CH 20

During the rain, Qu Yiheng stood on the balcony smoking, holding the last cigarette in the house, which was bought by Dou Yucong.

It was already 8 o’clock, and Dou Yucong hadn’t arrived home yet. He had refused Yao Zhan’s invitation tonight just for Dou Yucong.

Of course, he thought it was good to refuse occasionally. The two of them had been too close these days, like a fire burning a little too much. It was time to cool down.

The rain was heavy, but the temperature was not low. He looked outside and saw Dou Yucong’s car parked downstairs.

When Dou Yucong came in, Qu Yiheng had already extinguished the cigarette and started cooking for him. Dou Yucong changed his shoes and grumbled as he entered the house to change clothes.

“It keeps raining!” Dou Yucong took a towel and wiped his hair. “I got soaking wet in just a few steps from the parking lot to the entrance.”

“Who told you not to leave an umbrella in the car?” Qu Yiheng said to him, “We’re going to have dinner later, so hurry up and clean up.”

“There was one.” Dou Yucong muttered and stopped talking.

He went into the kitchen and sat at the dining table, asking his brother, “Are you ready to confess? Our family can be lenient if you’re honest.”

Qu Yiheng smiled and said, “What if I’m not honest? Will you be strict with me? How strict can you be?”

“That’s not really possible, at most I’ll lose a few days of sleep.” Dou Yucong said, “I really find it strange that my little radar for identifying the same kind of people works so well, why did it break down when it comes to you?”

Speaking of which, Qu Yiheng also found it interesting.

Yao Zhan and Dou Yucong could tell that they were both gay after meeting once, but he, after all these years, Dou Yucong never felt it. What did that mean? Was his gayness not obvious?

“Actually, there’s really nothing between me and him,” Qu Yiheng poured the food into plates and went to serve rice to Dou Yucong. “We had an okay relationship when we were in school, but we lost touch in recent years. I happened to meet him at a classmate’s funeral a while ago, so we contacted each other.”

He said it lightly, not mentioning the main point, but Dou Yucong wasn’t easily fooled either. The aura when these two people met, even the slowest person could tell that something was fishy.

“Does he like you, or do you like him?” Dou Yucong asked. “Or are you two in a complicated relationship? Mutual secret crush?”

“Really, there’s nothing like that,” Qu Yiheng laughed, “It’s just ……”

He hesitated to say it, always feeling a bit ashamed.

“Have you two slept together?”

In the gay community, people always gossip about how messy and chaotic their lives are, how their relationships are complicated.

Dou Yucong had many friends who were a bit promiscuous, not exactly reckless, but at least not as disciplined.

But then again, the adults are willing to have a relationship and who’s in the way?

Over the years, he had a partner, and he was faithful. He always believed that if he had a partner, he must be self-disciplined. It was a sign of respect for the other person. Therefore, for many years, his partner was his only sexual partner.

He looked down on cheaters, but people without partners had every right to sleep with others.

He felt he could understand and accept it.

Qu Yiheng remained silent after hearing his direct question.

His silence made Dou Yucong naturally understand. “So, you did sleep with him.”

Dou Yucong picked up his bowl and took a bite. “Your cooking skills have improved.”

Qu Yiheng raised his eyes to look at him and said nothing.

“Do you think you understand him?” Dou Yucong asked.

“I don’t need to understand him,” Qu Yiheng said. “Our relationship ends here. It won’t continue.”

Dou Yucheng laughed: “You’re silly.”

“No,” he corrected himself, “naive.”

Qu Yiheng looked at him puzzled, and Dou Yucong said, “Should I say that onlookers have a clearer view? At least I feel like he’s interested in you.”

“You’re overthinking it,” Qu Yiheng said. “Besides, he’s leaving in a couple of days, and we won’t have much contact.”

Dou Yucong looked at him, his mouth full of food. “Then cherish these few days. Long-distance relationships are not easy.”

“…I already said it won’t happen,” Qu Yiheng stopped chatting with him and got up to return to his room.

At the dining table, Dou Yucong thought about what his brother said and came to a conclusion: these two are in a pseudo-romantic relationship under the guise of being friends with benefits.

Yao Zhan found himself ridiculous. He was already an adult, yet he managed to wake up with a stiff neck and couldn’t even move his head.

He sent a message to Qu Yiheng: ‘I woke up with a stiff neck.’

At that time, Qu Yiheng was getting ready, and when he saw the message, he almost choked on his toothpaste from laughing.

He rushed to rinse his mouth, then replied to Yao Zhan: ‘Can’t move?’

Yao Zhan: ‘Um’

That one “um” sounded quite pitiful.

Qu Yiheng laughed and sent him: ‘Slowly move around. You’ll be fine by the afternoon.

Yao Zhan rubbed his neck and felt unlucky. If he didn’t recover in the afternoon, would he still be able to have some fun with Qu Yiheng in bed at night?

Only one and a half days of training courses remained. Yao Zhan tidied up his notes, feeling confident that he could go back and report without any issues. The only thing he worried about was whether he and Qu Yiheng would lose contact again once he returned.

He could sense that Qu Yiheng was the type who wouldn’t initiate contact unless you reached out to him. Over time, the relationship would fade away. Yao Zhan didn’t want that to happen, but he also couldn’t fully understand Qu Yiheng’s intentions.

After all, it was a long-distance situation, and it was costly for a person in their thirties to move to another city.

He wasn’t even willing to give up his own job to come here, so why should he demand that someone else give up their life to go there?

Adults who always calculated the pros and cons were prone to withdrawing when it came to relationships that had an uncertain future.

He was troubled.

Yao Zhan understood that if he had met Qu Yiheng in his twenties, even if Qu Yiheng didn’t like him, he would dare to pursue him. But now, things were different. There were too many factors to consider.

After class, Qu Yiheng was waiting outside as usual. Both of them had their own thoughts, and they didn’t eat but went straight to have some drinks before returning to the hotel.

Originally, Yao Zhan planned not to do anything these two days. He had caused enough trouble for the other person in the past few days, so he wanted to let them recover and have a satisfying encounter before he left.

However, he couldn’t control himself when he saw Qu Yiheng.

In the past when someone said that men are animals that think with their lower bodies he would be unhappy, but now it seems that people are right.

That part “below” didn’t listen to the control of the part “above.” Whenever he saw someone he liked, it would cheer and shout, wishing to charge forward and make the other person cry and beg for mercy.

Yao Zhan used to believe that for humans, sex and love could be completely separate. Sleeping with someone didn’t necessarily mean he loved them. But now he realized another problem: it’s only when you fall in love with someone that you have an overwhelming desire to possess them, and not just once.

He still brought Qu Yiheng to bed, and after they were done, he looked at the uncomfortable expression on Qu Yiheng’s face and felt guilty again

He hugged Qu Yiheng and asked, “Does it hurt?”

Yes, it did.

Qu Yiheng felt that he might be struggling to walk, but he didn’t say so, he still smiled bravely and looked at Yao Zhan: “It’s fine.”

Yao Zhan saw through his words and felt even more like a beast.

“I’m sorry,” he said while stroking Qu Yiheng’s hair. “I held back for too long.

Qu Yiheng laughed. “Just one day, right?”

“It’s been since before I met you.”

Both of them fell silent. Qu Yiheng listened to Yao Zhan’s heartbeat and fell asleep.

Before meeting Qu Yiheng, Yao Zhan had searched high and low but couldn’t find anyone who caught his eye. Finally, when he met Qu Yiheng, he held onto him tightly and didn’t want to let go.

Yao Zhan couldn’t sleep. He didn’t dare to move, fearing that he would wake the person in his arms.

In the middle of the night, he heard the rain again, and the sound was loud, which annoyed him.

The reason he felt annoyed was that he was afraid the noise would wake up the person he didn’t want to disturb.

Originally, Qu Yiheng didn’t plan to stay overnight. Even though Dou Yucong already knew about his relationship with Yao Zhan, staying out the whole night made him feel strange.

But he ended up falling asleep unknowingly, and there was nothing he could do about it.

When he opened his eyes, it was after ten o’clock the next morning. When he moved, it hurt, so he lay in bed for a while, then turned his head and saw the breakfast and note on the bedside table.

Yao Zhan bought breakfast when he left and wrote a note, telling Qu Yiheng that he would finish the class at noon and to contact him once he woke up.

Qu Yiheng looked at the note and Yao Zhan’s handwriting.

The doctor’s writing is not always unrecognizable, he thought, and smiled.

He reached for his phone and suddenly wanted to hear Yao Zhan’s voice. But at that moment, he realized that for so long, they had only been in contact through WeChat and didn’t even have each other’s phone numbers.

Even if he had it, he wouldn’t make the call.

Aside from the fact that Yao Zhan was in class, even if he knew the person had free time, he wouldn’t feel comfortable making the call.

What would he say on the phone? Just say that he wanted to hear his voice?

Qu Yiheng sent a message to Yao Zhan, letting him know that he had woken up. After sending it, he waited for a while until Yao Zhan replied, saying that he would come to find him after class. Then Qu Yiheng went bathroom to take a shower.

After showering, Qu Yiheng sat on the bed and ate breakfast. Suddenly, he felt a sense of disorientation, as if he were a canary being kept at home.

This thought made him laugh at himself.

When Yao Zhan returned, Qu Yiheng was already asleep again. The room had the air conditioning on, and the person in bed was tightly wrapped in the blanket.

Yao Zhan walked over quietly, sat down by the bed, and stared at Qu Yiheng’s sleeping face for a while. By the end of it, he felt silly himself.

He took off his clothes, got on the bed, and embraced the person tightly in his arms, sighing, preparing to take a nap as well.

However, as soon as he closed his eyes, Qu Yiheng woke up.

Qu Yiheng had only been lightly asleep, so he naturally woke up when someone touched him. He asked softly, “Are all the classes over?”

“Yeah,” Yao Zhan replied as he saw Qu Yiheng awake, feeling less afraid now. He hugged him tightly and said, “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

Upon hearing this, Qu Yiheng’s heart tightened. He hadn’t realized until now that he was so unwilling to let Yao Zhan go. It was probably because of the past few days of intimacy that he had actually started to feel reluctant.

He turned over and looked at Yao Zhan: “What time is the flight?”

“Eleven o’clock.”

“Then I’ll come to send you tomorrow.”

Yao Zhan gently said “hmm” and asked him: “Are you still asleep?”

Qu Yiheng shook his head: “Have you not eaten yet?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Then let’s lie down for a while, and go out when you are hungry.”