Chapter 34

The late evening finally came, the day until now was stretching out in time. My mind was busy with impatience and guilt. Any normal day this would be the time I came back from the lake but I was waiting for Death to make my run with him.

I was pacing around my living room when I heard footsteps behind me. I looked over and Death was watching me. “Ready?” he simply asked. I nodded my head at him. “Meredith… are you sure?” he asked again and I didn’t need to think about it.

“Yes.” I answered with my heart pounding in my chest. Not wasting much time I walked out the door with Death following close behind. I picked the door key up with my fingers shaking like crazy. I dropped it on the ground and didn’t even try to get it. There was no purpose for me locking the door.

“Maybe I should have taken some things?” I asked.

“You can’t.” Death said. I nodded sniffling. I hadn’t realized I was crying.

We headed for the forest at a quick pace but my name was called from behind me. And I recognized that voice and would anywhere.

“Meredith....” Xavier said and I froze in my spot, I noticed Death staring behind me, he didn’t say anything. I clenched my eyes shut.

I turned around and saw Xavier’s look of hurt. I couldn’t help but cry, he knew I never went out this late, he knew that I was always home by this time of the night.

“You’re actually leaving?” he asked with his voice breaking. I didn’t need to answer because my tears told everything. I walked up to him and hugged him tightly, he returned my hug holding me close.

“I’m sorry,” I said, holding him in my hug in a voice raspy from crying. “I want to do this, I know I need this.” I broke the hug and held his hands in mine. “You can’t mention a soul about meeting me here… let them wonder where I am, let them think the worst, even Magdalena… don’t mention this. Please.” I pleaded him and he nodded.

“Ok,” he answered confidently even through gritted teeth, he shifted his stare from my eyes and to everywhere else but me. “Will I ever see you again?” he asked.

My lip curled downwards and he nodded again. “You were the one who found me when my heart was broken, you were the one who eased my loneliness. You were my home Xavier. I will always love you with all my heart and soul.” I said to him and I knew that he knew what kind of love I was talking about. The love that understands and cares.

He kissed my hands and a tear fell on my hand. “Soul mates don’t always have to be romantic love.” he said in a whisper. “You are my soul mate Meredith. My dearest friend in my heart. I love you,” he cried. “I hope that everything works out for you, I hope you are happy wherever you end up.” he said.

“I know I will be happy. And I hate that me being happy means I need to leave you,” I said.

“Don’t hate that,” he said, chuckling. “Happiness costs greatly. I will know that you are out somewhere and you will know that I am here thinking of you,” he said.

I hugged him once more and broke the hug, making a huge distance between us. “Goodbye Xavier.” I said and walked to where Death was waiting for me. I whipped my tears away and we entered the forest. Death stopped and took me by my hand to stop me beside him.

“Once people find you are missing they will announce to other packs that they are looking for you, they’ll look for a description of you. “ He took a knife out of his pocket. “Your hair…” he said in a whisper.

I liked my hair, I didn’t want them gone… it’s just hair… it grows back. I nodded at him and turned my back to him. He took my hair in his hold and cut it off. He let go of my hair and I was ready for my face to be hit with my long locks but it didn’t come. I reached my hands up and I was left with a short bob just above my shoulders. I looked at Death and he put the huge hair chunk and knife in his pocket. He couldn’t just leave my hair laying anywhere, it would draw attention. “where are we going?” I asked him when I had stradied my emotions.

“Somewhere far away… it’s safer if we go by the human world on the border of the forest. I got some clothes in which you will blend in more. You will take a train from the city. The drive will be for about six hours. I will be with you the whole time,” he explained and we started walking to the border.

“I’ve never been to a human city,” I said.

“It’s not as bad as you might think, they are the same as people in your pack except they are not werewolves, they don’t know about werewolves.” he explained.

“I’ve heard stories about werewolf’s living in the human world. Won’t they rat me out? If I walk up to werewolf he will smell I am werewolf.” I pointed out.

“It’s not likely for many werewolves to live outside the pack, but if they are, that means they are frauds and I don’t think they will say anything. We just have to hope that no werewolf is in our way,” he said and he was deep in his thoughts. I took him by his hand and he instantly wrapped his fingers around mine.

Since he came after me he had not kissed me. I was hoping he would greet me like that. He didn’t… just took me by my hand and led me out.

I was all alone with him. He was the only person I had with me. All the rest were strangers.

On the way I started to feel a little unwell but didn’t want to alarm Death. Felt something making me jumpy, unsteady. Probably my nerves acting up. Or the full moon making me more energetic than usual. “Can we stop at the lake?” I asked.

“There is one closer to the border. I will bring your clothes while you do your ritual.” he told me. But I didn’t need to do my ritual. I just needed to be myself for a moment.

We walked up to a mystical looking clearing. Death left me there immediately.

It was quite like a grave. I went into the water with only my ankles touching the water. It was warm, cozy.

I took in deep breaths and washed my cried over face in the warm liquid.

I paced around the edge and knew this night would be harder to focus. It was a full moon. I turned myself around. I was getting a little too warm for my liking. I cleared my throat.

I felt like my bones needed to be stretched out. I didn’t know why this moon made me feel different.

Maybe I was under the moonlight for too long. Maybe my emotions were getting the best of me.

The water was becoming too warm. My heartbeat was increasing rapidly. And after moments all kinds of tingles washed over my body.

I shook my head. This couldn’t be…

This wasn’t the right time. This was the worst time. I was going into heat… usually the heats stopped when mates mated. I was with Death yesterday. We weren’t mates… werewolves went into heat when they found their mate on the first full moon. Death wasn’t my mate.

I didn’t sweat but felt my insides burning. I pulled my hair. This was entirely the wrong time.

I noticed that Death was approaching. I got out of the water and walked forward to take my new clothes. “Thank you.” I told him and took the bag to see some pants, sweater and sneakers.

I was with my back towards him. I clumsily tried to undo my dress. But the zipper on my back was stuck. Death quickly went over to help but right as his fingers brushed me I knew it would make me go crazy.

I instantly stormed off of him. “Meredith…” he spoke slowly. I knew I freaked him out. As if his touch hurt me… but it was the complete opposite.

“Everything’s fine. Just let me calm down!” I snapped. I took in long breaths looking away from him.

“What happened?” he asked worriedly.

I raised my head up to the sky breathing heavily. I turned around and he carefully examined me. “Are you unwell?” he asked, trying to get near me.

I shook my head. “I don’t know why it’s happening. You are not my mate. I shouldn’t be feeling like this at the first full moon. It only happens if its mate bonds. And only if they have not been mated… “ I tangled my hands in my hair. Forcing myself to steady but it hurt me.

”I’ll be fine. I just need a little time.”

I looked over at him and realized how my words flew right over his mind. He wasn’t a werewolf, he didn’t know. “I’m in heat…” I said and his lips slightly fell open and my cheek reddened confessing it. “It will be fine, I just need a while.”

“Do you not want me to… help you?” he asked me.

“We are in the middle of the woods…” I told him maybe too harshly.

“I don’t need a soft bed to ease your needs.”

What does one answer to that? I was physically burning up. There was only one thing that could ease me up but I was still in my right mind. We were in the middle of the woods.

“My needs?!” I spitefully laughed out loud. “as if I’m some charity case to you?” It was frustrating to stand there.

I angrily picked up the clothes from the ground and went a little away. I took another try to undo my dress. “Do you want my help?” he asked.

“No!” I snapped at him.

I finally got the chance to open my dress and I let it drop down. I didn’t really care if Death saw me. I was only in my panties. I bent down to pick up the sweater but as I went up I was harshly turned around.

An instant shock of relief went through my bones when Death’s hands were touching my skin. I tried to break away from his hold. He tightly held my wrist in his hold. My top half was completely naked in front of him.

“You are a werewolf right?” he asked me.

I didn’t answer, yet I kept struggling to break away. “Werewolves go into heat sometimes. It’s normal…”

“You are not a werewolf right?” I mimicked his question. “You don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?” I saw how impatient he was getting. Yet he was still holding his hands on my wrists and his eyes on mine, despite my poor clothing.

“That I suddenly need to relieve myself at a random spot at the most inconvenient time! It shouldn’t have happened to me. It only happens with mates.”

“Do you not want me?” He asked me. I didn’t answer him but I kept watching how his face was paling. “I was under the impression that you liked… yesterday.”

Now my face reddened. How could I not like it? But it was still too foreign for me. This new language for us. I didn’t know how to speak like that.

“Who do you think I am to pressure you into that?” I was offended. “That you have to be obligated to do something. How romantic.” I harshly added.

“I might not go into heat but you hold me up too saintly to think that that would be obligatory for me. I have not been able to forget or to ease from last night. If I could have I would have stayed with you in that bed forever and done the most unholy things to you. You think that you are pressuring me but I don’t think I will ever get enough of you. I am the one afraid to scare you off when you find out all the things I dream of doing to you.” his voice grew into more of a whisper.

He kept looking at me and my thoughts were messing with my heart. I harshly pulled him into a kiss and his arms grabbed the sides of me making me gasp he backed me up to a tree.

He swiftly took off his coat and dropped it down. He then spun me around so that he was now with his back against the tree. My head fell back as he devoured my neck. I felt hot and in need of him. “Death…I…” I shakily spat out. “I can’t anymore.”

He instantly unbuckled his pants and pulled them down but then he shocked me by pulling me down to the ground. He sat on top of his coat and rested his back against a tree. He made me straddle him. My legs on either sides.

“I…” I couldn’t. I didn’t want to be like that… I wasn’t sure what to do. The day before he was in position controlling me. I didn’t know how.

He smirked at me. “I want you to take control.” he assured me but I was just sitting there in his lap. In want to do more but now knowing what…

Death gently caressed my swollen red cheek. He then pulled me in closer to him. Where I could feel his manhood grow.

He gently guided me until a soft moan filled my mouth. He didn’t move me anymore he waited for me to. I clasped my hands on his shoulders and moved my hips. And I increased my speed. And he was there. Kissing me. Caressing me. Watching me. And teaching me a brand new language.

Thousands of stars around us. Not a single sound but us. I felt heavenly… how only Death could make me feel heaven sent.

After that we kept laying under the moon’s shine. I felt rightly drained. Fixed.

I was now dressed in my new clothes and wrapped in his coat. My head on his heart. And he stroked my hair.

Moments of silence passed, comfortable silence. “Can I ask you something?” I asked Death.

“Of course, until it is not about the afterlife. I won’t ever tell you that no matter how pretty you look at me,” he said with his voice gently swinging in the wind.

“What if it’s about my time?” I asked him and he didn’t answer.

I lifted my head up and watched his face. He just focused his stare towards and clenched his jaw. “You know my time… how long is my life?” I asked him.

“What good will it do to you?” He was a little irritated… he didn’t like this question that meant that there was something not to like in my time.

“I want to know so I don’t waste my time. I don’t think I have a long life if you act this weird,” I stated.

I got up sitting.

He didn’t look at me. “Of course I wouldn’t want to talk about you dying, I don’t want to ever lose you but I am no fool and I know that you will die eventually. And I know just how much it will break me already.” He answered.

“Why don’t’ you want to tell me then?” I asked. “Is it because it’s not long right?” I asked. He turned towards me. He took a deep breath, he didn’t want to tell me. He tried to look in my eyes but couldn’t.

“If fate doesn’t change,” his voice got caught in the air as he was trying to find the right words “… forty three,” he said and only then he looked in my eyes.

“That’s not that bad,” I said to him, forty three more years is not bad at all. But when Death’s expression changed and I knew it wasn’t what he meant.

”I will live till I am forty three....” I asked more like a statement. “I am already in the half of my life?” I questioned, he didn’t answer and he didn’t need to answer. Everything was already said.

I didn’t expect my life to be that short. “I’m sorry” Death said.

“You say that times sometimes change?” I asked.

“When gods are involved or great turns in your fate. Not very likely otherwise.” He told me and I nodded.

Even forever couldn’t be enough time to love Death. I didn’t have much left of my life… but maybe… maybe that’s all I needed…