24: wavered

"Why won't you join us? What are you going to accomplish in a few hours?" Tarun asked his twin. It was around nine in the night and they had planned to go out for dinner. But Tanvi said she had work.

"A lot, Tarun. Unlike you, I'm very productive when I want to be. So just stop making a scene and go," she said. Krish, Vijay and Nila watched them bicker back and forth, making them feel like they shouldn't be witnessing this conversation. "I'll make myself a bowl of maggi, finish my work and go to sleep."

"We have guests over. You can't act as you wish."

"I—"

"If I may," Krish interrupted, "it's not a problem, Tarun. And you have no obligation to entertain us, Tanvi. We are glad we have a place to stay."

"No, Krish. She's---"

"Thank you, Krish, for understanding me even when my own brother refuses to. It really means a lot. I'll join you all tomorrow."

Tarun opened his mouth again but before he could say something Vijay yanked him out of the house. When they took the elevator downstairs, Krish was talking Tarun out of being mad at his sister. Vijay whispered in Nila's ear, "Tanvi...she's going through a breakup. They were together for four years."

Nila's mouth curved into an O. Tanvi was the last person she would've guessed to be going through a breakup. She had been so chirpy and energetic since she'd walked into the house.

"It's an act. She usually isn't like that. She's the mature one and he's the playful one," Vijay explained. Nila had to applaud Tanvi for putting up that act because no one could guess she was hurting inside. It was as if she had practiced it. Nila didn't know how people did that.

"Can I do anything to help?"

He shook his head and intertwined their fingers. "She's not exactly a venter. She's big on keeping things bottled in until it bursts. Only Tarun can get through to her and if he hasn't been able to yet, we don't stand a chance."

Nila sighed and leaned against him, pressing her cheek against his arm. "I wish I could do something for her."

Vijay squeezed her fingers. "She'll be alright. She's a strong one. Don't worry, silver."

When the elevator landed, they stepped out and walked towards the bike parking. Krish's familiar bike was parked near the entrance and she could easily spot it because of the aqua blue design on the handles. Tarun walked towards a grey scooter.

"Where's your bike, man?" Krish asked.

"Service. My friend borrowed it that day and got into a minor accident," Tarun said, reversing the scooter which must be his sister's. Nila stood there, wondering where she was supposed to sit. She had assumed Vijay would be driving and she'd sit in the back.

"Uh... where---" she began but before she could finish her sentence, Krish bellowed out from where he stood.

"Hop on, Nila."

She tried to look at Vijay but he wasn't making eye contact. It was very odd. She watched as he silently climbed on the bike behind Tarun, finally glancing up and giving her a forced smile which was a poor excuse for one.

She felt like she was missing something. Nila climbed behind Krish and he handed her a helmet. She strapped it on, too caught up in her thoughts to worry about her hairdo getting destroyed. Krish revved the engine, letting Tarun and Vijay take the lead. Once they'd hit the main road, Nila asked, "Hey Krish? Um, no offense but I had assumed Vijay would drive. When we were getting on the bikes, he wouldn't meet my eyes too. Is there something I should know?"

Krish twisted his neck to meet her eyes before turning back towards the road. "He didn't tell you?"

"What didn't he tell me?"

"Vijay can't drive a bike since the---"

"Accident," Nila finished, putting the pieces together. Looking back, she had never seen him drive or mention it. She had never given it much thought, not enough to even dismiss it as a mere coincidence. Nor had she asked him about it.

"Yeah. I'm not surprised he left out this detail. He's a little sensitive because before the accident he loved riding the bike. He's always loved the feel of pushing against the wind, feeling his heart race. Riding his bike and running were his greatest loves. Now only one remains."

Nila felt a pang of sadness envelope her heart. She pictured the child-like thrill on Vijay's face as he zipped past grey roads and concrete bridges on his bike. That image now was nothing but shredded pieces of lost dreams and heart aches.

"Okay, thanks for telling me, Krish."

"No worries. Are you comfortable?"

She smiled. "Of course."

When they reached the food street, Nila hopped down and went straight to Vijay. There was a look of guilt and something like shame on his face, wiping away her favourite smile from his face. She gave him an affirming smile and intertwined her fingers with his. Nila turned towards Krish and immediately he understood. "We'll be inside. Call when you come," he said, pulling Tarun along with him before they disappeared into the crowd.

"Nila..." Vijay began, trying to remove his fingers from hers.

"I know," she said, gripping his hand tighter. She shifted their palms around her and rested them on her waist, making her stand inside the loop of his arm. Vijay calmed down when she touched him. Nila had always noticed that. "It's okay."

"No, it's not okay, silver," he said, his voice laced with condensed anguish. "I should be able to drive you around. I want that so much. I wish I wasn't such a coward."

"Hey, I wouldn't just stand and watch you call my boyfriend a coward," she stated pointedly making Vijay crack a small smile. "Listen to me, Vijay. I love you and I love all these little parts of you, even if you think they're broken. You are the strongest person I've known, going through something like that and persevering through it. Look at how far you've come. You're winning medal after medal in everything you participate in. You've even proceeded to steal my heart."

Vijay smiled a bigger smile at that.

"Give yourself some credit, Vijay. Do you think the first time I fall in love with someone I'll fall for a loser?"

"If the loser looked like me, maybe," he quipped.

"Seems like your arrogance is back," she said, looking up at him.

He bent them a little so he could press a kiss on her cheek. "When I have you in my arms, I can't help it." She smiled and tried to untangle herself from him but he held on tighter and pressed another fat kiss on her cheek. "I love you."

"I'm hungry."

Vijay chuckled and led her into the busy crowded food street.

"We ordered pizza. Is that okay?" Tarun asked as both took a seat. Nila didn't know how they managed to snag a seat in such a crowded place. They could barely hear each other.

"I don't care," Nila said, helping herself to a big slice of cheesy pizza. She dumped chilli flakes on it and bit into it. She moaned into the bite, chewing it and feeling the flavours burst. "Mhmyy mhmm so goooood?"

Tarun chuckled. "It's my favourite spot. I always bring my friends here."

"It's that good?" Vijay asked, reaching for a slice.

"Wait." Nila picked out the tomatoes from his slice and stacked it on hers before letting him take his slice. "Put more chilli flakes. It's good."

"You don't like tomatoes?" Tarun asked Vijay, amused.

"Yeah, he doesn't. We hung out all the time for three years. Didn't you ever see him picking out his tomatoes like a child?" Krish asked, stuffing his face.

Nila couldn't help but feel good about knowing that detail about Vijay even though she'd only known him for less than a year. There was no competition but there was some strange satisfaction in knowing that you know a person better than their friends.

"So, it'll be around ten-thirty by the time we leave this place. We can either hit the arcade or go on a drive. Then I know a spot for biriyani. It opens at midnight," Tarun said and Vijay chuckled at her shocked reaction. She hadn't thought he would actually arrange to make her little dreams come true. "Then Tanvi asked me to take you all to her favourite dessert place and try their mango-vanilla sundae. If anyone's not sleepy by then, I know places we can go to."

"Bro, how many places do you know?"

"This is his job. After college, he drives around and ends up finding secret spots. It doesn't help that this area is the prime spot for everything food and entertainment."

"I'm so jealous," Nila murmured, before sipping on Vijay's tin of coke. Whenever Nila had junk food, she needed large amounts of soft drinks to wash the food. And then she'd start hunting for a washroom. It was her embarrassing routine.

After a few minutes, she stood up and excused herself. Vijay followed her.

"What are you doing?"

"I'll help you find it."

"I can find it myself," she said.

His lips twitched as if he'd expected her to say that. He took her hand. "I know, silver. But I want to help."

The crowd was thick. It didn't help that most of them were carrying trays of food and sloshing cups of coloured drinks. Trying to dodge all of them was an exercise. Vijay asked two stall owners for directions to the washroom and guided her there.

"I'll be quick," she said, as he took her handbag and her phone from her.

"I'll wait here."

As Nila quickly used the restroom and reapplied her lipstick that she had stashed in her pocket, she thought it was so strange to have someone protect her and look out for her. She'd always been on the other side, watching men in love do these little things for their girlfriends and wishing she had someone like that too. But now that she had found her person, sometimes she found herself questioning if all of it was real.

It was about time Nila got used to it.

Because whenever she looked into Vijay's eyes, forever was in them.

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They decided they'd hit the arcade. Tarun described it as an old one and that barely anyone came in except on the weekends. But it was the first arcade in the city. With all these disclaimers, he convinced them to give it a chance. But Vijay didn't care where he went as long as he was with Nila.

Today, she had worn ripped jeans and a crop top that revealed too much of her skin when she bent down or leaned forward. He tried not to stare but she was dissolving his self-control by the minute. She was just so fucking beautiful. And the sentiment seemed to be shared by most men in the food street but the way they'd eyed her up indecently made his blood hot. He'd glared at anyone who dared to meet his eyes the whole time they ate and when Nila wanted to use the restroom, there was no way in hell he would let her find it alone.

Once they found their way back to the bike, an ache creeped in at the situation. He'd never hated his inability to drive to this extent ever. Back before the accident, taking his girl on his bike, having her arms around him was one of his dreams. The fact that he couldn't give that to himself and Nila pained him. He trusted Krish of course but he could never be him.

Vijay watched as Nila spoke to Tarun, laughing and holding her palms to her mouth. She always looked so cute when she did that. And then Tarun dropped the keys into her palm and walked towards Krish's bike. "What happened?" Vijay asked.

Nila grinned and climbed the scooter, slotting the key in ignition. "Are you coming or not, runner boy?"

"What?"

She tipped her chin towards the empty seat behind her. "Hop on."

Vijay walked towards her, still not able to process it.

"What? You've never seen a woman drive?"

"No—No, I- that's not what I—I've always seen you take buses and auto. So I didn't expect—"

"That I know how to drive?"

"Yeah," he breathed. But sweet lord, this was hotter than anything he'd dreamt.

Nila must have loved the expression on his face that her smile never slipped. "Come on."

He climbed behind and rested his palms on his thighs, scrutinizing the little V of black leather dividing him and her. She strapped on the helmet and gave him his. "If I had known before, I would have swapped with Tarun and you wouldn't have to pretend to hate Krish for driving me."

"I didn't pretend to hate Krish," he bit out grudgingly.

"Sure," she said, "Let's go."

Vijay kept his hands to himself, but fuck was it the hardest thing he'd done. The wind wasn't helping, teasing him by exposing more of Nila's skin underneath her top. "You can hold me, you know?" she said. There was humor and a bit of nervousness mixed in her voice.

Vijay had held her so many times but somehow this time it felt different. All the other times, it came to him naturally by instinct, but not now. He placed his palms on her waist and Nila sucked in a breath at his touch. A smile touched his lips. He slowly popped out his thumbs and brushed the skin under her t-shirt. He held in a chuckle when goosebumps dotted her arms.

"I never knew you were so affected by my touch," he said. "I love it."

"Stop it," she said half-heartedly.

He grinned and pressed closer so that the seat wasn't visible between them anymore. He played with the ripped denim on her thighs. "This is better than anything I could've imagined."

"Vijay," she warned when his fingers wandered higher.

"Am I distracting you, silver?"

"I'm a better driver than that. I wouldn't get distracted on the road," she said.

Vijay smirked. "Oh, yeah?"

He brought his hands back to her waist, sliding it under her t-shirt slowly. Her stomach sucked in. He traced slow hearts on her skin, feeling her warm skin shiver under his cool touch. His fingers rose higher and higher and Nila's breathing wavered each time. When his fingers traced the band of her bra, she said, her voice shaking, "Do you want both of us to get killed?"

He pinned his hands on her hip again. "I thought you said you wouldn't get distracted on the road."

"I hate you."

"Wrong answer, silver." He brushed her skin again.

"Just shut up and stop teasing me."

"Be grateful for the helmet because if not for that, I would have kissed you right now."

"You're going to be the death of me," she said, shaking her head.

He let out a crisp laugh. "Funny because you're already killing me, silver."

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