Chapter 17 ~ Shift

"How bad is it?" Kellan called from the trees up ahead. I breathed a sigh, he hadn't abandoned me, he'd just gone into the shadows to shift back. I stared down at my ankle, it was already starting to swell the skin a vibrant red. Reaching down I ran my finger over the skin and hissed out a breath at the contact.

"It might be broken?" The statement came out as more of a question than anything. I had never broken anything before I had no idea how to tell. There was no bone poking from the skin, but even just trying to move my foot sent knives shooting up my leg.

"You need to shift." I shook my head, unsure if he could see me or not.

"No way. I told you I never want to do that again." I growled at him.

"It will heal whatever damage you've done to yourself. And you are going to have to shift at some point if you want this cure. The deal was you let me teach you, and you learn about your Wolf. You can't do that if you never shift again. I was happy to let it go before and let you work up to it. But there's no way we'll get anywhere if you can't even walk." No. No. No. No. No. I was nowhere near ready to let the Wolf escape its confines again.

I could still see Kat's terrified eyes bulging out at me as I tore her throat from her body. Still feel the gush of blood down my throat and across my face. No. I couldn't shift. Not yet. My stomach clenched at the thought. I stared at the ankle responsible for my turmoil and grabbed at the branch closest to me. I pulled on it until I was upright enough that I could reach a sturdier branch behind it. I pulled myself up to my feet and grinned once I was upright. The pain hit me a few seconds later and I slammed my hand into the nearest tree when the pain lanced through me.

"Shit," I screamed into the night, a string of other words following. Kellan ran out of the trees and lifted my arm over his shoulder to help keep me upright.

"What are you doing?" He reached down and pulled my legs out from under me, cradling me in his arms, "You can't walk on that." He snapped. I nodded my agreement with that, the pain was like a fire burning through my entire being and I'd barely put any weight on it at all. Walking was out of the question.

I rested my head on his bare chest feeling the itch of tears in the corner of my eyes. I was going to have to do it.

"I don't know how," I whispered, my fingers twirling around the soft white material of the sheet. "It's simple really. Just let go. You've spent so many years controlling it and pushing the Wolf down. Locking her up. All you need to do is let go. Let her out." He made it sound so simple. So easy. Just let go. I laughed through the tears at the absurdity of the concept.

Kellan placed me on the ground where I'd fallen started untying the knot in the sheet at my shoulder. I grabbed at his hands.

"What are you doing?" I hissed.

"If you don't undo it, it will just end up shredded like your clothes earlier. If you just untie it and lay it over yourself, I won't see anything and you can bring the sheet with you for when you shift back."

"Okay," I swatted his fingers aside and untied the knot myself. He took the hint and turned away and I realised for the first time that he was completely naked. I snapped my eyes back to the task at hand as soon as the realisation hit me and tugged at the sheet until it came loose. I draped it over my body and concentrated.

Just let go. I could feel the Wolf inside me desperate to escape, longing to come to the surface all I had to do was step out of the way. But how could I let the monster out? Just hours ago it had killed my best friend nd now I was going to set it free to do whatever it wanted. Kill whatever it wanted?

"You will be in control the entire time. You are choosing to be a Wolf tonight. It won't be because your emotions overwhelmed you like before. Trust me. Shift." I closed my eyes as he spoke, blood splattered my vision and my heart raced but inch by inch I relaxed my body and loosened my control over the change inside of me.

The moment the shift started I changed my mind. I couldn't do it. I scrambled to pull it back, to pull her back before she could escape but my bones were already snapping, my body changing shape. I screamed and pulled frantic. I couldn't let her out. Terrible things would happen. Terrible things always happened when he was free.

I stood on four legs. An agonising howl tore from my throat. The snap of a twig behind me had me lurching to the side searching for the intruder. Kellan had shifted back to his Wolf and stood tensed and ready as he watched me with those storm cloud eyes.

I flicked my ears around, listening to the sounds of the forest, filled with so much more life than I ever imagined in my Fae form. I looked down at the over sized paws covered in deep mahogany fur similar to my natural hair colour and stared at the silver aura that surrounded them. The faintest echo of violet swirled around the edges. I lifted a paw and watched the swirl of silver before glancing back over to Kellan.

The tension in his muscles had relaxed but still his eyes followed my every move. I stepped towards him. The movement felt so natural, like I'd done it a million times. Like I'd been a Wolf my entire life. I'd thought it would be strange living in this skin, that it would change me somehow but Kellan was right. I was still me.

Kat's face flashed behind my eyes and I pushed it back down. I couldn't face that right now. One thing at a time. I huffed out a breath and nudged Kellan with my nose. He pushed me back with his shoulder and stared at my feet, nudging the one that I hadn't been able to put weight on before.

Better? I stumbled back from him, head darting from side to side.

Kellan? I thought, unsure. He dipped his head.

Yeah. How is your ankle? He asked again.

It feels fine, I laughed. I'd known Wolves could communicate with each other but this was incredible!

Let's go then. Shouldn't take long now. He darted off at full speed racing into the bush. I hesitated for the briefest second before chasing after him not wanting to be left alone in these woods again. We raced full speed between the trees the easy rhythm stretched my muscles burned my lungs. It felt incredible. This is what I was designed for. I dodged trees and leapt over roots with ease, my thick coat the perfect protection from the grasping branches and vines.

My warm breath misted the cool mountain air in rapid puffs but I felt like I could have kept running for miles. All too soon the trees started to thin out and Kellan slowed to a steady trot ahead of me. I snapped at his tail hoping to urge him on a little longer but the outline of a small log cabin came into view and stopped me dead. My eyes locked on the narrow path opposite us that led right up to the cabin. Just wide enough for a car to get through and the two worn tracks on either edge indicated that was exactly what it was for.

I snarled. He whirled back to face me but the instant of time it took him to prepare was enough for me to pounce. I grabbed him by the back of the neck and rolled pulling him over. He snapped at me. Missed. I snarled again baring my teeth and lunging for his neck. He jumped out of the way and came back at me pushing me to the ground. I struggled against his heavy weight snapping at his legs.

He growled deep in his throat. A warning. I fought harder. His jaws wrapped around my neck and I stilled.

Calm down. I growled at him but didn't dare move. His canines rested firmly against my throat ready to latch on at any sign of resistance.

We could have driven, I snarled in my mind, You forced me to shift for no reason. You tricked me.

I'm sorry, I closed my eyes at his words, But now you know.

Know what? That you're a liar just like the rest of you Wolves? I never should have trusted you.

No. You know that you are in control. You are the Wolf. And you know that you enjoyed being a Wolf. My mind froze alongside my body at his words. His grip on my neck loosened but I remained where I was frozen on the ground. He was right. I had enjoyed my run as a Wolf. What did that mean? Did it mean anything? Did it matter? Wolves had still killed my family, my species and bitten me for no reason. Even if I had had fun for a few minutes I didn't want to be a Wolf. They were still monsters.

I pushed on the Wolf and forced it back into the depths of my soul. My bones cracked and moved until I was in my Fae body again. Kellan dropped his head and climbed the three steps up to the cabin pushing the door open and disappearing inside.

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