N I N E ~ M A T U R E

N E R I D A

~ ~ ~

TWO YEARS LATER

~ ~ ~

I swiped the lip balm across my lips and then rubbed them together, fluffing my hair in the mirror one last time.

"NERIDA!" Jackson yelled for the umpteenth time.

"I'M COMING JACKIE!" I shouted back. I grabbed my purse and took my time walking out of my room, just to piss him off further.

I strolled into the kitchen, blessed with the sight of the monument that was Jackson Colt. He was dressed in his work clothes, dark blue cargo pants, tightly laced black boots and this useless grey t-shirt that did nothing to hide the rippling muscles underneath.

I've been seeing the same thing for the last two years and I've yet to become accustomed to it.

"Why do you insist on making us late every morning Nerida?" He sighed as he pushed my breakfast closer to me.

"Because, that look on your face gets me going," I teased, taking my seat at the island. He walked around and gave me my morning hug.

I frowned when he didn't give me my morning kiss and he immediately took notice. Jackson can read me like a book. It also doesn't help that my facial reactions are uncontrollable.

"Spoilt," he chuckled and gifted me my morning cheek and forehead kiss.

"Now eat up, we're already late," he turned to walk away and I grabbed his hand.

"Did you eat yet?" I frowned at him when he shook his head and, keeping his hand in mine, I took the plate and led us to the living room.

On the couch, I sat on his lap as usual and together we ate breakfast. When it was finally time to leave, we rode the elevator down to his car and got ready to brave the NY traffic.

Jackson just loves to be overdramatic in the morning. If it weren't for my 'lateness' we'd be forty-five minutes early to work every day.

"Do you and Juliette have any plans for tonight?" Jackson asked, interrupting the silence of the car.

"I don't know what Julie has in mind but I was just hoping for a quiet evening in," I answered, looking out the window at all the busy New Yorkers.

Juliette moved to New York about a year ago and stayed with us for the first few months. Then, she got her own place about twenty minutes from our building. Every time Jackson has to work at night, Juliette comes to stay with me because Jackson doesn't like it when I have to be alone in our apartment.

About thirty minutes later, we pulled up in front of the coffee shop I worked at. It wasn't the most elite job in the world but as a teenager, I always wanted to work in one, as corny as that sounds.

Plus, Jackson, my therapist, Nina, and I all agreed that getting a job would help with establishing my independence and teach me some responsibility, as well as help develop my socialization skills.

I loved it. My coworkers were awesome and my boss was pretty cool. The best part was all the people I got to interact with daily. Everyone was going about their own day with a unique story to tell. It was just so satisfying to me to be able to see a glimpse into the lives of so many.

"Have a good day at work Neri," Jackson wished and leaned over to place a lengthy kiss on my cheek. A soft blush coated my skin as I grew upset. I didn't want to leave him.

I undid my seatbelt and crawled over the console to straddle his lap.

"I don't want to leave," I whined, burying my head into his chest.

He kissed my forehead and cupped my cheeks, smushing them between his hands.

"Do you want to take a day? We can go somewhere fun."

I was so close to taking him up on his offer but I knew he had to go to work. He'd already taken more than a year for me and since he went back to work, he took a lot of days off. I need to try and conserve all the days I could for when I really needed him.

"No," I whispered sadly. "You need to go to work."

"I need to take care of you and make sure you're happy," he replied and my heart just erupted.

The way he cared for me...gosh it was like no other.

"And I am happy, 'cause I'm with you," I added afterward.

He grinned at me and then pecked my nose. He only acted like the big bad wolf to everyone else. Jackson was like a cuddly giant. He was warm and caring and my goodness did he make me feel special.

"Tomorrow, when I get back from work, I'm going to take you out for the day. How does that sound?"

I tried hard to keep my emotions at bay but I was failing. Jackson may not call it a date but in my mind, I'm going to pretend it's a date.

I gathered my stuff quickly and made him promise to call me whenever he got a chance. I jumped out of the vehicle on his side

It was hard to leave but the promise of tomorrow weighed heavily on my soul.

"I love you Jackie," I murmured, holding onto the door, ready to close it.

"I love you more Neri." He blew a kiss at me and I smiled, finally shutting the door after whispering a final 'see you later'. We never said goodbye to each other.

I turned away as he drove off, steeling my spine for a long day at work. From out here, I could see the mile long line at the cashier. The café was always busy, that was a constant.

I pushed open the door and immediately made my way to the employee room. I was the last to arrive so I quickly put my purse in my locker and put on my apron.

"Good morning Nerida," my coworker, Anna, greeted. I wished her a good morning and immediately began working on filling out orders.

"So, did lover boy drop you to work again," Anna teased and I was wondering how long it would've taken her to start.

"First of all, he is anything but a boy. And yes Anna, he drops me to work every day." I laughed at the way she wiggled her thick eyebrows as I expertly added creamer to the cappuccino in front of me. One of the main reasons I believe they hired me here was due to the fact that I am a master of coffee art.

Over the last two years, I've gotten the opportunity to try so many different hobbies with Jackson but developing on my art was the best part.

Back when I lived with my father, he would bring me pencils, paints, and brushes every month. When I wasn't watching TV, I was trying to draw and paint the characters.

Jackson really helped me develop those skills. From making a tiny art room in the apartment for me to accompanying me to every pottery class, he was the most supportive person in my life. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Because of him, I got my high school diploma. At first, it was pretty hard because I never realized how stupid I was until I learned how much I didn't know.

I was embarrassed and I was grateful for my therapist during that time because I was so ashamed to talk to Jackson about it. However, Jackson being Jackson, he figured it all out.

I remember bawling my little eyes out when he told me that I wasn't stupid and would never be stupid in his eyes. Such simple words, yet they were exactly what I needed to hear.

"I just don't understand how you get so close to such a man and not bag him immediately," Anna moaned as if thinking about my Jackson in a lewd way. My jaw clenched and I accidentally smudged my creamer leaf. "Aren't you worried about him getting a girlfriend?"

This is why I wished Jackson had never come into the shop months ago. These girls talked about him constantly and I didn't like it.

He was my Jackson and nothing is going to change that.

~ ~ ~

"What's up bitch? Your bestest friend in the entire world is here," I squealed when Julie busted into the shop, ready for our lunch date.

"Anna, I'm taking my lunch now." I took off my apron and grabbed my purse, rushing around the countertop to greet my best friend.

Juliette and I have grown impossibly close over the last two years. Whilst Jackson always made sure I was protected and growing in all aspects of my life, Juliette always made sure I had a great time. She made me feel like a rebellious teenager and I loved that she encourages me to be a free spirit.

"Ready for our lunch date?" Her blue eyes, much like her brother's, glistened in the dim light of the cafe and I found myself missing him. When I get to the restaurant, I'll text him.

We walked down the sidewalk hand in hand, towards this adorable luncheonette that served the best Caesar salads. We got there and were seated quickly, despite the lunchtime rush. I ordered my salad and Juliette ordered a double cheeseburger and steak fries. We always ended up sharing our food anyways so we balanced out the junk and the healthy food nicely.

"So I was thinking-"

"Well that can't be good," I interrupted and started snort-laughing at my own joke.

"Whatever. As I was saying, I heard from my coworker that this new club just opened up and it's the place to be. Apparently, they also serve the best burgers-"

"Oh no, I am not going to a club with you," I interrupted.

She pouted cutely, her matte red lips and platinum blonde hair validating her bombshell persona.

"But why? Don't you want to have a night on the town with me, your best friend in the entire world?"

"No Juliette. Don't you know that everything that can go wrong will go wrong in a club? What if somebody drugs me? Or what if you get drunk and leave with a guy and I'm stuck in the club with no way to go home? What if I go to the bathroom and some sicko corners me and tries to touch my boob?"

I could feel my anxiety rising so I welcomed the distraction when the waiter brought our food.

"I think you're overreacting here Nerida. Clubs have security guards, or at least the clubs I go to do. Plus, in real life, girls never go to the bathroom alone. We never do it on a regular day, why do it in a club?"

I bit my lip in thought, cursing myself for even considering her offer.

"Okay picture this. We dress up real sexy, you wear something nice and tight that'll show off those gorgeous tits of yours. I take some bombass pics of you, send it to Jackson. Bam! You're pregnant with his babies."

I choked on my drink and started coughing profusely, receiving strange looks from the patrons around us.

"Don't say those things." I tried to hide my fluster by stuffing my mouth with romaine lettuce, but Jules wasn't buying it.

"Oh come on, are we seriously going down this road again? Everyone knows you love each other so I don't know why you both don't just drop the act already."

"Of course we love each other. He saved my life and has taken care of me since."

"Duh, we know all that already. Doesn't change the fact that he's wanted to fuck you ever since you turned eighteen and you've wanted to marry him ever since, well... ever."

"That's not true Juliette. I'm like a little sister to him."

The thought saddened me.

"Oh really? He must be into incest then."

I tried to keep a straight face but I was fighting chuckles. The things that come out of Juliette's mouth, it's no wonder she sends Jackson crazy.

"You call him daddy, don't you?"

My eyes nearly bulged out of my head.

She said it so loud that this elderly couple stopped to shake their head at me.

I was caramel coloured and I turned red. That's how bashful I got.

"What the- Why would you?" I stammered.

"Wait, let me rephrase that. You want to call him daddy."

"Juliette!" I exclaimed frantically and had to shrink back in my seat when half the restaurant turned to us.

Whilst I was the picture of embarrassment, Juliette was laughing so hard she started snorting.

"You're so easy," Juliette finally sighed, wiping the tears out of her eyes.

"I don't like Jackson like that," I said, lying right through my pearly whites.

Juliette rolled her eyes heavenward and she looked so similar to her brother that it freaked me out for a second.

"I really don't know what's holding you back," she said. She was waving around a fry in her hand, munching on it as she ranted.

"Well for starters, he's ten years older than me."

Juliette snorted, acting as though my point was completely invalid, which it probably was in her eyes.

"I once fucked a forty-two year old, remember? So what's your point," she stated bluntly.

We stared each other down, hazel against blue but we both knew I could never say win when it comes to Juliette.

"Fine, I'll come to the club with you."

~ ~ ~

We'd just gotten back to the apartment and Juliette immediately ran to Jackson's alcohol cabinet. I don't drink because I'm only twenty and I want to do things the right way. Yes, I know that's ridiculous but it makes Jackson happy when I do good things, so I do them.

Whilst Juliette got started on her drinking for the night, I looked through my closet for an outfit that would do just what Juliette said; get me pregnant with his babies.

I have tried for the last year or so to get Jackson to notice me by slowly lowering the amount of clothing I wore and opting for a lot sexier clothing. However, it has never worked. I have never caught Jackson staring at my legs, boobs, ass, nothing.

As much as it warms my heart, it annoys the living daylights out of me.

It makes me feel as though I'm not attractive enough for him and that level of insecurity cripples me. My therapist would probably lose her shit if she heard me say this but my one goal in life is to be pleasing to Jackson. I want him to always be proud of me, happy with me and (I pray for this one) attracted to me.

Maybe tonight is the night. Tonight will be the night Jackson stops seeing me as his little sister and I will finally confess my feelings for him.

Yeah. Right.

I found a short, black and white pinstriped dress with a plunging neckline. It went all the way down to right above my belly button, leaving much room for my girls to flourish.

I approved of it and so did Juliette so I set about showering and pampering myself for tonight.

Juliette did my makeup since I still have not mastered that art. I did my own hair which didn't take long since I just held it up in a neat low ponytail. By the time I was finished with everything, I was immensely pleased with the final look.

"Jackson is going to die when he sees you."

He better

She started taking a bunch of pictures of me, handing out the strangest directions.

"Make it look slutty but like you're slutty and you don't know it."

"Act like you don't know your tits are outside."

"Bend over and pretend to apply lipstick."

Juliette was a basket case but I loved her dearly, craziness and all.

Whilst Juliette made the final touches to her look, I picked up my phone, wondering briefly if I should just tell Jackson where we were going.

I threw the idea in the trash immediately. Jackson was out there saving lives. If he knew that I was going to a club, he would worry about me all night and in his line of work, that could literally cost lives.

To divert my thoughts, I focused on double and triple checking that I packed everything I would need for tonight in my purse.

Juliette was finally finished ten minutes later and we got ready to leave the apartment.

I never expected that as soon as I was about to walk out the door, that Jackson would be there, looking as pissed as ever.

"Where the hell do you think you're going dressed like that."

~ ~ ~

my friends and i cannot go to restaurants

we are a mess

✨d o r i s✨