E L E V E N ~ M G K M

N E R I D A

~ ~ ~

I was in a daze.

I'd never been happier that I didn't have work because, after last night, I didn't even have the mental capacity to get off my bed, let alone make coffee all day.

Last night... was amazing.

Jackson actually touched me and let me touch him. I mean, we didn't go all the way and I had to blame myself for that since I fell asleep in the cab. I rolled over on the bed and screamed into the sheets.

Why did I have to be such a baby sometimes? He could've fucked me last night.

The thought alone made me shiver.

Thinking about his rough hands on my body, squeezing and touching me in any way, manner or form. He was so large in comparison to me and the difference was so... stimulating. I can't even begin to imagine what I would do if he just strips naked and let me admire him.

I wanted to sit and investigate every inch of him. I wanted him to lie by the window in the nude, let the morning sun shine on him so I could paint him.

I missed Jackson.

He had to go to work this morning and I really wished it wasn't so. I rolled out of bed and stood up, Jackson's hoodie falling down to my knees.

I briefly remember him waking me up last night to take off my dress but other than that, I was knocked out.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid," I mumbled to myself as I strolled into the kitchen.

I found a covered plate of scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast on the kitchen island and picked up the note next to it.

Good morning beautiful,

I deeply regret not being able to see those hazel eyes before I left for work this morning, even if waking up with you in my arms is enough to tide me over.

I'm sorry our night didn't go as planned but when I get home today, we should sit and have a conversation about everything that's been going on between us recently.

Until then, be a good girl for me okay?

Love, Jackie

I hugged the letter to my chest and squealed, spinning and dancing around the kitchen like a maniac.

I was so lucky to have him. There was no one more caring than Jackson. He made my eggs to the point of being burnt, just the way I liked it and even made sure to cut the crust off my toast.

He was so good to me and I wanted to show him that I appreciate everything he's done for me. I wanted him to know that I'm grateful to have him in my life, that I wanted to be with him.

I tucked away his letter into the little box where I usually kept them. Then I turned on the TV and watched some reruns of The Big Bang Theory while I scarfed down my breakfast.

I wasn't sure what my plan was for today. Usually, I would just work on my paintings but I knew I wouldn't be able to focus with all these thoughts of Jackson running through my head.

It was so hard to believe that the day was finally here; the day where I'd tell Jackson how I really felt. I was scared and nervous, yes, but I was excited more than anything else.

I needed to see him.

A light bulb went off above my head as an idea struck me.

I'll make some lunch for Jackson, dress really pretty and carry it to work for him. That way, I can get to see him and he can see that I am wife material.

An all round win-win situation.

I immediately began making his favorite meal, creamed pumpkin soup with freshly baked dinner rolls. Weird, I know, but Jackson will eat this any time of day and he eats alarming amounts. I don't care about his food preferences, I just care about making him happy.

It was only nine in the morning so I immediately got started, aiming to finish at noon. I knew I was taking a serious risk here since Jackson was a firefighter and could literally be out there saving lives as we speak.

I was hoping and praying that everything would fall into place, just for today, and when I get down to the station, Jackson will be there.

When I put the dinner rolls in the oven, I set about putting together my outfit. Jackson never really gave me an indication of the clothes he likes on me but after last night, short and tight all the baby.

I showered and moisturized my entire body with my honey coconut body butter, leaving my skin supple, smooth and shiny. And it smelt fantastic too.

As I put on my underwear, I remembered the dinner rolls in the oven and ran outside half naked. If Jackson only knew how often I'm naked in his house.

After leaving them to cool, I went back to our bedroom and changed into my chosen outfit. It consisted of a fitted, long sleeved, baby blue top and a short, white pinafore dress.

I wasn't going to wear a bra at first but decided to wear one at the last minute since I thought it would be appropriate for a workplace. Over the years I've grown to accept that yes, bras were heinous contraptions but they actually helped keep my boobs up and made Jackson less uncomfortable around me.

Usually, when I don't wear one, he finds it hard to even look me in the eye.

I paired the outfit with a simple pair of baby blue vans and left my hair open. I put a few hair clips on either side to keep my hair from flying in my face and finally, I was done.

I took out his soup in the largest Tupperware container that we owned and stacked about seven dinner rolls in a slightly smaller one.

I secured everything in one of my tote bags, got one of my little backpacks to put my phone and essentials, took my coat since winter was coming and Jackie would kill me if I left without it and then finally... I was off.

Going down in the elevator, I felt a little nervous since there weren't many times where I've travelled by myself before. I mean, technically there was a vehicle waiting for me right outside but this still counted as traveling.

What if the guy hit me in the back of the head with a bat and carried me to some abandoned building where he and some fashionable but heartless lady would sell me to the highest bidder?

"Breathe Nerida." I heard Jackson's soothing voice in my head and took a deep breath, just as the elevator opened on the ground floor. I waved at the doorman and the receptionist in the lobby before making my way outside.

I spotted my ride and climbed in, greeting the man extra nicely so he'll feel bad should he decide to knock me out and sell me. He double checked the address with me before we left and all throughout the ride, Jackson was the only thing on my mind.

How surprised would he be to see me?

Will he be happy?

Will he be mad I left home without telling him?

Oh, who am I kidding? Jackson could never be mad at me for too long.

Before I knew it, the car stopped, signaling that we'd arrived at our destination. I thanked him generously and promised a great review, thankful that I survived without a hair out of place.

I crossed the road and stood in front of the building where Jackson spent his days. The washed out brick walls showed evidence of the building's age and the firehouse red paint on the doors and windows could use a little more fire.

Putting my brave face on, I pushed open the doors and walked in, ready to tackle anyone who would get in my way. I was only 5'6" and had the face of a baby (Jackson's words), and he taught me that if I wanted to be taken seriously, I needed to stand up for myself and be brave always.

"Hello, I'm here to see Jackson Colt," I said to the lady at the front desk. It sounded a lot more assertive in my head but whatever. I'm still a mean, green killing machine.

"Aww, you must be Nerida," she cooed and stood up from her seat. I realized a few other men had gathered around us and I grew nervous from all of the sudden attention.

"How do you know my name?" I asked, genuinely curious. Did Jackson talk about me with his coworkers?

"Well, you're practically famous around here." Her statement only confused me further but I really didn't want to stand around and chat. I wanted to see Jackson.

She wisely sensed this and directed me to where Jackson was, supposedly having a meeting of some sort. I followed her directions swiftly and soon saw Jackson standing in an office with the door wide open.

Without a second thought, I ran into the office and jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck tightly. He held me in his arms securely and I finally felt at peace. I was in his arms again.

"Baby, what are you doing here?" I was still in his arms but leaned back so I could see those ocean eyes that I was obsessed with. Cerulean blue and shone so bright they made my heart stop every time.

"I missed you," I pouted and hugged him again. Suddenly remembering my other reason, I pulled back and held up the tote in my hands. "And I made you lunch! It's your favourite too."

His eyes lit up and I felt the satisfaction course through me. Mission accomplished, I made him happy.

He sat me down on the desk, his arms on either side of my body, and I was ready to pick up where we started off last night, if it wasn't for the loud, obnoxious throat clearing.

I turned to the source and found a woman sitting to the front of the desk. She was older than me from what I could tell and was quite pretty actually. She had a really large bust, bigger than mine and by her professional looking pantsuit, she was an important lady.

She was someone that Jackson would look great with.

She was better than me

The thought infuriated me.

Not forgetting my manners, I introduced myself and stuck out my hand, loving the height I got from sitting on the desk. Then she stood up and I was back to my natural state of dwarfism.

"Hi, I'm Kelly. You must be Jackson's daughter?"

I hated her.

Yes, I looked like a teenager half the time and yes, people often mistook me for one but this lady just said that on purpose.

"I'm not his daughter. Who are you?" My tone was sharp and any trace of my previous niceties was gone.

"Well, I'll have you know, little girl, that I am a detective and I was interviewing Jackson here about an accident that took place yesterday."

I tried to climb on the desk so I could be at the perfect level to kick her in the throat and still be taller but Jackson held me and took me down.

"I'm not a little girl you little wretch. I'm twenty years old."

She raised one perfectly arched eyebrow and I found myself hating her even more. I've always wanted to be able to do that.

"Shouldn't you be in college?"

"Shouldn't you be on a bed waiting for someone to fix that substandard nose of yours."

I could take it, but I could also dish it out just as fast. Juliette taught me to never let pompous people like her make me feel inferior and I've never had a chance to test out my skills until today.

"Keep your dog on a leash," she said, turning to Jackson and I may have growled, validating her statement.

"The only dog in here is you, bitch, and you should learn to fix your attitude."

She scoffed at my words and turned to Jackson again, who has yet to say anything to defend me. I struggled out of his arms and turned to face him but there was this unreadable expression on his face.

He just stood there and let this woman insult me. Given, I insulted her too and I am capable of handling myself, but still... doesn't he care?

I dropped the tote and made a mad dash out of the fire station. I ran across the road, disregarding every rule that I've ever learned about road safety, and dived into the safety of my awaiting cab.

This clearly didn't go as planned, but three things were clear.

I was feeling mean, something inside me definitely felt green and when Jackson got home, I was about to turn into a killing machine.

~ ~ ~

i genuinely feel as though the worst pain someone can experience is a blow to the throat

it cripples you

✨d o r i s✨