chapter 25

Twelve years ago...Keenan stepped into his apartment after returning from basketball practice, looking all sweaty and hungry. His first thought was to shower, then food, but as soon as he stepped into the apartment, the heavenly smell he smelt from the kitchen made him want to change his mind. He would have said there was a girl over, but he knew how good his roommate and best friend, Rory, was at cooking. This was his doing, and Keenan wasn’t sure he would bathe before eating as he had earlier planned.As he threw his bag onto the sofa and almost sat, he remembered he had a date with Phoebe later in the day, so he had to get ready. He didn’t want to end up going to see her late and knew Phoebe wouldn’t appreciate that either.Although today made it four months since they started dating, Keenan had never gotten the chance to tell his best friend that he was dating his sister. He always freaked out whenever he tried to tell him the truth.He never planned to fall in love with Phoebe. They had been friends since their teenage age and he never considered her as anything but his best friend’s baby sister, well, until a year ago. They were on a college trip and camping in the woods and one night he walked into Phoebe's tent and met her crying. When he asked why she was crying she tried to hide it, but when he persisted, she told him that Hunter, her then-boyfriend had broken things off with her. Feeling pissed off, Keenan suggested he could go beat him up if she wanted, and Phoebe just shook her head.Keenan moved to console her and they stayed in silence for a while. Phoebe had later gotten hold of herself, she asked him why he was still single and he told her he hadn’t found the right girl yet and Phoebe who didn’t believe him, told him there were a lot of girls around and furthered her point by citing how he was good looking, in the right shape and had money and he said that was the problem as girls only saw his looks and money and nothing more.Phoebe told him she said more and Keenan kissed her lips, and that was how it all started. After that month, Keenan avoided complicated situations surrounding her for the next few months, not even having the guts to own up to what he had done. His feelings grew as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months, and he could no longer hold it in. And four-month ago when they finally got the time to talk, they both admitted feelings for each other.Keenan and Rory were close, and they knew everything about each other. And one thing he knew was that Rory didn’t welcome the thought of him and his sister for even a second. Keenan knew how protective Rory was of his kid sister with her dating boys and he knew Rory wouldn’t accept him because Keenan had jokingly talked about kissing Phoebe three weeks ago while they talked and Rory showed immediately disapproval, pointing to him that Phoebe was his younger sister and he would not let Keenan even think about her in that manner.Keenan valued his friendship with Rory as much as he valued his relationship with Phoebe and he only wanted to make her happy and he only wished Rory would see that.A week ago, Phoebe asked him if he had talked to Rory about them and when he said no, Phoebe, who felt disappointed, asked if she should speak to her brother about them instead, but Keenan insisted Rory had to hear it from him.He would have to come out with his feeling and intentions towards Phoebe soon so Rory doesn’t have to find out on his own. He loved her and wanted to only make her happy and that wouldn’t happen as long as Rory was in the dark about them.After taking a bath, and shaving his beard, Keenan proceeded into his room and changes into a black t-shirt and a blue pair of jeans and he stepped out of the room. Finally, Keenan sees Rory setting the table up and he paused in surprise. Although he’d smelt Rory’s cooking, he didn’t think he’d be that quick to finish cooking already.“Hey,” Keenan said, stepping forward towards the dining table set in front of the kitchen, which was on the left side of the room.Rory was holding a plate of pasta in his left hand and a bottle of chilled water in his right hand and looked up at his friend, all dressed and ready to step out.“Could have helped, but I was tired and filthy from much practice,” explained Keenan, and Rory just shrugged casually.Rory set down the plate and bottle in his hand down on the table before saying. “You’ve always been a very poor cook. I wasn’t expecting your help and I would have declined if you had offered.”Keenan glared at his friend, picking offence at his degrading remark, “I’m an excellent cook.”“Well, it won’t be me you’ll be giving food poisoning someday, it’s your future wife.” Rory countered sharply, walking to the kitchen and returning to the dining with another plate of pasta in his hand.Keenan scoffed, “She’ll love me too much to complain.” He said and took his seat.They were almost done eating when Rory began speaking. “Is there a girlfriend I don’t know about?”Keenan slowly drops the fork in his hand and swallowed the remaining food in his mouth before asking, “What makes you say that?”“You’re wearing that expensive Cologne, and that girl must be special and classy because you showered, shaved and dressed up to look acceptable.”Keenan takes the bottle of water and opens it. “Well, if there was, you’d be the first to know.” He said, trying to play it cool with him and taking the bottle to his mouth to take a drink.“When you date someone who’s not Phoebe, let me know.” He answered, staring at Keenan blankly.He almost choked to death on the water from the shock that took over him because of Rory’s words, and he dropped the bottle of water down on the table.He knew about them; he found out! Keenan didn’t mean to get nervous, but that was an understatement of how he was feeling.“What do you mean?”“Seriously? Out of everything we could do, we are going to play the ignorance game?” Rory demanded, with his voice hard and rising. “You seriously thought you were going to date my sister on campus and I would not find out about it?”“Rory,” he began slowly, “I can explain.”Rory shook his head. “I don’t want to hear it. You went behind my back and you dated my sister. I consider you as my brothers, man. How can I ever move past this?”“I love her, Rory and I swear I just want to make her happy.” He confessed in desperation and honesty.“The same way you loved, Lydia, Maria, Juliet and let’s not forget Stephanie!” He demanded reminding him of the girls he had gone out with because he thought he loved them at first, only to find out that he didn’t and had to end things with them.But Phoebe was different. He loved her and what he felt for her was deeper and stronger than what he felt for those other girls.“You’re going to hurt her and when you do, I will have to choose between you and Phoebe and I will choose her. Look me in the eye and tell me you will not hurt Phoebe!”Keenan's eyes raised and set in his friend’s, “Rory, I will not hurt Phoebe.”“I don’t believe you, break up with her, Keenan if you care about her you will break up with her now and save her from the future torture this madness you call love will bring,” Rory ordered, giving no room for objection from Keenan.When Keenan met up with Phoebe later that day, he had just one goal, doing exactly what Rory asked. “For a moment, I thought you would not come anymore,” Phoebe spoke out as she saw Keenan walk into their favourite meeting spot. Keenan was a few minutes late, and that was so unlike the Keenan she used to know.“I’m sorry.” He apologised and avoided her gaze at all costs.She shrugged before smiling. “Yeah, it’s fine. You’re here. Come,” she stretched her hand to him, but he didn’t take it like he usually did, which made her suspect that something was up. She dropped her hand and her eyes narrowed at him “What’s wrong?”“Phoebe, I can’t do this anymore.” He answered and pain gripped his heart as he said those words.Phoebe didn’t know where this was coming from. When she called him a few hours ago, everything was fine and suddenly it isn’t? She laughed in disbelief, “I shouldn’t be laughing ‘cause this isn’t funny. Quit playing with me, Keenan.”“I’m not playing, Phoebe, I can’t do this anymore.”Her eyes grew sorrowful and weak in an instant, “Don’t do this to me.... us, we have a good thing going on!” She was pleased with him, but his mind seemed set. “Is this Rory? Did he put you up to this?”Yes, Rory pushed him, but after sitting and thinking about it, he realised Rory was right. It was only a matter of time before everything went to shit, though. “It’s my decision, not Rory's. I’m sorry, Phoebe, we can’t keep doing this. We are not fooling anyone and it’s best to end this now and not string anyone alone.”Phoebe’s hand covered up her mouth, and she whimpered into it and tears ran down her face as her heart broke into a million pieces.“Tell me you don’t love me.”He looked up into her eyes. “I don’t love you, Phoebe. What we had was good while it lasted, but it is time to grow up.” He replied before walking away from her.......VARY helps Keenan up from the ground and tries to help him seat down, but he yanks his hand roughly from hers and moves away as though her touch burnt his skin.“Let me help you,” she pleads, but he only pulls his hand away from her when she takes it again.“I don’t need your help!” His arrogant words come hitting her and they hurt more than she expects them to.She expected worse, so she just shrugs it off.Keenan, who looks like he would rather be anywhere but here, asks, “Why are you here?”“I came to see you because I missed you.” She honestly replies and sees how Keenan gives her a look like she’s one crazy person.Maybe because at this point she is.“Leaving was your choice, not mine.” He reminds her, grunting and hissing in pain when his hand touches his rib.“I’m sorry,” she apologises, more for the pain he’s feeling than for leaving.“I don’t need your apology. In fact, I don’t even want to see you here.” He bites out at her with cruelty.Her eyes grow glassy as his words take deep root in her, weakening her already fragile heart. A bitter lump grows in her throat and she forces herself to swallow it, no matter how horrible it feels.This is her cross, might as well as shut up while bearing it.“I get it—” she speaks up, but he cut her off.“No, you don’t get it.” he waves his finger in her face, “If you did, you wouldn’t be here. Your dumb love has blinded your eyes, made you senseless and weakened your idiotic brain and made you stupid! As much as I dislike you, I would give you this friendly advice; the earlier you get to learn that love is a big joke, the better for you because, believe me when I say I don’t and I never will love you.” He sneers the last part at her, hoping to open her sealed eyes and make her see the truth before her eyes.Vary bites her lips and a whimper escapes her mouth and tears run down her face. When Keenan sees how badly he has hurt her with his words, he sighs, hoping she’d finally get the message that he didn't want her and would just leave.She stares at him as though he’s got two horns and a tail between his leg. “Why do you make it so easy for people to hate you?”Before he can get to answer her, she walks out of the waiting room and the door shuts behind her.She wipes off the tears running down her face with her palms and they become we making her wipe them off on her gown. As she finishes smearing her gown with her tears, she looks up and sees Phoebe, the woman Keenan had his tongue in her mouth a while ago, standing in her way.“Now is not the best time to tell me who owns Keenan’s heart ‘cause it’s not me so, I’d advise you to get out of my way before I go crazy on you.” She warns angrily, but her breaking voice and her wet eyes make her look and sound even more pathetic.Phoebe shakes her head, knowing that’s not the reason she wants to talk to her. Kissing Keenan was the worst of worse ideas she ever had and she had worse ideas. Now she just wants to talk to Vary about something that might benefit her. After the argument she and Jack had put up, she knew things might never be the same between them, but maybe doing this might help Keenan and the young lady.“I’m not here to talk about who owns Keenan's heart because it stopped being mine years ago.” She says, trying to reassure Vary she wasn’t a threat.That doesn’t make much difference for Vary though, “You knew that, yet you kissed him and had your hands on him?” She does not mean to raise her voice, but that’s what she does.She presses her lips together, knowing her guilt as well as admitting it was the only way for her to gain genuine forgiveness. “Mistake is the best teacher, that I’ve been told.”Vary shakes her head, getting tired and worn and wanting nothing more than to be out of this place, “I’m not interested in this discussion as you can see, I’m not the one that owns Keenan’s heart, it’s Taylor’s and you should have this discussion with her.” Having admitted this to the lady, she walks away, wanting to go to some place she can stay and cry her heart out.“No, it’s not,” Phoebe says, making Vary stop and turn to her.Vary’s brow shoots up questionably, “What’s not?”“Keenan’s heart,” she says as she steps closer. “Taylor does not own Keenan’s heart, not anymore.”Vary crosses her arms over her chest as she asks, “And you know that because?”“Taylor has been here for four days and Keenan hasn’t done something stupid yet.” She backs up her point, but that does not impress Vary a bit or make her feel better.“Because he doesn’t want to hurt his best friend, Rory.” She counters reasonably.Phoebe nods. Vary has a point. “Or maybe he doesn’t feel the same about her anymore,” Phoebe suggests arguably.Vary shrugs, “Even if that’s true, I’m not the one Keenan loves or the one who owns his heart,” Vary says with feigning casualness, “I was in there with him a while ago and he said so many horrible things to me and he reminded me again how he will never love me. A person who loves or at least has feelings for someone would not say or do anything to hurt them that way.”“If you know Keenan like I know Keenan, you realise he has a reputation for being the bad guy. That was the reason I hated him for ten years, thinking he had purposely broken my heart.” She reveals with sadness and regret in her voice, “He places himself in an unreachable spot that no one can reach, but I think you can reach it and makes him realise he doesn’t have to push people away and be the bad guy all the time.”After this revelation, a part of her heart goes soft for Keenan. He’d suffered so much at the hands of love and she can understand why he would do anything to avoid it. He has a heart. Phoebe just made that clear. It’s just been through so much pain it’s now numb.She stares at Phoebe with a curious look, “And why would you do it, help me or even help him?”She looks down and sighs, she never thought she would say these words ever to anyone but after everything that has happened she knows the man she once loved deserves this, “Because I think for the first time in a long time, Keenan deserves to be happy.”.Â