19: HOME
Unconventional Desires
DELILAH
The rest of the night went without incident, a few more drinks. No more mention of harder subjects. A few guests getting a little rowdy, causing both boys to tend to them. While they were busy, I slipped out, feeling more than a little dizzy from the amount of drinks I had had. Losing count after the fourth, considering I didnât drink much in the first place.
Before I knew it, my alarm was going off to announce that the car would arrive in two hours, with my phone sitting at 8%. Plugging it in while I got dressed had only gained me a little bit of life, sitting closer to 22% by the time my bags were packed and I was out the door. Suddenly feeling⦠very lonely as I sat in the driveway with my bags; glancing around to see neither brother.
While I hadnât expected any large send-off or even both of them to even say goodbye, considering the way they were teasing me last night, I had at least expected some sort of send-off. Not this huge freeze-out.
~Was it because I hadnât said yes immediately?~
The thought was a dark one as I rubbed my arms. But not one I could put aside as the silver car came up the driveway. The ones that followed not being much better as I placed my bags into the trunk and slid into the vehicle. Wondering if they had just been playing with me in the first place. That all of this had been a huge mistakeâ¦
By the time I finally made it home, my held-back tears had been successfully suppressed, and my thought process so far beyond either brother. Realizing that ~this~ was my reality and any retainer that had been discussed with Cole⦠maybe had been marvelously blown up after last night. I hadnât even given him information to send me money, the most he and he alone had to contact me by was email or phone.
Unlocking the door and going inside did little to lighten my mood; since I still lived off paper utensils and what looked to now be a deflated air mattress. Taking a deep breath, I did my best to shake it off. Reminding myself that life went on, and they would be a pleasant and somewhat confusing memory to bookmark in my mind.
Shutting and locking the door behind me, I went straight to the bathroom, tying up my hair and getting to work. Starting with laundry and ending with attempting to find the hole in my air mattress, the hours slipped by. Not realizing my phone had died until I sat on my hot pink bean bag with my plastic plate full of chicken alfredo to watch something on the small TV. With no way to stream, I retreated to my blow-up mattress. Deciding it was a good test for the duct tape that would make this meal go either pleasantly or poorly as I threw my phone on the charger.
The result was a pleasant meal, with a new marathon on my laptop that had my eyes heavy by the time the sun had set. With no plans the following day, and no work obligations to speak of for over the next twenty-four hours, I closed my eyes; happy to drift onto another day. Leaving my laptop open and empty plate beside me on the ground.