chapter 19

Author's POV "I didn't ask you to love me...Thalir have you lost it....see I am 9 years older than you....I held you in my hands when you were just a newborn baby...you are Thulir's sister and mine how can I see you as a lover.....you are a child Thalir ""You should have told me that when I proposed to you 3 years ago when Akka and Athiyan solved their issues......then you didn't say anything. Why did you remain silent? and lead me to this day....to broke me like this ??""Because I know you are immature and young you won't take that rejection easily...and would have stopped talking with me ..""And you would have lost your human spy camera you had hold on here for all this 8 years....am I Right Mr.Aadhavan...""Don't speak like Stupid Thalir...no one used you...you voluntarily called me all this years and you got hurt on your own didn't I ever said I have feelings for you.....be practical Thalir.......I loved your sister is past and how can you expect me to replace her with you....don't you think it will bring more chaos in our family than already it is....and your Akka herself is enough if by chance we have any relationship she would make sure it will break...because from all this if you tell her now that you love me then her immediate response will be like "he is doing this to take revenge on me" so don't try to make me villain in anyone's story....I am grateful for you being there for me all this years...I like you , I deeply care about you but its not love Thalir.....try to understand this....I can never see you in that manner....you have infatuation and it will fade off soon okay....don't think about this too much....go to home and sleep ""STOOPPP........ENOUGHHHH OF THISSS STOPPPPP..AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"Thalir screamed, desperate to forget the conversation she had with Aadhavan that morning. When she returned home, the house was empty; Devaki had a check-up, so Jaishankar and Uyir accompanied her to the hospital. Thuyavan had left for an interstate championship match in Trichy and would be back in two days, while Thulir had gone off to college...Jayadev went to office....Fortunately, no one saw her in her distressed, broken state, which would have hurt them as well. Since then, she has been in the bathroom, submerged in the bathtub, hoping the water would wash away his thoughts from her mind. Her face is swollen, her eyes reddened from the ceaseless tears...she didn't cared to wipe them.....she didn't deserve this...being innocent in love is not her fault........Thalir found her eyes closed on its own..................."Dev calm down they are babies and its normal....doctor said they will be alright by morning right....they will be fine...now don't throw tantrums like baby eat something at least"Uyir said to her husband who is not ready to move an inch from his 1 year old twin babies who got fever due to weather change...."Jai, they are asleep now. eat something , then come back and sit with them all night,no one will stop you from being with your children. Come now, even Uyir hasn't eaten anything and is trying to console you. "Devaki said to her son...the later part got Jayadev's attention.."Did Thulir ate anything??""I made  her eat Dev....now come lets have dinner....the babies are sleeping"After Jaishankar spoke to his son, Jayadev finally got up from the bed and joined them for dinner...The nine year old Thulir peaked inside her parents room...She could see Thalir and Thuyavan sleeping.....from the moment she came back from school she got to know her siblings got fever and doctor came to treat them...she wanted to see them and make sure they are alright but something was stopping  her from going to meet them in the presence of her parents and grandparents...She still remember her pregnant mother shouting at her when she along with Agathiyan and Adhavan destroyed the home library of Uyir...and her father consoling her saying her mother's anger is due to the pregnancy hormones and how Uyir didn't spoke with her for month and when Uyir decided to end Thulir's punishment period she got labor pain.....When Uyir come back home with the Twin siblings of Thulir...she didn't came closer to them afraid of her mothers anger.....Thulir refrained herself from going closer to her siblings when her parents or any of her family members around....because once she accidently heard Innisai jokingly saying Uyir don't let Thulir be alone with her sibling she might pull up any chaos and unknowingly hurt the babies....even though  Issai didn't said it on a serious note but then Thulir was so young and sensitive.....so from then Thulir never showed her love to her siblings openly...She acted like she didn't cared when Jaishankar said her about her sibling's fever but was restless from then......to bother her more Jayadev didn't left the room along with him Uyir , Devaki and Jaishankar was also inside the Room with the babies....so when finally everyone left she is free to meet her siblings and admire them sleeping...She glanced around to ensure she was unobserved and quietly slipped into the room, careful not to make a sound...she smiled and let out a relief sigh looking at her siblings sleeping peacefully...she slowly climbed the bed and sat beside Thuyavan...she slowly pulled his fingers from his mouth which is he was sucking and patted him to sleep when he stirred slightly due to that action...but she panicked when Thalir started crying suddenly......she don't know what to do...she shifted to her side and tried to pacify her little sister...she showed her toys and made funny faces too but Thalir didn't seem to be in the mood to stop crying....Thulir was in the verge of crying because at that moment Innisai's words ringed in her mind.......composing herself she lifted Thalir in her trembling hand but held her little sister in firm hold not to slip her at any cost.....Thalir stopped her cries....Thulir started cradling her little sister in her arms saying sweet words cooing her..."En chella papa la....en Thanga papa....en pattu kutty Thalir...akka irukein la un kuda naa unaku onum aga vida matein thango...nee thoongu...Thalir papa good girl thane...thoongunga"(My chella papa...my thanga papa....my pattukutty Thalir...Akka is here right I won't let anything happen to you thango....you sleep...Thalir papa is good girl right....sleep....)Uyir and Jayadev who came rushing hearing Thalir's cries saw that scene in front....Their elder one is taking care of the youngest.....They slowly moved back and waited till Thulir got enough of admiring her siblings and left the room silently like how she entered..........Thalir opened her eyes only to find herself in her bed...she looked around just then Thulir entered with a tray in her hand..."You woke up...good "Thulir set the tray down on the table next to the bed and assisted Thalir to sit up. Then, taking a seat beside her, she began to feed her the soup. The stoic expression on Thulir's face had already warned her younger sister that a lecture was imminent.So not to provoke her akka more ...Without any of her usual fuss over taking tablets, Thalir swallowed the pills that Thulir handed to her....Thulir checked her sister's is still wet or not and checked her temperature..Making sure all fine  Thulir stood up to leave the room...But Thalir held her wrist and called her.."Akka.."Thulir took a deep breath, turned back, and raised her eyebrows at her sister. Thalir looked down, unable to meet her sister's gaze, weighed down by guilt. "I am sorry akka"Receiving no response, Thalir looked up at her sister, who was holding back tears.....Thalir again apologized "I am sorry akka...forgive me for my mistakes""Forgive you......really Thalir...do you have any idea how I felt when I saw you lifeless in that bathtub......my heart stopped beating for a second....how can you be this ignorant...You know no one would be at home today...you might have gone to mama's house as you get scared to be alone...then why the hell you came home and how did you end up in bathtub and  I am sure you did went inside to take bath fully clothed even without removing your slippers.....Thank god ammu called me to inform that they would get late today and you might me at mama's house and asked me to pick up you....when I called Geethu attha to inquire about you she said you weren't there and our watchman uncle said you came home in the morning and didn't went outside after that......You have no idea how restless I was till I come here and end up seeing you drowned in the bathtub....if I came half an hour late....then you would be alive now...I don't even what to imagine the other possibilities........do you lost it how can be this careless....god....I didn't informed Appa or anyone regarding this so please don't tell Appa about this stunt you pulled up....... just say you got fever please that's the only request from my side "Thulir spoke and withdrew her hands from her sister's grasp, once again preparing to leave."Akka I want to tell you something..."Thulir looked back at her sister..."Not now Thalir.....take a good rest...""Akka....please...I can't live in guilt anymore....please let me say..."Thulir inhaled deeply and settled next to her sister. Grasping her sister's hand, Thalir started recounting their story from where everything had started.........Thulir was shocked and shattered too....she doesn't know how to respond to that at the moment......it felt suffocating.....she was angry ...hurt and betrayed........"Akka...please don't hate me.....please..."Thalir was pleading her sister which didn't reached Thulir's ears at the moment........Thulir withdrew her hands from Thalir's grasp and stood up and started moving out without saying anything..."Akkaaaa"Thulir turned back wiping her  tears she asked Thalir..."Do you love him??"Thalir gulped and nodded her head......Thulir looked her sister one last time and left the room.................................