♦⊱ Chapter 13 - Slight Freedom ⊰♦

This chapter is dedicated to ShyLittleMarshmallow! Happy reading!

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Ruka pov:

Just like it was every day, Kyo chan took care of getting me ready for the day. She helped me put on a beautiful kimono dress, a light blue and white one today, and tied my hair up in a simple hairstyle. A delicate ornament made of precious gems was placed on one side of my head.

A soldier walked in just as I was done getting ready to summon me for breakfast with Kichiro sama. I felt a queasy jitter in my stomach because of what had happened in the morning but calmed myself with reassuring words that there was no real reason for me to be so anxious.

I was escorted to the dining hall in silence. When we entered the hall though, I tensed. Kichiro sama sat at the head of the table waiting for me, dressed in one of the many royal robes he had, his eyes closed and his arms crossed over his broad chest. But seeing him wasn't what made me react so strongly. All the other chairs around the dining table had been removed making it obvious that I was to sit in Kichiro sama's lap as I had done yesterday during lunch.

I swallowed thickly and walked up to him, averting my eyes the minute he looked at me. "Sit," he said almost immediately and I complied without a fuss. Heat rushed to my cheeks from our position as well as memories of sleeping in his arms last night. I didn't shift or squirm as attendants placed food in front of us, a few eyeing me and making me feel even more awkward.

When Kichiro sama leaned forward to reach for his food, a shiver went down my spine at the contact of his chest with my back. He began eating and I too reached out for my food hoping that eating would distract me from his body heat on my back.

Kichiro sama was done with his meal rather quickly but waited patiently for me to finish. He neither told me to eat faster nor ordered me to get up so he could leave first and I could eat at my leisure. What's more, he was acting as if the incident this morning had never happened. He wasn't angry or annoyed and his behavior was as placid as always. I wasn't complaining though because I felt comfortable with this atmosphere. I wouldn't know how to face him if he was still angry.

When I was done with breakfast, Kichiro sama wrapped his arm around my waist as we stood. Flustered again, I blushed and kept my eyes down while I stepped away from him when he let go of me.

"You will no longer have soldiers watching over you and you are free to go anywhere you want to in my palace," he spoke and I met his eyes surprised. I nodded slowly and turned to walk away.

"Um, K-Kichiro sama," I called timidly and he turned to meet my eyes sternly. I fiddled with the hem of my clothes, shifting on my feet, "May I have my treasure back, please?"

We were enveloped by tense silence for a moment before he reached into his sleeve and held my phone out to me. I was once again surprised by his gesture – he had returned my phone without asking me questions or threatening me to not do something foolish with it. I bowed with a word of thanks while taking my phone and he walked away without another word. I kept my eyes on the doors he had walked out of for several minutes, still confused about everything that had happened in the past few minutes before looking at my phone in my hands.

I stepped out of the dining hall and down the hallway, looking around to confirm that Kichiro sama's words were true. No soldiers followed me – I felt like I finally had some privacy.

Just as I was walking down the hallway, I spotted one of the gates of the palace that led to the outside world, the world I had wanted to escape to instead of being locked in here. I felt a chill remembering the punishment I had suffered from my past attempt to escape and it prevented me from stepping within even ten feet of the gate. I shook my head and hurried past there and to a courtyard garden.

I sat down on the grass in the center of the courtyard and opened the back cover of my phone to undock the battery. I placed the battery in the sun and waited for about fifteen minutes before putting it back. I turned on the phone, smiling when it vibrated and greeted me with the landscape wallpaper. I unlocked it and went to the gallery to look through photos first. Seeing photos of my family and friends instantly lightened the weight I had been feeling on my chest off late.

I looked through the photos for a while before I fell onto my back, locking my phone and letting it fall on my stomach. I watched the blue sky and the occasional clouds that floated across. Not particular thoughts came to mind and I didn't want anything to bother me either.

I had given up on wishing I would go home. More than a year and a half had gone by since I came to this time period so there was probably no chance of me going home now. I was stuck in this world and in this palace and I had accepted it. This was my life now and there was no reason to mope about the past.

I took a deep inhale of the fresh air with my eyes closed. I relaxed my body, enjoying the tranquility in the garden. This was the first time I felt this serene, this comfortable, and I was sure it was because there were no soldiers watching me.

The serenity only increased and soon lulled me into dreamless sleep.

Kichiro pov:

I looked up from the documents I was reading through and out of the window of my study, unable to get Ruka's face out of my mind. I could not stop thinking of how beautiful she had looked when she woke up this morning. There was gentleness in her eyes for a brief moment before it changed to fear upon seeing me. Nonetheless, she looked like a porcelain doll, flawless, delicate, her skin soft and supple, her eyes filled with serenity.

"She is indeed a very rare find, the epitome of perfect that only Your Majesty is worthy of..."

I recalled the words the merchant had spoken about her when he had seen her. I knew he was merely flattering me to remain in my good books but there was enough truth in his words. She truly matched me – while I was powerful in every way and prominent, she was delicate, beautiful, silent and obedient. She was the only one I deemed worthy to stand next to me, to receive my attention, my gifts, to receive any sort of gesture that wouldn't inflict pain.

But perhaps she was too silent. Her imperative obedience was appropriate and she didn't deny or disrespect me in any way. She followed all of my orders without the slightest objection but something was still missing. It was as if I wasn't getting the affection I thought I would receive from her even after the time I had spent with her in the Strolling Garden and after. I still didn't feel important as a person to her or anyone else, I didn't feel genuinely necessary.

Holding Ruka close during meals, holding her hand, and having her sleep next to me did fill the void in me to some extent, did make me feel unexpectedly strange. I didn't know what exactly I felt but I didn't dislike it. I wasn't satisfied though. What I was feeling now wasn't enough. I wanted more. I wanted her to respond, to react positively to my gestures, to smile and look at me as if I was important, as if I was a human too, without thinking that it was an order.

But she never did.

Was I truly nothing more than a beast that people could never see as anything more? The loneliness that I had felt as a child had not left me even for a moment, the darkness I was wrapped up in was never lessened by any sort of light. Not once had I escaped the isolation I had been thrust into...and it seemed it would not change even now.

I ran a hand through my hair, agitated with every foolish person I was surrounded by, including Ruka. She never thought of what she should do most of the time and only timidly followed my orders. The fact that she did what I told her to only because she was afraid of me thoroughly annoyed me at times...yet I kept her by my side, waiting for some change that would probably never happen.

Exhaling deeply, I stood. I decided to take a walk to clear my mind, to ease the relentless frustration I was feeling. I exited my study and an attendant passing by greeted me with a low bow.

"Where is Ruka?" I questioned him sharply and he flinched.

"She headed towards the north gate a little while ago, Your Majesty," he answered, bowing lower.

I narrowed my eyes dangerously. Why had she gone towards the north gate? Surely she wasn't going to escape again, was she?

I walked towards the north gate enraged, ready to kill her if she was trying to escape, however, I spotted her in the Tea Garden a little away from the north gate. She was lying on her back on the grass, her eyes close, her breathing even, and her treasure on her stomach. It was just a few moments later that she stirred and opened her eyes to gaze at the sky above.

She sat up and stretched, eliciting a short hum. She shook her head with a soft laugh, "I can't believe I fell asleep right after breakfast. What do I do now to pass the time?"

She looked around in thought before a smile grazed her lips. She got up and I followed her as she walked to one of the soldiers standing guard in the hallway.

"Excuse me, could you please tell me where the palace's stables are?" she asked.

She was given directions and with a word of thanks, headed towards the stables. She let herself in and I stopped near the door, curious to know why she wanted to come here. She looked around in awe first, smiling wide when she looked over the horses there. I couldn't understand what she found so great about horses that she was smiling so wide. Why was she smiling like she had just received a bag of gold for free?

"M-My Lady!" the stable boy stuttered as he stumbled to where Ruka was. He got on his knees and bowed deeply to her while I resisted a scoff at how pathetic the boy seemed.

Ruke took a step back uncomfortably and said, "Ah, please stand up. You don't have to be so formal with me – I'm not royalty. Besides, you're making me feel awkward."

Her words surprised me. Most people would be pleased to have others throw themselves at their feet out of fear and respect. They would be proud of their dominance and authority. But Ruka was...uncomfortable. She was a rather strange person.

"I-I'm sorry I didn't see you come in, My Lady," the boy said while standing up. He remained slightly hunched though, fear etched onto his face in worry of what Ruka would say.

"That's alright. I didn't expect anyone to be here, actually," she responded, smiling. "I just came to see the horses – I really admire them."

I clenched my fist once again becoming aware of the fact that she had never smiled at me, not once since I had brought her here.

The stable boy followed Ruka as she walked through the stables, caressing the horses she passed by. She was affectionate to the horses and they responded to her touches with nudges and neighs while the stable boy watched her uneasily.

"Where is Kichiro sama's horse?" she asked suddenly, facing the boy.

"My Lady? Kichiro sama?" he responded, confused.

"The emperor's horse, I mean," she clarified.

"Is that how you address His Majesty, Lord Kurai?"

I crossed my arms over my chest and narrowed my eyes at Ruka, curious to know her answer. I was satisfied that she was using my name as I had told her to even when not in my presence – she wasn't using that wretched title of mine behind my back even though she was afraid of me and probably detested me.

"Yes, that is what he said I should address him as. Besides, I like his name better than the rather harsh title he has gained," she answered, petting one of the horses again.

The constriction in my chest returned and I clenched my fists, in turn grabbing the fabric of my sleeve harshly enough to create tense wrinkles. I didn't like this feeling yet it seemed to happen often off late when I was with Ruka.

"I-I see. His horse is this way, My Lady." The stable boy led her to my horse, a black stallion towering over her. She didn't seem the least intimidated by the beast though. Instead, she looked over him as if she was fascinated by him.

"He's beautiful," she said airily and stepped to him.

She didn't hesitate to place her hand on his snout. He snorted in response and shuffled, stomping his front feet into the ground restlessly. The stable boy flinched and shifted closer to my horse to calm him if he got too agitated but Ruka only laughed softly and caressed him again.

My horse had been trained to obey no one but me and allow no one but me or the stable boy to attend to him, let alone touch him. It was intriguing that my horse didn't hesitate to allow Ruka to be close to him – he even pushed his snout into her hand, accepting her completely. I noticed the stable boy watch her with wide eyes while she embraced my horse around the neck and ruffle his mane.

"What's his name?" she asked whilst pulled away.

"Um, we don't name the horses, My Lady," came the response.

"You don't? Why not?" Ruka asked, looking at the stable boy in curiosity. I wasn't surprised by her question – she was a peasant living in a small village before so childish and useless customs were sure to have been a part of her life.

"Well..." the boy hesitated.

Ruka looked back at my horse with a smile, "I think it's nice to name the animals you care for – it instils a stronger bond with them. I had a pet dog named Sparks, taking account his bright eyes and active and fun personality."

"His Majesty doesn't really like naming the horses..." the boy added. He was right, it was unnecessary and nonsensical.

"That's too bad. I want to name him though so I guess this will be our little secret," Ruka said, her smile widening as she brought a finger to her lips as if hushing the stable boy to remain silent. She looked back at my horse and caressed him from his forehead till his snout, "So, what should I name you? Hmm...how about Onyx?"

My horse neighed, shaking his head while I frowned, irked that she was naming my horse without my permission and when I clearly didn't like it. Ruka laughed though and pressed her forehead against my horse, "I think Onyx is the perfect name for you."

"Onyx? What does that mean, My Lady?" asked the stable boy.

"Onyx is actually the name of a black stone and I think it fists this horse perfectly."

Black stone? No, she meant darkness. She had named the horse after a black stone, after darkness because it was what she saw me as. What was I expecting from someone who feared and loathed me?

"The stone itself symbolizes inner strength, focused attention, willpower, self-mastery, discipline, and sharp reasoning," she continued, piquing my interest strongly. "It's something that represents the characteristics of a great ruler and a horse is one of the most essential requirements in battle. I know Kichiro sama is scary, stern and forceful, but-"

She didn't continue speaking, she paused seeming lost in deep thought and my chest felt tight again. She had thought of a name for my horse that had such an intense meaning behind it. It had not even the slightest inclination towards the meaning I had assumed it would have.

"Anyway," she said, returning to the present, "it's the perfect name, isn't it?"

"It is, My Lady. I really like the name too."

"I'm glad. Well, I should be heading back to my room now. Thank you for showing me Kichiro sama's horse." With a word of goodbye to the stable boy, she left the stables.

I remained where I was, watching her as she walked back to her room for a few minutes before I retired to my study again. Her unexpected change in demeanor had left me confounded, my thoughts chaotic. When I was in my study, I walked to the window to gaze into the distance, not focusing on anything in particular.

I didn't move from the window for several minutes. My mind replaying the words she had said.

"The stone itself symbolizes inner strength, focused attention, willpower, self-mastery, discipline, and sharp reasoning. It's something that represents the characteristics of a great ruler and a horse is one of the most essential requirements in battle. I know Kichiro sama is scary, stern and forceful, but-"

What was she thinking of saying after that? Why didn't she complete her sentence? Why was I suddenly so curious and hopeful?

"Damn it," I hissed, hitting the window frame with my fist.

I felt restless, rattled, immensely unsettled now. What was happening to me? Why was every one of Ruka's actions beginning to affect me so? What was wrong with me?

I moved away from the window and took a seat at my desk. I shut my eyes for a moment to clear my thoughts for now. Pushing the distractions away, I opened my eyes and settled into finishing more important matters at hand.

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Well well well! There seems to be something going on in Ruka's mind too, something positive perhaps. She named Kichiro sama's horse after a stone that holds such a strong meaning and is thoroughly apt for the aid of an emperor. Kichiro sama too is getting his hopes up but let's hope that this isn't the calm before a storm ^^'

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