Chapter 1

I didn’t know much about life... that’s what everyone said.

…they were right…

But I was sure that I knew what my purpose was. I was a water nymph and my purpose was to serve nature and water in it. A nature spirit meant to serve and praise my element.

But life... that’s something I was not so sure of. What was I living for? Was it just you being in this universe? Was that called living? If that was it I didn’t want that. How could I live when I was always kept in a cage of obedience? I wanted the danger, the adrenalin, the fear, the hurt, the pain. I wanted to experience everything yet I needed to do what was right for me. What people wanted me to do?

And what was so wrong with that? I didn’t have to think, decide. They told me everything and I just did it. A life in a little box.

Why couldn’t I like it? It would be easier. It would be so simple if it was enough for me. But it didn’t make me happy to live like that.

I was walking through the forest path with my sister. The dark was already deep set in and the chilly wind was brushing my bare skin.

I was trying to cheer her up. This wasn’t a time for her to be her quiet self. She needed to do something to remember. Something exciting. Something out of the ordinary.

″It’s your eighteenth birthday, and all you want to do is go to the forest? ″ I asked Magdalena, walking beside her. “We can do something fun, go to that mountain and explore the cave, go to elderly and talk about the horrors of humans in the city. They believe everything you tell them.″ I chuckled as I spanned around while we walked.

She still didn’t answer me but she did have a faint smile on her lips. “We could sneak out to the human world,” she side eyed me and I knew my ideas did not appeal to her. She was used to living her life calm, easy.

Maybe I shouldn’t lead her on to wrongdoings… but I wanted her to see that there was a different way to live. We didn’t need to obey the rules.

Maybe I just wanted someone else to dream of a life where we could be travelers of the world. Maybe I just longed for someone who would understand.

″ I want to see those lights in the water, ″ she said to me. ″When you were eighteen you saw them too, now I want that, ″ she explained.

When a water nymph turned eighteen in the water she could see a thousand little sparks when she touched it. It was pretty, it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, but the problem was that Magdalena told me that’s all she wanted to do that day. I wanted her to have fun. We could be getting drunk for all I cared. I just wanted to do something that was different from every day.

I wanted her to forget to be careful for one night. Live a little. For her to see the edge.

I was only four years older than Magdalene, but she was the mature one out of us. She was always careful and was trying to keep me out of trouble. She was a little sister looking out for her big sister. It did sometimes bother me. Because I didn’t want anyone to look out for me.

We didn’t even like the same things. She was always well put together and elegant, and I… was not. She was the one who my family would later be proud of and I was just... I was just me. Often my parents didn’t like how I acted, what I did, how I spoke. My mother was always making new rules for me, even if I was already an adult she still acted like I was a child. She said she would only let me live by my own rules when I left that house... the problem was I didn’t know if I ever would.

I didn’t have anywhere to go. And I didn’t have anyone to go to. The only option was to go rogue… but it was too dangerous. Even I knew that outsiders would rip rogues apart. And I couldn’t just leave my family, they were all I got.

We were finally nearing that grand lake where we always went to praise Mother Nature and her water gifts. I started half running to the lake and looked back at Magdalena. She was wearing white flowy dress and white flower crown that rested on her light brown hair that reached her mid back. I had similar hair to her, it was a little darker and a little curlier, the length was the same.

I was also wearing a dress, it was just not as beautiful as hers. Mine was checkered black and brown with short sleeves and a high slit that went up my leg. It was comfortable, easy to move in.

Only downside was that often my legs and arms were all scratched up from falling, dodging into things, but since I was a nymph in the water they healed quite quickly and because I was a werewolf, it didn’t hurt at all and it faded in a day or two.

I didn’t know how Magdalena could hide her excitement. She was walking as graciously as ever, she always was. When it was my birthday. I kept giggling and squeaking like it was the only thing I looked forward to. At that time I wasn’t so miserable. Then I was still waiting for my mate to show up any minute. Only by time I realized he wouldn’t come and that’s when my excitement from life started to slowly disappear.

″Go ahead! The water is waiting for you.″ I said to her. These lights looked extremely beautiful in the night, that’s why she waited till it got dark. She stayed inside the house all day just to make this very moment special. The only moment like this in a nymph’s life.

I stood next to one of the trees and leaned against it, hugging it with my arms as my head rested against it. I watched as Magdalena walked inside the water with her dress getting soaked in the soft water. The whole lake lit up in a thousand little twinkling stars. The light from the stars illuminated her every feature. She looked gorgeous in this light, it made me think if anyone ever looked at me and thought that I was that pretty. I always knew Magdalena was prettier than me, everyone always talked about how beautiful she was, and all they said about me was how interesting I was. It would be a compliment if they hadn’t said it in times when I did something the pack or my family didn’t approve of. I wasn’t much liked in the pack… that made me ‘interesting’.

Magdalena was only deep enough so her knees were covered in water. She closed her eyes and I could tell she was speaking to Mother Nature. I was too far away to hear her. But this was her moment. She needed to spend it however she wanted to.

I heard someone approaching from behind me. I looked back and it was Adrian. He had been my only and truest friend my whole life. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. He was the one of the few people who actually understood me and to whom I could talk normally

“ What are you doing here? ″ I asked and walked closer to him. I playfully pushed him to the side but he didn’t move. ″You werewolves never learn, do you? You can’t just spy on nymphs. You know it’s kind of special for nymphs to talk to Mother Nature. It’s not very nice,″ I said with pouty lips.

″You are a werewolf yourself, ″ he spat at me jokingly and pinched my cheek but I instantly slapped his hand away.

“should I remind that you are not immortal?” I asked.

He laughed out loud throwing his head back. “You don’t scare me missy,” he said and tried again to pinch me. I moved away just before he got the chance and turned my head to look at Magdalena. She looked a little confused. She was going out of the water holding her soaked dress in her hands. Something happened…

″Anyways. As much I don’t mind you. I think you should go because Magdalena won’t be so understanding, ″ I said to him but he didn’t seem to hear me at all. I looked over. He was watching the lake. “Adrian?” I asked. He looked unwell. Also… confused?

I looked in the direction his eyes were and it wasn’t the lake he was watching. Magdalena was the one he was gazing at and she was watching him with just as much intrigue. They were both frozen in time, I looked from one to another. Adrian mumbled something under his breath and started walking towards her.

Usually nymphs wouldn’t want to be disturbed in these kinds of situations but I was sure that Magdalena also didn’t want to continue her ritual.

It was only when I saw that Magdalena herself started walking towards him when I understood what was happening. It was Magdalena’s eighteenth birthday. Most werewolves found their mates on their eighteenth birthday. If not then, they have found their mates by nineteen.

They were mates... I couldn’t stay there any longer. If finding your mate was as wonderful as everyone told you, this wasn’t a place for viewers.

It was quite funny to think that we were such good friends our whole life and now it would all be ripped away. I might be careless and dumb at most times, but I did understand that nothing between us would ever be the same.

And I was so dumb thinking that maybe... maybe if he didn’t find his mate we could stay together. Just the thought of it now made me sick. How could I think like that about my sister’s mate? I was a fool for even thinking that someone could be as miserable as me. Adrian was mateless for a long time, but now it was clear he was just waiting for her eighteen.

I was twenty two, soon turning twenty three. Adrian was the same age as me. It’s really not likely to get a mate when you were after twenty. They said if you don’t find a mate after twenty it would most likely never happen. The only thing that feared me was that I would actually be that unfortunate. Each year it made me a little less hopeful. I didn’t know why I was still holding on to any kind of hope… nothing was changing.

My whole life I have been taught that mate was the one person meant just for you, he was meant to love you, protect you. He was the only one who could make you feel the love. He was like a best friend to you but more. One person in the world who knew you. He made you better by inspiring. And you knew that mate will always be with you no matter how stupid or crazy you are. He was meant to be with you when no one else was.

It was sad to think that I might never have that. I had attended countless mating ceremonies where unmated wolves went to find their other half. Not once I found anyone who made me feel like he could be my other half. Not once I felt the spark everyone is talking about, the pull of the mate.

Maybe... just maybe if I was more like my sister I would be worthy of a mate. If I was just as gracious and pretty as she was.

I walked upon the packs village. It was already too late to be staying out late, the guards were starting to look suspicious. They knew about our nymph needs and I, Magdalena and our mother Melisa were the only ones who were allowed to walk out at late hours. Even our father Bernard was not allowed to go out with us.

I walked inside our small two story house and mom was sitting next to dad, under his arm in the living room with only light from the fireplace.

The sound of the closing door must have woken her up. She smiled at me and stood up. ″Back already? ″ She slowly walked up to me and started picking something out of my hair. ″Why is your hair dirty? Were you sleeping on the ground? ″ She asked but I didn’t answer, it was from the tree that I was leaning against.

She looked around her. ″Where is Magdalena? ″ She asked.

I looked down on my feet and then back at her. ″She found her mate.″ I said to her and she put her hands on her heart and looked at dad. ″Bernard do you hear this? ″ She asked but he was already at his feet.

He was smiling like crazy, his eyes were glowing. ″wonderful news! Who is it? ″ He asked, looking at me.

Right now it seemed like I was the only one who wasn’t happy.

I was happy about Magdalena and Adrian. I just felt the guilt that I couldn’t give this joy to my parents. I looked down. ″I think it’s better if she tells herself. I don’t think she will be out for long, ″ I said in a quiet voice. ″I’ll go to bed now. I’m tired,” I said and gave them one last smile but I didn’t think I could fool them. They understood me. I knew they did. They also didn’t know how to comfort me.

How could they? What could they say? That mates after all were not that important? They couldn’t say that when all my life they have said that it’s the most wonderful thing in the world.

It wasn’t long after I heard Magdalena return, instantly I heard them all chatting through my bedroom’s closed doors.

I walked out of my room and remained at the top of the staircase and sat down on the floor next to railings where they wouldn’t be able to see me.

″Oh, he is so wonderful! He is kind, smart and funny, ″ she said in full excitement. I had never seen her glowing like this. She was never this jumpy. I have tried many times to get her excited, do something new, something to get her rush. I could never do that. Her mate could.

″It’s Adrian, Jonathan’s son,″ she spoke of him like he was the sun to her. She was truly happy now.

″He’s a good kid, I am happy for you darling,″ dad said and kissed her forehead. They all hugged, they were all so happy.

Magdalena didn’t talk much about mates before. She saw how much it broke me when I couldn’t find my mate and she didn’t want to get her hopes up. She thought that maybe she would be the same as me, that maybe we both were unfortunate werewolves without mates. She was wrong. She will be happy with her mate while I will remain here, or maybe I will marry some werewolf who has already lost his mate. Someone who was just as unfortunate as me.

″Did Meredith return? ″ she asked quietly.

″Yes, ″ mother said, looking down. ″ She looked sad, I know she is happy for you. She loves you. But understand that she is also hurting.″ she said half crying from the joy. Magdalena nodded approvingly. Her face squelched up in sweet pity for me

“If I had known it was a possibility I would have never filled her head with all these things about mates.” Mom’s joy was replaced with pity and guilt.

I felt tears in my eyes rise, why was I so unfortunate? I too wanted a wonderful mate. I wanted to make my parents proud. I couldn’t stand to stay and listen so I went back to my room where the darkness swept me off my feet and I could spend the night in the warm hands of the only person I had. myself…