Chapter 52

ASHER

Maddison has been a constant presence in my apartment for the past few days. She, along with the other two, has made herself at home, and Maddison has chosen not to share my bed again, much to my relief.

They’ve taken over the spare room and the bed, but it doesn’t seem to bother any of us. I value my personal space, and I don’t think I should have to share my room with anyone.

Especially now, when I haven’t been with anyone in a while and I’m starting to feel the urge to be with someone. And speaking of urges…those drugs in my bedside drawer have been calling out to me.

I think that’s why I’ve moved them to the safe in my walk-in closet. I’ve cleared out the entire drawer and locked everything away.

A wave of nostalgia hits me as I consider giving up the drugs—the memories of coming down from the high still fresh in my mind. But every time I waver, I think of Eb and how she’s struggling to hide her symptoms.

And that brings me to tonight, Tuesday night, as I lay in bed hoping for sleep to come so I can be ready for work in the morning. I can’t call in sick again…can I?

It’s a little past midnight when I hear movement outside my room. I assume one of the girls needs something, and I go back to ignoring the sounds of someone moving around my apartment.

But then my door handle creaks, turning slowly and silently as the door swings open. It feels like a scene from a horror movie, and for a moment, I pray that there isn’t someone on the other side with a gun ready to shoot me.

But it’s just Eb, slipping into my room, and I sit up immediately. I think I startle her, causing her to jump back as her hands fly to her chest.

Her hair falls forward, covering her face like a curtain in a theater.

“What are you doing in my room?” I ask, my voice sharper than I intended.

My voice is deep and hoarse, not exactly welcoming, but then again, she’s broken the only rule I set, which isn’t easy to accept. The only thing I asked of Addison and Eb was to stay out of my room, yet here she is, standing in my room without permission, wearing nothing but a pair of panties and a tank top that clings to her slender curves.

“I,” she stammers, taking a step closer to me.

Her long, pale legs move one in front of the other, drawing my eyes to them.

I sit up even more, the bedding falling from my chest to pool around my waist as I watch her approach me in silence.

“Yes?” I ask, my tone softer and more inviting than before.

She surprises me by sitting on the edge of my bed, her hands reaching out for me. I should stop her—but I don’t.

Her hand touches my cheek, and I feel the warmth from her sweaty palm as she moves closer. In a sudden burst of confidence, she straddles my lap.

For a moment, I lose my judgment, my hands caressing her bottom as I pull her closer, our eyes meeting. We’re breathing each other’s breath, her exhale brushing against my cheeks, making my skin tighten in anticipation.

And I think I’m having the same effect on her because she sighs, her eyes closing for a moment before opening again, something burning deep within them. A strange surge of energy radiates from her, warming me from the inside out as we sit in silence.

~What the fuck am I doing?~

Before I can finish that thought, she leans forward, her lips finding mine, and for a long moment, we kiss.

My hand finds its way into her hair, holding her close to me. Our bodies press together, her thighs tightening around mine.

Every point of contact sends a jolt of heat through me. But then a voice in the back of my mind, sounding eerily like my three fathers, speaks up.

~No!~ it says. ~This is wrong; she’s too young. Too…~

She pulls back first, her cheeks flushed a deep red as her eyes drop to the bedsheets. I take that opportunity to lean back on my arms. I put some distance between us, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened.

The room descends into a silence so deep and dark it’s begging me to break it, but I’m at a loss for words. I can’t explain why I let that happen, why I even encouraged it.

I can’t justify why I just took advantage of this girl, the one I swore I wouldn’t touch.

“What the hell was that?” I demand, my voice laced with anger.

It’s unclear whether my rage is directed at her for showing up here in the first place, or at myself for letting it happen and enjoying the damn kiss enough to feel a tingling sensation coursing through my limbs.

“I know you have drugs… I… I’ll do anything you want. Just give me something to stop this itching,” she pleads.

I roll my eyes, biting the inside of my cheek as I take in her words. She’s here looking for a damn fix, and I’m letting her use her body as payment.

Frustrated, I push her away, disentangling her thighs from mine before I scramble out of bed and pull her along with me.

“I’m not giving you anything. I’ve told you before. If you want to shoot up, go buy it yourself.”

“I can’t. I don’t have any money or know anyone who deals around here,” she sobs.

Her tears appear out of nowhere, eliciting a deep reaction from within me that I find repulsive.

I drag her through my room and shove her out the door, slamming it shut on her surprised face. I berate myself as I head to the bathroom.

Why the hell did I let that happen?

~Because you’re going through withdrawal too, Asher. You know it.~

That’s not good enough. That’s not a good enough reason!