, and i'm able to be free, i'll be like him. Someone strong, caring.

Elias notices me staring at him, he opens his arms and without wasting another second I let the warmth surround me.

Not the suffocating one, like the one I felt earlier. The one that just makes you feel safe. Like as long as your able to feel it every once in a while things aren't that bad.

I bite the inside of my lips to prevent them from wobbling.

Elias notices this and furrows his eyebrows.

"Is okay to cry Cecilia" His voice is so gentle I almost do start crying.

"No is not" I quickly say in a pained voice.

"It's normal, when we cry we allow ourselves to let go of sadness" I look up at his eyes. My lips tremble and my eyes fill with tears. I cry.

Although i'm sad my tears aren't just of sadness but relief.

Years of suffering leaks from my eyes. Of course not everything, i'm not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself completely, but still, it makes me feel better.

I look up at him again,

Elias, I wanna be you when I grow up

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End of Chapter 7

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How I imagine her pajamassss

Cute granny pajamas 🤗