chapter 45

Agathiyan's POV"Appaaaa We didn't say anything to Amma as per our plan"Malar whispered in a husky voice close to my ear, while Alar nodded her head, signaling her agreement with her sister. That's good."Did she have any doubts?"I asked them in the same hush tone, they both shook their head  negatively."The luggage?""We have our separate one Appa...the Spiderman trolley"Malar spoke, her eyes sparkling with excitement, yet she maintained a hushed tone to avoid being overheard by Thulir, who was busy tidying up the kitchen and ensuring that every item on the checklist was marked off.She is ensuring that no snack packages are open or will expire before our return. If any are at risk, she's discarding them immediately and sealing all containers tightly to prevent insects, ants, and rats from feasting in our absence over the next two weeks......Applying ant and cockroach chalk on all corners can help prevent their entry, Emptying the fridge etc.Even though she already did those works now rechecking them once again because madam don't want to be around me and give feast to my eyes with her sexy body curves.....I mean how can I resist them......She is just hot and I can't help watching her all the time when I am at home......I think I was fool or might be blind not to notice the sexy wife of mine in past years may be after our babies birth as I got to busy with work and the transfers....she also mostly give lot of her time to them...We indeed were active in sex but that's nothing thrilling or excieting.....we know that we both are satisfied with each other in that sense but nothing more exciting about it....We stopped experimenting in that specific topic........it's not like we lose interest in each other but the spark isn't there.....as our daughters sleeps with us we rarely get alone time with each other....in those times we just do it to pacify our bodily urges........But before her pregnancy that wasn't the case....we actually talked a lot while having each other........our form of intimacy is our private talks....we didn't go to shower and move to other work and concentrate on something else after having sex.....like how it is in our post baby phase....we don't go to sleep immediately, We used to stay in bed in hours after sex gazing at each other talking random stuffs not bothering about us being naked......Now it's not like that.....Actually it was that day only after all these years we stayed in bed naked cuddling to each other and spoke randomly.....the very same day I brought the topic of another baby to make her speak......I have to accept indeed I was at fault....I didn't acknowledged how much we both are changed.......I failed to notice how accepting and calm Thulir has become in these years.....I don't remember when was the last time she fought with me or demanded something from me for her.......when is the last time I put some more effort to make her happy....or tried to impress her make her say she love me....Thulir rarely says "I Love you" and those times she really means the words she utters.....There was the time I do take lot of efforts just to hear her saying "I love you" to me.......How I started taking her for granted? when does that happen and why she didn't brought that topic to my concern all these years she is not someone who tolerates this much.....that's not my Thulir's nature at all...Perhaps it was partly my fault; I should have recognized earlier that she was prioritizing our family members over herself in every situation. She didn't suddenly become this "Perfect housewife"; it was a gradual change that even she didn't notice.Now that she has realized it, she's still considerate of me, waiting for me to find the courage to discuss it. Did I influence her to be this perceptive? I know I should be pleased that my wife is so understanding and patient.Yet, I find it difficult to be happy about it. Because I know her Thulir - The eldest daughter of Uyir and Jayadev, The Authoritative Princess of Revathi Illam.She has no reason to tolerate all this; our entire family will support her decision, no matter what. Even my own parents would back her instead of me. She's not financially dependent on me and never will be. She doesn't need to worry about others' opinions if she misses an event due to illness. She has no necessity to seek validation from anyone—she only seeks validation from herself.That's the Thulir I loved and married too....She was the same till the babies born...Did she became insecure about herself after having babies????She ceased dressing up after Delivery. She no longer seeks compliments from me. Although she was never keen on dressing up, she occasionally did so for me. If I failed to notice and compliment her, the consequences were severe. She would become upset, lecture me extensively, and I would often find myself relegated to the guest room until my apologies were accepted.Her postpartum period was quite severe; she faced numerous health issues after childbirth, which left her body weakened. It took two years before she could manage without assistance to care for herself and the babies. Right after her recovery, I received a job transfer, and she had to move with me and our babies.Initially I was against her coming with me as she just recovered, But she was adamant with no other option, I agreed, I appointed a helper to assist her with household chores and to take care of the babies. After settling down in Orissa and becoming accustomed to the surroundings...She insisted on taking care of the babies by herself, feeling guilty for not being able to do so during those two years due to her physical weakness. She believed she missed out on caring for our daughters and wanted to make up for that time by looking after them herself, without any help.Perhaps that's when it all began... I strictly maintained my distance from her over those two years, not wanting to cause her pain and also out of fear... I didn't want her to become pregnant again... it was already hard for her... I was very conscious of not succumbing to my desires at that time, so I kept my distance.Even after her recovery and moving to Odissa I kept the distance........that actually made her insecure more and yeah she end up breaking down saying I lost interest in her as she wasn't desirable for me anymore..........To make her realize how wrong she was , I was so rough on her.....she struggled to walk for a week after that......Every ounce of pent up control I forced myself on was unleashed that day, I had zero control over my actions and feasted her..... That day was still fresh in my mindAuthor's Note Okay get ready for another flashback scene...