Riva, Are You There?

Theo was about 30 minutes from the nearest sign of life on land when she brought her horse to a halt. She had managed to secure one from the small stables inside the guarded walls of the manor. She had ridden it along the coast until finding a suitable spot to set up for a while. There were some greenery and rocks that hid a secret beach in between it. Theo maneuvered the horse down to the spot and tied it up. She took off her boots, then pants then pulled off her layers of shirts.

Theo let the sand crunch under her feet and the ocean's wind whip across her bare body as she walked towards the water. The waves were small and made a calming noise crashing against the beach as she entered the ocean's embrace. The water was cold, borderline freezing but the blazing sun warmed the skin above the water. She waded farther and farther into the ocean until only her head was above water. She lifted her feet off of the ground beneath her and kept herself upright in the water, slowly moving her limbs to keep her above water. She let her tense body relax as she listened to the symphony of the sea. Birds cawing above her, waves crashing below, and the rustle of far off bushes.

Theo stopped holding herself upright and let herself float. Ears beneath the water, her face barely protruding out. She closed her eyes and felt the cold from the ocean and the heat from the sun balance out. She felt serene. The ocean had always been her safety net and it always would be. It took her as she was, regardless of the acts she had committed. She allowed herself to be cleansed by the ocean, she let the blood on her hands wash off and fade away into the blue abyss, literally and metaphorically. After what felt like hours she righted herself and looked around.

Theo had managed to float a little way out but began to swim back with ease. She took the swim at a leisurely pace and eventually found her feet touching the sand again. She walked up out of the water and over to where she had set up. It was a few hundred feet away from where she had floated off to but Theo eventually found the horse and her clothes. She had no intention of clothing herself and instead walked back out towards the water, toeing along the line where the ocean waves ended and the drier sand began.

Every few feet, Theo would bend down and dig through the sand until she found a seashell or a piece of coral that she thought was pretty. She collected them until her hands were full and then walked it over to her clothes, dropped it in a pile then went back to collecting. She did this many times and by the time she was done the sun was hanging low in the sky, threatening to begin to set at any second. Theo knelt next to her pile and began to pick through the shells and corals she liked best then slowly arranged them into a shape.

She finished just as the last bits of the sun was peeking over the horizon and she sat on her haunches and admired her work. In front of her was a sigil made of shells and coral, set in a pattern she had been doing since she was a child. In the middle of the sigil was a circle, a full moon. Inside the full moon were three slightly curved and wavy lines, representing the ocean. Above it was a crescent moon facing left with a series of lines and dots in the concave area of the moon. The sigil for balance. Below the full moon was a crescent moon facing right with dots and lines in it's concave area too. It was different from the top crescent, less equal, and parallel, it was the sigil for chaos.

Theo looked back at the sunset and waited for the oranges and pink hues to fade into darkness and once it did she was able to get started. Theo placed a hand on either side of the full moon and closed her eyes.

"Riva, I call upon you for a conversation so that I may continue to work towards the tenets you have set for me," Theo began to say in Aelizan, already feeling choked up for some reason. It was words she had repeated a thousand times, the summoning of her god. She regained composure and cleared her throat, "I know it has been a while. I have not been able to find a suitable time or a place to pray please forgive me..."

Theo opened her eyes and looked at the sigil then up at the moon for any sort of sign that her god was listening to her. Riva, the goddess of the seas, did not require her followers to engage in constant worship or praise like other gods. She would rather communicate with her believers when they were ready and had enough time and a clear mind to speak with her. Theo had none of that in the recent cycles and hadn't been able to pray since they left Dove Island before their raid on the army camp. It had been a long time but she had gone longer, Riva always had her back no matter the amount of time between her prayers. But recently, Theo had not felt her presence or her blessing and was afraid of what that meant.

"If I have done anything to throw the balance off-kilter I apologize as it would have been an accident. I try and leave good in the wake of my chaos," Theo explained, "I haven't felt you and I just wanted to know if I did anything so I can work on correcting it. Righting the balance."

There was nothing. Not even the noise of ruffling leaves. Theo continued despite the gnawing at her chest that something was wrong, that she had lost favor with the sea.

"There is a lot to tell you. Just in case you haven't been watching I will do the best I can to recount it for you," Theo said and then pulled her hands away from next to the sigil and put them on her lap.

She launched into retelling their adventures up the Efritian coast. She talked about what happened at Alenroux and even though they couldn't stop the destruction they helped those they could. She talked about the new crew members, her new quartermaster, and talked about how Cooker and Xyra were doing. Theo then began to explain what had happened at the Tuskeri manor.

"I made the call to kill them all. I left one, he was a boy and he had no business there. I think he was just a helper from the kitchen," Theo said, any wall of certainty and confidence she had at the time of making the call was gone and replaced with vulnerability. There were emotions and thoughts only Riva got to hear about, "I think it was the right move. They had no qualms about killing me and my own and there were no assurances they wouldn't do it to another pirate. They were also traders and I know I shouldn't harshly judge anyone but they were scum and their deaths saved the lives of thousands."

Theo was silent for a little bit, letting Riva take in the information. She didn't answer, she rarely did during prayers. Theo hadn't done anything worthy of being given a sign, she had only left destruction and death in her path up the coast. First with Alenroux and then with the Tuskeri's. She felt guilty, a weight at the bottom of her stomach that wouldn't fucking leave. It was the kind of feeling she had after a large fight where multiple people died at her command. No matter how many kills or how many times she had done it, the after-effects were the same. The feeling of thinking she was a monster after it happened never went away. She knew that most times her kills were justified and necessary but it still didn't help her feel any better about herself.

"We've lost a few since we last spoke," Theo picked up some of the shells she had left apart. She placed one down at the bottom of the sigil, "Moira died trying to provide for her crew and her ship."

Theo placed another one down, "This one is for Hops. She died this aftermoning trying to protect me and the crew. These were good women, Riva, please take care of them."

Theo felt her throat tighten as she picked up the last two shells. She placed them down next to each other and felt the tears slip out of her eyes. Theo let the hot droplets fall down her face and she looked up at the moon, unable to speak from the sorrow that had arisen in her chest. Flashes of what happened that night in Alenroux were persistent in her memory.

"Pika and Bari," Theo said through a choked sob and set down two shells, "killed by soldiers."

Theo shut her eyes tightly and tried to keep the emotions and the grief from rising but it was no use. The dam had broken and the tears now came in waves, not drops. She fell forward and pressed her forehead into the sand and let herself openly cry for the first time in so long.

"I could have saved them. In the chaos, I didn't remember. If I had checked on them, they would still be alive. She would still be alive," she whispered into the ground between her sobs, "I took Bari from Xy. I should have done more. I should have done more."

It was a while before the tears stopped and she could calm herself. Once it passed, Theo took a deep breath and centered herself, she sat upright and opened her eyes again. She let the last of her tears roll down her cheeks before she wiped them away, little grains of sand sticking to her cheek afterward. Theo felt a hand on her back, comforting her. She would have reacted in a panic had it not been right in the center of her spine, where the ink on her back was the same as the sigil on the beach.

Theo smiled to herself and looked up at the moon. She didn't turn around, doing so would be useless as she would find nobody there. She reached a hand behind her and touched her back; it was dry in all places but on her tattooed sigil. There were droplets of water left there. Theo smiled a bit. Riva had heard her. Those Theo had presented to her under the moonlight would be taken care of wherever their spirits had gone when they died. She couldn't turn back time and save any of them but she could make sure their afterlife was good.

Theo grabbed her falchion that she had set aside earlier and put her right hand to the blade then sliced it across her palm. She placed her hand on the sigil of the full moon, her cut pressing against the shells that represented the waves. She winced as her hand pressed against the coarse sand but she pushed past it.

"I ask for protection. For both me and my crew and anyone in need that we encounter. I ask that you guide our way with calm seas and give me the strength and wisdom to make the proper decisions," Theo tried to keep her requests limited as to not wear out Riva's good fortune, "and I ask that we make it Corinspe safely."

Theo stood up and left the sigil in its place, crimson at the center of it. Theo walked towards the water and waded a few feet in then kneeled down. She lowered her bloodied hand into the ocean and watched as the water around it grew darker. Then all of a sudden the water was clear, the waves having dragged the blood away.

"I promise to uphold your tenets and teachings. I promise to never use your gifts for evil," Theo recited her goodbye, something she had learned when she was barely five lengths old, "I am your dutiful follower. Bestow upon me your blessings and I will not flounder them. Thank you, Riva, for listening."

Theo stood up and walked out of the water. The darkness around her would have been calming if she wasn't always looking out for the next attacker. She managed to pull her clothes, pack up her things, and mount the horse in a timely manner. As she trotted away she looked back at the secret spot she had found and watched as the waves lapped up onto the shore, just barely out of reach from the sigil. Once the sigil was out of sight she kicked the horse into a gallop and prepared for a long ride back.

------

Theo walked in just as Xyra was getting ready to call a search party for the Captain. Ava had been sitting in the Captain's quarters with Cooker, Morgana, Navi, and Xyra for the better part of two hours. They were awaiting Theo's return from wherever she went off too. Xyra seemed to know where Theo was but she didn't share the information with anyone so Ava didn't pry. She had decided it would be best if she took the time to read so that is what she was doing when Theo finally made it through the doorway.

Theo stopped and looked around the room with a slight frown before walking to her wardrobe and peeling off most of her clothes. Sand was stuck to her bare arms, easily visible against the black ink there. She walked to her desk silently, sat down, and waved her hand to instruct everyone to sit. Ava noticed a bandage over Theo's hand that hadn't been there before and she wondered what had happened to it. Where had she gone?

"Theo," Xyra said and then laughed a bit. The joy a sharp contrast from Theo's tense mood, "where do we even fucking start?"

"The loot, in my opinion," Morgana said from her spot next to Ava.

Xyra handed Theo a folded up piece of paper and Theo took it. She opened it and spent a minute looking it over before looking up at the crew with a furrowed brow. She then looked back down at the list and back up at them.

"This can't be real," Theo scoffed and threw the paper onto the desk, "We've counted and double-checked inventory?"

"Triple checked," Cooker butted in.

"Aye, we had the whole crew down there helping," Xyra said.

Theo narrowed her eyes and picked up the paper and then scanned it again. She put her bandaged hand over her chin and stood up, "Navi, get the crew ready for sailing. We have to get the fuck out of here."

"Theo, there is a lot more to discuss," Cooker interrupted, "We don't even have a route."

"We don't need a route right now, we need to get miles away from the coast in the cover of darkness. It is better to get out into the water then have this meeting than to wait any longer. What we have in that cargo hold we cannot lose. Did you forget someone put out a hit on us? We will sail a few miles out and drop anchor to figure out our shit," Theo insisted then walked out, calling out for Navi over her shoulder.

Morgana followed them but Cooker and Xyra stayed inside the cabin. Xyra let out a frustrated grunt and made a rude gesture towards the door Theo had just left from.

"Hate it when she does that," Cooker complained and then walked to Theo's desk and started to open her drawers.

"Does what?" Ava asked and both of them looked at her as if they had forgotten she was there.

"Is actually a Captain," Cooker joked and kept rummaging through the drawers.

"Is stubborn and won't listen to us," Xyra joined in.

"Gets all pissy after killing people," Cooker followed up.

"Walks away without saying anything," Xyra unloaded.

"To be fair, you all do that," Ava interjected and she was met with glares. She laughed a little and held her hands up in surrender.

Cooker went back to her task at hand and Xyra joined in shortly after, helping go through Theo's drawers. They were bickering back and forth about trying to find whatever it was that they were looking for and Ava couldn't help but laugh at the display. It was like two sisters arguing. They were older than Theo but were currently acting like the disgruntled younger siblings of a mean older sister.

"What are you doing?" Ava finally got up and tried peeking over to see what they were doing.

"We are taking her drugs and we are going to use them," Cooker said and Ava raised an eyebrow.

"Don't you have a lot of that in your own room?"

"Aye, but it's more fun when the supply isn't yours. We are pirates, we steal," Cooker reminded and then ducked under the desk.

They eventually found what they were looking for. Xyra let Cooker do all the hard work and soon enough they each had a dragon's breath cigarette in their hands, including Ava. Ava didn't object, she figured if she was at the top of the chain of command and the only other two people she reported to were the ones that offered it to her then she would be fine. She didn't remember how strong the dragon's breath was but it got her very high. Ravci and Havcera were nothing compared to this.

It was several hours, Ava would have guessed around four before Theo made an appearance again and in that time they had sobered up enough to be able to have a functional conversation. The smell of the lingering dragon's breath in the room was not lost on Theo. She made a beeline straight to her desk and began to reach around under it for where she had stashed it last. Finding it gone she reemerged from under her desk with a scowl and glare in the direction of Cooker.

"Shall we begin?" Theo asked in a pointed tone and sat down.

Navi and Morgana had rejoined and Iona had found her way up there as well. There were no objections and Theo sat down at her desk and procured a new list from her pocket. She unfolded it and looked over it one last time before looking up at the crew.

"This is the quadruple-checked inventory list from Miss Yurwa, I had some girls recount," Theo said and then placed it on the table, "43 thousand gold pieces and ten thousand silver pieces."

The air was sucked out of the room and Ava looked between everyone, they all also seemed shocked. Even Xyra and Cooker who had been in charge of the inventory when Theo was gone and had already seen the numbers.

"That's an additional 3 thousand gold from the last count," Cooker's mouth was agape.

"And that is not even counting the jewelry, the gems, the golden artifacts, the coats and furs, or the priceless books in their collection," Theo said then let out a laugh. She quickly covered her mouth and composed herself. She looked at the edge of hysterical laughter, "We have the life's fortune of both the Tuskeris and then Wedfries."

Morgana who was standing up had to find a seat. Everyone was silent. 43 thousand gold was a lot of money, even for Ava.

"I say we ditch piracy and just start looting traders then," Morgana joked but no one in the room laughed. It was one of those suggestions that everyone considered, even if it was just for a brief moment.

"We can start buying a fleet," Xyra said and it earned her a round of nods.

"I don't want to jump into anything. We can't go flaunting this money around. Pirates will start to ask where we are funding the expansion from and they'll go looking around for our treasure," Theo strategized. Ava could tell she was thinking hard about what would happen, "First thing we have to do is decide how much money a share is."

"I say we give everyone the 350 they were promised for the delivery to Gossem. The rest goes in the ship's fund," Morgana suggested.

"You'd be telling a bunch of pirates that we are hoarding an extra 30 thousand gold," Navi reminded. If they only distributed 15 thousand, some people were bound to get upset.

"As if 350 gold is not a lot of money," Cooker scoffed, "They can pick out any of that useless fancy shit we brought along. And if they want to sell it then that'll bump their share way up."

"Aye," Theo said, "If we keep the rest of the gold and the gems and let everyone on the crew pick what they want from the rest of our loot I am sure they would be understanding. There is so much shit in that cargo hold that everyone will be walking out with countless shit valued way over 350 gold."

"We'll call a meeting first thing in the morning then," Xyra said, "We can debrief everyone on what happened."

"Get the word around then," Theo nodded, "Let's move on to the route. Navi?"

"Wait," Cooker walked towards the desk and set some papers down, "congrats on your new businesses."

Theo picked up the papers and flipped them back and forth confused as to what Cooker was getting at, "What?"

"You've got the deed to two businesses in Gossem now," Cooker explained, "Had some free time and I knew we weren't going to be in Gossem for long so I checked in on some of our places. Turns out the herb shop was employing unpaid laborers to get their stock and the brothel in town was giving ugali to its girls."

"What the fuck, Cooker. You should have led with that," Theo shoved the papers in Xyra's direction so she could read them.

"To be fair, I tried to tell you but you stormed off,"

"I'm sure me now owning two more businesses was a thought you could have fit in somewhere," Theo didn't take Cooker's excuse, she was snappy that night, "Telling me after we left Gossem was convenient because then I couldn't go back and reverse ownership or calculate my own deal with whoever is in charge now."

"Fine, you're right," Cooker admitted, "but I didn't handle anything in a way you wouldn't approve of."

"Go on," Theo prompted.

"I upped your percentage to 15 but only because I know they both rake in profit. The girls are turning the brothel into a tavern and inn and the herb shop is going to be run by the owner's apprentice. He's the one that snitched," Cooker said.

Theo steepled her fingers in thought and tapped them against her lips then nodded, "Very well. Since you've been so adamant on getting me involved in land businesses you will be the one to keep track of them."

Cooker nodded and then took her seat. That was the best-case scenario for Cooker. Ava now realized just how much of her own power Theo curved in order to keep things equal on the ship. Theo could have kicked Cooker off the ship for disobeying orders or attempting to subvert the captain if she really wanted to.

"Anything else?" Theo asked and looked around.

"I don't think we should do any raids," Morgana spoke up.

"I second that," Xyra hopped in.

Navi raised her hand a bit, "Aye. I agree."

"That makes three," Theo said, "your reasoning?"

"We've got a load of injured women from the Tuskeri raid. There were a lot of them and our girls were outnumbered. Losing just one was a feat of the gods. I don't want to put them in any unnecessary danger. We've got the gold, let's just go to Corinspe," Morgana advocated for the vanguard.

"We don't want to risk losing all of this money. There are people after us, the Tuskeris confirmed that fact. Pirates are being hunted and we don't know why or who is ordering it," Xyra explained her side of things, "I say we go straight to bury our treasure."

"We have a price on our heads. I know we aren't talking about it more because there is nothing we can do but we were about to be the victims of whatever the fuck is going on. Let's get the fuck away from as much danger as we can. For all we know, these ships will be armed to the teeth waiting for us to raid them so they can kill us," Navi gave her reasoning. Her hypothetical was far fetched but being the target of a hit by a random unknown source was too at the beginning of the sun.

"Noted. Navi, start plotting a course straight to Corinspe. Looks like we'll be getting there a bit early," Theo ordered, it seemed like the most logical decision to make.

"We aren't raiding at all?" Cooker asked.

"We are going to be passing through the northern shipping line anyway so if the opportunity presents itself we will. Morgana is right though, no unnecessary risk to our people," Theo figured a middle ground would be best. They wouldn't give any easy targets up but they weren't going to go looking for them.

"Is that all?" Theo spoke again and she received no answers, "We'll set sail at first light. Xyra, tell everyone we will have a meeting in the last hour of the morning. You all can leave now."

Everyone got up and began to shuffle out. Theo didn't look up or make any move to acknowledge Ava, a stark difference from that morning. Ava got the hint and also stood up and left. She was the quartermaster and that came with the territory of Theo also treating her like a co-worker and not just like a friend.