19: hypothetical

"So, when are you planning on telling us? Or are you ever planning on telling us?"

Nila was confused. She was sprawled on the carpeted floor with her legs propped up on the chair, scrolling through her LinkedIn and feeling like she was a useless amateur amongst a sea of experts. Kayal and Arjun had walked into the living room and taken a seat on the sofa, determination lining their faces.

She didn't understand what they were trying to find out from her.

"What do you mean?" she asked, pushing herself up and shifting to lean against the chair.

"There's something you've been hiding from us, isn't it?" Kayal asked. Nila's heart immediately hammered in her chest. No. She had been so careful. Even her sister's suspicious nose couldn't have sniffed out anything about Vijay. What was this about?

"What-what do you mean?" Damn her voice for giving away how nervous she was already. What would she even do if they found out? Kayal wouldn't go tell her parents but she would probably tell Nila to snip it in the bud.

Kayal shared a glance with Arjun and pulled out her phone. She showed her a reel— a faceless mini vlog. Her faceless mini vlog that she had posted on her account that had unexpectedly gotten viral with more than a million views. How did her sister find out it was her?

"How?" she asked stupidly.

"When you were doing your gardening vlogs during COVID, I had a feeling you weren't simply recording it to keep it to yourself as you claimed. But I didn't pry. Then one day, it popped up on my feed. Do you think I wouldn't recognise my own backyard?" Kayal asked and Nila put her face in her palms. When Kayal phrased it like that, it really seemed delusional of Nila to think she could get away with posting videos of her even though her face wasn't visible.

"But–but I um, blocked you?" she said, not helping her case.

"I have another account."

"You have a secret account and you didn't tell me?"

Kayal raised her eyebrows. Arjun chuckled. Nila shrunk her shoulders and glanced down. She had no right to accuse her when she was maintaining a public account with over 30K followers.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't want anyone to know. I wanted to tell you but it felt nice having something to myself," Nila mumbled.

"It's fine, Nila. Kayal didn't mean to make you feel guilty. She was hurt you didn't want to tell her. She kept complaining about it when she found out," Arjun said.

Nila was ashamed to look at Kayal. "I'm sorry, Kay," she mumbled. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's fine. That's not the only thing I want to discuss. In fact, I wouldn't have even brought it up if not for this reel," she said, playing the reel again. Then she paused at a particular clip.

Oh god.

Nila wanted to die.

She hoped Kayal wouldn't notice but who was she kidding? She was the smartest one in the family. Of course, it would be the first thing she picked up on.

"Now, who is this guy?" Kayal asked, her lips itching to form a creepy grin. Arjun leaned forward.

The main reason the reel went viral was because of that particular clip. The comments on the reel were enough proof. Since Nila couldn't do gardening vlogs because of her college, she had started doing mini vlogs to keep her account stable. That reel was a 'a day as a college student' vlog and it was shot during the days Vijay accompanied her to the college and back to the hostel everyday.

And that particular clip was a video of Vijay taking her tote bag and slipping it onto his shoulders. Her claw clip had been a bad choice because of how windy that day had been so she had given it to him to hold, deciding to quickly put her hair into a braid. He had absent-mindedly clipped the claw onto his t-shirt, making him looking like the model boyfriend of the gram.

Nila didn't want to add the clip but it was too cute to keep it to herself. She had acted on a whim and decided to post it.

Now she was paying the price.

"So, who is he?" Arjun asked.

"Um, just a friend. From college," she lied.

"We all know Sanjay and this is not Sanjay," Kayal said. Ugh, she regretted being the oversharing sister now.

"Are you dating him?" Kayal asked but there was no judgement or anything in her voice. It was just curiosity and genuine interest.

"What would you say if I told you yes?" she asked slowly, "This is just a hypothetical question, okay? Don't read too much into it. Just answer honestly."

Kayal didn't miss a beat. "I'd ask if he is a nice guy and if he is treating you well. Then I'd ask more about him. Then I'd ask to see his picture because I need to know my baby sister's taste in men."

"You won't scold me? Tell me to end it?"

"Why would I? I have no right to do that. I think you're confusing me with our parents, Nila. Out of all the people in this world, you expect me to ask you to end it? You didn't forget what happened in my life, did you?"

Nila was so glad her parents weren't at home. "It's exactly why I thought you would. You suffered so much. I saw you going through it and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. I thought you wouldn't as well."

"Nila, listen to me. Just because we are sisters doesn't mean you have to go through the same fate as mine. Our parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't break up with him and at that time, I didn't have a well-paying job nor a place to live. But you have me. If it ever comes to such a situation, you have me to support you and fight for you. You have Arjun. We will back you up because I want to see you happy. Happy but not at the expense of losing a loved one," Kayal said.

"God, I hate you. Can't you stop being perfect for like a minute?" Nila said, almost tearing up.

"The feeling's mutual, baby sister. Now let's get back to the question. Who is he?"

"We are not dating. I just have a crush on him. I don't know if he likes me back or if this will go anywhere," Nila said. But Nila knew. She knew Vijay liked her. She knew if she released the brakes that she was holding on to with her life, their relationship will go to happy places – places she'd always wanted to go to.

Even though her sister supported her, she didn't want to label it as anything serious. Underplaying it seemed like a good idea.

"Okay. Do you want it to go anywhere?"

"Yeah obviously. He's all I ever dreamed of," Nila said without thinking. Her eyes widened when Arjun and Kayal wore matching smirks. "I mean, it's not like tha–"

"Yeah, we get it. Totally understand," Arjun said with sincerity. The way he played with a strand of Kayal's hair without even realising it made Nila's heart pine for Vijay.

"What's his name?"

"Vijay."

"Out of all the people in the world, you go and fall for a Vijay?" Kayal asked.

"Hey, what's wrong with Vijay?"

"It's such a common name!"

"And Arjun isn't?" she deadpanned.

"Hey, don't bring me into this!"

"The name has nothing to do with his personality, okay? He is kind, sweet, beautiful and oh so handsome. He is so considerate and talented. I've never seen a more hardworking, passionate person like him. He is an athlete! Need I say more? He is just so confident and charming—ugh, I don't know how to describe him. He is just perfect for me."

"You don't know how to describe him? Really?" Kayal teased. Heat crawled up Nila's neck and she looked away. "So, you love him. It's more than an infatuation."

"Of course!" Surely Nila didn't downplay it to that level.

"And you have no idea if he likes you back?"

"No idea."

"You must be dumb. Or in denial. Whatever. That's your problem. You better let both of us know if it becomes serious. At least one person in the family should know about your relationship. And don't you dare get caught by our parents like I did. If you do, you can say bye bye to your dreams and think of reasons to reject potential grooms."

Nila scowled. "I thought you were going to fight for me."

"Yeah but you know how our parents can be. They'll do everything to break you guys up. They are well-versed in mind games. Look, I know you're not dumb enough to get caught. But still, be careful, okay?"

"Fine."

"Do you have his picture?"

The clip in the reel didn't include Vijay's face. And the only other pictures she had of him were the embarrassing pictures of him that Farah sent him. He looked like a complete idiot in that. She couldn't possibly show her sister that.

"No. I don't. We aren't close enough to take pictures yet," she lied smoothly.

"Hmm." After two decades of having her as her sister, Nila knew that Hmm didn't mean 'I understand'. It meant 'okay, I'll take it for now."

"So, no more questions?" Nila asked, ready to escape. She was leaving home that night on an overnight bus. She had to pack.

"Wait, does he know about the reel?" Arjun asked.

"Uh, no. I didn't tell him."

"I think you should. It'll be bad if he sees the reel on his own," he said. "And if he ever hurts you, I'm only a call away."

Nila was actually waiting for him to say something like this. Arjun was an overprotective ass. He was tall and fit the profile of a mafia man in so many ways that Nila didn't understand how her parents found him harmless when they first met him. "Yeah, got it."

"Is he the reason you're going to Chennai early?" Kayal asked, standing up.

"No, I have an assignment–"

"We all know that's bullshit, Nila. Our parents might believe it but not us."

Ugh, Nila hated this situation. She hated being interrogated about Vijay. She had to learn how to lie better.

"Yeah," she gave in with a sigh. "He doesn't know I'm coming. He has his college sports meet and I thought I can surprise him."

The expression on Kayal's face was scary. Her glowing cheeks pushed up in a smile, almost making her eyes squint. She resembled a well-polished doll auditioning to play in a horror film.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You are in love," she said, fake sniffling. "I can't believe my baby sister is in love. I thought you won't open your heart to anyone and worried so much about you. I am so happy to hear this from you."

Nila rolled her eyes. "Kayal, stop being dramatic."

"I have the right to be. I was so worried!"

Nila rolled her eyes again and walked into her room to pack. "Honestly, Arjun, I have no idea how you handled her while she was pregnant. I have deep respect for you."

"Hey!"

The last thing she heard was Arjun chuckling before she shut the door.

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Nila drank coffee as if it was water before she hailed an auto to Vijay's college. Her bus had arrived late this morning so she only had time to quickly shower and change her clothes. She hadn't had time to unpack so she didn't have her favourite lipstick or her eyeliner. She also hadn't found a decent hair tie so she put her hair in a claw clip and prayed it didn't make her look like she had just rolled out of bed.

When she neared the entry gate, she texted Krish that she was here. As she paid the auto, Krish tapped her shoulders and grinned like he was a child and she was carrying the world's prettiest balloons. "I was scared you wouldn't make it. One event of Vijay's is over. There are four more."

"He won, right?"

"Yeah," he said, giving her an ID card. It was Vijay's. "Wear it. The security won't bat an eye if you have an ID card. Only if you don't carry one, he'll ask a million questions."

She slipped the card around her neck and looked at Vijay's picture. He was grinning like a goof, emanating charm like he wasn't aware he was doing it. This wasn't how ID pictures were supposed to be but she had no idea how the college allowed it. It was actually funny.

"Come on," Krish said. Nila wouldn't lie and say she wasn't nervous. She was freaking out. She wasn't a fan of breaking rules so sneaking into another college was a big deal for her. She only hoped she'd blend well with the crowd.

"Where's Farah?"

"She is saving seats for us."

Suddenly Krish laughed.

"What? Why are you laughing?"

"I can't wait to see Vijay's face when he finds out. He's been a miserable little fucker ever since you went home. He's going to lose his shit when he sees you in the crowd."

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