Volume 2 - CH 2.09

Part 9

Seiya, Moffle and Tiramie managed to get a breather at one of the corners of the labyrinth.

They exhausted all their energy running from mobs, evading boss rooms, stumbling onto hidden traps, and even solving timed mini-games like stone door puzzles.

They’d somehow managed to lose the mobs that were pursuing them earlier, but there was no guarantee that they’d be safe for long.

“Oh god…I’ve never stupidly swung a shovel like this in my life… Hey, you goddamn yakuza members, in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m your frickin’ manager! A white-collar worker!”

“A white-collar worker getting paid 850 yen an hour!? Don’t screw with me, fumo. You’re better off cleaning gutters,” Moffle snorted. Seiya knew Moffle was a tough one, but even he couldn’t conceal his panting for breath.

“A gutter-cleaner, huh. That job would fit you, too. You’re a gutter rat, after all.”

“Guys…stop quarrelling at such a weird time, mi. I’m bad with Hollywood movie lines…” Saying that, Tiramie sifted through his pouch.

“This is bad: I’m out of Molotovs, mi. Is there any chemical fertilizer here? If we could just get some flammable nitric acid we’d be able to make more…”

“You’re the fairy of flowers, aren’t you!? Don’t say stuff like that.”

“Yeah, but…I still wanna try blowing shit up and say something like ‘that’s some filthy fireworks we’ve got here’, mi!”

“That, coming from someone who said he sucked at Hollywood movie lines, fumo.”

“A-Anyway, let’s confirm our present situation.”

Seiya slammed his shovel into the ground and used it as support to get up.

He glanced at his watch; it was slightly past 2:30. This is bad, the meeting’s gonna start in an hour and a half! That’s something that’s way more important than some stupid cave exploration!

“I doubt anyone had the time to memorize the path we took, so we don’t know where we are. But maybe if we knew our cardinal directions—“

Seiya whipped out his smartphone and fired up his compass application. Moffle snuck a peek from the side.

“Mofu… So this is north… That means we’re…I don’t know, fumo.”

“Damn, if only I downloaded a pedometer app before entering…wait a minute…” Seiya narrowed his eyelids as he scrolled through the available WiFi networks. How could there be WiFi at such a secluded place like this?

There were two available networks: “mogmog001” and “mogmog002”. The reception wasn’t weak either, standing at 3 bars. Unfortunately, both of them were password-locked. That was strange, considering they were deep down in a cave of some sort. Perhaps there was an air duct nearby that allowed for reception in here?

“Nope, I don’t see any vents, mi,” Tiramie said as he examined the area. Meanwhile, Seiya tried entering random passcodes to see if he could connect, but to no avail.

“If we could just connect to this hotspot, we’d be able to call for help and confirm our location…”

“Hey, Tiramie. Can’t you do something about this, fumo?”

“I’m no hacker, mi.”

“Damn…”

They were so close to finding a means of escape. And now, the option of contacting people outside had to be struck from the list. Seiya checked his watch again. Their attempt had cost them 5 minutes.

“You’ve been checking your watch rather frequently, Seiya. Anything urgent, fumo?”

“There’s a meeting I can’t afford to be late for…”

“Look, we’re stuck in this labyrinth trying desperately not to die, mi. And here you are thinking about work!? There’s gotta be a limit to how much of a workaholic you can be, mi!”

Right then, footsteps could be heard on the far end of the walkway, along with jingles of metal that presumably came from weapons.

Their enemies were here, heading straight for them.

“…So they’ve finally caught up, huh.”

“I’m gonna say this one more time: I’m out of Molotovs!”

“We can’t fight them like this. Run deeper in, fumo!” Moffle began to sprint.

“Deeper? Anything useful there?”

“Nothing. But it’s way better than fighting them here and getting a taste of the floor, fumo!”

Moffle was right. Seiya and Tiramie followed Moffle’s lead and dashed away.

But what they didn’t realize was that enemies weren’t just coming from their back. Enemies could be seen chasing them from the front and sides.

“More of them incoming!”

“Suicide dash, fumo!”

And so, the three of them clashed with their foes, exchanging punches, kicks, parries and tosses. This, coupled with some sidesteps and dodges, got them past the mobs. Nevertheless, that did not ease the hot pursuit they had behind them.

“Goddammit, they’re persistent…!”

They crawled and tumbled around for a while before eventually breaking through a door and rushing in.

“Close it! Close the damned door!”

Moffle and Tiramie, who just had just broken in, pushed the door shut with all their might. Seiya used his shovel as a bar and locked the door in place.

“…!”

They narrowly escaped death. Right when he locked the door, the enemies caught up and banged at it furiously. The door shook violently, but it wasn’t going to open for a while. At the very least, they could use their momentary safety to catch a breather.

“All right, let’s run!” Seiya suggested while wiping off the sweat that had trickled down to his chin, and he was about to make a run for it.

However, Tiramie and Moffle stood frozen in place. They had their backs to Seiya, and were staring at something inside the room that they only noticed after shutting the door.

“What are you two doing? We need to use this chance to…!?”

He realized this place was far bigger than an ordinary room. Its ceiling was more than 3 stories high, and its area could cover half a school gymnasium. The walls and pillars had ominous decorations that cast eerie shadows due to braziers that lit the area. A dragon was crouching at the far end of the hallway.

It’s a legitimate dragon!!

It was the size of a 10-ton truck, with stout limbs like large tree trunks covered in countless red scales. Its pair of wings were large enough to cast a shadow that could cover most of the room. The horned dragon turned slowly to face the three ice statues by the door.

“My god…what’re we supposed to do now, fumo…” Moffle spoke like it was his dying breath.

“This is checkmate…”

They were exhausted, had no weapons, and had a group of mobs waiting to kill them by their doorstep. In front of them was the level boss that had to be defeated before they could continue.

If the devs for this dungeon had been fair, they would’ve at least given them some healing items and weapons before entering. And if they were nice, a save point as well.

Tiramie, who was so frightened his fur had goose bumps, turned and whispered to Moffle.

(Hey, isn’t this the one from Arkhangelsk…!?)

(No, wind-class dragons are much larger…and their scales should be silver or black, fumo. I destroyed one of its eyes, but more importantly…) Moffle clenched his paws. (Idina should have already exterminated it.)

(I-Is that so…)

What on earth are they talking about? Seiya did not understand what the two were talking about. Well, he did find it familiar, but he didn’t exactly have the time to ponder over this matter.

The dragon exhaled a deep breath, and spoke.

“It can speak! That dragon can speak, mi!!”

That coming from a dog mascot!! Seiya thought to himself. However, he refrained from commenting as this would just complicate things further.

The dragon’s intimidating voice reverberated throughout the hall.

(What do we do, fumo?)

(We have no choice but to talk, do we?)

(We’re counting on you, mi! Managing PR is part of your job!)

(W-What!? Shit…)

Seiya glanced at Moffle, who responded with a “hurry up and do something!” face. Of course, Seiya wasn’t going to rely on Moffle to do the talking either.

Seiya took a step forward and cleared his throat.

“Greetings, crimson dragon. Firstly, I apologize disrupting your sleep. However, we were caught up in various circumstances and inevitably ended up seeking refuge here, so I beg your forgiveness.”

The dragon snorted and stared back at Seiya, with eyes as big as a beach ball or a watermelon.

“Ahem…in other words, we’re lost. Two of our friends have gone missing, and if you could just tell us where they are and teach us how to get out, it’ll be a win-win for both of us. We get to go back to work, you get to continue with your sleep.”

The dragon began blowing steam out of its nose.

“Oh no, he’s angry, mi!”

“Actually, I think he’s laughing, fumo.”

The two mascots who were using Seiya as a meat shield commented.

“Not at all! I’m just checking out this old facility in this theme park as its acting manager!”

While saying that, Seiya realized that the “treasure” that the dragon spoke of was nowhere in sight within this hall. Strangely enough, the survivors of the previous incident also mentioned about a treasure being guarded by a dragon.

“I-I’m sure you’re aware of the park above, right? We’re its staff members, you see… Whatever the reason for building this place was, dungeon-crawling within our park is definitely against the rules. If you refuse to cooperate with us, I’m going to have to let our disciplinary unit deal with you all!”

(Wait, what!? What kind of PR is this, fumo!?)

(Shouldn’t you be sounding less like you’re accusing them, mi?)

(Shut up!)

The dragon snorted once again.

“Tch, then what about this? Here’s my park’s security pass. Believe me now?”

Seiya raised the ID card that was hanging around his neck.

“But this card’s the real thing…!”

The dragon growled. At the same time, the door behind them was kicked open and the army of mobs surrounded them, raising their weapons in preparation for battle.

“This is bad, mi!”

“We’re gonna have to talk with our fists, fumo!”

Tiramie started to panic and Moffle raised his paws. However, Seiya stopped him and raised his voice against the dragon.

“Hey, Rubrum! You said you’ve surpassed the knowledge of mankind, didn’t you? Hah! Don’t screw with me, that’s not something I can believe, either!”

The dragon’s growl was so terrifying that it stopped the mobs’ advances.

“I’m saying that your surpassing of human knowledge is an utter lie! I bet I’m smarter than a cave NEET like you!”

“S-Seiya! What are you doi—mmm!”

Moffle covered Tiramie’s mouth and whispered.

(Just leave this to Seiya, he knows what he’s doing.)

(Mi…)

The dragon snarled, baring fangs that cast terrible shadows around the room.

“Eat me if you want! All you fat lizards just sleep and eat all day, anyway!”

The dragon began laughing and glared at Seiya. Fire was coming out with his breath.

“Bring it on! I’ll answer any question you ask.”

“Ask anything. Astronomy, philosophy, you can even ask in whatever stupid lizard language you want, as long as the question has an answer. Oh and, if I answer it correctly, you shall release our friends and let us go. Deal?”

“Okay. Make it quick, I’m in a rush.”

Seiya clapped his palms, and beckoned at the dragon.

“H-Hey Seiya, you’re gonna get us slaughtered, mi!”

While Tiramie was desperately controlling himself from freaking out, Moffle was calm and analyzed the situation. The dragon wasn’t even trying to conceal its laughter anymore, just contemplating the best dish to serve their fried bodies with.

A brief moment later, the dragon began.

“The holy grail of Sage Todeme Onshisho.”

Correct!

If this were a typical TV quiz show, beeps and lights would be going off and the stage would be full of applause. However, Seiya’s situation was the exact opposite—everyone was dead silent.

“But I’m correct, ain’t I? The holy grail of uh…Sage Todeme Onshisho. Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“That was the answer, wasn’t it!?”

The dragon lowered its shoulders in defeat.

“Mofu…”

“T-That was awesome, mi! How’d you do it!?”

“Hmph. That’s a trade secret.”

Seiya gave an arrogant response. He had in fact used the magic powers bestowed by Latifa back when he was first invited to manage the park. The power was a single chance to read a person’s heart. He was originally unsure whether this power would work on a powerful beast like Rubrum, but he recalled testing this on a cat and getting “Nya—, nya—,” and so he decided to give it a shot.

This was obviously not the time for Seiya to be saving his precious ‘grenades’. To be honest, Seiya had recently been using them to his advantage when negotiating with business partners, too.

The dragon retorted.

“So that was an old exam question!?”

“That’s lame!”

While Seiya and Tiramie were hurling comments, Moffle nodded in deep thought.

“I see, fumo… That university’s a really famous and prestigious one that imparts secret techniques and knowledge that are never taught to outsiders. There are even courses in Maple Land’s top cram schools designed specifically to tackle its entrance exam,fumo.”

“Cram schools…in Maple Land…?”

“Mofu (Yeah). But that doesn’t mean they’ve ‘surpassed human knowledge’, fumo. One should be able to get in if he puts in enough effort, which means this lizard’s not that smart, after all!”

The dragon clenched its fangs at Moffle’s criticism.

The dragon gave a loud roar and bared its fangs.

“H-Hey, that’s unfair, mi!”

“This guy has become rather cheap for an ancient dragon, huh?”

“One should never go back on his promises, fumo! I’ll teach him this lesson with my own hands!”

Moffle leapt up at the charging dragon, dodging the claw that came slamming down. He dashed toward it and positioned himself right below the jaw.

He did an uppercut with a maxed out EXE drive, in a manner similar to a Street Fighter Shin Shoryuken. The only difference being the target was not a person, but a huge-ass dragon. Nonetheless, Moffle had hit one of its weak spots, causing the dragon to tumble over.

Upon landing, Moffle made a cross with his arms and began charging up.

“You’re a tough one, I’ll give you that, fumo. But can you stand the wrath of this?”

He focused his energy to his abdomen, and a powerful aura emanated from him. Who would’ve known a theme park mascot could do tricks like this?

“H-Hey, stop it.”

“Uwooaaaa…!! Eat this! Forbidden technique, DRAGON SLAYER!”

“I said, stop it.”

Seiya kicked Moffle’s back, causing him to trip forward. The aura disappeared in an instant.

“What are you doing? And there I was trying to make a micro-blackhole that’d fry the dragon with Hawking radiation!”

“Cut that Hawking radiation bullshit!”

“Mofu…”

“I mean, come on. Just look at that dragon.”

“Hmm?”

Rubrum was cowering at a corner, holding onto his leg in pain.

The dragon was behaving exactly like a typical weakling surrendering after being punched. Furthermore, the way it was shivering gave the impression that Seiya and gang were the ones in the wrong. The mobs that surrounded them took the role of bystanders, flabbergasted by Moffle’s power.

“Mofu…I guess the first punch was enough.”

Rubrum gave a reproachful expression.

“Wait, did you just say ‘guests’?”

“This place is…an attraction?”

Just then, a stone door at the corner of the hallway slid open, revealing the distant figure of Sento Isuzu.

“Sento!? Are you all right?”

Isuzu walked in, followed by Macaron. An unfamiliar weasel-like mascot could be seen walking behind them.

“Kanie-kun, this might be hard to believe, but what Rubrum just said is the truth.”

Now that Seiya thought of it, he vaguely recalled coming across some documents about a plan like this. During the construction of the now-defunct 2nd park, the management were thinking of building attractions like this, similar to the construction of the stadium.

The management had designed this attraction to be similar to MMORPGs that were popular back then, in an attempt to simulate the dungeon crawling experience. Seiya could still remember the proposed name of the attraction because it sounded really lame—“Final Quest (beta).”

However, he didn’t know the details of the project. Nonetheless, it was safe to assume it got cancelled because of the sudden exhaustion of funds, just like the construction of other facilities in the 2nd park.

“Wasn’t the construction of this place cancelled? What’s it doing here?” Seiya asked Rubrum, whom he had finally identified as one of his cast members.

“Allow me to explain, mogu.” Among the mole-like creatures that sprang out of their monster disguises, the one who appeared to be their leader stepped forward. It also became apparent that their weapons were nothing but plastic, and it could be assumed the traps they faced earlier were mostly harmless.

The leader of the group had a physique of a mascot, and was wearing a cute necktie and safety helmet.

“I am Taramo, leader of the diggeries and mogmog corporation, mogu.”

“…Sorry?”

“In other words, I represent the staff here, mogu.”

“Right. So, Taramo. Mind giving us an explanation here? I’m pretty sure the plan for the construction of this attraction was cancelled midway, so why is this here?”

“In order for me to explain, you need to understand the history of our, mogu. Around 2000 years back—”

“Geez, TL;DR this for me, please.”

“What? But you’d be missing out on an interesting story about elves, mogu. You’re a dense one, aren’t you?”

“Just get on with it. I’ll give you 3 lines.”

“We, the diggeries, possess a talent for woodwork, and so we’re often the target of capture by the various nations. 13 years ago, Amaburi’s manager allowed us to seek refuge here, documenting our acceptance as ‘employment for a new attraction’. And so we’ve lived here ever since. There you have it, 3 lines.”

The other members, aside from Seiya, applauded Taramo’s amazing feat.

“Give me a break! You guys seriously believe an explanation like this!?”

“Weren’t you the one who requested for a TL;DR, ron?”

“I find it easy to understand, fumo.”

“Seiya, perhaps you’re an idiot, mi?”

How did it turn out like this?

Isuzu nudged Seiya, who was just about to argue with them. She appeared to have been doing some research with her tablet PC.

“I just checked the past documents, and it looks like it’s true. Apparently the manager back then conspired with several staff members; the cash flow suggests the same, too.”

“So you’re saying this so-called ‘cancelled attraction’ was actually built and has been leeching off our funds, despite having entertained none of our guests!?”

“Your defense, Taramo.”

All eyes were on the diggery representative.

“I won’t deny that we are indebted for the construction of this place. But since then, aside from utility, we’ve not taken a single yen from Amaburi, mogu. We rely on our own stash of money to fund everything else.”

Hearing that, Tiramie and Macaron excitedly leapt to the front.

“Wait a sec, ron! By ‘your own stash of money’, you couldn’t possibly mean…”

Taramo knew exactly what Macaron wanted to ask, and nodded.

“We used to store money in this hallway, but we’ve depleted most of it already.”

“You used it all, mi!?”

To be fair, they’d been relying on this for more than a decade. It wouldn’t be surprising that they’ve cumulatively used tens, if not hundreds of millions of yen, considering the number of staff members they have.

I guess we came too late…

“We eventually got lonely over here, and so we went to get part-time jobs outside, like at convenience stores and restaurants,mogu.”

What Taramo said came off rather sad, but more importantly…

“Wait, you guys go out?”

“Yeah, quite often, in fact. There are secret exits to various places of Amaburi, mogu.”

“Hmph…”

“We wish to live here in peace, mogu. So if possible, we’d appreciate if you could just turn a blind eye to this and let us be.”

“…”

“We were summoned to the palace of Politia to build escape routes. And in order to keep it a secret, they held us captive. Of course, we weren’t going to just sit around and slave our lives away.”

“And so you guys escaped?”

“Yes. But we knew that we’d eventually be captured and sent back no matter where we went. It was then that Amaburi’s manager lent us a helping hand and offered to let us hide here.” Taramo’s pupils became watery. The other members of the diggeries could also be seen tearing up, in gratitude of the favor they received.

“And so I beg you, sir! Please spare us!”

“That’s pretty touching, mi. Should we just let them go?”

Everyone was watching Seiya, hoping he’d give the green light, saying something like, “Very well. But just this once.”

“Hey, Sento. By any chance, was the manager back then her?”

“Right on the money.”

Seiya then turned to look at Moffle, who returned with an earnest expression and a nod.

“I see…” Seiya had a good idea of what was going on. He abandoned his emotions and analyzed the situation from a logical standpoint. The conclusion he came up with was—

“I can’t do that.”

Everyone else shouted, “EHHHH!?”

“But why, mi?”

“That’s just too heartless, mogu!”

“At the very least give us an explanation, ron!”

As everybody closed in on him, Seiya backed away, repeating himself, “Like I said, I can’t do that, because—”

He took a glance at his watch, and realized there was no time left. He had to get back to the administration building post-haste. “I’ll explain later. Someone guide us out of here!”

However, Rubrum stood in their way, not wanting to let them go.

“Moffle!”

“Mofu!” Moffle stepped out. In an instant, Rubrum fled to a corner, weeping.

“Okay, that’s enough, I’m going. Moffle, help to keep watch of this place, will you?”

“Hmph, I’m not a fan of following your orders, but fine, fumo.”

Thankfully, Moffle appeared to have understood the urgency of the situation, and reluctantly agreed.

“Alright, let’s go. We can’t afford to be late!” Seiya followed Isuzu and ran out of the cave.