Chapter 90

ASHER

I wake up to a cold, empty bed, even though I distinctly remember Maddy—she asked me to call her that—coming onto me in the middle of the night. My lack of self-control only encouraged me to let things happen between us, as she climbed on top of me and took control in a way she never had before. It was mind-blowing, to put it mildly, and then we cuddled.

Yes, you heard right—we cuddled. I held her so close to me that we practically became one as we slept. Her warmth kept me warm, and the steady rhythm of her heart beneath my palm was as comforting as the beat of music through speakers.

But now she’s gone, leaving me to wake up alone and feeling a sense of loss. I sit up in bed, glancing around, hoping she might just be in the bathroom or taking a shower, but I don’t hear any water running, and the bathroom door is slightly open.

It’s disappointing. I would have loved to wake up with her next to me, maybe kissed her and told her how beautiful she looked in the dim light last night. But she’s not here, which means I can’t do any of that, and it would feel awkward to bring it up later. Maybe she left my bed because she felt embarrassed or regretted what happened…

I chuckle at myself for thinking such things and decide to get up and take a shower. I’m supposed to go over to Nana’s today to help Atty rebuild a fence that fell down due to old age. He asked me to help him last night, and I couldn’t say no.

Spending time with him feels right, and it’s been too long since we last hung out. Fixing the fence is something Grandad would have done when he was alive, but he’s not here now, and Nana needs help. It’s usually one of us grandsons who steps in.

I take a shower and put on some old clothes that I don’t mind getting dirty. Part of me wants to bring the girls to Nana’s and show them the beautiful place she’s created. I know Nana will make them feel welcome and nourish their spirits.

I have no doubt she’ll do exactly that. I head downstairs, looking for Maddy, Addison, and Ebony, but they’re nowhere to be found. Only my mother is in the kitchen with my little sisters. She’s cleaning up after breakfast, scrubbing the countertops even though they already look clean.

“Asher,” Lorelei greets me, hopping down from her chair like Batwoman, then running over to me and jumping into my arms.

She kisses my cheeks while Indi follows suit, begging me to pick her up too.

“Morning, girls,” I say.

They both fuss over me, distracting me enough to take them out to the yard, where they want help climbing the play structure that’s been there since I was a kid. I watch them for almost half an hour as they climb up and slide down over and over. And every time I tickle their little tummies, they giggle before running off to do it all over again.

I have to admit, my parents make adorable kids, which gives me hope that one day… ~Scratch that thought!~

“All right, girls, I have things to do. I’ll see you later for dinner,” I tell them, heading back inside, where I find Ebony and Atty standing at the kitchen island with Mama.

“Where are Addison and Maddy?” I ask, making my presence known.

Ebony shrugs at me, and Atty doesn’t say anything.

What’s worse is my mother looks guilty as sin, still cleaning her already spotless kitchen, which is very unlike her.

“Where’s Maddy?” I ask again, more forcefully.

Everyone exchanges glances, and I know—they’re keeping something from me.

“Atty?” I prompt. “Where is she?”

“She’s gone,” he replies without looking up from the kitchen island.

“Gone?” I echo. “Mama,” I call.

She doesn’t look at me, instead turning around to put the lids back on the stove.

“Mama!”

“She’s gone back to the club,” she murmurs, sounding ashamed.

“What?!”

They all fall silent, looking at me as if I might explode—and I just might. They knew I wasn’t okay with that, and I’m definitely not okay with it after last night.

There’s something about her, something that frightens me. I haven’t figured out what it is yet, but I’m sure it’ll become clear in the coming weeks. And then I look at Ebony.

I thought there was something between us, too, but that’s when I realized that, sexually, she doesn’t hold a candle to Maddy. She doesn’t stir any desire in me when we’re in bed together. What I feel for her is a powerful urge to keep her safe.

It’s almost as if she’s become a sister to me. Only after last night did I fully grasp this.

“Where’s Dad?” I demand, my voice echoing through the room.

“He’s not here,” Atty replies, her voice steady and honest.

“Mama?” I call out, approaching her from behind. How could she let this happen? How could she stand by and do nothing?

“Yes, baby boy?”

“Why did you let him take her? You should have stopped him, woken me up. You, of all people, know the horrors that await her,” I accuse, my words harsher than I intended.

“Asher,” she snaps back, stung by my words.

“No, Mama. How could you? I—” My voice trails off, words failing me once again.

~I what?~

~What was I about to confess?~

~That I might have feelings for the girl who trusted me enough to let me be with her on her own terms?~

Even to me, that sounds absurd.

“I know, Asher,” my mother murmurs.

We barely know each other, and there’s certainly no time to build any emotional connection. I’m being foolish, getting attached because I feel a need to protect her.

I storm out of the house, heading toward Sense. Someone there must be in contact with him. That’s how they operate—a team is always a team, even if they’re in different locations.

The walk is short, and I let myself into the building, making my way to the common room. Only six people are there, all hunched over their computers.

“Who’s in contact with my Dad?” I demand, my tone stern.

“He’s out on a job,” Elizabeth informs me.

“I know. He has Maddy. I need to talk to her immediately!”

They all turn away from me, exchanging glances before turning back to face me.

“She’s already returned to Sanctum,” Arnold reveals.

I let out a frustrated growl before storming through the door and heading upstairs, hoping to find Dante. He’ll definitely have a way to get in touch with my Dad.