XXXI

(A/N: You can play Come Back... Be Here by Taylor Swift while reading this chapter. That song is the inspiration of this chapter and Shirley's feelings to Prince Alexander.)

XXXI

I did not wait anymore for Katherine. I strode faster to the palace. I did not know if she was still following me or watching me for acting weird again. She had no idea–maybe she had a little–what was going on between me and Prince Alexander.

He already broke his words. Or, he had already forgotten about it after seeing his undeniably hot ex-girlfriend. Tears streamed down from my eyes. I kept on brushing it so no one could see me crying. I should not cry because he was nothing, but a jerk. But my chest hurt. If only I could remove it, I already did.

For the past week, even though I knew that he was not in his office, I went there every after lunch. Just to sit on the couch where we always had our coffee break. Sometimes, I was imagining him sitting on his swivel chair while watching me intently. There were times I pictured I was talking to him, saying to him the things I wanted to tell. And I thought, he also wanted to know.

I wanted to feel his presence even going to the places where we had been together. He did not give me a freaking call, and now, I was crazy thinking of him. Overreacting was the right word for me, it was only one week since we had seen each other, but it was like a decade for me.

I was a blur. I arrived at the palace at the fastest time. The guard checked if I was an employee there and brought nothing harmful from the outside.

Thankfully, no one disturbed to turn their heads in my direction.

I entered my room and locked it. I sat on my bed and started to cry. I could not stop my tears. I wished I was anywhere but here. I wished I never decided to believe in his words that still giving me chills even though I was crying because of him. I hated him for being Prince Alexander the playboy. I hated him for having a lot of ex-girlfriends. I hated him because he broke something inside me.

Probably, he still loved her, and that woman could return his feelings immediately. Unlike me, who was nonchalant for his feelings as if it was nothing. I did not mind before what would be the effect if I kept on rejecting him, making him wait for the contingency of loving him back.

And, I regretted that I did not assure him about it when he left. Maybe, I was too late.

The telephone in my room rang. I just stared at it for like three rings, before I realized someone was calling me. I brushed my cheeks using the back of my palm before taking the receiver of the telephone.

I sobbed, "Hello."

"Shirley," that voice froze every senses I had, even the world I was living. I was angry, disappointed, excited, nervous even happy at the same time. I thought only Lola could do it, but now, I was able to show all my emotions simultaneously. "Are you crying?" he asked in a concern tone.

"I'm not crying, damn you, Your Highness," at least, I was still polite to him.

There was a hint of confusion in his voice, "Shirley, why are you crying? And why are you cursing?"

"Because I hate you, Your Highness, and your damned whore ex-girlfriend," I screamed and bit my lower lip because tears were threatening to fall down again.

"Shirley, please calm down," he said in monotone, "Will you tell me what's happening there?"

I mocked a laugh, "Nothing happens here, Your Highness, I think something is happening there."

"I'm fine, Shirley, you don't need to worry. And, if you're crying because you missed me, just wait, okay? It's only a week long until we see each other again," he stated casually.

"Stay there, Your Highness," I gritted my teeth in exasperation.

"What?" he obviously could not believe what I was saying, "Shirley, are you angry with me?"

"I'm not angry, Your Highness," I said sarcastically, "I want to help you. Stay there with your, who's that ex-girlfriend of yours you kissed last night? I bet, you also do not remember her name."

I heard silence on his line. After a few seconds, he spoke, "Who said that to you?" the infuriated was audible from him.

"Actually, it is one of the common knowledge here in London now. You're in news, Your Highness, how sweet you are kissing your ex-girlfriend?" I kept on saying 'Your Highness' in a sardonic tone to irritate him and let him know that I was not enjoying his doing.

"Let me explain," he used one of his popular authority tune.

"No need, Your Highness, I already saw the picture. What will you explain? That you didn't like the kiss. I think, you like it. Your eyes were closed. Your arms were around her! What happened after that? Is she so good in bed that you want her to return to you?" I could not contain myself anymore. My tears ran on my cheeks again without a second thought, "Why, Prince Alexander? Why did you say those words to me if you're going to break it in the first place? You did not call for the whole week, and now, you will call after I received the news that you and your ex finally reunite. I hate you."

There was a moment of quietness again. I heard his breathing on the other line, and also, my sobs. I was thinking if he was going to call us off. Was the beginning would be also the end? I was scared to know.

"Are you done?" he asked calmly. No hint of abhorrence. I felt it affectionate and composed of worries. "Shirley, I don't like her kiss."

"So, you kissed her?"

"No," he responded instantly, "She was the one who kissed me and I was so disgusted that I let her do that to me. Shirley, my lips, my touch, my whole body, are only yours."

I was on the verge of believing him again. "You're lying to me," I accused.

"Nothing happened to us. She kissed me for like a half second, whoever paparazzi is that, he is good at timing," I could almost hear his lips formed into a grim line, "It's okay if you hated me of what happened. Just believe me that I don't feel anything anymore for her. All my exes and mistresses were in my past. You're my present and my future. I don't want you to be included in my past. I don't think I can survive this life anymore if you won't be with me, Shirley."

"Do you think I'll easily believe in you? Your Highness, I saw the picture," I sighed, "It's not like you have a nanosecond kiss. You're holding her."

The sound of a keyboard was noticeable on the other line. I did not want to talk to him right this moment. I was too angry at him and also at myself. I was already believing his words were true. However, he let my feelings shattered and I did not know what would happen if he let me go.

Prince Alexander cursed as if seeing a criminal in the street after a few clicks, maybe on the laptop in front of him.

"Shirley, I want to kill whoever reporter it is," he cursed again, "The picture they reported is photographed by a random paparazzi two years ago."

"Maybe, you saw the wrong picture. It was only taken last night," I uttered. In the back of my mind, there was someone hoping all he was stating were fact.

"I was wearing white on the picture," I nodded, even though he could not see me. I laughed mentally at myself. He continued, "I was holding the blonde – yeah, it is Leilanie – and we made out in the middle of the night. It was in London, Shirley, believe me."

"So, you're saying..."

"Yes, this picture was taken two years ago, there in London. If you still aren't trusting me, I was wearing a blue shirt when we ate in the restaurant last night," he clarified.

I raised an eyebrow, "Okay, if it's a picture two years ago, why you ate in the restaurant with her? And, why did she kiss you?"

"Leilanie is my good friend. Every time I visited Africa, we have a dinner for at least once or twice," he said, "I don't know what her reasons why she did that. But, I warned her not to do it again, otherwise, she won't see me anymore."

Relief flooded my veins. If the picture was really two years old, it only meant that Prince Alexander was serious to me. I felt triumphant, yet I was still afraid that he was lying and it would cause another pain.

"You can be friends with your ex, yet I can't. You don't want me to see Paulo, but you can have your dinner with your ex. How fair you are, Your Highness?" I rolled my eyes, thinking that he was sitting at the table across that blonde.

"Paulo is a man, he might be uncontrollable. I don't know what I can do to him if he touch you. You're mine, Shirley, and even in my dead body, I don't think I want to share you," he lowered his pitch, "You're mine from the time you stepped in England, from that time you landed your eyes on me."

"Be just, Your Highness," I commanded with the same power of him, "Stop acting as a possessive jerk. Although we spent that night together, it's difficult for me to have faith to all what you're saying." I swallowed the lump in my throat, "You're still Prince Alexander the prince who loves scandals. The prince you were before I went here."

"Shirley, give me a chance," he pleaded, "Tell me what is wrong and right. Tell me what I will do for you not to trust me. You're my everything. You're my life now. Whatever you say, I'll do it. Just be with me until my last breath."

I was speechless. My heart thumped harder and butterflies erupted in my stomach. My throat was dry, and I doubted it could still produce a sound. Was he real? Were all his words true? They were so beautiful to be genuine. And he was so perfect to be non-fictitious

"I love you so much, Shirley, that it hurts every time you're suspicious of what I felt," he sighed, and I caught my gasp in the middle of inhaling. How he said it was flawless that made my skin crawled and a shiver traveled down my back. "It's my fault. If I did not go from one woman to another, maybe you're absolutely trusting me," he added.

I closed my eyes, thinking we were not separated by a thousand miles. If only I could see his face while he was stating those words. The phone call was not enough. His presence was the only thing that could erase my anxiety. "I wished you took me with you," I whispered.

"I remorse that I did not bring you with me," he shot back.

"Then, why haven't you given me a call?"

"I apologize, I wanted to call you every night, but I was afraid that I disturbed you from your sleep. It's only today that I got a vacant time during lunch," I heard him smirk, "Don't worry, once I get back, we will spend all the incoming nights together."

I did not mind his last remarks. "Sorry, for being stubborn," I was still irritated for the news, and seeing him kissing someone. However, I was not annoyed with him now, I was angry for whoever girl that was. I wanted to see her personally so I could smack her face. "I hate it when I see you with other women. It's like they're getting you from me."

He chuckled, "No one will get me from you; I'm all yours."

"I wish you were here, I don't want to feel this way. I dislike how far you are from me," I admitted.

"One more week, babe," he guaranteed, "I miss you so much, you don't know how much I want to be at your side right now."

"See you, don't mess around with your exes again," I demanded.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, "And, don't cry again because of me. I might punish myself if those tears leave your eyes once more."

If this way was the foolish falling happened in the history, I did not care. No one could stop me. Nothing could interrupt our start. I was certain for whom my heart was beating.