Aired Grievances

Theo shifted awake and could feel them before she could see them. She wasn't sure how long they had been standing there or how they managed to get into the room without her waking up but the presence of people in the room was unmistakable. She would have been worried except she knew that when she turned around and opened her eyes her two best friends would be hovering over her. So Theo did just that, she slowly flipped onto her back from her position on her stomach, turned her head towards the people in the room, and cracked one eye open. With the curtains drawn, there was not a lot of light but Theo could tell that the silhouettes in front of her were Xyra and Cooker.

Theo huffed out at the fact that was had been woken up by them and decided that Cooker and Xyra could wait until she was fully awake before jumping into the reason they were there, interrupting her vacation. Theo turned onto her side, her back to the girls, and wrapped an arm Ava before pulling her closer. Ava shifted at that and made a few sleepy noises before backing up into Theo's embrace. She felt Ava wake up and she pressed a kiss to the back of her neck and whispered.

"Don't be alarmed but we have company."

Theo wasn't sure why she thought that would work but Ava did not follow directions. Alarmed was just the surface. Ava's head popped up and scanned the room but jolted when she caught a glimpse of the figures in the dark. Theo wasn't sure if Ava had no room on her side of the bed or her body was so shocked she was propelled forward, but either way, Ava tumbled off the bed with a yelp. A thud followed by some shuffling was heard before a head of red hair popped into view.

"Morning?" Ava asked, sleep evident in her tone.

Theo chuckled a bit, despite her realization that her vacation was most likely coming to an end, and sat up in the bed, "Can I help you, pirate intruders?"

"We were just coming to check on you. You've been gone for over six suns and we just didn't expect you to be out here for this long," Xyra commented.

"First, you force me to leave the city. Now, you come in search for me wondering why I am not in the city," Theo quipped. She had promised herself that she would subdue her anger at the both of them for their secretive antics in the but that plan went out the window when she saw them.

"Theo..." Xyra shook her head with a sigh, "we can talk about that later. We've come to stay for a few suns."

"I'm afraid the Grotto is being occupied by others. As you can see by our bare asses on the bed," Theo crossed her arms over her chest.

"To be fair, my bare ass is on the floor," Ava chimed in from her place on the floor, presumably hiding her naked body behind the bed, "I'm also probably going to have to head back this morning."

Theo gasped at the betrayal of Ava giving up her spot in the Grotto so easily. But the gasp was mainly for show, they had discussed leaving back to the city the night before and had agreed they would set off first thing in the morning.

"Well, if you are not joining her on her trek back to the city, I would appreciate it if you stayed with us, Theo," Xyra said as if she was in a business meeting but Theo got the context behind her words. It was a formal request but the way it was worded was practically a plea from Xyra.

Now that Theo's eyes had adjusted to the little light that was in the room, she saw Xyra's leg immobilized between splints and a crutch. Theo swallowed past the lump in her throat, guilt rising in her chest once again. There she was being a fucking dick to Xyra who had sacrificed herself for Theo and Theo's career. Theo nodded her head slowly and looked down to her lap.

"Aye, I'll stay," Theo conceded.

After getting the confirmation from Theo, Cooker spurred into action and walked towards the door, "Alright well, I will be at the grotto for the morning and aftermorning, if any of you want to join."

"Pass," Theo said.

"I'll come with you," Xyra shifted her weight onto the crutch and began to move behind Cooker.

"You can't go," Theo said and stood up, clad in only some loose pants "climbing up and down those rocks will not be good for your leg."

"I'm going," Xyra said stubbornly and Theo knew better than to push it further.

"I will join you," Theo sighed, resigning herself to go keep an eye on Xyra, "just let me get ready."

"I'm sure you'll catch up," Xyra said and walked towards the door and pushed Cooker outside, "c'mon, Cook. Pick up the pace."

Cooker laughed and attempted to swipe at Xyra's crutch but Xyra expected the move and swatted Cooker's hand with the wooden object. Theo couldn't help but smile but she wiped it off her face quickly, she was still annoyed and she would be until she got an apology; guilt be damned. The door closed behind them and Theo heard Ava finally clamber onto her feet.

Ava grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around herself. She didn't say anything, she just stared at where Theo was standing next to her side of the bed. Theo stared back and after a few seconds they both broke out into smiles. Theo wordlessly made her way over to where Ava was standing and pulled her in close, arms wrapping around Ava's waist.

"I need to get ready," Ava chuckled a bit, Theo was blocking her way but she made no move to get herself untangled from Theo's grasp. Instead, she wrapped one arm around Theo's shoulders and the other hand came up to push some hair out of Theo's face.

"I'm in no rush," Theo shrugged, "they're the ones that barged in. They can wait."

"Theo..." Ava raised an eyebrow.

"What?"

"Be nice to them," Ava requested and her hand cupped Theo's cheek, "I'm asking you as your quartermaster. This is the last time you'll be able to spend time alone with them for a while. Don't regret it by being petty."

Theo rolled her eyes a bit but it was more of a reflex at being told what to do than disagreement with the statement, "Sure, fine. Whatever."

Ava laughed a little at the small huff Theo let out when she finished agreeing and leaned forward to give her a soft, good morning kiss. Neither of them pulled away though and the kiss grew less innocent. Theo could feel her stomach light up with something all too familiar to her, by the way Ava was matching Theo's energy, Theo could tell Ava was feeling the same. Theo felt Ava pull away just enough to drop her blanket. Theo's jaw dropped as if she hadn't ever seen Ava naked and lust overrode any thought of objecting to sex and parting ways with Ava. Ava raised an eyebrow, challenging Theo to do something and Theo didn't need to be asked twice.

------

Arguably, they had gotten carried away. It had been more than a few hours since Xyra and Cooker had left them alone before they had even gotten out of bed. It took them another hour to get Ava packed up. And yet another to get both of them dressed and ready to embark on their separate missions. Theo was putting on a belt as she crossed the threshold of the house while Ava was loading up her horse. Theo squinted and looked up into the sky trying to gauge what time it was.

"Given the time and knowing the girls, I probably won't be back before tomorrow night," Theo commented.

"Don't rush. I will probably be tied up with Oceane and Tuni," Ava glanced over from what she was doing, "Oceane threatened me with recruiting Tuni to throw daggers at my head if I'm not back with enough time to spend with them before we depart."

Theo chuckled a bit and walked over and began to help Ava, "I forgot I have to share you with others. Spent so long out here I failed to account for the fact that there are other inhabitants on this island."

"Now you know how I feel, always having to let others have their turn with the Captain," Ava quipped back and nudged Theo before getting back to work.

Once Ava had secured the last of her bags she turned to Theo and reached out her hand for a handshake. Theo tilted her head in confusion and Ava jostled her own hand again, indicating it was there for Theo to take. Theo reached forward and slipped her hand into Ava's with a raise to her eyebrow.

"Thank you, Theo. I had a really good time," Ava said with a smile and shook Theo's hand, "I will see you later."

"What are you doing?" Theo laughed as they shook hands, "Was I just a good fuck, and now that you're returning to the city, you are trying to pretend like it never happened?"

Theo was teasing and they both knew it.

"No," Ava chuckled let go of Theo's hand, "if I attempt to properly say goodbye, I'm not confident I won't just pull you back into bed."

Theo laughed and stepped forward, closing the gap the awkward handshake had created between them, "All the more reason."

Ava laughed and forced Theo away gently by pushing at her chest. Ava took that opportunity of distance to mount her horse, "Goodbye, Captain."

"Goodbye, exal," Theo said with a fond smile on her face.

Theo backed away from the horse and waved Ava off as she began to guide her steed in the direction they came from. Theo was worried she wouldn't know how to get back but Ava assured her multiple times that she would be fine. Theo waited until Ava was out of sight before she walked to the entrance of the grotto. Theo could hear them before she even climbed inside. Well, she heard Xyra yelling.

Theo made quick work of scaling up the rocks and even quicker work of climbing down them and slipping into the grotto. Theo jogged over to where the others had set up a small fire but nothing seemed to be wrong. She had rushed in to see what the matter was but only found a mildly annoyed Xyra with a grinning Cooker running back towards the water. Xyra's hair looked slightly wet like she had been splashed and it all made sense.

Theo watched as Cooker dunked herself in the water before running back out, dripping wet and cupping water in her hands. Xyra began to yell again and she held one hand out as if that was going to stop Cooker. Xyra took her free arm and held out her crutch, swinging it wildly to keep the wet girl away from her. Theo ran forward, attempting to intercept the assault. Cooker was sauntering over to Xyra menacingly when Theo tackled her to the ground.

"Pick on someone you can actually fight!" Theo yelled before her shoulder connected with Cooker's stomach.

Cooker fell onto the sand with a grunt and her freshly dunked body began to get Theo wet from where Cooker was pinned. Cooker laughed instead of being angry at being so roughly thrown to the ground and she began to wrestle with Theo. Theo couldn't help but also laugh as she found herself rolling in the sand, brawling with Cooker. After a minute or so of tumbling around, they were at an impasse. Neither of them could get out of their holds on each other. Cooker was pinning Theo down by the shoulders but Theo had her legs wrapped around Cooker and her hand was pushing Cooker's face away.

"Children," Xyra called from her spot near the fire, "mind breaking it up?"

"I was fighting for your honor!" Theo grunted as she tried to keep Cooker in place.

"And for that, I am thankful. But you will both be at it for hours if one of you doesn't just step away," Xyra commented and she was right, these things could go on for far too long between them.

"I will be the bigger man," Cooker sighed and let go of Theo's shoulders. At Cooker's display of peace, Theo unwrapped her legs that were keeping Cooker in place.

However, the peace was not genuine and when Cooker stood up, she took advantage of the fact that Theo had yet to rise. Cooker reached down and gripped each of Theo's ankles and began to pull. Theo's mouth dropped open in shock as she realized that she had been betrayed. She tried her best to flip onto her stomach and crawl away from Cooker's grip but it was too late. Cooker began to drag her backward, laughing almost maniacally as she did. Theo could tell that Cooker was dragging her straight towards the water.

Theo yelled and wiggled her legs and clawed at the sand in an attempt to ground herself but it wasn't working. Suddenly, a piece of wood appeared in front of her face. It was Xyra's crutch, a lifeline. She grabbed onto it and watched as Xyra planted her good leg into the ground and began to pull. Theo felt stretched between Cooker and Xyra and she could see Xyra slowly start to lose anchor.

"She'll take us both into the water!" Xyra shouted as she shifted closer and closer to the water while Cooker dragged them along.

"Don't let her drown me!" Theo cried out dramatically, still clutching the wood.

"I'm sorry," Xyra tried to stay serious but she broke, laughter filling the air as she let go of the crutch tethering Theo.

"Nooo!" Theo yelled as Cooker took her chance to start retreating even faster towards the water.

The cold water hit her and once every part of her was touching the water, Cooker let go. Theo finally flipped over to face her and narrowed her eyes. Cooker just shrugged with a mischievous smile and wading further into the water.

"First one to swim out of the grotto and back in wins?" Cooker offered a challenge and Theo was never one to back down from a test of athleticism.

Theo took off some of her wet and heavy layers and gave a nod, "You're on."

She didn't even give Cooker a chance to prepare before ran into the water until it was deep enough for her to dive in and begin swimming.

----------

The race was won by Theo but Cooker claimed cheating was involved. So they went again and when Cooker won, Theo demanded a rematch. Their water races turned into a full-on land and water-based skill competition, with Xyra more than happy to judge and watch. The sun was setting by the time Theo and Cooker were tired enough to sit still next to Xyra and the fire. Cooker, predictably, provided some rialiti, a plant found in Aeliz that was commonly smoked in Corinpse. It doubled as a pain killer for Xyra, who stubbornly insisted on coming into the grotto, and was feeling the consequences of it.

Once the games and, for lack of a better term, frolicking had stopped things got quiet. Theo tried to pay attention to what Ava had said, to be nice, but there was still negativity towards her girls that had gone unaddressed. She didn't have anything nice to say so instead of speaking up, Theo opted to just sit around quietly and smoke the rialiti whenever it was her turn to. Xyra was mostly quiet too so the burden of conversation fell on Cooker. After a few attempts to get a friendly and light conversation going, Cooker gave up.

"Are we planning on just sitting in silence all night or can we talk about things?" Cooker sighed.

"Talk about what?" Theo asked, knowing full well what Cooker meant, but not wanting to do anything about it.

Cooker fixed Theo with a look and Theo just shrugged. Xyra muttered something under her breath that Theo couldn't catch, but it was snarky and aimed at the Captain, that much was for sure. Theo glared at Xyra and Xyra just stared back.

"Theo, just say what you need to say," Cooker sighed.

Theo did not hesitate that time, if they wanted to hear what she was thinking then that iis what would happen, "I was undermined by my top officers. Twice."

"It's our duty," Xyra also did not hesitate to reply.

"Undermining me?" Theo scoffed.

"Protecting you," Cooker chimed in, the calmest out of the three of them.

"You don't have to subvert my authority in order to protect me," Theo crosses her arms, feeling the annoyance and anger rising in her chest.

"There was no other way," Xyra said.

"I am not a child, Xyrabellis. I can be communicated with. Had I fucking known you would throw yourself in the ring for me I would've thought twice before challenging him."

"You can communicate when you are willing to and during the meeting, you were not willing to. You were frustrated and no one could have talked you down from that ledge," Xyra argued, countering Theo's beliefs with her own.

"Knowing you could get killed for my actions would have been enough, Xyra! You underestimate my commitment to keeping you safe. You and Cooker," Theo let her frustration get the better of her and she raised her voice.

They were silent for a bit before Theo spoke up again.

"And instead of shipping me off, you could have spoken to me about it at least. Let me have said no before you hatched a plan to force me out," Theo crossed her arms over her chest and stared at the fire.

Theo felt small. Like she was a child and had gotten them in trouble again. Theo knew that she wasn't blameless in the grand scheme of things but it also was within her right to be upset, she was the Captain. Xyra was about to say something, Theo could feel the long speech coming but Cooker reached out and put a hand over Xyra's thigh to stop her from speaking.

"I'm sorry, Theo," Cooker said.

Xyra whipped her head over, shocked, "What?"

"Xyra is right too, you sometimes do not make it easy to know we can approach you when you are being irrational but you are also correct, it is our job to come to you with things," Cooker started and Xyra went to say something in opposition but Cooker continued to not let Xyra have a chance to speak, "You are my Captain but you are also my family. So while I am sorry about undermining your authority, I will do so again if you fail to listen."

"All I ask is that I am given the chance to make my own decisions instead of you two assuming I will self-sabotage..." Theo stated.

Cooker nodded and handed Theo the rialiti cigarette that was in her hands, a peace offering, "I can do that."

"Thank you," Theo took the cigarette, "And I am also sorry for not being approachable about these things."

Cooker nodded and accepted the apology, Xyra was still stuck in her thoughts.

"You know there are a lot of risks you took during the meeting that were unnecessary that we have yet to talk about," Xyra snapped.

"I know," Theo said.

"You jeopardized a lot by having a big mouth and trying to step up to every challenge lobbed out," Xyra continued.

"I know," Theo nodded.

Xyra huffed a bit and crossed her arms as well, "Sometimes it is better to keep quiet than to respond to every comment made by others."

"I know," Theo said, once again.

A few beats passed in silence and Xyra looked away for a second, thinking of what to say next. She trailed her gaze back over to Theo and took a deep breath, "I am sorry."

Theo looked up from the fire and locked eyes with her first mate. Xyra nodded in her direction and Theo nodded back, an unspoken two-way apology and acceptance.

Xyra cleared her throat and suggested, "Best if we leave the meeting and everything that came from it in the past."

Xyra was referencing not only the meeting and its many chaotic events but also what happened immediately after, her leg. Theo wanted to say she was sorry again, she wanted to break her own leg in solidarity, she wanted to cry and show just how much it affected her. But none of those things needed to happen. Xyra already knew. Theo nodded and handed Xyra the cigarette, her own peace offering. Xyra accepted it and just like that, whatever drama had arisen since they docked in Corinspe was squashed. Theo felt lighter afterward, partly because of the rialiti but she mostly because they had cleared the air. But after an hour or so, the feeling was back. There were things still left unsaid, but it wasn't on Theo's end.

Cooker seemed fine, like her usual self. Argumentative in the face of theoretical questions and blunt, borderline rude with her recounting of tales. Theo felt energized by her, a stark contrast to her anger towards the tattooed Eloxian earlier in the sun. Xyra, on the other hand, couldn't keep up with the conversation. Jabs aimed at her went unanswered, her commentary was unenthusiastic, and it just seemed like her mind was elsewhere. Somewhere not on this planet. Theo knew something was bothering Xyra and Cooker knew it too but no one of them knew how to bring it up.

When the conversation died down for the fourth time in a short period of time, awkward silence enveloped them. It wasn't a common occurrence that any of them were speechless but at Xyra's short and dry answer to their last comment, there was nowhere left for them to go in the exchange. Theo shifted uncomfortably where she was sitting, itching to get up and go dip her toes in the water or climb the rocks around them, anything to get her away from the building tension between Xyra, her brain, and the others. Cooker was in the same boat as Theo, not truly knowing how to handle delicate subjects such as Xyra's emotions.

"What's the matter, kid?" Xyra finally spoke up once Theo had fully disengaged from the conversation.

"I should be asking you that," Theo replied, looking up from the lines she had been drawing in the sand, "you're being broodier than usual, which is hard to do."

Xyra just shrugged in response, not helpful at all.

Cooker took her turn to pipe in, "She's been like that since Uncilo came around."

"You guys saw Uncilo?" Theo looked between the two of them, it was something that had yet to be mentioned.

"Aye, I debriefed with him about the meeting when you left," Cooker informed.

"Did you talk about me?" Theo leaned in a bit, trying to read Cooker's face for any stray facts.

"You know he doesn't," Cooker chuckled and rolled her eyes, it was true.

Uncilo had always raised them under the principle of privacy. Uncilo didn't talk about any of the girls in a bad way unless they were all present in a room. When Uncilo would meet privately with each of them, what was said between them stayed between them. Uncilo had always done a good job with that and it wasn't something he stopped when they left the crew. At the end of the day, they were his girls, and the rules they were raised with and the care that Uncilo had for them were still there.

It was a stupid question to ask, Theo had known the answer would be no. Even if it was a yes, Cooker had no obligation and probably had no intention of sharing. Theo was just anxious because if he met with both of the others, he was bound to request a meeting with her and she had a feeling it wouldn't be one of just praises. Theo had broken a lot of cardinal rules of piracy that Uncilo had taught her and there was a looming lecture, she felt it. If Cooker had gotten an inside scoop as to what Uncilo was going to say to her, Theo would sleep better.

"What about you?" Theo asked and looked over to Xyra, "He came to visit?"

"Aye, at the infirmary," Xyra crossed her arms, "he obviously heard about the fight and wanted to check up on me."

"And what did he say to you to make you the way you are being," Cooker joined in on the interrogation, only a united front could crack Xyra.

"He didn't say anything," Xyra defended and tightened her crossed arms, she shifted her body slightly away from the fire in front of them, turning her side and back to her friends.

"Liar," Cooker pushed.

"Just fucking back off or something, you two," Xyra said, a bit of desperation in her tone, "Riva have fucking mercy on me, you both are so overbearing, it's like it never stops."

Theo raised an eyebrow at the small outburst and caught eyes with Cooker, Xyra sounded at the point of tears, not a place she got to very often.

"Xyrabellis..." Cooker and Theo both said at the same time, eerily in tune. Xyra scoffed at that.

"If he is mad at something you did, you can tell me what he said and I'll defend you to him," Theo offered.

"Aye, mate," Cooker nodded along, "I know he can get a little too harsh with you and Theo. I'll have your back."

Uncilo coming down on Xyra with any sort of judgment would be justification for her mood. Xyra did not defer to authority much but those that did hold influence over her held immense power over her moods. She was constantly trying her hardest and when criticism arose from those she held in high regard, it soured her mood.

"He didn't say shit to me," Xyra replied and then made a comical display of trying to get up from her spot on the floor. Her leg did not make that an achievable task and the other two made no move to aid their injured first mate.

"We can go back to the house once you let us in," Theo said, more firmly than before, "I did it. Now you do it."

"Why doesn't Cooker have to do it too?" Xyra sounded a bit like a petulant child.

"Cooker's got nothing to share. I let things go," Cooker responded for herself and Theo pointed to Cooker to back up her point.

Xyra let out a frustrated grunt and put her head in her hands. She cursed under her breath in Nefritian but stayed silent, even after all the hassling.

Theo sighed, making sure to make a slight display of it. She stood up and wiped the sand off of her legs, showing her intention to leave. That elicited a response.

"Uncilo hadn't heard about Pika and Bari," Xyra finally broke, "I had to be the one to tell him."

Theo didn't hesitate to sit back down. Xyra had arguably been hit the hardest by the loss, having spent the most time with the couple as a child. Having to rehash that and be the one to tell Uncilo, who regarded them as parents, must have been very difficult.

"I'm sorry, Xyra," Cooker was the first to say something. She reached out and put a hand on Xyra's thigh and Theo did the same.

"I just don't get why I had to be the one to tell him," Xyra shot out without letting Cooker's apology breathe, there was somewhat of a pinch to her tone, a tightness behind it, "I wasn't even fucking there to see it happen, why do I have to be the one giving the details? I shouldn't have to deal with the bad news and also have to deliver it, it wasn't my fault."

Cooker recoiled at the comment, her hand falling from Xyra's thigh.

"It wasn't ours either..." Cooker said, her voice faltering a bit.

Xyra didn't answer that claim. Theo felt a boulder hit her chest and she had to try and push back tears. The venom in Xyra's statement was clear and her lack of assurance towards Cooker painted a vivid picture, there were unresolved issues with what happened at Pika's rock. Xyra was holding Cooker and Theo partly responsible for their passing.

"Xyra," Theo said but had no idea where to take it from there, "do you blame us for their deaths?"

Xyra shook her head, no, but it wasn't convincing. It seemed like a gesture to just get them off her back. Theo swallowed past the lump in her throat.

"Xy," Theo tried again, "do you resent us for not being able to save them?"

Xyra's eyes snapped up to Theo's and they shared a look. Xyra didn't need to verbally answer for Theo to get her answer but Xyra did anyway, "I know you aren't to blame. I know that but it's hard to not think about what would've happened if someone else stayed back and I went to help the villagers."

"We had a duty to Alenroux and all its people, we got there as quickly as we could," Cooker snapped, her calm and fun demeanor from earlier gone. To what Theo had reacted to with hurt and a heavy heart, Cooker reacted to with fumes practically visibly releasing from her ears.

"I know..." Xyra answered.

"It wasn't our fault. We did not set their house aflame," Cooker continued on, but it seemed like she was trying to convince herself. The truth of the matter was they could've checked on Pika and Bari before anyone else, but it slipped their mind in the chaos, "the culprit is the same bloodthirsty regime we have been fighting against since childhood."

"Cooker, please," Xyra said when Cooker bluntly mentioned their house that was burned down, her previous venomous attitude was now turning to one of shame, of discomfort. It was clear if she wasn't pressed on it, Xyra would take these feelings to the grave.

None of them spoke for a long while, they didn't even look at each other either. Cooker was still fuming at comments from Xyra but it went deeper than that. Xyra's light accusations uncovered a sore spot. Cooker was blaming herself, Theo knew because she felt the same way. It was a wound that had never healed properly that Xyra had easily reopened.

"They're gone and I don't think we ever dealt with that," Theo said, "No one this close to us that wasn't crew has been killed in a few lengths, I think we forgot how to handle it."

"How do you suggest we do that then?" Cooker asked.

Theo shrugged, "Openly talk about them? Spend the rest of the night honoring their memory. Giving ourselves a real chance to say goodbye. Face our sadness instead of burying it under ship duties."

"She's preaching tonight, the spirit of Riva works through this wise one," Cooker cracked a joke trying to lighten the mood. Theo smiled and Xyra seemed to inch away from her cold and upset attitude. Cooker wasn't sarcastic in her words either, they all knew the truth to her words. They needed to face it head-on and put it behind them. The death of someone they cared about so deeply was a stain on their relationship that could go sour without addressing it.

"Remember how Bari used to take us to the fighting guilds in Alenroux under the cover of darkness so Pika wouldn't know?" Xyra smiled a bit, being the first one to dip her toe into Theo's suggestion.

Cooker chuckled and pulled down the collar of her shirt to show a small mark, "How can I forget? One of those times is when I got fucking bit during a fight."

"Serves you right for fighting. We were under strict instructions to not fight so Pika wouldn't know we went in the first place," Xyra rolled her eyes, remembering the long stories they had to come up to cover up the bruises and marks when one of them did decide to fight in a guild match.

The rest of the night, while not rid of the sadness and the soreness that Xyra had brought to life with her comments, was lighter. The atmosphere was not one of resentment or animosity or blame but one of grief and community and understanding. It was a loss none of them had planned for, it was a loss that would never stop nagging and begging the question "what if?", it was a loss that they never truly handled. But it was time to put it in the past and looked forward, which is what they did. They honored their friends -their family -and eventually made it back to their house. Emotionally exhausted but closer because of it.

The bed, which was big for two people, was decidedly less so when all three of them squished together on it. Xyra took the middle, or rather was forced to the middle, as Cooker and Theo cuddled close on either side of her and shared body heat to fend off the icy wind outside. Theo felt lighter, for real that time, and the others seemed to be mimicking her feelings. They were all quite worn out and they fell asleep, a mess of tangled limbs, waiting to see what the next day would bring.

-----------------------------

Before she left, Ava had been told by Theo to go to find Oceane and she would take care of getting the horse back to where it belonged. When Ava had asked where Oceane would be, Theo just shrugged and gave her a vague answer.

Somewhere in town.

So when Ava's horse trotted into town, she had no clue where to begin. She first checked the inn they had been staying at before. When that proved unfruitful, she moved onto a few popular bars in the area. Nothing. Then she went to the place she arguably should have started with, the ship. The lower decks were empty and not a soul could be found there, Oceane's hammock was void of life. She made one last stop before disembarking from the ship, Oceane's room.

Since Oceane didn't use her room very often, Ava had assumed that there would be no one there, she was just checking for good measure. She didn't knock for that very reason, no one was supposed to be in there. Opening the door and seeing what she saw, she really, really wished she had knocked. She saw Blue splayed out on the bed and Oceane under the covers, near Blue's hips.

"Oh fuck! I am so sorry!" Ava exclaimed and averted her eyes, she fumbled with the doorknob trying to close the door but failed miserably. The doorknob slipped from her fingers and with her eyes looking elsewhere there was no way to find it, "Shit, shit, shit!"

She heard a laugh that wasn't Oceane's, followed by something that sounded like a slap and then a yelp from Blue.

"Red! You're back!" Oceane exclaimed, Ava could tell she was a bit out of breath, "Give me a second."

Ava's cheeks were burning and they were most likely red, like the rest of her face. She made a noise of approval to Oceane's comment and finally found purchase on the doorknob, swinging the door closed. She still had her back to the door, eyes intently staring at the wooden hallway walls in front of her when Oceane opened the door behind her but Ava still did not turn around.

She felt a hand on her back and she jumped a bit before turning to face Oceane with a sorry smile, "Oceane, I had no idea. I would have never invaded your privacy like that if I had thought you were... well-"

"Fucking?" Oceane laughed a bit, she was clad in just an oversized white shirt that was clearly not hers, "It's fine. You knew about me and Blue anyway and I know you won't run your mouth about it."

"You still haven't told me about how that came about," Ava pointed out.

"You've been gone for close to seven suns, there was no time for it," Oceane pointed out with a smile and Ava felt herself relax at seeing Oceane in her normal friendly state. She wasn't upset at Ava walking in on them, "So, you going to tell me why you are here? Missed me too much that you had to come back to see me?"

"Aye, I couldn't stay away," Ava laughed, "but I also came to find you because Theo told me you would be able to take care of my horse and stuff."

"Let me finish up here and then I will take care of that for you. Any plans for today?"

Ava had been planning on just walking around Corinspe to really get a feel for it. The suns leading up to the meeting and after it were hectic and she had no time to get acquainted with the island. She was also heavily considering visiting a temple but there were so many things about the institution and religion that she didn't know, Ava wouldn't have even known where to begin. Ava had also really wanted to spend time with her friends that she wouldn't be seeing for a long while, they were also a top priority. There was a lot she wanted to do but no plan to do it.

"Nothing really planned," Ava shrugged, she wanted to bring up the fact that she was looking forward to spending time with Oceane but Ava didn't want to come in between any plans she had with her special friend.

"Then we are going out and we are celebrating."

"Celebrating what?"

"You being back, us being together, being at Corinspe, a successful meeting," Oceane listed, "Take your pick."

"Just us?" Ava asked.

"I can get the word out that we are partying tonight and I'm sure we'll have a flock of pirates ready to drink," Oceane smiled and patted Ava on the back, "wait for me on the deck and I'll be right down. We'll take your horse back, grab something to fill our stomachs, and start our sun."

"That sounds great," Ava smiled.

-----------

Ava and Oceane were three pubs into their tavern crawl and they had amassed quite the group. According to the number of girls that were accompanying her from one place to the next, it was safe to say she was missed by her crew. Tuni and Morgana, who had been walking around town hand in hand, had spotted Oceane and Ava prior to them even returning the horse and they had not been separated since. Navi and Iona grouped up with them after they visited the first bar, Skins finding them not long after. After that, Ava could not keep track of who stayed and who came. Ava noticed that not one person failed to ask where Theo was, and each one was disappointed at the news that she had not yet returned.

The tavern they found themselves in was run down and beat up, one of the walls even had a huge hole in the middle of it. The hole allowed the cold winter air to infiltrate the building but the warmth from the ale and liquor she had drank made it almost impossible to feel anything but hot and cozy. Ava watched as a pile of gold coins she had stacked on the table was swiped away by Blue with a wide grin. He had joined them in the last tavern they had been in and Oceane couldn't get him to leave, no matter how hard she tried.

"Thanks for the easy money," Blue smirked as he began to count the coins in front of him. He took a few coins from his stack and flicked them over to Navi who pocketed it.

"Rule number one, never bet against Navi in a drinking competition," Oceane chuckled.

"Unless it is against Cooker," Skins said, humbling Navi's egotistical grin.

"That would have been helpful prior to my bet," Ava chuckled and lifted her drink to her mouth, downing the rest in one gulp. The bet was placed for a drinking game, Navi versus a man twice her width and just as tall as her. While Navi was her crew and she loved the sailor, her money had been on the boulder of a man. She should have known when Oceane didn't bet that she was going to lose her money, Oceane never passed on a bet.

Navi, although she had won, was about one drink from passing out or blacking out; chances were she was already experiencing the latter. She reached for Morgana's drink who lifted it out of the way and when she pouted, Ava laughed at her.

"I think you need to wait a little before you get another one, Nav," Ava said and reached out to pat Navi's outstretched hand.

"Fine," Navi said and then leaned back in her chair and burped, "I'm finally drunk enough to ask-"

Navi hiccuped but didn't follow up.

"Ask?" Ava prompted.

"You and the Captain," Navi covered her mouth as she hiccuped again, "when are you planning on having your union ceremony."

Navi laughed to herself and those who were at the table listening whipped around to face Ava, leaving their previous conversations. Some chuckled and others just stared, expecting a response from Ava.

Ava's cheeks went red and she narrowed her eyes, "I was going to wait until you and Xy did, didn't want to steal the spotlight."

"Navi lunges forward with a decisive strike but, oh! There goes Red with a perfect block and a return jab," Morgana narrated from her spot next to Tuni, arm around her girl.

Navi rolled her eyes and grabbed Morgana's drink, successfully that time around.

"So, it's confirmed then? You and Theo?" Skins raised an eyebrow.

"They went alone to Theo's secret spot for more than a quarter of a cycle," Iona pointed out, "I'm not sure why it's even something we need to bother her with confirming. It's confirmed, leave her be."

"All due respect, I don't believe the shit that comes out of any pirate's mouth. Best to hear directly from the source," Skins replied.

Ava was so embarrassed, not even Iona's interjection could keep away the expecting looks. Obviously, it would have come to light that she and Theo were sleeping together and perhaps even moving past that but that didn't mean she would be ready for the questions or the attention. She got how big of a deal it was, her being with the captain of the ship but that didn't mean she welcomed the attention. Her face was still red but she hoped the dim light failed to pick it up. The girls did not seem to care, they just seemed to want to know more.

Ava shrugged, "It is no secret that the Captain and I spend time together and that we were shipped off into isolation together."

"Boo, tell us more!" Morgana exclaimed and Tuni rolled her eyes, reaching over to put a small hand over Morgana's mouth. Her actions screamed annoyed but her face was fond and her cheeks were tinted pink from the drinks she had been consuming. Tuni had agreed to drink with them for the remainder of their time in Corinspe.

Morgana let herself be silenced by her partner but still pulled away from the hand over her mouth. She shifted on the bench closer to Tuni and in one swift motion, pulled her on top of her lap. Tuni laughed and leaned back against the bigger girl.

"If anyone has any personal questions, you may take them directly to the Captain. If you have the guts to ask Red, you have the guts to ask Theo," Tuni stated, and with her ruling on the matter, the table backed off of Ava.

But if they had been doubtful of the rumors before, her reaction had confirmed it and word would only spread further from there. Ava and Theo were an item. While she was embarrassed with the attention and should have been upset over the invasion of privacy, she was secretly giddy inside. People now knew that Theo had chosen her, had courted her - in a way- and had decided that she wanted to go public together.

The conversation switched focus from Theo and Ava to other things, everyone breaking up into their own offshoot conversations. Some girls left the table and were replaced with other crew members. Morgana and Tuni were tied up in each other and were looking at each other so sweetly it made Ava want to pry them apart, if she didn't get affection then no one should have. Oceane and Blue were also quite infatuated with each other's company. Oceane, who had spent a good portion of the night ignoring Blue or pretending not to care for his presence, was now letting herself be pulled closer to him and Ava could see them whispering things to each other. Iona and Skins had left the table and were replaced with Rita and Chubs who each had their own drinks filled to the brim. Not having seen the whole display of Navi drinking far more than she needed to, Chubs allowed Navi to steal her drink.

"May Derwi have mercy on you in the morning," Tuni let out an exasperated sigh and snatched the drink away from Navi's grasp.

"Why have you foiled my plans. Bad Fortune!" Navi laughed at her own pun.

Ava had a feeling that Derwi was a deity of some sorts. Ava had already asked Theo about religion but she had more questions. She also needed to know where a temple was.

Ava turned to Tuni, "Who is Derwi?"

"He's the god of punishment," Tuni answered and reached to the middle of the table where one of the girls had brought over a plate of fruits and cheeses.

"Is that who you worship?" Ava asked, if she wasn't drunk she would have a little more tact with the way she approached the subject.

Judging by the looks she was being given, others around her would have appreciated the subtler approach as well. Tuni, who was about to take a bite of the piece of fruit she picked up, looked around the room to make sure their voices were not carrying to the other tables.

"I would keep the whole religion talk on the down low, Red," Chubs advised.

"Why?" Ava asked.

"Can be a little contentious at times. Some gods don't get along and their followers take it upon themselves to continue the fight down here," Morgana shrugged and pulled Tuni close, resting her chin on the smaller girl's shoulder, "I don't give a fuck though, I worship Derwi and anyone who has a problem with that can throw the first punch. They won't last much longer than that."

"Mor," Tuni semi-scolded, with a slight shake to her head. She didn't seem to have the same outlook on it that Morgana did.

"You worship the god of punishment?" Ava asked, with a slight tilt to her head.

"Derwi is much more than just that," Morgana answered, "he is the god of strength, courage, and combat too."

"Does anyone else worship Derwi?" Ava looked around the table and those who had not completely checked out of the conversation shook their heads. Ava knew she should probably have shut up about it like Chubs had advised but she was filled with alcohol and an insatiable need to know more, "Who does everyone follow then?"

She asked it to the table at large, hoping to find another follower of Janei, the goddess of the moon. If that was truly who was calling out to her and gods existed, she wanted to know more before pledging herself over to an unknown deity. Her life had just become her own, she didn't want to just throw that away. On the other hand, she felt a tug that she couldn't ignore.

"Not everyone serves a god," Tuni said and took a sip of Morgana's drink, "I do not. Many others don't either. Zealotry is not for everyone."

Tuni, who was usually positive or saw the silver lining in things, seemed unusually cold with the conversation of religion. Much like she was when the ugali was brought up all those cycles ago.

"I don't either," Chubs chimed in and there were a few nods around the table confirming that a solid majority of girls swore no allegiance to anyone.

"Like all sailors, I answer to Riva," Navi contributed to the conversation.

"Oi not all sailors. I don't worship Riva," Oceane pointed out.

"Who do you worship then?" Ava asked, facing her friend.

"Baveri," Oceane answered and when the name didn't seem to register with Ava, she elaborated, "goddess of all living things, of nature, and of growth."

"Why all of the questions, Red?" Morgana asked.

"I mean, are we surprised by the interrogation? It's Ava," Navi chuckled and engaged in another failed attempt to steal a drink.

"It's Red, actually" Ava corrected, a bit snippier than she had intended, before turning to face Morgana. She shrugged, "Just wanted to know more about it. Is there like a temple here?"

"Oh they've got a bunch of those around here," Morgana said, "A bunch of them are far up into the mountains though, something about these religious people and having to be isolated to connect with their gods. If need be, I just go to one by the docks. It's got no alignment with any specific god. You can just go there to worship."

"Thanks, Mor," Ava smiled at her fellow officer, "and everyone else for being patient with my questions."

"Anytime," Navi answered, after being one of the least helpful people, "Can we stop talking about religion now?"

"Please," Chubs groaned and placed her hands together in prayer, "I beg whatever god is out there to liberate us from the boredom of spiritual talk."

"The people have spoken," Ava chuckled a bit at the dramatics and stood up grabbing her own drink, "I'm going to grab another round for myself. Who wants more?"

It was the wrong question to ask because ten pirates raised their hands and she was then charged with bringing back ale for most of her table.