Love

Published: September 8, 2021

***

Finally, the girl left him alone after sliding her card in his pocket, he hold her with his typical flirty smile, unbothered to give a second glance to the card...

He sighed and took out his phone... Mew would be here in few minutes, he waited he should be here till now, he checked his phone again...

"I am gonna be late"

"Can't pick you up"

"Booked a cab for you"

He read the messages, his grip on the necklace tighten, suddenly he became conscious of the situation, did he just flirted with a girl??, his heart rate hiked at the realization, he was flirting, and he didn't even realize it...

He hugged her, let her feel him she was touching her all over, he felt sickened with own self....

All these troubles just for this piece of thing in his hand, he once again looked at the thing, and felt the rage, the frustration, what was he thinking, was he even thinking, why he doesn't have any control, why he is like this, he wants to throw the pendant away but he can't, he clutched on it.

Re-reads the messages, how will he face him, he can't face him right now, he can't, what if he found out the necklace,  what if he asks questions, feeling guilty already, he clutched on the necklace and went to his apartment instead of going to Mew's place.....

*

*

"He is not still here"

"It is past midnight"

"Se should be here till this time"

Mew was going back and forth, he shouldn't leave him there, he should have waited, maybe it is something else, maybe he was overthinking, how can he behave so childish,,, he pulled out his hair and looked at the time, it is 2 am..

He took out his phone to call Gulf's number it was switched off, he called once again, but again it was switched off....

He panicked and call the cab driver.....He canceled the cab why??,

Why did he canceled the cab...

It is 3 am in the morning, his mind filled with all kinds of scenarios, Why Prink??, is he playing with me??, is he still out there with her??

No he can't, he cared right, he cared, must be some misunderstanding, he tousles his hair and

Went outside, looking at the road, waited there for half an hour and came inside when he started to feel chills,

Why isn't he home yet, please don't be with her, is he s*xually frustrated, is it because we had not done it yet.

It must be the reason, but why Prink, he face palmed himself,

I shouldn't have made him wait this long, I am imposing my issues on him, he gives everything, and I... did he left me, Is he gonna leave me soon after this, Is this gonna repeat every weekend after this, Does he lose interest in me because he finds something more pretty..

He didn't realize but his eyes were shedding going back and forth from door to clock, then again from clock to the door, like they were trapped in going back and forth in a loop..

It is five in the morning and he is still not here, his eyes were heavy and his head was spinning from all crying, he was angry, sad, and desperate to see him, he should be here, holding him, in his arms, not in Prink's,

He went to his home bar and pull out his stash to the living area, waiting for Gulf still looking at the door,

Finally, the door opened at 10 in the morning, Mew was not awake to finally see the most awaited person,

He entered into the living area and found Mew limped over the couch, with few bottles of liquor around him.

He put his things in place and looked at the amount of cig, "Did he just" they were two three packs, and he was reeking of liquor and smoke...

He panicked and pulled Mew to check on his face, his face was a swollen and weird shade of bluish color, he slapped on his face, "Mew, Mew"

He pulls him up, and makes him sit but his body limped back.. "Mew you are scaring me, Mew".. He jerked him a little, his face rolled on the side lifelessly...

Gulf panicked checked on his breathing, and his heart rate and called for help, within few minutes ambulance arrived and Mew was hospitalized, with IV attached,

*

*

*

Pen arrived there soon after Gulf's call, and patted on his shoulder understanding when he saw him at the edge of crying..

They waited outside, while doctors keep on checking his vitals, he tried to ensure younger, "He will be fine"

Doctors called them after a while,

"He has alcohol poisoning",  Gulf nodded his head, holding his tears..

"We had clean his stomach, he needs these medicine, and let him rest" Gulf again nodded his head frantically,

"You should be careful, It can be fatal", "He could fell in a coma, or worst be dead" Gulf hiccupped and nods his head again, not sure what to do apart from that.

"And avoid liquor and cigarettes for a while", he again nods his head...

"They said it was alcohol poisoning" Gulf keeps on gulping the saliva, he want to be out of this place, the smell the, the dull colors, the beeping sound, and his lifeless pixie on the bed with these many needles, he wanted to wail and shout out loud..

Pen sighed, "He doesn't have much high liquor tolerance, he is much on smoker side", "I don't know what he was thinking while drowning in liquor"

Gulf nods his head, still, on the urge to cry, the lump is there which Mew always talk about, the lump that chokes you, and doesn't let you cry, it is there making his breathing heavy...

The doctor came out soon and allowed the visitor to see the patient, they entered the room and saw him in the middle of beeping wires..

He sits there afraid to hold Mew's hand, he traced the cannula lightly, does it hurt, aren't they gonna take it out, Pen looked at Gulf's hesitation..

"It doesn't hurt, he is fine"

"It doesn't??"

"No, it doesn't"

Pen patted on his shoulder, "You need anything??"

"no i am fine, thank you"

"They said he would be discharged, after few tests, his mother is calling, I need to take care of that"

Gulf nods his head..

Once Pen left the room Gulf cried in silence, scared to touch needled arm but he does hold on to it lightly, hearing those beeping sound...

Every time door opened

He cried in silence wiping the tears when ever door opens he hoped that someone will came and let those wires get off from him, let him free from the web of wires and needles, but they didn't, instead they came and put another bottle.

After three hours mew opened his eyes, his head was spinning, "water" he asked in hoarse

Gulf stand instantly and gives him water and helped him in sitting, finally, Mew saw Gulf's crying face and it hurt again, like every time, he pulled him closer weakly.

"Why are you crying??"

Gulf wailed out, letting himself free from the lump, "period cramps...they hurt" He clutched on his shoulders

Mew stays quiet, rubbing on his back soothingly,

"You scared me"

Got kissed on his ear-lobe, "Sorry", the grip on his waist loosens as mew dozed off...

He got discharged the next day, they came home, Mew didn't ask much questions, nor did he talk much, Gulf let him rest, they again settled into a routine, Mew was working from home for that week, he attends the meetings online, got busy soon and Gulf being busy with the club and meeting few artists, and working on his new collabs, would come late at home than his usual..

Everything was the same but with little change in their behavior, mostly Mew... he no longer seeks to tease Gulf, he no longer holds him, he stopped touching him, he even didn't ask why he is late or something like that....

Gulf was noticing smaller details, the little changes in elders' behavior, but he waited maybe he is not feeling well, and busy with the workload, he gave him space, and he always tell before coming late, but still, things were different,

*

*

As usual, the following Saturday Gulf came home late, and found Mew chugging on liquor again, he ran and snatched it from his hand,

"have you lost your mind??"

"You were hospitalized because of this last week", "how much you had taken"

He checked on him, tossing his face, sniffing on him, and looked around the room, it is one bottle of light wine and not empty yet..

He sighed and looked at his red eyes, is he crying, why??

"Gulf, I think we should stop"

"What??"

"I think we should stop"

He was confused, placed the bottle on the side, and kneeled in front of him, Stop what... should stop stashing alcohol, or what??

"Stop??.... stop what??"

"I think we should stop, whatever we have"

His legs felt paralyzed for a moment, is his ear buzzing, or did he hears the right thing, he crouched closer holding on to Mew's thighs, "You don't mean that??"

"I mean it"

"Nooo, you don't" He rubbed on Mew's butts to his knees desperately..

Mew averted his gaze avoiding him...

"Why??" he rubbed on Mew's sides again, trying to hold on to what he felt, it is the same like he is getting thrown away, without knowing the reason,, without being asked what he wants..

"It would be good this way"

"No, It is not"

"Look at me first" he turns his head and attached their foreheads, still rubbing on Mew's sides...

Mew stays silent without circling around Gulf's torso,

Gulf felt the lack of warmth around his torso, Mew's arms were limping on his side, he didn't hold him back, they should be around him till now snuggling him closer, and would made him sit on his lap, but he didn't, he took Mew's hands making them cup on his face...

"you are throwing me out"

"I am not", his thumbs did their job wiping the corner of his eyes,

"Then why??"

"It is better this way"

"why??", "Just tell me why??" he pulled him closer through his trousers...

"because it hurts" he shouts back, with tears lingering in his eyes

"It hurts Gulf" He pleaded, "It is not me but you who is throwing me away"

"What are you talking about??"

"Nothing" he averted his gaze and took his hands back...

Gulf pulled his hands again, "Nooo, we are talking"

"There is nothing to talk about"

"Then how can you say I am throwing you away" he shouted loud

"I can say that because", "I saw you last Saturday" Mew shouted back

Blood drained from Gulf's face, "What??"

"I saw you last Saturday with Prink Gulf",, "I don't know what is going on between you, but I saw you hugging her, and don't say it was a friendly hug, because it was not"

"What are you talking about, where was Prink"

"At least, Don't lie on my face.... I saw you with Prink, you were hugging her"

"And then I waited for you like the whole night, and you didn't come back" his eyes became glassy again, and tears rolled down he wiped them instantly

Gulf gaped like fish, so was he drunk because of him, was he the cause

"I called you the whole night, but it was switched off", "I don't know what to do, it was frustrating, and I can't do anything"

"But.."

"I get that Gulf, you like a shiny, pretty face, and I am no longer that for you, and I can understand", "I have issues... I get that.", "'m sorry I bounded you with this for so long and now you can't free yourself",

"So I am giving you the freedom, you can go for as many pretty faces you want, I am not gonna stop you"

Gulf was trying to process all the information, so Mew was there, he saw her feeling him up, he saw everything, and he still waits, he felt anger at himself, at Mew for not coming there and fighting for him...

He started kneading his hands like he wants to remember the touch, the soft areas of his hand like his palm, the roughness around his fingers... the warmth, the sensation, his nails which he always chewed upon..

He snivels, and sniffled..."But please be safe, check for people's background, and don't let them in so easily",

He felt difficulty in breathing, took few deep breaths...."I wish a happy life for you, and I will try my best to be happy without you",

He left a hollow chuckle, "This is not gonna be easy at least not for me", He kissed on knuckles repeatedly,

"As every drug has its peak and low, I had tasted the peak with you and I enjoyed it, I really did",

"I know withdrawals symptoms can drive you crazy, but I will survive, I will be okay, I can do it, right??" tears left his eyes, he wiped them off immediately

"Don't think I am saying this to stop you, but I want to hold you, but I can't..."

"Stop it" Gulf hissed on him

"I want.."

"Shut the f**k up", he shouted pushing him back...

"Gulf??"

"I said shut the f**k up, Okay"..." I am not leaving"

He gulped multiple times to suppress the emotions, "You have to Gulf, I can't see you with someone else once in a while",

He tried to joke and punch lightly on his shoulder, "As you said before I think I am possessive types, I guess...you were right"

"Nooo"

Mew dried his tears and then wiped Gulf's face, and hold on to it tracing,

"I am gonna miss you Gulfiee" he pressed their foreheads together and kissed on his lips lightly, and backed a little, but Gulf pulled him closer, kissed him harder pouring all his feelings, nibbling on him, pushing him back...

Mew falls on the couch, "Gulf, w.." but Gulf didn't give him chance to speak, and climbs over him

"You talk so f**ing much" he shouted at him feeling frustrated...

"Have you asked me how I feel"

"But I saw it Gulf"

"I am so f***ing sorry",

"I am sorry that I didn't remember  how your f**king fiance looks like"

"I so sorry that I let her clutch on me that long"

"I am so f**ing sorry" he cried louder

"You don't remember her??"

"What is in there to remember her, she was just like passerby and that is that"

"Then why??"

Gulf cried louder, Mew hold his hands, "okay calm down, calm down, need water"

He pinched on his thighs and wailed louder, "You are so dumb",

"so f**ing dumb"  shouted in Mew's ear....

Mew sighed, "come here" he hugged him tight,  "better"

This is what he was longing for a while, almost a week has been passed without the arms around him holding him closer stroking on his back, comforting him, finally he got them around him, He nods his head, hiccupping.

Once, his sobs die down, Mew strokes his hair, "But Gulf??"

"I was not sleeping around"

"I was not"

"I saw the pendant in her neck, and that was pretty and it was hummingbird... I like the hummingbird, and that I didn't think much, and i..."

"You steal it??"

he frowned,"I am not a thief"

He kissed on his neck, "No you are not, sorry for my words did you take it"

Gulf nod his head,

Mew understand why he was taking so long to hug her, and then his hands on neck,,

"Where is it??"

"In my apartment"

"So that night??"

"I was ashamed to face you, so I went to my apartment" he sniffled with bowed head..

Mew hugged him tight unable to control his tears, confused whether they are tears of happiness or some other emotion

"Why you think like that??" Gulf broke the silence

"It is true though Gulf, i am not gonna look like this for my whole life", "and once you realize that, i may don't wanna know the truth"

Gulf smacked on Mew's chest, shooting him with red eyes, Mew wiped his tears.

"You are not just pretty face, you are pixie"

"That doesn't change the fact you like my face"

Gulf cried once again, Mew took him in his arms tighter...

"There is a difference between sparkle and pixie," hiccupping

"Sparkles can come they can go, but pixie....he is the source of happiness, more the pixie... happier I am"

He clutched on Mew tightening his grip...

"I am not gonna leave",

"Even if I have to wait for my whole life to have s*x with you",

"Even if I die because of blue balls", "and you can't leave, I am not gonna let you go", "you can't"

"I am happy like this, you said I am your euphoric high", "I will be that, and you remain my source of happiness, my pixie and that is that"

Gulf slapped on Mew's chest one more time, "Ask me next time, don't just throw me on the side"

Mew embraced him tighter, nodding his head,

"And you will not drink again"

Mew nods his head again,

"Not ever again"

Mew nods his head again..

"And will not smoke again"

"Hey Gulfiee, that's..."

Gulf bites on his shoulder, "Aahhhhhh, I told you... you have sharp teeth"

"Say it"

"I will try to smoke less"

"And you will keep cutting my nails"

Mew smiled swaying Gulf's hair back, "I will"

"And you will bring food for me, and put silly notes with no smiley for me"

He smiled again, "I will"

"You are not gonna take another experiment with someone else"

"I will not"

"I will be your windy wind and endropill"

Mew chuckles with happy tears around the corner, "you will"

"And I am still allowed to touch you, bite you, kiss you, and scratch you"

Mew chuckles, and caressed his face, "you are"

And finally that night, Gulf got to bite on that tattoo and besides tattoo too, okay he didn't bite...how can he bite he has sharp teeth..

***

He can die to wake up like this every day, the shirtless guy beside him was sleeping soundly with an open mouth drooling, he pulled him closer.

Gulf steered in his sleep but snuggled closer to the warmth, Mew smiled and scratched on his scalp and tenderly massaged on his nape...

The little gesture must have wakened the sleepyhead,  as soon as he got his sense he started nibbling on Mew's chest, Mew chuckles, "That tickles Gulfiee"

But that didn't let him stop, it encourages him, he keeps on going further until he would be told to stop, Mew didn't stop instead he pulled him closer further snuggling him closer to the chest, giving him access to his body, and his hands keep on rubbing on others back in a soothing manner...

"I love you Gulf"

Gulf's movement paused at words, he used to wonder how it feels to say love words, and hear sincere love words, he thought it would feel cringe like you want to throw up, but now when he hears it, he wants to dance, he wants to sing, can he fly he feels like he can fly...

His gaze shifted upward at Mew, It is the same tender gaze he admired once from far, and now he is the only receiver of this gaze, the love words he said with sincerity, it felt tingly, he touched his face.... a few months back he couldn't think of touching him and now look at him, how far they have come.

"But, You didn't even fight for us, you just gave up"

"I can fight for you, but I can't if I have to fight against you"

Mew kissed on his knotted brows,

"Don't give me that cheesy shit"

"But you like that cheesy shit"

Pout, "But still you should have a fight"

"How can I fight the supreme seduction"

Gulf pinched on his sides, "Aaooiiii Gulfiee" He nuzzled his face in his neck, and kissed on his cheek

"Aren't your other cheek jealous today??"....

He hides his face in pillow, "No, It is not"

"What about the katana jaws??"

"They are not, they are angry with you", "They want to cut you deep and deep"

"Let me see them"

"No"

"But i want to bite on them"

"No, you don't"

"I really do"

Mew bring his face closer, Gulf pushed his face cupping it and making him stay away...

He started nibbling on his fingers kissing his palms, making youngers grip loosen

"I hate you" he snuggled in his crook

"of course you do" his hand held the back of his head stroking younger hairs...

"Mew...."

"Hmmm"

"Happy anniversary"

"There is time Gulfie"

"But I saw you at the club for the first time, yesterday"

"you seduced me," he sulks while puckering his lips..

Mew pinched on puckered lips, "I thought it was you who failed to seduce me"

Scoff, "who wants to seduce you??"

"S*x god, who is in my arms right now"

Gulf scoffed again...

Mew squeezed him while smiling widely, "Happy anniversary Gulfiee"

Gulf hugged him back, putting his leg on him...

"Mew??"

"Hmmmm"

He touched on his chin, it is harsh as he remembered with little stubble, rubbed his face on it, it felt like getting rubbed with a rough yet soft surface, the little bristles tickles his face.

Mew chuckled, "what are you doing??"

"Mewww??"

"hmmm"

"Mewwww??"

"Hmmmm"

"Mewww??"

He chuckled again, "What Gulfiee"

"I love you"

He said loud and clear while gawking at Mew's face, did he just said that loud, did he really said that, his stomach churned and did few somersaults, he gulped while staring at Mew's face like a manic, detangle himself in hurry and ran out of the bedroom, Mew ran after him, of course, how can he leave him now...

***

I am disappointed with my disability to know where to cut the chapters and writing again over 3k, there is nothing wrong with long chapters, but I realized lengthier the chapters more mistakes and more re-readings..

sigh, again, thank you all for showering so much love, have a nice day...

💜💜