Interviews

Theo hadn't slept. The kiss kept replaying in her head over and over again. It was wonderful, magical, electric and she couldn't stop beating herself up about it. Ava had asked her, she knew that, but that didn't mean that Theo needed to let it happen. Ava was lost, Ava didn't know what she wanted and Theo took advantage of it. It wasn't intentional, Theo just got so entranced in the kiss that she didn't register what she was doing. She could still feel the weight of Ava pressed up against her chest, arms wrapped around her shoulders.

Theo had been so fidgety all night and morning that whatever nails she had were gone, her fingernails chewed past the fingertips. As the sun rose in her window she vowed to push it out of her head, for the time being, there were bigger things to worry about. Like, Morgana. Morgana had gotten increasingly more desperate to rid herself of Quartermaster and was giving Theo hell about it. To be fair, Theo had been promising Morgana for close to four cycles that she would begin the search. Theo had given Xyra her prospective candidates list and Xyra had tasked herself with rounding up the candidates and offering them an interview. Of the four on Theo's list, only two had agreed to come up for an interview.

Theo didn't understand. Why couldn't' she get anyone to take the job? It was a decent amount of work but the Quartermaster got extra shares per bounty and had one of the best cabins on the ship. Plus, it was less manual labor and more talking. To be honest, Quartermaster was just a glorified gossip. The only two people that agreed to an interview were Xiomara and Skins. Xiomara was a sailor and had been on the crew for a while. She was eccentric but sweet and had a good relationship with most people on the ship. Theo was hopeful that she would be a good candidate for the job until she sat down with Theo.

"Xi, thanks for meeting with me on such short notice," Theo said politely.

"You got me the day off with Navi, I should be thanking you," Xiomara said.

"That's my treat," Theo chuckled, "I know you know why you are here so I'm just going to go right into it. I picked you as one of the candidates for Quartermaster. I think you would be a good pick becau-"

"I'm going to stop you before you go any further because I must inform you I am not interested in the job," Xiomara interrupted and it took Theo every ounce of willpower not to roll her eyes into the back of her head.

"Why did you take the meeting?" Xyra asked from her position behind Theo.

"I wanted to speak with Theo about something," Xiomara replied.

"Xi, you can have an audience with me any time. My door is always open," Theo said and rested back against her chair, trying not to let out a sigh.

"I know but the opportunity presented itself and I took it," Xiomara reasoned.

Theo took a moment to walk away from the edge of hysterical laughter. She had a feeling this search was going to be useless and that dread mixed with no sleep was pushing her to a breaking point. Once she was ready, she spoke back up.

"What is it you wanted to speak with me about?"

"I would like to propose a room change."

"Xiomara, if it's the fucking trunk room again," Theo trailed off, unable to think of a threat.

"I have made changes to my proposal!"

"It already went to a vote. There will be no trunk room," Theo commanded.

"I just don't understand why," Xiomara exclaimed.

"Because you have a room. Your entire cabin can be a trunk room. It can be filled with trunks. That is why you have one," Theo tried to get Xiomara to see the reason why.

"But I don't want a room. That is why I live in the lower decks," Xiomara replied.

"I am aware. But you are still entitled to a room on board. This means you can put whatever trunks you need in your room, the room that you can request at any time," Theo stated.

"But that takes away the sense of community," Xiomara threw back, "the trunk room is for everyone."

"Why would you want your belongings stored away with someone else's? What if they steal them? What if your things get mixed up?" Theo asked, genuinely baffled at the conversation that was happening.

"Can we just put it to a vote again? I have new ideas for it that I can present."

"Fine," Theo sighed, "We can put it to a vote."

"Thank you," Xiomara got up and said her goodbyes and walked out.

Theo didn't even have to say anything, Xyra just put her hand on Theo's shoulder and rubbed it reassuringly.

"Go get Skins?" Theo requested and Xyra walked off.

When she returned, it was with Skins. Skins took a seat and greeted Theo.

"You know why you are here?" Theo asked.

"Aye," Skins said and crossed her legs, "to figure out why you picked me to interview for Quartermaster."

Her phrasing was not promising and her tone wasn't either. There was no excitement or ambition in her voice.

"Your name was brought up by Ava," Theo explained, "She made a good case for you. You know all of the women. In your short tenure here, most of them have been indebted to you. It means you've got a relationship with them. You trusted them with your money and now they trust you."

"I'm in carpentry. I know fuck all about being a Quartermaster," Skins argued, "Most of those women weren't even paying me back. It was Ava that helped me solve that."

"You are the only one up for the job right now, Skins. I would suggest you don't dig a hole for yourself," Xyra chimed in.

"I'm not even technically a pirate yet. I haven't taken my oath," Skins continued, ignoring Xyra.

"We can get you the votes. You wouldn't be here if we couldn't," Theo informed.

"It's too much for me right now. I just got here. I've dealt with too much chaos in my life and I finally found a place I can just relax and be at peace. If I take this job on, that peace is gone," Skins said.

"Listen, Skins, this is a good job. It's work but you get an extra share of our profits," Theo tried to sweeten the deal, "If you get voted in before Gossem you would be bringing in 600 gold coins."

"I don't need the money. You have already provided me more than I will ever need and with Ava's new plan I will get more than my share," Skins said, "I don't want it, Cap. Sorry."

Theo sighed and nodded, "Alright. See yourself out when you are ready then."

Theo pulled a baggie of Ravci and a pipe from her drawer and walked out onto the balcony. She stuffed the pipe as best she could, the wind carrying some herb away in the process. She looked down at the fresh pipe and cursed, she didn't have anything to light it with. A throat cleared and when she turned around Xyra was standing at the doorway, inside the cabin. She had a candle and some twine in her hand and beckoned Theo inside.

Theo took a step inside to cower from the wind and Xyra lit the pipe for her. She took a long inhale then exhaled the smoke that had built up in her lungs, "You are condoning drug usage on the job? Might need to get a new first mate."

"I wonder if the reason I am an asshole is that anytime I'm nice, you treat me this way," Xyra chuckled and put the candle on the nearest surface. Theo stepped out onto the balcony and Xyra joined her.

Theo offered the pipe to Xyra who refused and Theo took another long drag. They stared at the ocean in silence. It was calm and the ship was steady on the water.

"Was that as unnecessary and ridiculous for you as it was for me?" Theo asked with a laugh.

"Aye," Xyra said, "but most things are unnecessary and ridiculous to me."

"I mean," Theo continued, barely letting Xyra finish, "how hard is it to say, 'No thank you, I'm not interested in the job' when asked if they wanted to interview for it."

Theo took another hit but this time it was harsh and her lungs were quite angry. She coughed for what seemed like an eternity and when she was finally done, the world was on the verge of spinning. She was in the clouds.

"You were a bit testy with the both of them in there," Xyra pointed out, "You didn't sleep well last night. What's going on?"

Theo would ask how Xyra knew but she knew better. Xyra was so tuned in to Theo's emotions that she knew the captain better than she even knew herself sometimes. Theo had a tell for when she had a restless night, irritation, and baggy eyes. There was nothing that made Theo more on edge than a night with no sleep and Xyra knew that.

"Nothing. Just stressed," Theo said and tried to take another hit from the pipe but the light had gone out.

"About Ava," Xyra said, it wasn't a question. Xyra had gone to borrow Ava for the morning but Tuni had informed her that Ava had taken the day off. That coupled with Theo's attitude made a tiff between the two obvious.

Theo's head whipped over to Xyra and Xyra just chuckled at her friend.

"So I was correct. A lover's spat," Xyra teased and Theo shoved her slightly to get her to shut up, "What happened?"

Theo considered keeping her mouth shut about it. She still hadn't told anyone what they were doing, training in exchange for reading lessons. It's not like anyone asked either, not even Xyra or Cooker. But Xyra would know what to do, how to move on from what had happened. She would know how Theo should approach the situation. On the other hand, Xyra could also give her a lecture. Tell her she should've known better than to allow herself to get close to a recruit and a koldi. Maybe that is just what she needed to hear.

Theo groaned and then put her head down on the railing of the balcony. She knocked her head on the wood gently a few times before resting it there. Without looking up she finally spoke up.

"Ava kissed me."

Theo couldn't see Xyra's reaction but she assumed it was bad.

"How is that not a good thing?" Xyra asked but there was no shock or outrage in her voice. Just confusion.

"What?" Theo looked up at Xyra, "She kissed me. Didn't you hear? She kissed me and I kissed back."

"Still failing to see the problem."

"There are so many problems!"

"Then please lay them out for me because all I see is that the girl you were pining after finally made a move," Xyra raised an eyebrow.

"It's not like that Xyra. I am her Captain. She's a koldi-"

"Has she told you that?" Xyra interrupted.

"No."

"Then why do you assume she is? She fucking kissed you. Doesn't seem very koldi to me," Xyra said.

"It's a power issue too. She is my subordinate," Theo tried to get Xyra to see the issue.

"Again, she kissed you," Xyra repeated and Theo groaned and put her head back down, "I'm serious, Theo. Did you coerce her into that? Did you make her believe there would be positive consequences to a kiss? Did you promise her anything in return?"

Xyra knew the answer was no, Theo would never do that. So, Theo stayed silent.

"Exactly," Xyra said, "so are there any other misguided notions I need to shut down?"

"Xyra, they aren't misguided notions. She is young and naive and I need to be careful with her," Theo argued.

"You are treating her like a child that cannot make her own choices and that is not the Theo I know," Xyra scolded and let the statement hang in the air before continuing, "Alright, so she kissed you and then what happened after you kissed?"

"I ran away," Theo said, barely above a whisper.

"You what?" Xyra palmed her face, "You are hopeless."

"It's not fair to her, Xy. I know I'm being repetitive but she deserves better. She's young-"

"-You're basically the same age," Xyra interrupted but Theo went on.

"-She's new to this, I don't think she knows what she wants."

"Have you spoken with her since then?"

"No."

Xyra sighed, not an annoyed sigh though. If Theo had to pinpoint one emotion behind it, it would have been sadness.

"I am going to say something and you cannot be Theo about it, pay attention. I need you to heed my words. You are treating yourself like a predator. You are not what you think you are," Xyra pulled Theo's arm so Theo was facing her. She shook Theo's shoulder so Theo was forced to look up Xyra. Xyra waited patiently until Theo looked up at her before continuing.

"She may be young but so are you. Just because you like her does not make you some kind of sick fuck. I think you see so many men take advantage of women that you assume that you are the same. You may be interested in women, as are they, but you are not like them. You have not made any advances, she's the one that came to you... You deserve happiness and I think she makes you happy."

Theo soaked in Xyra's words. It was like her first mate had reached into her mouth and scooped out the contents of her soul. All she thought about the night before was how she took advantage of Ava. Of how she led Ava on and made Ava think she wanted to kiss Theo. She thought about how it made her no better than the captains that preyed on the newcomers and forced them to perform non-consensual acts for a room on board. It was a false narrative of herself, one she had built up in her head. Theo felt tears appear in her eyes but she quickly blinked them away. Xyra was right. Theo was building up something in her head that was not true. She hadn't crossed any lines with Ava. Ava was an agent to her desires and Theo had been overlooking the fact that she was capable of her own choices and Ava had made the choice to kiss her.

And that is when it set in. Holy fuck. Ava had made the choice to kiss her. She had been so adamant about not making it happen and then adamant she was in the wrong that she hadn't processed it yet.

"I should probably talk to her," Theo dumbly stated.

"Aye, that is probably the best idea."

"I'll do it once I finish up for the aftermoning," Theo promised herself.

"One last word of advice on this before I become nauseous of the thought of you and Red," Xyra said ominously, "be Careful, It was a kiss. Do not dive in headfirst, Theo."

"What do you even mean?" Theo said knowing full well what Xyra meant. Little did Xyra know, it was too late for that.

"I mean, it was just a kiss. It might not be more than that. It might just be a fuck too. Don't put your heart and soul into this girl unless you know she is ready to give you hers," Xyra said and Theo scoffed.

Xyra loved to dish out relationship advice while she was in the middle of whatever mess she was in the middle of. But once again, Xyra was fucking right. Theo needed to talk things out with Ava and understand what was going to happen moving forward. She couldn't be lead on again, not the way Viv did. She couldn't pour everything into someone who didn't like her back. Maybe it was just a kiss and Theo had to be okay with that.

"Duly noted," Theo said and handed Xyra the pipe, "Put that back in my drawer. I have work to do."