18: Confessions

Gavin

“What is he like?” I asked Valerie. We were talking on the phone around evening as I waited for dad to finish up dinner. He was good, but very slow.

“He’s pretty decent, I don’t know,” Val said from the other end. “from what you’ve told me, I like Zane more,”

“His anger?” I asked suspiciously.

“Yup,”

“Our not-so-friendly history?”

“Yup,”

“The reserved personality?”

“Yu-,”

“Don’t say ‘yup’,” I yelled.

"It seems to me like you're digging Zane's flaws, Gavin," I didn't realise that, but I kind of was.

"I don't know what to do, Valerie. What if he doesn't remember me? What if I don't like him?"

I let out a sigh, shifting uncomfortably in bed.

It was what I’ve been waiting for my whole life. A stupid promise, a lifetime of waiting, and a little kid’s last hope. I never expected to find a little kid who shaped up most of my upbringing. I grew up on kids’ fantasies and knights in shining armor. It hit different when the knight in shining armor showed up but I was falling for the damoiseau in distress.

I get carried away whenever I'm with him. He annoys me and makes me angrier than I've ever been. He frustrates me and makes me wanna show him that life is more than what he sees it to be.

"Sounds to me like you're in love, Gavin," I went silent. "Did you swallow your tongue, dumbass?"

"Hey I'm a year and three months older than you,"

"Not the point here, grandpa,"

"Gavin!" dad bellowed from the kitchen. Dinner must've been ready.

"In a minute!" I called back. "I got to go, Val. Dinner is ready,"

"You'll be here for the season's last game and you'll get to meet him. We'll see how it goes then, right?"

"Right," I jumped out of bed. "Talk later."

"later."

I threw my phone on the bed and dashed to the kitchen.

-

Lester, Casper, and I walked into The Mug Drug for a morning coffee. Lester piled a stack of 4 notebooks in front of him on the table.

"I'm kind of late on some homework," he explained.

"Val found the drawing. The actual drawing," both Lester and Casper went into shock. "He's in her school,"

"AND WE'RE GOING THERE SOON!" Lester screamed. In the silent café. I hated his guts. The café was generally quiet on Saturday mornings.

I left the table to order our coffees. Zane appeared from behind the counter, and for a second my heart stopped. I had forgotten he worked here, and I hadn't seen him since Thursday other than the random school meet-ups.

"Morning sir, how may I help you?" He talked sternly, leaving me a little confused. What did I do this time?

"I'm, I want an uh,"

"I'm joking, Gavin," He said nonchalantly. I sighed big time.

"That wasn't funny at all," but he seemed very amused.

"I like it when you're flustered and blushing," it was as if on cue, my ears felt five degrees hotter.

Then he started making the coffees I didn't order. "But I haven't ordered anything yet,"

"Unsweetened latte, caramel mocha, and an americano," he said as he worked the pumps. "eight forty five,"

I was impressed.

"But what if I wanted something else?" I teased.

"You'll drink what I made and sack it off," he did not tease. I knew fully well that he wasn't joking, and I was definitely going to drink whatever he made.

We didn't talk much after that. I took the coffees, thanked him, and went to our table.

Lester was thankfully doing some of his late homework, and Casper was feeling somewhat better.

I snuck glances at Zane. How different our meet ups were when alone and when in public. If only they knew how we kissed in secret. Kisses in art classes and behind beds. I wanted the most out of everything with him, but a clover leaf necklace burnt hot around my neck.

I ignored it for the time being and listened to a different sound in my head.

He was busy with his work, but Zane was as distant as my look. I wondered briefly if he had anyone on his mind too? Did he leave a past behind? Was he thinking about what we did in private, too?

I wanted to know what he was thinking about, but what if it hurt me?

I didn't notice that he was at our table until I felt two arms snake around my neck. Then he was whispering in my ear. "Your eyes are following my every movement and if it doesn't stop I'll report you to the manager for sexual harassment,"

I turned my neck, his eyes and mine were locked, and whatever I wanted to say, whatever I was thinking about was gone.

"You know how to make a boy speechless indeed,"

A few hours later, I was left alone. Casper and Lester went on with their life, but I was frozen to my place.

People came and go, and Zane, Herrera, and the other waiters attended to their needs.

My phone vibrated with a text.

Z: If you're renting the chair you're gonna have to pay ahead

I looked around but could not find him.

Z: you're embarrassing yourself if you're looking for me

Z: jk I'm inside. I finish in a few hours

Go home

G: bold of you to assume I'm waiting for you

Z: k.

Suddenly he appeared from inside. Was he mad? Did I fuck up? I probably did and it was all gonna blow in my face.

To add fuel to the fire, Madeline walked into The Mug Drug, her eyes scanning the tables for an empty one.

However, to my luck, she saw me. It wasn't like I hated her, but since ever she did what she'd done to Zane, I was wary of her.

There was also the red paint on her sleeve, which I made a mental note to ask her about. She wasn't an art student.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hey," I replied dryly.

She did a little twiddle with her hands. I could read her like an open kids' book.

Her shoulders were slouching a little. She wasn't holding up to her Queen Bee status. Vulnerable, if I might say.

"I'm glad I found you here,"

"I didn't know I was lost," I was lost in myself more than anything.

"I wanted to tell you something,"

"Go ahead," I drank the last swig of my coffee, which was disgustingly cold.

"Remember the story you told me? The one about the boy and the drawing and that clover necklace under your shirt?"

I wished I could forget it for one day and live without the mess I've became.

"Yes,"

"Well I've been hiding something from you," she let out a ragged breath. "I know him, and I know he remembers you," my heart beat started rising in my chest. "and I know he wants you just as much as you want him,"

My feelings were clashing in solar waves of colour. A blue flare of calmness, a yellow flare of endearment, a red flare of anger, and a green flare the colour of clover leaves.

"How long have you known him?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"A few months back. First game with Eastmill Secondary. I saw the drawing with him,"

I hated her more than anything that moment. The cafe's calm ambience was starting to collide with my aggravation.

Had she told me then it would've saved me so much trouble.

But I wouldn't have gotten closer to Zane.

I hated how everything came back to Zane in the end.

"And why didn't you tell me?" I hissed. "What could've possibly prevented you from telling me?"

"I didn't tell you because," she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "because, I wanted you to love me instead."

A/N: your reminder to vote and tell me what you think.

More soon x.