Chapter 107

ASHER

I can’t quite put into words the letdown I felt when my parents returned from the club alone. I watched their car pull into the driveway, and they got out, sharing a long embrace before heading into the house much later than I had anticipated.

The night was deep into its darkest hours, nearing one in the morning. The house was eerily quiet, devoid of any signs of life.

Through Sense, I knew that Sanctum had closed hours ago. I had expected my parents to be interrogated, but not at this ungodly hour.

I dashed out of the house toward them, the first words out of my mouth being, “Where’s Maddison?”

My mother’s soft, happy eyes reassured me that Maddison was okay, but her absence told me she wasn’t here and wasn’t coming.

“Why are you up?” Callum asked, looking at me with a puzzled expression.

“She’s in the hospital, sweetheart. Maybe we can visit her tomorrow,” my mother said, patting my cheek with a weary look before heading toward the house.

I was left standing there, more confused and upset than before, wondering why Maddison was in the hospital.

“You let her get hurt?” I accused Callum as he too started to walk toward the house.

He sighed, clearly expecting my outburst. They knew me too well.

“Violet thought it best they assess her. She…” He trailed off, searching for the right words.

I followed him, waiting for an explanation that never came.

“She what?” I asked, eager for answers as he paused in thought.

“All of the girls went to the hospital. It was procedure,” he finally said, but I wasn’t convinced.

His words provided some comfort, but not enough to allow me to sleep. My parents went straight to bed, leaving me alone with my thoughts about what might have happened during the shutdown that I was barred from due to my lack of training.

Despite my best efforts, I couldn’t stop my mind from racing. This was the most clearheaded I’d been in my adult life.

Who was I kidding? This was the most sober I’d been since my parents started giving me an allowance that I used to buy drugs.

I hated overthinking, chasing countless possibilities to answer a single question.

~Did they save every girl?~

~Did Maddison help?~

~Was she held hostage or hurt during the takeover?~

~How did Fennick react?~

~How did Maddison’s father react?~

Why was I thinking about all these things when the most important question was how Maddison was doing and why my mother thought she needed to be assessed?

Anger surged through me again, realizing that Maddison must have been hurt in some way to need an assessment.

Despite my best efforts to focus on Maddison and her situation, my mind kept wandering. But that’s just how my mind works; it’s part of who I am.

The lack of control I have over my own thoughts is astounding, and age hasn’t helped me gain any control. Drugs do…

And I have drugs here. I could just go downstairs…

The rest of the early morning passed with me lying in bed, not sleeping, but resting, as I battled with the decision to stay sober. After all, I had promised to stay sober as long as Ebony did, and she hadn’t slipped up once since that night in my apartment.

I just can’t turn off my mind, and I know why. And I’m not afraid to admit why or who has me so wound up tonight.

It’s Maddison and the lack of information about the hostile takeover. She’s under my skin, her presence in my life like a drug, making me feel invincible, happy, content, warm, and full.

Around her, my mind is calm and quiet. It’s a feeling I can’t quite explain.

Perhaps I was too hopeful, thinking my mom would rush home and spill all the details. Maybe I was too comfortable, too at ease.

I must’ve dozed off at some point, because I woke up to the harsh sunlight streaming through the bare window. It felt like a laser beam of a headache, urging me to roll over.

I was about to, until I remembered Maddison didn’t come home last night.

Jolting upright, I stumble out of bed without even glancing at the clock and start searching for my parents. I don’t have to look far. Their voices drift up to the second floor, mingling with the scent of fresh coffee.

I float down the stairs and through the hallway, entering the kitchen to find all four of my parents perched at the counter.

“Morning, Asher. Want some coffee? Breakfast?” Tyler greets me with a serene smile.

“Why is Maddison in the hospital?” I counter, ignoring his pleasantries.

My mom turns to me, her eyes wide and troubled. She looks as sleep-deprived as I feel.

“Shall we take a walk?” she suggests.

My dads exchange glances, and for a terrifying moment, my mind jumps to the worst possible conclusion. Maddison didn’t come home…because. Because. Is she…gone?

I nod, urging my mom to stand, and take her hand like I used to when I was little.

We step out into the backyard, and she picks up the hose. The sun isn’t high yet, which means it’s still early. Mom always waters Leo’s tree early and late in the day.

“Mama, I need to—”

“She tried to kill herself,” she blurts out, walking toward the tree with the hose, not looking back at me.

“What? Why?”

“She’s hurting, Asher. Her life hasn’t been easy. She’s…not perfect.”

“That’s not true; there’s nothing wrong with her,” I retort, anger flaring.

“Not physically, Asher. But her mind… It’s twisted. She wasn’t in her right mind last night. She needs help, and delaying that help will only make things worse.”

“Can we visit her?” I ask, recalling her promise in the middle of the night.

“Of course. They’re expecting us at some point today.”

“What happened last night? Did everything go as planned?”

“For the most part. There were a few unexpected casualties,” she recites, as if she’s sticking to a rehearsed story.

“Who?” I ask, bending down to pluck some weeds from around Leo’s tree.

“Her father and the owner of Sanctum, Fennick,” she reveals.

“But without them, who’s going to answer for all the harm those girls suffered?”

“We have Fennick’s partner in custody. And a few of Maddison’s father’s men as well. But I agree with Maddison’s decision. There’s a certain relief in knowing the man who hurt you can’t hurt anyone else ever again.”

“Wait, Maddison did that? She—”

“Yes, Asher. She shot them.”

That should make me feel sick, make me wary of her, but it doesn’t. I feel nothing. No reaction in my body, mind, or soul.

“But you can’t tell anyone, okay? This stays between us,” she implores.

I look at my mom, seeing the earnestness in her eyes and the worry that I might spill her secret.

“I promise to keep it a secret,” I assure her, pulling her into a hug.

For some reason, I need her embrace. My mom’s hug.

“Asher?”

“Yes, Mama?”

“Can you do something for me?”

“What is it?”

“You’re doing so well with staying sober. Would you consider going to AA meetings? It could help you maintain your sobriety in the future.”

Her request surprises me. I hadn’t realized she’d noticed my sobriety. But then again, she’s my mom. Don’t they say moms know everything?

“O—kay. Find me a meeting, and I’ll go…as long as you come with me,” I agree, holding her tightly.

I can feel her smile against me. It radiates through her entire body.