chapter 19: lust

The woman, her face glowering as she tried do discern and disable all the fervent emotions running through her like a rapid river, slammed the hotel door shut.

August's shoulders jumped when Willow had practically thrown her into the room and then slammed the door as if she were in a great deal of trouble and soon to be punished.

"What's wrong with you?" August asked, her voice no longer timid or small. She wanted to know what was going through Willow's head. She had acted so happy to be around her earlier that day, then suddenly changed to acting aloof and painfully cold towards the girl, then she had suddenly freaked out on the man who was being inappropriate, coming in and saving the day like some savior. The woman's constantly changing mood was exhausting her.

Willow paced back and forth across the room but stopped dead in her tracks after she heard the girl's barbed tone. "What's wrong with me?" she deadpanned, her eyebrows lifting in disbelief.

"Yes, you! You are acting like a bipolar, crazy psycho!" August threw her hands up in the air, releasing the emotions she had been feeling towards the woman the entire night.

She ran a hand through her black, shiny hair, closing her eyes momentarily as she fought back the curse words threatening to spill over her lips. "You know, you really love using that word to describe me, don't you?"

"You really love acting like what that word means, don't you?" August sassed, placing her hands on her hips and looking at the woman with an austere gaze.

Willow had to simply laugh. She was so sickeningly fed up with the entire night. She was fed up with the girl, with the man whom she still had thoughts about killing, and she was fed up with the torture in her heart and mind. She wanted to hate the girl; she wanted to hate her so badly. But she couldn't.

So she just sat down in a chair at the table, resting her elbows on her knees and her face in her hands. She squeezed her eyes shut, taking deep, slow breaths and trying to shake all the many thoughts racing through her mind. But she couldn't shake away the look in Hank's eyes when he had trailed his repugnant hand down a part of August's body that she had stared at only several minutes before and ached to touch so badly. The fact that he had touched her without asking, as if he deserved the right to do so, made the rage inside Willow swell.

"Willow..." August's voice was softly concerned as she looked down at the woman who covered her face with her hands and was breathing rapidly. "Are you okay?"

Willow shot up from her seat, looking at August with nearly teary eyes. Her entire face was tinctured a light red color from the hot anger that was balling her fists and pursing her lips. "No." Her voice was threatening, but something in August trusted that the anger wasn't towards her.

There was also something else in August that knew why the woman was upset. She knew, but she was terrified of hearing it out loud. But the time she had spent being confused by Willow's back and forth behavior prompted her to crave hearing it loud. She wanted to know. "Why not?"

Green eyes disappeared under their lashes. "Because..." she shakily whispered at first, her voice growing louder with each word, "the way he looked at you, August. I knew what was thinking. I know exactly what he was thinking." The vision of the man's libidinous eyes, staring at August like she was flesh and he was carnage, whipped through the woman's mind, making her feel trapped by her own rage. She needed to release it. She wanted to run back downstairs, grab the man by his neck, and....

"What...was he thinking?" she hesitantly asked, licking her lips. She knew very well what the man had been thinking—she had felt it in his lustful touch. But she wanted to hear Willow say it. She saw something in those green irises, something that was slowly but surely boiling over. She knew that at any moment, it would spill.

Willow's eyes fell to the floor before slowly raising to the girl. Her swarthy blue eyes looked at hers with an almost pleading look. She then realized that the only relief she would be able to feel would be found in those eyes. So she chewed on her lower lip for a moment, weighing her options, before finally responding with, "The same thing I think when I look at you."

August's heart seemed to stop beating, or maybe it skipped a beat, losing its rhythm and stumbling over the floor of her chest that was cluttered by the bewitching woman's magnificent eyes. Part of her was scared, telling herself she should have stopped the moment right there in its tracks. But another part of her was so curious to see what was on the other side of those tracks, to finally make tangible sense of her and the woman's complicated, twisted relationship.

"And what exactly do you think when you look at me?" she whispered tremulously.

The woman took a step closer so that she was not even inches away from the younger girl who stared up at her with those blue puppy dog eyes, with that button nose, those tantalizing lips that drove Willow even crazier than August claimed her to be. She thought about earlier that morning on the couch and when she had walked in on the girl changing. She wanted to feel that closeness again. She wanted to see the girl different than everyone else saw her. She wanted to see every last part of her. She wanted to bury herself in her body, to take pleasure in her. She had never wanted anything more in her entire life, and she didn't have a damn clue why. She couldn't argue with herself anymore, not in that moment. If she didn't release the tension and frustration living and growing inside of her, she was sure she would go insane. She had to let the feelings escape. She had to do something about the way electricity laced her bloodstream every time she went near the girl.

Admitting her feelings was a train that had already left the station. Accepting them was the limb fallen across the train tracks but not for another few miles ahead. Right then, in that moment, accepting her feelings for August was something Willow would have to deal with later, because it was like a strike of lightning hit her as she closed the space between her and the girl, grabbing her slender waist and pulling her near as she leaned down and crashed her lips onto hers.

August couldn't think and didn't want to. All she could feel was the woman's strong hands around her waist and her teasingly soft lips pressing against hers. She didn't kiss back at first, too shocked for her muscles to respond, but after only two seconds, she lifted her hands and rested them on the woman's face, feeling for the first time her sharp cheekbones underneath her gentle fingers as she moved her lips in sync with hers.

The passion between them grew as Willow, contrary to her prior beliefs, did not feel a release of the lust that had been eating away at her. Instead, the lust only grew, provoked by the softness of the girl's lips and the way she placed her delicate hands on either side of her face. Her grip on August's waist tightened as she drew the shorter girl as close to her as possible, pressing her front against her while August's hands stayed holding her tingling cheeks.

August's entire body seemed to be lit ablaze as the woman's taller one pressed against it, shivers running up and down her sides that the woman groped. She felt as if she was basically being infected by the woman's lust like a needle injecting heroin into her veins, and she loved every single delectable second of it.

Willow devoured her lips, her breathing growing heavy as she felt herself losing the control she had been trying so hard to hold onto. Before she knew it, she was softly pushing the girl backwards, leading her through the doorway into the bedroom. August felt the edge of the bed press against her back, and Willow leaned forward, causing the girl to fall onto the bed and the woman right on top of her.

August's breath hitched in her throat at the force of the woman's body on hers, but she let out an audible gasp through their never-ending kiss as she felt the woman's knee slip between her thighs, pushing them apart and staying there, not daring to move any more lest it touch the place higher up between her legs that was burning with desire for her.

Willow pulled away, needing to breathe fresh air into her nearly collapsing lungs. But no matter how much fresh air she inhaled, the sight in front of her sucked any air she had right back out of her lungs. The girl was on her back, staring up at her with a polluted look on her eyes, her blue irises darkened with an all-consuming, fiery lust that nearly matched the woman's. Her lips were swollen and red from the ferocity with which Willow had devoured them. The space between her legs was filled by the woman's knee, and Willow felt like she was feeling the passion radiate through her all over again.

"That..." she breathed, gazing at the girl with flames reflecting in her eyes, "is what I think when I look at you."

A lazy grin formed on August's puffy lips as she stared at up at the woman who hovered over her. She reached up, tangling her hands in her black hair that felt like heaven to touch for the first time, and pulled the woman back down to her, reattaching to her lips. She loved their thickness, their softness, and the way they ate her own up like they were starving.

Willow enjoyed the feeling of the girl's hands roaming through her thick head of hair, but what she enjoyed even more was the feeling of the girl's crop top accidentally getting pushed further up her abdomen. Willow let her fingers slowly slide under the stretchy fabric of the girl's shirt until her fingertips brushed against the grey lace bra she had seen the girl in hours before. She ached to slip her fingers further underneath the bra, but she refrained, deciding she wouldn't do that until August told her she could. This is was a new feeling for the woman who usually just had her way with women as she pleased, always up to take every piece of the cake she was offered; there was something that felt wrong about just grabbing the girl's sensitive parts without first asking. She had a respect for her, even though she was literally knee-deep between her legs.

So instead she slipped her tongue between the girl's closed lips, letting out a low grunt when the girl parted her lips and allowed her thick tongue to slide in. Her tongue explored every part of her mouth, taking in her taste. It drove Willow to the point of madness as her thoughts wandered to how the girl would taste in her more southern region.

August let out a low moan as she felt her tongue wrestle with hers. She wanted the woman. She wanted her so bad that the throb between her legs was nearly painful. So she wrapped her one free leg up around the woman's hips and pulled her closer to her, causing her knee to ride further up between her legs, inciting another soft moan from the girl as she finally felt some pressure through her jeans.

Willow's eyes felt swollen from how hot they were, her entire face flushed with lust as she felt the vibrations of the girl moan into her mouth as she viciously deplored her own. And when the girl wrapped her leg around her hips and pulling their lower bodies closer together, Willow could feel every nerve in her body melt. She moved her lips away from the girl's lips finally, trailing them down her soft jaw and to her throat. Her face nuzzled against the warm flesh of August's neck, Willow breathed in, getting drunk off her French vanilla scent.

She let her lips brush against her skin as she remembered the night that felt like so long ago when she had cornered the girl in her dorm and pressed a knife against her throat. She remembered being so interested in the way the girl's soft, vulnerable neck dented in at the pressure of the blade. She remembered being able to see a few of the girl's veins running beneath her pale skin. She let her teeth sink into the girl's neck as she remembered that moment, but she suddenly felt a negativity grab hold of the wave of lust she was surfing on. A pang of guilt hit her in her chest as she remembered how she had been so close to slitting the girl's throat, just one wrong move away from slaughtering her. The guilt began to crawl up her throat, causing her teeth to sink harder into the girl's neck.

August winced at first at the pressure, but the pain turned into pure pleasure as she felt the woman latch onto her neck, one hand on her bare waist and the other one resting underneath her crop top just barely below her bra. Her own hands were in the woman's silky locks of hair and gripping her muscular back. She momentarily thought about her situation—in bed with her legs wrapped around her abductor, actually enjoying their painfully pleasurable proximity.

Willow released her bite on August's neck, replacing it with sloppy kisses and sucking which incited a high-pitched moan from the girl beneath her every time her lips touched her soft spot on her neck. Willow quickly figured out where it was and formed a suction cup with her big lips directly on the spot, causing August to moan again and her grip on the woman's hair tighten. Her hand resting on the middle of the girl's diaphragm could feel her abdomen rise up and down with each of her rapid, shaky breaths. She then noticed she could feel her heartbeat underneath her hand. It was hard and fast, seemingly trying to break away from the girl's lower chest. It was like there was a rabbit caught in her ribcage, thumping his foot against her bones in an attempt to be released from his bodily prison.

The lust Willow was feeling as she felt the girl's warm abdomen against her hand, her lips roaming her soft throat, was unreal. All she wanted to do was rip the girl's clothes off and fuck her until she was screaming. She wanted to taste every single part of her and dig as far deep inside the girl as she could. The desire swelled in her throat and she desperately tried to swallow it down, but she couldn't. She was beginning to lose grip on the lust wrapped tightly around her entire body like a snake constricting around its prey.

She then felt a different emotion creep its way up her throat as if the snake was slithering through her esophagus—guilt. She suddenly felt like she was taking advantage of the girl. She had kidnapped her and was holding her hostage in the hotel room, and she was now delighting in pinning the girl down and breathing her in as hard as she could, as if she deserved to feel her soft, warm body pressed against hers and taste her sweet lips that tasted better than any honey found on or off the planet. She detached her lips from the girl's neck, lifting her head slightly so she could peer down at the innocent girl below her who was barely even legal for them to be doing what they were doing. As much as she wanted to take her, it took everything she had to pull away and jump off the girl like a frightened cat. She quickly turned away, not even able to look at her as she put both hands over her hot face and she tried to ignore the aching desire and suffocating guilt inside of her.

She felt as if her own heart was imploding, shattering the rest of her insides around it. Her biggest fear was that the shards of her shattered bones would end up cutting open the girl if she dared to stand too close to the explosion.