Last Nights Together

Ava had not woken up with Theo next to her a single morning during their stay there. Theo would manage to slip out before Ava woke up and would do who knows what. That morning though, either Ava was well-rested or Theo wasn't as subtle with getting out of bed but it woke Ava up. Not immediately, she kept her eyes closed just a bit longer before rolling out of bed. Outside, she found Theo doing pushups, wearing what she had been wearing for most of their time there, a breast band, and some loose pants. How Theo managed to stay warm only wearing that was beyond Ava, Theo claimed that it was because she stayed near the fire but there was more to it, it was a supernatural ability to retain body heat.

Theo paused when she heard movement and looked up mid-push-up to see Ava walking out of the house and to the fire. Theo dropped her gaze back down and continued her exercise, muttering what Ava thought were Aelizan numbers. Eventually, Theo dropped her knees to the ground and sat back on them.

"You're up early," Theo commented as she caught her breath, "did I wake you?"

"Aye, but I am glad you did. Been curious as to what you had been up to these past mornings."

"Haven't been training as hard as I used to and figured now would be a good time to get back in the habit," Theo explained, "wanna join? I'm doing some strength training and then I'm going for a run."

"I'll do the run," Ava said then yawned, "not the rest."

"I'll come to get you when I'm ready for the run," Theo said and shooed Ava away with her hands, "make yourself scarce. No peeking."

"I'll just nap in the hammock until you're done," Ava held her hands up and backed away but Theo didn't restart until she was in the hammock and facing up.

But Theo was a fool if she believed that Ava would not defy orders and look over. It was too tempting not to, the promise of a front-row seat to taught muscles and sweat couldn't be resisted. She had always wondered what her sisters' obsession was with watching the soldier boys train at their estate but now she got it. Theo was unyielding. When Ava thought Theo wouldn't be able to go any longer, she kept pushing herself. Ava's training was nothing compared to what Theo was doing. Push-ups, squats, high jumps, more pushups, something weird that looked hard and like Theo struggled with it

There was a routine to it, one that Theo maneuvered expertly and Ava was more than delighted to sit back and enjoy a show. She was still sleepy, having been spoiled with long hours of sleep in a dark, not rocking room had left her wanting more. Ava saw Theo begin to walk towards the hammock and Ava suddenly regretted agreeing to the run. There was no way she could do it.

"Ready?" Theo asked, taking a deep breath as she stopped in front of Ava.

"I've decided I cannot join you, I am afraid I have forgotten how to use my ankles and they simply won't support my weight," Ava shrugged and let out a small, quick sigh, "oh well."

Theo laughed and leaned forward, bringing Ava's chin up with her finger, and placed a soft kiss on the redhead's lips before pulling away, "I hope your ankles feel better soon, I will be back."

Ava was convinced that Theo was going to make her go. While she was more than thankful for the lack of pressure to go run, she was in the mood for something active. Just not a run.

"Maybe when you come back, we can spar or something? Train?" Ava asked and Theo broke out into a wide grin, nodding quickly.

"Aye," Theo leaned in and pecked her lips again, "I will make us some breakfast and then we can train. I found some eggs on my walk to the spring for water so we are going to be eating like nobles this morning!"

Theo backed away, giving Ava a wink before turning around and jogging away. Ava laid back in her hammock with a happy sigh and eventually fell back asleep. She awoke to lips against her forehead and a hand running through her hair.

"Morning, exal," Theo whispered, "I've got breakfast ready for us."

Ava didn't know it was possible to wake up blushing but she had. Breakfast wasn't exactly one of nobles but Theo's most valiant effort was put in and it paid off. They had let the food rest for a bit before jumping into training. They had trained until the sun had set and even beyond that, only stopping for a quick meal at lunch. Ava didn't think she had been more exhausted since the first day she trained. They decided to forgo dinner altogether and instead rest in bed. Theo's head was on Ava's stomach, body half laying on top of Ava. Ava ran her hand through Theo's hair as she felt Theo's breaths even out. Sleep was going to take her away soon and Ava had been itching to ask something the whole sun.

"Captain," Ava started, strategically using the name.

"This should be good," Theo muttered, teasing but only a little.

Ava gathered as much courage as she could and then spoke quickly, "I want to train to be on the vanguard."

"I'll tell Morgana to set up training sessions with you while you are on your journey together," Theo said and then yawned, "after that, it is out of my hands, she'll decide from there. "

Ava didn't think it would work. She had geared up for rejection, failure, an argument. After all that time, it was that easy, no convincing needed. Ava didn't know whether to say thank you or check Theo for any injuries to her head. They had some pretty nasty takedowns while sparring early in the sun.

"Really?" was all Ava managed to say.

"I've underestimated you almost every step of the way. You have yet to fail to rise up to a challenge," Theo shrugged, but it was more like a barely-there wiggle of her shoulder. "figured I could at least let you try."

Ava didn't know how to respond; she just slid down to make herself comfortable laying down, "Thank you."

"I don't think I'll ever be able to say no to you again," Theo chuckled, slow and deep. Sleep was laced in her laugh.

"Just like I planned."

--------------------------------------------------

Their stamina during the had been alone at The Grotto was quite impressive, even by Theo's standards and Theo's standards were high; one time after having been celibate for four cycles she had gone on a five-night sex bender and did little else but sleep and sleep with others. Ava was insatiable and Theo wasn't surprised, Theo was too when she had first had sex and honestly, she felt that same hunger with Ava. Which is probably how they got to where they were, catching their breaths after an eventful morning. Theo's stomach was growling and Ava laughed. They were animals, they had skipped dinner the night before and had yet to eat breakfast and still had the energy to go at it.

Ava was laying on her back and so was Theo. Theo looked over at the redhead who had a lazy smile on her face, her eyes glassy and content. Theo rolled onto her stomach and draped an arm around Ava, holding her tightly as Theo's cheek squished against Ava's ribs. She felt fingers light tracing her tattoos, a pastime Ava had grown fond of. The pattern of Ava's breathing meant there was a question coming and she didn't know when was appropriate to ask. A quick, yet deep breath in, three beats holding it, and then an exhale, preparing herself for speaking and then failing to follow through. Theo almost laughed anytime she noticed it happen but she didn't want to tip Ava off that she paid that much attention.

While Theo gave Ava grief about her incessant questioning, she felt almost excited to share with Ava, to answer her questions. It was something that terrified Theo but she couldn't help it. Theo couldn't get enough of Ava, both physically and emotionally, and Ava seemed to feel the same. Their conversations during their time alone had opened so many new windows into who Ava was. Theo felt herself hopelessly slipping down a muddy hill and straight into the pit of love. Ava's laugh graced her dreams at night and her ears during the sun and their conversations left her enraptured, longing for the next one to come along.

Theo tapped Ava's side with her finger, "What's on your mind?"

"Just thinking about your tattoos," Ava replied, "what do they mean?"

"Which one?" Theo looked up at Ava.

"All of them."

Theo laughed and put her head back down on Ava's side, "I'm sure you'll find out what they all mean eventually but there is too much to get through in one sitting. Do you remember the ones on my neck?"

"I do," Ava said as her hand slipped to the middle of Theo's back and her soft fingers traced the full moon that her spine crossed through, and then she felt Ava run down each of the waves inside of the moon, "this is the one I want to know about now."

"Riva's sigil," Theo said.

"What does it all mean?" Ava asked.

"The top crescent represents order, the bottom one represents chaos, and the full moon represents balance," Theo recited the meaning behind the symbols.

"Why?"

"Those are her tenets, bring balance wherever you go. Too much order stifles and too much chaos destroys. I am to leave chaos amongst the orderly and leave order amongst the chaos. I am to never leave a place more unbalanced than I left it and never be the reason behind the imbalance. If I stick to those tenets, Riva looks down favorably on me and I sometimes reap the rewards of her power," Theo recited the tenets she had heard so many times.

Religion and Riva were something special to Theo and she rarely shared her beliefs or who she worshipped. Theo had been hesitant at first, when Riva was first brought up a few cycles before, to share with Ava. She was afraid of judgment or ridicule from the redhead, most rich people didn't understand religion, didn't understand that the gods were real, but Ava showed no signs of prejudice. If anything, there was only a growing interest.

"Do you comply with her requests? Do you bring balance?" Ava asked as she continued to trace the sigil, finger never leaving Theo's skin.

"To the best of my ability, aye," Theo nodded.

"And you reap the rewards?" Ava asked.

Theo flipped onto her back, one arm coming back to prop her head up. She looked up at Ava then at the ceiling and shrugged, "I call, she answers. I ask, she gives. So, safe to say I do reap the rewards."

"You keep saying you talk to her and she answers when you need her to, but how?" Ava's face was adorable, scrunched in concentration, "When you pray to her, she'll come to see you? Like she just appears?"

Theo laughed, "Not quite. Sometimes I'll feel her presence or her touch on my sigil even when there is no one there. Sometimes she'll come to me in dreams or her voice will, sometimes she sends me signs."

"Signs?"

"Aye, like last time I prayed to her she sent me a few signs. I usually swim to the ocean entrance of the grotto on nights I pray to Riva," Theo prefaced, "I was swimming and there was a large sea creature under me, large fins, sharp teeth, far too fast to outswim and it didn't hurt me. When I swam into the grotto and I went to my usual prayer spot, there was a turtle laying there before it left and slipped into the water. On my way back, I came across three starfish."

"We are in the ocean though, how did you know those were signs and not just coincidences?" Ava asked and she seemed slightly stressed out. It didn't sound like she didn't believe Theo, she just seemed frustrated she didn't understand. Ava was once again not clued in on what others felt or knew.

"I usually get the signs when I am thinking about or speaking to her about something. The signs are usually relevant to what I am worried about or asking about,"

"I know it's personal and I've already asked a lot but what did those signs mean? How do you know what they mean?" Ava asked and Theo wondered why it mattered so much to Ava, why she cared if she had never believed before.

It was personal to Theo but it felt like Ava was going through her own thing and Theo was the only one around to help.

"While I was swimming, I kept thinking back to the proposal. Did I make the right choice pushing it? Is that really the best idea? What if I am leading everyone into a bloodbath? I felt something below me and there it was. A creature I have seen swallow men whole, just swimming at my pace below me. Escorting me all the way to the entrance of the grotto. It was her way of showing me that there were going to be dangers on our journeys but she would protect us, she would protect me."

Ava nodded along, it seemed like she understood a little bit better now. Ava's face was both terrified and shocked at Theo's retelling of the story and it took her a bit to wrap her head around, "That makes sense, the sign, but how did you know what it was supposed to mean?"

"I just did, it just came to me. I think that is because I have a bond with her, I know what she tries to tell me. It wasn't always that easy, sometimes I still have trouble trying to decipher what she wants to tell me," Theo reassured, it wasn't every time that she understood or even caught the signs that were given to her. As she got older and with more time, she got better at it and it was almost second nature, but not always.

"When I got to the grotto, I was remembering how Cooker had to come to my rescue in discussion quite a few times, how the votes were able to be whipped by yours and Xyra's notes, my challenge being fought by Xyra, the fact that I haven't been away from them in so long. I was beginning to doubt if I could do it, the mission, without everyone by my side. That is when I saw the turtle, for Aelizan's turtles mean wisdom and self-sufficiency. I knew she was telling me that I was enough and that I was going to be able to manage the crew without Xyra, Navi, you, and the others."

"And the starfish?" Ava asked, less strained now. Theo's explanations seemed to be helping her understand. Giving her whatever clarity she needed.

"I spent a lot of my prayer time with her going over mistakes I had made, both on the trip to Corinspe from Gossem and during the pirate meeting. Sharing with her how I felt, how I was immature and selfish and how I was afraid that those things would trip me up in the long run and endanger those around me," Theo realized, a bit too late, that as she was sharing about the signs she was also sharing what had been bothering her at the beginning of the trip. Ava was getting a front-row seat to Theo's problems and she hoped Ava didn't mention it.

"The starfish were two black ones and one that was stark white. The two black ones were side by side, one had three legs missing and the other didn't, telling me to get over it. The white one was there to symbolize her love for me, her belief, her stamp of approval. I've gotten that one before. The black ones were to tell me to get over my mistakes, use them to learn and grow, and to trust my intuitions. I've also gotten those before but never all at once."

Theo finished but Ava didn't answer. Her chin was resting on her palm, fingers covering her mouth. She looked pensive and almost confused but Theo saw her shake her head then her blink a few times, and look down at Theo. Theo raised an eyebrow and Ava took in a deep breath like she was going to say something but just held it in. Theo took the time in silence to sit up and put an arm around Ava, pulling her in.

"There seems to be a lot on your mind," Theo commented.

"Aye, and there seemed to be a lot on yours too," Ava deflected, "your brain.... The way it works fascinates me. You think of so much all the time."

"Sometimes I wish I could stop thinking," Theo chuckled a bit but squeezed Ava's shoulder, "something else is on your mind though. Care to share?"

"What is the moon? Is that Riva's symbol for something, cause there are moons in her sigil," Ava asked like she couldn't' keep the question in anymore.

"Her sigil has moons on it, aye but Riva is represented by the ocean, that is her domain. Inside her sigils are waves, calm and chaotic. The moon is her wife, Janei," Theo smiled remembering the stories she was told of their love by the first priestess of Riva she ever met, "Janei is the goddess of rebirth, of change, of enlightenment. Her tenets are to find perfection amongst the flaws in things, help others change, never stop changing, and to seek knowledge."

Theo has always been fascinated by Janei and how well Riva's tenets aligned and melded with her wife's. Ava didn't even seem like she was paying attention, she was biting at her thumbnail in thought.

"Why do you ask?" Theo tried to get a good read on her face.

"The other night, after my name dropping, I looked up at the moon and I felt something," Ava shrugged, "I hadn't thought much about it. Just thought I was caught in the moment and there were already a lot of emotions. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time but the more that I think about it, the more I feel as if it meant more. I looked up, I felt a tug to the moon, and I promised to be a good person and repay the kindness given to me by spreading it myself."

"I think you accidentally just pledged yourself to a god," Theo teased and Ava's head whipped over and her eyes were open wide, "I'm joking. But I do think maybe you should sit with that for a bit, maybe consider visiting a temple or trying to have a conversation with her."

"Aye, maybe," Ava said and shook her head, "I'm sorry for going down this whirlpool. How about I cook us breakfast?"

Theo laughed and tossed the blankets off of herself and started getting out of bed, "No offense, Red but I don't trust you with that, rich girl and all that. I'll stick to the cooking. How about you prepare us a bag of stuff and we can go to the grotto for a bit?"

"Off with you then, go cook me breakfast," Ava leaned over and tried to smack Theo on the ass but Theo dodged away as she pulled pants on.

As Theo worked on breakfast, Ava packed a bag with some blankets, a fire starter, and some of Cooker's treats that were packed for them. After breakfast, they went down to the grotto and spent most of their day there. Theo gathered driftwood from around the cavern and started a fire for them. Theo dipped into the water for a bit but Ava only got her feet wet, opting to stay onshore. They had each eaten a hefty amount of barg root which was supposed to give them a rather fun trip but it hadn't kicked in yet. Theo was showing Ava different dovish letters by tracing them in the sand.

"How'd you learn dovish?" Ava asked, chin on her knees as they were pulled up to her chest.

"Was sent to an orphanage for a few cycles and they taught us dovish, didn't learn how to speak it there I just learned the alphabet," Theo chuckled, "I learned enough to carry on a conversation later in life."

"The orphanage was in Dove Island?" Ava asked.

"No, it was in Aeliz. The one that we send all the children to," Theo informed her, "the people who run it are from Dove Island hence the dovish curriculum."

"Why were you in an orphanage?"

"Uncilo dropped me off there for a few cycles when I was nine," Theo shared, "there was a target I needed to take out only a two-mile trek from the orphanage. He could've sent any of us but he chose me because I was acting up and he needed me away from the girls."

"Nothing you tell me about him makes me think he's a good person," Ava admitted, "I know I've mentioned it before but I just don't get the glory that surrounds him."

"He's done a lot for this community, a lot for the island," Theo argued.

"So I've heard," Ava put her legs flat on the ground and leaned back on her hands, "how did you come to be on his crew?"

"Xyra, Cooker, and I had just been wandering from ship to ship, port to port. Sneaking into cargo holds, stealing coins and goods from docked merchant ships, anything we could to get by. I was seven and a half, give or take a few cycles, when we tried to pull our most ambitious heist yet," Theo groaned a bit at the memory then laughed.

"It was so awful. We were caught redhanded and the captain of the merchant ship we were stealing from was about to make us be servants on his ship until our debt was paid, and was most likely to sell us as labor before that time was up. Uncilo was docked right next to his ship and saw the whole ordeal from his deck, offered to pay him for us and the merchant agreed."

"He bought you?" Ava asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Don't be ridiculous," Theo chuckled, "he paid off our debt, he gave us food, a place to sleep for a few nights and then let us go at the next port. Except we had nowhere to go and his hospitality was something we hadn't ever experienced and we asked if we could stay."

"So that is how you became pirates," Ava said.

"Aye," Theo nodded and continued to draw symbols in the sand, "we started to do odd jobs around the ship to earn our coin, we were planning on only staying until we had saved enough to be safe on money for at least a length but we just never left. We got good at things, we were needed, we made money and Uncilo cared for us so we didn't think it necessary to leave."

"How did you go from odd jobs to becoming child mercenaries? It just seems like a bizarre jump," Ava said, the edge in her voice had not gone away. She sounded angry but she wasn't.

Theo shrugged, "At the time, Uncilo had been picking up more and more hit jobs. The merchant routes were oversaturated and business lied elsewhere. There was a high profile job that Uncilo needed our help for. I don't think he ever intended it to go past that but after we did so well on that job we just kept getting more. So he put in the time, and the energy, and the money, and we were trained to be the best."

"But why?"

"Because we were quick, we were smart, we were moldable, we were trainable, we were inconspicuous, we were little girls who no one blinked twice at," Theo let out a sigh and fell back onto her elbows, "he invested into us and it paid off."

"Invested how?"

"Well, he brought the best onto the crew over the lengths we were with him," Theo said, "experts in combat, in the alchemical, in going undercover and changing oneself. He paid them, they trained us, we went out and made money."

Ava shook her head, she looked miffed, disgusted, disbelieving, "you were trained to be assassins."

"Aye, quite literally," Theo's tone was nonchalant as if it was a thing that happened to everyone, "we each had our strengths."

"Which were?" Ava asked, her tone was one of interest but her face was one of disinterest.

"Cooker was a natural with poison and anything explosive, Xyra could torture a motherfucker until they spilled everything and I was sent in for stealth assassinations. Killing someone in a crowd without anyone seeing, sneaking into their room at night, things of that sort," Theo replied, it was as if the ease in which she said it was because she never fully unpacked what she had been asked to do so young.

"And you were fine? All of that death and that pressure and you just carried on," Ava pressed.

"Absolutely not, it fucked me up," Theo admitted, finally looking over at Ava, "but no more than anything else the world threw at me would have, plus I got paid more than my fair share for the jobs."

"Theo..." Ava didn't know what to say, it sounded like so many excuses for a man who was not worth it, "I don't get how you can be around someone like that. That put you through that knowing how wrong it was."

Instead of reacting badly to being questioned, Theo just shrugged. She didn't expect Ava to understand and it didn't bother her that Ava didn't.

"He threw us commencement anniversary parties every length. When he went into town, we went along with him. He took us on trips, showing us the sights of Baethos. He would buy us gifts when he thought of us and see us off to bed most nights. He was in the infirmary with us when we were sick and he defended one of us when the other two were ganging up on them. He taught us everything we needed to know to be prepared to succeed and survive in the world," Theo explained her case, eyes never leaving Ava's. Theo smiled, it was a bit of a sad one, "Uncilo was a pirate captain, not a father. He had never expected to have to take care of three young kids, he did his best. I owe him my life."

Ava had run out of things to say, she just nodded. The redhead didn't seem totally convinced by Theo's explanation but it didn't matter. Theo knew who Uncilo was, despite what it looked like, and the impact he had on her life. She understood he wasn't the most ethical but he tried to make up for it.

Eventually, the sun started to set and the borg root was settling in and they decided to go back to the house. Ava had been through the journey enough times to not get seriously injured on the way back, but the intoxicated feeling definitely made her finish the trek through the mountain with some scrapes. They were so high it took them a very long time to make dinner which ended up burnt. They stuck to some fruits instead, being very careful with the knife used to cut it. The somewhat tense conversation from before was nowhere in either of their minds as they enjoyed the brisk night.

After their fruit dinner, they didn't manage to do much except lay by the fire, like most nights. They were both lying down, their heads next to each other but their bodies facing opposite directions. Ava had her eyes on the stars and without breaking contact with the sky, she reached around with her arm trying to find her waterskin. When she found it, she attempted to take a sip laying down but she immediately ended up choking. She turned on her side and coughed out the water, catching her breath after. Theo was looking over, just being a spectator, as if Ava was acting at the tavern and Theo was just a patron. When Ava finally laid back down, Theo chuckled to herself.

"I almost drowned," Ava attempted to garner sympathy.

"Used to be afraid of drowning," Theo recalled, ignoring the near-death situation Ava had just faced.

"I used to be afraid of finding myself stuck in a maze, never able to get out," Ava shot back and Theo couldn't help but laugh.

"What are you afraid of now?" Theo asked.

"Messing up everything I've worked towards, my life on the ship being suddenly taken from me," Ava answered after thinking about it for a while, "you?"

"Being the reason Cooker or Xyra die," Theo answered, barely missing a beat. Like it was something always on her mind.

"Oh," Ava's breath caught in her throat, Theo cared so deeply about those in her life, "Do you have any other fears?"

Theo laughed, "Plenty."

"Like?" Ava pressed on, barely even registering that she was once again going down a question rabbit hole with Theo.

"You being on the vanguard and getting hurt," Theo said but the way it came out made it seem that Theo was trying to keep it in.

"Seems like your fears are just those on your crew and those close to you getting hurt," Ava pointed out and she heard Theo huff out a chuckle. Ava had paused and looked at Theo, breaking her gaze away from the stars. Theo sensed it and turned her head to look at Theo too.

"Anything else for you?" Theo asked.

"I'm scared maybe one of the girls will want to fight me one day and I won't be prepared for it," Ava laughed a bit and Theo joined in, "Like Mor, she is strong. I couldn't ever take her."

"I would take her for you," Theo said with a goofy smile, "you can just tap me into the fight."

"Thank you for that but honestly, I'm not too sure you would be able to fight her off either," Ava deadpanned and Theo didn't take it as an insult, she nodded and hummed in agreement.

Ava leaned over to kiss Theo on the check and then eventually moved her head back to look at the sky, saying nothing else. They were both in their own worlds, the borg root transporting them to a different reality where the stars shined brighter and everything looked alive. Eventually, Ava wanted to touch Theo but didn't want to get up or move around too much. She dug her feet into the sand as an anchor and pushed herself back a bit so her head was near Theo's hips. Their hands were parallel like Ava had wanted, and she reached out to hold Theo's hand. Theo laughed at Ava's not-so-subtle move and rubbed her thumb over the back of Ava's hand.

"Do you ever think of just running away once you've made enough money? Like leaving it all behind and finding a random island to settle on and never be heard from again?" Ava asked, out of nowhere.

"No, I wouldn't settle down on land. If anything, I would find a small ship I could sail by myself and go out to sea, never to return," Theo indulged Ava's hypothetical.

"Is that your goal?" Ava asked.

"Can't say it hasn't come to mind every so often, but it's not something I can do."

"You don't have the money yet?"

"I've had enough money to retire since I was 13, finances are not what's keeping me from leaving, my crew and my commitment to the pirate life are," Theo squeezed Ava's hand, "Is that your goal? Get enough money and then run away?"

"No, I have other plans," Ava hummed.

"Ominous," Theo nudged Ava, "want to share?"

"I'm going to right my parent's wrongs, all the pain they caused, all the money they stole, all the people they mistreated," Ava sounded confident like she was going to change the world.

Theo felt that way when she was a child and sometimes she still did, she still held out hope that she could make a difference in the oppressive state they lived under.

"I think you've already started," Theo smiled even though Ava couldn't see her.

"Thanks," Ava said, a bit meek in tone, "what's your goal then?"

"I've got plenty," Theo sat up, not letting go of Ava's hand, "as you said, I think about a lot of things."

Ava sat up too, looking at Theo for the first time in what felt like hours. She was glowing under the moonlight, the borg root only making her look more ethereal in Ava's eyes. A large smile broke out on both of their faces at the same time and they burst into a fit of giggles for a few minutes. Once they had calmed down, Ava brought Theo's hand to her lips and placed a soft kiss there.

"I'll tell you one of mine and you tell me one of yours?" Ava asked.

"Games are fun," Theo nodded, "you first."

"I want to be on the vanguard," Ava started.

"I knew that," Theo snorted, "I want to have my own fleet."

"I knew that," Ava chuckled then thought for a moment, "I want to learn a new language."

"I want to have my own island, my own city that is a safe place for all," Theo usually didn't speak on her plans but she was high and Ava made her feel safe enough to share her goals with people other than Cooker and Xyra.

"Like, you would be the head of the island?" Ava wasn't following.

"No, they would govern themselves," Theo shrugged, "figured I could fund the island's foundation. Use my connections and my name to get people to know about it. Use my fleet to protect its waters."

"That is a very Theo-like goal, I think you can do it," Ava smiled and pulled their hands onto her lap, "My next one isn't as selfless. I want to be known, like you and the other officers are. I want people to be scared of me just cause they've heard of me."

"That's a good one," Theo laughed at that one and nodded, "I want Xyra and Cooker to settle down with someone they love when the time comes. I don't want them staying on the ship forever like they plan to."

"As long as you are on the ship, that's never going to happen."

"I know but I can dream."

Ava shrugged, letting Theo know she had given her fair warning about her unattainable goal, "I want to burn down and raid more army bases."

"I want to see The Center burn," Theo took it a step farther.

"I want to kill more Eloxian soldiers," Ava thought for a second before letting it slip.

"I want to kill Lord Vaith," Theo followed up and she saw Ava's breath catch and she looked up at the sky.

"I do too," Ava said, before letting out a deep breath.

"We've got dark thoughts," Theo said and looked up at the sky too.

"I think everyone does."

"I'm glad you shared yours with me."

"I talk a lot, you sharing is the surprise here," Ava teased and Theo rolled her eyes.

"I'm never speaking to you again," Theo said and pulled her hand away.

Ava gasped and got on her knees, crawling over to Theo and tackling her to the ground. Theo landed on the sand with a soft thud and Ava crashed down on her chest. Ava smiled, semi-apologetically, they had gone down harder than either had planned for. Theo rolled her eyes once again.

"I'm going to miss you, Red," Theo said, not even thinking before she said it. It was the truth and Ava deserved to know.

Ava put her chin on Theo's chest, blinking up at her, "Let's run away on that boat you were talking about. I'll learn to sail, I can help you out."

"We'll steal someone's ship. If we leave right now, we'll get to the docks and clear the reef by dawn," Theo played along and Ava slapped her chest but laughed anyway.

"I'm going to miss you too," Ava said and rested her head on Theo's chest so her pointy chin wouldn't bother the captain. They were silent for a while and, "Theo?"

"Hm?"

"Will you wait for me?" Ava asked and she was too afraid to look up into Theo's eyes. Ava was asking if Theo was planning on seeking anyone out while they were apart and she almost didn't want to know the answer, just in case.

"There wasn't any other option," Theo said, "it's only you."

Ava felt like she had no more breath. She was winded, swept off her feet. A smile crept over her face but she still didn't dare to look up. Ava stayed impossibly still, she didn't want to shatter the moment. It would be near impossible to make the night better. Ava was convinced Theo had fallen asleep when Theo cleared her throat.

"I wasn't ever planning on doing this again," Theo said, the smile evident in her tone.

"Doing what?" Ava asked, cheek still pressed against Theo's chest.

"Falling in love," Theo said, casually.

Ava's head shot up, "Falling in love?"

Theo had admitted she was falling for Ava before but love was never mentioned. Love was serious, love was adult, love was intense. Ava had known there were feelings there, that much had been expressed but she wasn't aware that when Theo said she was falling for Ava it was this far along. Not that Ava was complaining it's just she hadn't expected to hear that. The near-impossible had happened and her night had become even better. Theo felt the same way as her.

"Aye, exal," Theo reached down and brushed some hair out of Ava's eyes, "I am falling in love with you, deeper by the day."

"Theo," Ava didn't know what else to say, she hadn't prepared for this. She had thought maybe she had at least three or four cycles to prepare for the inevitable confession of their true feelings if their four-cycle lead up to sex was any predictor of how things were going to go with the rest of their future.

"You don't have to say anything back," Theo reassured, "you could tell me this whole thing was an elaborate ruse to make Xyra jealous and fall for you and I still wouldn't be able to shake the way I feel."

Ava laughed and she felt tears come to her eyes but she didn't want Theo to see. She pushed herself onto her arms and leaned forward, giving Theo a kiss. Theo's hands came up to hold Ava's face as they kissed and Ava pulled away after a minute, resting her forehead against Theo's.

"You're an idiot," Ava shook her head slightly, "I'm falling in love with you too. At a dizzying pace."