Chapter 130

MADDISON

A wave of anxiety washes over me as I retreat from the room with a fervor I’ve never felt before. I don’t utter another word, and Grayson doesn’t approach me again, though his face falls, clearly disappointed.

~What did I just do? How am I going to fix this?~

I don’t return to the top floor. Instead, I descend to Asher’s apartment, my mind nearly numb with the realization that maybe Atticus was right.

~Do I deserve his brother?~

~Should Asher be with someone like me?~

~Do I…do I love him?~

These thoughts consume me as I put one foot in front of the other, heading home. Heading to…

As I enter the apartment, I hear raised voices; Atticus and Asher are arguing in front of the windows that overlook the evening cityscape.

They’re arguing about me.

Atticus beat me to it…

“Great, tell him where you’ve been. He thinks you’ve cheated on me.” Asher moves to my side immediately, his arm wrapping around my waist protectively as if I were the most precious thing in his life.

~God, what have I done?~

I glance at Atticus, then shift my gaze to Asher when I see worry etched on Atticus’s face.

Asher’s eyes hold anger—anger and hurt that aren’t directed at me, not yet.

“I…” How can I deny what I’ve just done?

How can I hide the truth that I did kiss Grayson upstairs in his private room, that I enjoyed it, and part of me didn’t want it to end?

But I stopped—I stopped because of Asher.

Because of Asher.

My silence is deafening, and I see disgust and anger flash across Asher’s face as he realizes that something did happen.

“Out!” he yells at Atticus, making me jump at the sheer volume of his voice.

Atticus doesn’t argue with his brother, clearly knowing what’s expected of him.

I watch in agony as he leaves the apartment, leaving me alone with Asher in the wake of my silent confession.

I don’t move as Asher shows Atticus out; the sound of his footsteps and my rapid breathing are the only noises in the room.

But he comes back to me, his hands gently touching my arms as he stands behind me.

“What did you do?” he asks in a tone I’ve never heard him use before. It’s dark and threatening—much like Atticus’s was with Grayson earlier.

“A dom kissed me…,” I whisper, feeling a wave of shame.

“Just kissed you?” he asks, his grip on my upper arms tightening, becoming almost painful.

I nod. Yes, that’s all we did… I stopped it, I want to say, but I can’t find my voice.

“You are mine.” Asher leans in, his voice low and seductive, speaking directly to my soul.

“I know…”

“Do you?” he chuckles, a sound filled with nothing but malice.

He spins me around, gripping my jaw to force me to look into his eyes. They’re aflame with anger, fury, and desire—a mix I hadn’t realized I wanted to see in Asher’s gaze.

~Did I do this on purpose?~

~Did I provoke this reaction?~

Mr. Fennick always doted on me when I pushed his limits, always preferred it when I sought out my punishment…

Asher surprises me, lifting me over his shoulder and carrying me through the apartment with ease, only to set me down at the foot of our bed.

He tears my shirt open, buttons scattering across the room and onto the floor, then does the same with my skirt, leaving it in tatters at my feet.

Stripped down to my underwear, I feel exposed—but my mind doesn’t care; it craves this. It’s thrilled that I’ve elicited this response from Asher.

He strides toward me, pushing me down on the bed, then rolls me onto my stomach.

“Atty tells me I’m not good enough for you, that I don’t know what you want. What do you want, Maddy? Huh? Do you want me to spank you?” he asks, slapping my backside roughly and without care.

His movements are erratic, hitting the same spot three times.

A cry escapes me, his hand harsh, the skin instantly aflame and throbbing from the impact.

Then, he reaches between my thighs, tugging at the fabric that covers me there.

The material tears with a loud rip. My heart pounds in response, and my breath hitches.

Why am I so aroused?

“Do you want me to make you want me?” he questions, pushing himself inside me, his length filling me swiftly as my body naturally accommodates him.

My physical response to such an encounter surely informs him of my desires, yet a part of me feels a pang of sadness.

Why does this moment feel so bittersweet?

Asher takes me, truly uses me for all he can get, and even though I’m thoroughly enjoying myself, even though he’s satisfying me in a way I’ve craved for weeks now, I don’t reach my peak.

Instead, he leaves me on the bed, discarded as he immediately retreats to the en-suite. The shower runs, and the sound of water hitting the floor is a soothing balm.

~That was…so fucking good!~

I lay on my stomach, watching the bathroom door for any signs of Asher returning, yet sleepiness beckons me to surrender. With each passing moment, I struggle to keep my eyes open.

***

I wake to the sharp smell of cannabis filling my nostrils, causing me to shudder.

Opening my eyes, I see Asher in jeans and a T-shirt beside me in bed, a joint in hand, and smoke swirling around us.

“Asher…,” I whimper, knowing this is my fault, that my actions drove him to this. Guilt swallows me, and I feel like a complete piece of shit for pushing him to this.

“Shh! You’ve done enough, Maddy,” he murmurs to me, his hand reaching out to caress my cheek.

“Put it out, Asher. You don’t need that,” I plead, my words accompanied by tears of regret.

“Why don’t we stop pretending, huh? I’ll find my high in the drugs I love; you go find your high in room 1302… He’s still there, waiting… expecting you.”

“Asher—”

He yanks me up the bed by my hair, his eyes dark and tainted, his features icy. Disgust lurks somewhere deep within them, and that only makes me disgusted in myself.

He chuckles, shaking his head as he takes a drag from the joint rolled into a large spliff in his other hand.

“Come?” he demands, pulling me along with him by my wrist.

“Where are we going?”

“You’ll see…”

He drags me with him, despite my state of undress, and even though I resist his grip, he tightens it as he pulls me out of our bedroom, out of the apartment to ride up in the elevator.

“Asher, please…”

“Shut! Up! Fuck. Just. Shut. Up.”

I swallow as he pins me with his body against the inside of the elevator, his hips holding me in place as he smokes the weed that’s causing his behavior.

I don’t recognize this version of him, and I don’t think I want to…

I certainly don’t like him like this.

The doors slide open, and he pulls me down the hall as I try to resist him. Though we move enough for him to knock on Grayson’s door, rendering my struggle futile.

The security all move toward us, toward me. Their eyes assess my near nakedness as I try to hide behind Asher. He glares their way angrily.

“Don’t take another step,” he orders, banging on the door again.

“Asher,” one of them calls to him, but the door opens before us. Grayson assesses both of us as Asher pushes me inside, following right behind.

I hate to admit that my eyes roam Grayson’s body; he’s wearing nothing but boxers. His skin is tight, and his muscles are defined as he steps back to make space for the two of us.

His eyes meet Asher’s, and for a moment, he seems confused, looking at him as if he thinks he should recognize him but is questioning whether he does.

“I hear you want her,” Asher hums as he walks to sit on the sofa, exhaling a cloud of smoke to fill the room with its scent.

“What the fuck?” Grayson asks me as I stand wide-eyed, trying to use my hands to cover myself fruitlessly.

He moves away, leaving the room only to return with a bathrobe that he hands to me, wrapping it around my body to cover me before he turns to Asher.

“Sure, I’m attracted to her, but there’s no need to present her to me like she’s some secondhand, half-dressed doll. Good lord.”

Asher’s demand slices through the tension, his eyes flicking back to us. “Sleep with her.”

I can’t help the gasp that escapes me, my eyes growing wide in shock.

“Take her to your room and sleep with her,” Asher orders Grayson, his teeth bared in a snarl that’s more animal than man.

Grayson’s gaze flickers between us, sizing me up before he turns back to Asher. Then he laughs.

It’s a laugh tinged with nerves, but he uses it to mask his emotions. He orders Asher to leave.

“I don’t know how high you are, but I don’t play by other people’s rules. I suggest you go back to wherever you crawled out from,” Grayson growls at Asher, opening the door and positioning me protectively behind him.

Asher’s laughter rings out, a sound so unhinged it makes my stomach churn. Then he rises, a smirk etched onto his face as he saunters toward us.

“Oh, I get it. You want some privacy, huh? Well, she’s all yours; she’s secondhand anyway.”

Grayson lunges at him, his fist connecting with Asher’s face with a sickening thud. They both tumble to the floor outside the doorway, causing the security to rush forward to break them apart.

All I can do is close my eyes and wish this was all just a nightmare. I crumple to the floor, tears scorching trails down my cheeks.

~We were happy, weren’t we?~ I think to myself. ~We could have made it work. Was I just oblivious, or is this all my fault?~