: Chapter 13

It had been two weeks since I had seen Preston. Two weeks since my scan.

He hadn’t been near me. No messages, no calls.

But then why would he? He had everything he needed. He knew my appointments, but yet for some reason, silly old me thought he would still be here.

He isn’t interested in me, I knew that. The hot as fuck sex was pure lust. Months of just talking and nothing more grew into tension. We made sure we fucked the tension out of our friendship and now here we were.

I was pregnant and alone.

He was no doubt out dating or fucking another whore.

I felt my stomach roll with nausea.

My phone vibrates on the coffee table, I sigh reluctantly as I move forward and check the screen. My brows pull when I see a number I don’t recognise.

“Hello,” I say quietly.

“Skylar? It’s Dr Spencer, is now a good time to speak?” his voice is soft.

“Oh, hi. Yes, yes of course. Is everything okay?” my heart thumped in my chest. The fear that something had come up on my bloodwork spiking my anxiety.

“Yes, it’s all fine. Your bloods are good, I would recommend to continue taking your pre-natal vitamins.”

I sighed, relieved and nodded like he was sitting here.

“Okay, that’s fine.” I smiled into the phone.

The line crackled with silence for a moment before he began to speak again.

“Please pardon my manners here, and I apologise if this comes across rude in any way…” he trailed off.

“Go on.”

“Well, I was wondering if I could take you for dinner? I know you told me that the guy at your scan wasn’t your boyfriend, but I needed to ask.”

I blushed, my heart skipping a beat.

“He isn’t my boyfriend, no. There is nothing going on between me and Preston romantically…” I stopped for a moment, the realisation sinking in, “there is nothing between me and Preston at all anymore, the only thing we have between us is this baby.”

The line fell quiet again.

“And yes, I would love to go for dinner,” I beamed.

“Oh, excellent. Tonight okay?”

“Let me just check my diary.” I lied. Of course, it was fine. I had no plans. The only person I had plans with was Harriet but she was away this weekend at the venue tasting the wine for her wedding.

“Yup, tonight is perfect.”

“Okay, perfect. I’ll get you at seven, is that okay?”

“Seven is fine,” my tone was curt and clipped. I didn’t mean for it to be, but it was just another punch in the gut, making me remember what Preston put me through. Dr Spencer was handsome, sweet and kind and yet I was pining over someone who saw me as nothing more than a prostitute.

“Okay, I’ll see you at seven. Bye Skylar.”

“Bye…” I trailed off, I didn’t know his first name.

“Aiden.”

“Bye Aiden, see you at seven.”

The phone went dead before the panic set in.

Fuck it.

I text Harriet in a rush.

Me: I have a date tonight!! Help!?

She replied instantly.

Harriet: Ooo, a date with who?? Is it your baby daddy?

I rolled my eyes.

Me: No! It’s with the hot doctor from my scan. What do I wear?!

The three dots appeared.

Harriet: Where are you going?

My eyes widened.

Me: I have no idea. Two minutes.

I come out the screen of my message to Harriet and message the number that Aiden called me from.

Me: Hi Aiden, it’s Skylar. Sorry for messaging, but where are we going tonight? Just so I know what to wear. X

He replies almost instantly.

Aiden: Smart casual. Can’t wait to see you.

My heart thumps as I find Harriet’s name again.

Me: Smart casual!?

Harriet: Dress. Wear a dress, a little pair of heels and curl your hair.

“Okay, I can do that. I have loads of nice clothes and shoes. It’s fine.” I said out loud to the empty flat. Quickly glancing at the time, I exhaled slowly. I had two hours. Two hours to not panic, two hours to decide what to wear, two hours before a proper date. A date where no one was paying me for my time. A date where they actually wanted to take me out instead of using me for sex.

I run for the bedroom and take one look at myself in the mirror. Jesus, I needed a shower.

Once I was washed, shaven and moisturised I stared at my wardrobe. I had no clue what to wear. Was a dress to eager? Would it show I was easy? No, no of course not.

Loads of girls wear dresses for dates.

I dropped my towel and looked at my little belly that had begun to pop, or it could just be bloat. Either way, it was making me conscious. I didn’t want to wear anything too tight, too restricting because as soon as I eat it’ll grow.

Ignoring the niggling in my brain that is my subconscious, I grab a thigh length black tube dress. Sure, it’s tight, but it fits nice. Slipping it on, I turn to the side, trying to hold my stomach in before letting it out. Pointless. My little bloat pouch will be seen. It’s not like my pregnancy is a secret to him.

I slipped my feet into chunky heeled boots and brush the ends of my hair out. I looked so dull and washed out, the sickness was still so fierce in the morning.

Puffing out my cheeks I sit on my bed and drop the contents of my make-up bag on the duvet. I layer foundation, highlighter and brush bronzer on my cheek bones and finish off with a flick of mascara. I didn’t fancy doing my lipstick, just smudged clear lip balm over them to stop them from getting dry.

I calmed myself down, I felt like I was sweating. I probably was sweating.

I swallowed, trying to coat my throat in anything other than dryness. I looked at the clock, I had five minutes. All I wanted to do right now to calm my nerves was to down a glass of wine. You know, Dutch courage and all that.

It’s fine.

It’ll be fine.

I paced up and down the floor of the small flat, my heart racing ten to the dozen. I honestly felt like it was skipping beats in my chest which was causing me to feel breathless.

Jumping when the buzzer sounded through the flat, I rushed over, pushing the intercom and answering.

“Who is it?” I said in my calmest voice. I didn’t need Dr McHottie to know that I was a nervous ball of energy on the inside.

“Sunshine.” His delicious, deep hum of a voice sent butterflies straight to my core.

My blood ran cold, no, no no.

“You can’t be here. Go.” I snapped.

“Let me up Skylar.”

“No,” I shook my head.

“Oh, thank you kind sir,” I heard Preston’s voice slip away before the click of the communal door shutting.

Shit.

I rushed around the flat, but I don’t know why.

Shit, shit, double shit.

Aiden will be here any minute, and fucking Preston is outside my door.

Fuck.

I still when there is a gentle tap on the door, I rush over looking through the peep hole already knowing who it is.

Slipping the chain across the door, I open it slightly so he can’t force his way in. Not that I think he would but I would rather him be that side of the threshold.

“What do you want?” I say through a strained smile, my heart constricting and thumping hard against my ribcage as if she was trying to escape to get to the man who had a hold on her.

“I wanted to come and see you, it’s been a while, and well… I miss you.”

I want to lunge myself at him, smash my lips into his and let him show me just how much he misses me but I can’t.

“You lost the right to miss me.” I snarl, the bitter side of myself rising, my walls growing higher by the minute.

“Sky…”

“Shut up.” I snap, “You don’t get to call me that anymore.” My hormones raging, my temper flying. I slam the door shut, spinning and pressing my back against the door. I needed a minute.

The door buzzed again.

Pressing the button, I stayed quiet for a moment.

“Skylar?” I heard Aiden’s voice come through the speaker.

“Yeah, come up,” I stammer before letting go of the button. I grab my bag and turn for the door.

It didn’t matter what I done, because either way Preston was going to see me going out with the doctor whether I liked it or not.

Slipping the chain across and letting it hang down on the back of the door, I reached for the door handle and inhaled deeply, holding my breath before swinging the door open.

My eyes locked with a clenched jaw Preston, his head turned and his eyes narrowed and pinned to—I’m guessing— a just as shocked Aiden.

I step over the threshold, closing the door behind me softly and locking it.

I turn to see Aiden standing on the second step, his fingers wrapped around the stair rail.

“What the fuck is he doing here?” Preston roared, spinning his head round to look at me again.

“I’m taking her out,” Aiden piped out.

“Like fuck you are.” Preston growled, reaching for my arm and pulling me into him.

“Preston, let me go.” I plead.

“No,” he shook his head. His grip tightening on the top of my arm.

This was not happening.

“Preston… please, you’re hurting me.” He instantly let go, looking down at me so I could see the pain in his eyes.

“I have to go…” I whispered, stepping away from him and towards a smirking Aiden.

“You look beautiful,” his voice was quiet, but not quiet enough for Preston not to hear. All I could do was smile.

Once at the bottom of the steps, I looked back to see Preston just standing there, defeated.

If I didn’t know better I’d think I had broken him.

“I thought you said nothing was going on between you and Preston,” Aiden said as he cut into his rare steak. I clenched my teeth together, taking deep breaths through my nose to try and ride the nausea out. I couldn’t stand the smell of steak or the smell of the oil and fat that it was cooked in at the moment.

“There isn’t,” I gritted out, reaching for my water and taking a big mouthful.

“Didn’t seem that way earlier,” he licked his lips as he took a mouthful of his own water.

I nodded, trying to do anything to distract me from the smell that was invading me, but it was no use, my stomach rolled and I knew I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Please excuse me,” I rushed out, pushing up from the table and running through the busy restaurant. As soon as I pushed through the door of the ladies toilets, I hunched over the bowl and hurled the contents of my stomach up.

Standing slowly, I held my stomach and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

I pulled my phone out of my bag, my stomach rolled once more. I wanted to text Preston to come and get me, but I couldn’t do that to Aiden. It wasn’t fair, and it was a mega bitch move.

I dampened a paper towel from the towel dispenser and pressed it against the back of my neck. I was hot and that didn’t help with the sickness that was crashing over me like a tidal wave. Inhaling deeply, I discarded the tissue paper, washed my hands and headed for the door. Aiden’s concerned expression soon faded once he saw me walking back towards him.

“You okay? I was worried about you,” he said as he rushed out of his seat to pull mine out.

“I’m fine, just a little nauseous.” I nodded, taking a mouthful of water then patting my mouth with a napkin.

“Let’s go,” he smiled, leaning across and rubbing his thumb across the back of my hand.

“Are you sure? You’ve hardly eaten.” I felt bad, guilt nibbling away at my insides.

“Positive, we can grab a burger on the way home,” he winked, leaning back and signalling the waiter.

I leant down and reached for my purse to get my card out but he shook his head.

“No way, this is my treat. I asked you on a date, not the other way round,” he let out a soft chuckle as he threw his card down on the table.

I blushed, slipping my card back into my purse. I felt bad—no—I felt awful that we were leaving and for some reason even worse knowing that he paid.

“Shall we?” he asked softly, standing and holding his hand out for me to take which I did gladly.

I was a little surprised when I didn’t feel the spark, that feeling of adrenaline pumping through me and it disappointed me. I always felt it with Preston which only made my heart plunge into the acid of my stomach.

He led me out to his waiting car, opening the door and letting me slide in. Plugging myself in, I tapped my fingers on my lap as I waited for Aiden. I smiled as he slipped in, he leant across and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Nothing.

No buzz, no fire burning in the pit of my stomach like I read in many of my romance novels. I sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing. Just tired,” I rubbed my lips together into a thin line.

“Not a problem, I’ll take you home unless you want food?”

I shook my head from side to side, “No thank you,” I gave him a weak smile. “I am really sorry about tonight, I thought the sickness was subsiding as I only get it of a morning now but seems my little munchkin wanted to play games,” I smirk.

“It can come and go throughout unfortunately, call my clinic tomorrow and I’ll get you some anti-sickness tablets sorted. It should help,” he gave me a weak smile as he pulled kerbside to my street.

“Thank you so much again, and I am so sorry.”

“Skylar, don’t say sorry. We can always do it again,” he leant across, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

I blushed.

Fear crippled me suddenly, my stomach churning and rolling. Maybe this isn’t morning sickness. My hands felt clammy, my head beginning to bead with sweat.

“Shit,” I whispered, my hand cupping my mouth but it happened too quickly. Aiden couldn’t even move if he wanted to, my spare hand gripped onto his as the contents of my stomach covered his car, myself and him.

My eyes widened, the smell of sick prominent.

I was fucking mortified.

“Oh my god,” I whispered through hot tears that were streaming down my face.

Aiden said nothing, just closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. He opened the door, stepping out ever so slowly before walking to my side.

Even covered in my sick he was still a gentleman.

He opened the door and held his hand out for me.

“Aiden, I…”

He shook his head, “It’s fine,” he smiled.

My heart thumped.

“Do you want to come in? Clean off?”

He dropped my hand and stepped back, “No thank you, I think I am just going to go home and throw all of this in the bin,” he waved his hand up and down his body before laughing which made me laugh.

“I am so sorry.” I whispered as I walked onto the pavement and toward my house.

He followed, making sure I made it into my apartment block.

“I’m fine, go home and burn your clothes,” I half laughed.

“I’ll call you later?”

I nodded.

He turned, walking quickly to his car and speeding off down the road.

He won’t call you, pukey pants.

My subconscious snarled.

Pushing through the communal door, I stilled. The hairs standing on the back of my neck, my skin prickling in goosebumps. I turned, looking over my shoulder to see a light grey Mercedes G-Wagon. Relief swept over me, never would I have been happier to see a stranger’s car over Preston’s Range Rover but I can’t think about him like I used too.

Sure, the feelings are still there. The way my heart sings along to the beat of his, the way his voice breezes over my skin bringing me back to life. The way my soul combusts with a ray of bright colours, bringing my mediocre grey and white world to a rainbow of colour. He was the colour to my soul. The key to my happiness. But I had to push those feelings away, lock them in a teeny tiny box and keep him there. I couldn’t go there with him again.

I can’t get attached.

Letting the communal door slam into its frame I climbed the stairs. I needed to get this sick stained dress off me. I needed a shower. I stunk. I was disgusting.

Dumping my bag inside my flat, I shut the door behind me. Pressing my back against the surface, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes.

Sighing, I kick my shoes off and peel my sick covered dress and let it fall to the floor. I was exhausted. Once in my bedroom I slipped my knickers and bra off and headed to the bathroom, letting the shower run for a minute to get the hot water to kick in. I stood, running my hand under the water. Nothing.

Damn it.

The tears prick and sting the back of my eyes.

Turning the dial off, I grab a towel and wrap it round myself. I need to get the boiler done, I have the money now, all thanks to Preston. I am just being too protective of it. The hot water lasts just enough for one shower, which I’d had earlier, I don’t know why I thought it would last for a second.

The silence was interrupted by a bang on the front door.

“Fuck’s sake,” I muttered under my breath. Holding my towel tighter round my body, I padded across the apartment to the peep hole.

Preston.

“Go away!” I shout through the door.

“Let me in, just for a second.” His voice was rushed.

I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him. I was hungry, I was tired, and I was fucking disgusting.

Sighing, I slide the chain across, opening the door and walking back towards my bedroom.

“Sky?” he called out as the door closed behind him.

I ignored him. I needed a minute. I needed a breather. I needed to move away from him because of the magnetic pull that I felt constantly when he was near.

He tapped on my bedroom door, his eyes scanning round my tiny apartment.

“What do you want?” I spat, tears filling my eyes as I faced him.

“Baby,” he sighed, rushing towards me and cupping my face. “What’s wrong? Did that cunt hurt you?” his sweet tone was soon replaced by anger, his jaw tight and I swear I heard his teeth grind.

“No, he didn’t and he wouldn’t.” I shook my head, letting my head fall. “He isn’t an arsehole.” My eyes now burned into the floor. Unlike you, you Adonis God arsehole.

“Is it because you were sick over him?” he asked which made me snap my head up so quick I was surprised I didn’t give myself whiplash, my eyes widening as I took his smug expression in.

“You saw?”

“Of course, I saw, I’ve been sitting out front since you left.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course you have,” I pulled his hands from my face and stepped back.

Preston leant down, pressing his mouth against my tummy.

“Good job, looking out for Daddy,” he grinned, gently fist bumping the baby through my bump.

“Stop it,” I groaned, stepping back and sitting on the edge of the bed as the tears began to fall, realisation slowly seeping in.

“Why are you crying?”

“I am fed up Preston.” I nibble the inside of my lip, I don’t want to cry.

“Of?” his brows pricked as he fisted his hands into his suit pocket.

“Everything,” I fall back on the bed, holding my towel in place.

I felt the bed dip, Preston laid down beside me.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way…” he muttered, “but you stink.”

Then the tears fell even faster. I smudged my mascara with my hands as I tried to wipe them away.

“I know! I know I stink, why do you think I am just laying here in a towel!?” I scream, standing from the bed and spinning to face Preston. “My boiler doesn’t work, I only get enough hot water from the immersion for one shower a day and for some stupid reason I thought I could greedily have another one.”

I couldn’t even try and stop the tears now, even if I wanted too. They were just rolling down my face, staining my cheeks through my foundation.

Preston rushed in front of me, cupping my face in his large hands as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

“Come home with me, pack a bag and come and stay with me for a few nights. I’ll sort this all out.”

I didn’t say anything. I wanted to argue back, I wanted to stamp my feet like a spoiled brat and tell him no, but I was too tired and I desperately needed a shower.

I nodded, pulling out of his grasp and walking to my wardrobe. I grabbed a lounge suit and headed for the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

It wasn’t long before I was sitting in the grey G-Wagon that was sitting out front. I scoffed. I should have known it was stalker Joe.

I looked behind me at the contents of my life in three duffel bags, that’s all I had. Most of it was bought by my clients, I didn’t have much when I bought my apartment.

“You okay?” Preston asked, his fingers wrapped round the steering wheel as his eyes landed on me.

“Fine,” I mutter, knotting my fingers together as I shut the conversation down. The rage and anger I felt towards Preston was still burning away, I needed to calm myself down but it was proving rather difficult. I didn’t even know what I wanted from him. He had apologised, he had given me space and shown up when I needed him, yet it still wasn’t enough.

I don’t think anything would be enough.

He pulled into the underground car park for the hotel then grabbed my bags. I let myself out and headed towards the lift that took us straight to his penthouse.

I strolled through to the lounge area, sighing as I looked over the lit up city.

“You okay?”

“You’ve already asked me that.” I snap, turning and snatching the bags off him. “I’m going for a shower.”

He rubs his lips together, his own sigh leaving him as he stalks towards the kitchen and leaving me be.

Laying in the tub, I hid under the bubbles. This felt amazing. The hot water blanketing me, the oils I used from Preston’s toiletry cupboard making me feel totally zen, and glad I decided to soak in a bath rather shower. I looked around the large bathroom, this room must be the size of my flat. It was ridiculous. The dark grey slate tiles wrapped round the room giving it an edgy, modern feel. You would think it would make the room dark, but the darkness was soon lifted with the large mirrors, bright lights and silver accessories dotted around, plus it had a floor to ceiling window that overlooked the city through lightly frosted glass. I could see out, but no one could see in thanks to the mirror coating on the outside. It was simply stunning. I felt my blood pump at the thought of working on a project as beautiful as this.

I needed to do something more, I needed to be something more than a high-end escort. Preston is paying me a wage, plus the money at the end with the baby. I will have the money.

Letting the thoughts sink in for a moment, I made a choice. I wasn’t holding it off anymore, I was going to sell my shitty flat, and enrol into an interior designing course. I smiled; a heavy weight felt like it had lifted. A waft of lavender filled my nose, breathing it in deeply and returning to my moment of zen.

Nothing could ruin this moment.

Or so I thought until Preston walked in.

Moment ruined.

“Here,” he said softly, tiptoeing into the room.

I turned to look at him. I’m sure I had a look of pure disgust on my face.

He handed me a peppermint tea, “Drink this. It’ll settle your stomach.” He smiled sweetly and suddenly I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I was being horrid to him.

“Thank you,” my voice was soft, my eyes wide and doe like as I looked up at him.

“It’s good you haven’t been sick anymore,” he reached down, his thumb brushing over my cheek before his hand moved around to the back of my head.

“I don’t think I have anything left in me.”

“What have you eaten today?”

“Dinner that I threw back up.”

I saw his brows pinch and furrow.

“Sky, you’re pregnant, you cannot live off one meal a day.” His tone was harsher now but not horrible, he wasn’t scolding me and he wasn’t angry with me.

“I know,” I muttered as I tore my eyes away from him.

“It’s fine, I’ll look after you Sunshine.” He smiled, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of my head before he turned and walked out of the room leaving me once more, alone with my thoughts.

Once out of the bath, I headed towards the lounge area. I had dressed in a silk nightie, I felt hot and my tummy felt bloated and constricted. Maybe I should have gone for shorts and one of Preston’s tees.

I was a little disappointed that I didn’t see Preston. Did I want to see him? Yes. But also, I didn’t. He clouds my mind, clouds my judgement. Walking to the kitchen area, I saw a tray with a silver dish over the top. The smell made my stomach groan, the hunger ripping through me.

Lifting it up I saw sliced chicken, mash and greens. I licked my lip, trying to contain the saliva that was currently forming in my mouth. I smiled at the little note that was sitting on the tray next to the plate.

Folding the note back over, I started going through the drawers to find the cutlery. Sitting at the breakfast bar, I managed a couple of mouthfuls before I felt full. I wanted to eat more, but I didn’t want to push it and make myself sick again.

I cleaned up after myself and suddenly, I felt at a loss. I walked to my bedroom and found my phone, checking the time, I pressed Harriet’s name and waited for her to answer.

“Hey beautiful, how was the date?” I could hear the excitement in her voice.

“Oh you know, it went great. I threw up in the restaurant and then threw up all over Aiden when we got home so yeah… don’t think I’ll be hearing from him again.” I sighed.

“Oh no,” she whispered down the phone. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I feel better now that I am clean and have a tummy full of food.” I run my finger along the edging of the cabinets in my bedroom as I listened intently. She spent the next ten minutes telling me all about the wedding and that she thinks they’ve done everything they can until the big day now. Moving from my room, my feet carried me out to the hallway. I didn’t want to go anywhere in particular; I was just walking aimlessly around the penthouse when I came to Preston’s office. I pushed the door gently, revealing a beautifully decorated office. It was similar to the one in the basement where we used to have our meetings.

I headed straight to the books, running my fingers along the spines when I stilled, seeing a baby book.

“Harriet, I’ll call you back,” I mutter, cutting the phone off and putting it on the desk.

I pulled the book out, opening it on the folded pages. My heart burst.

Preston had tabs, post it notes and little notes scribbled all throughout the book.

He was excited. He was preparing. He was trying to be perfect.

My eyes scanned the shelves for the next book. This one was all about mums to be.

My heart swelled in my chest.

I had loved Preston from the early days that he crashed into my world in the best possible way. I had a crush on him as soon as I met him, but the love side of our relationship stemmed a few months after. He treated me with kindness and was attentive to my needs, even though we never done anything other than talk he always put me first. He still did. Yes, he hurt me. But we were having a baby together and I didn’t want our child to grow in a hostile home all because I couldn’t get my feelings in check. I had to protect my heart, I had to protect myself because walking away from Preston and the baby would surely kill me.

Yes, this was moving fast, but the love side of it—if I was truly honest with myself—I had loved him for years.