CH 62.2
Even If It's Not Love
âThatâs enough, Woo-hyun.â
Yoo-hwa blocked Woo-hyunâs words and squeezed the book tightly. The book shook at how much strength she had put in her hands.
âYou also know it. You and I, weâll never forget. Me, your sister, and you, Kim Yi-woon.â
ââ¦â
Yoo-hwa slowly looked up and stared at Woo-hyun.
So, they would have to part ways again one day, and they would have to repeat the moment they had forgotten.
âYou must be feeling a little affectionate because you still have some lingering feelings.â
ââ¦â
âBut this wound will abruptly reopen someday, and you will make the same choice then.â
Like when he said those cruel words and pierced her heart with a cold face.
âThe wound you gave me, I said it was fine⦠I said I could handle it and took it for granted, but I could say that because it was the first time. Not the second time.â
ââ¦â
âI canât do it a second time. Not by any chanceâ¦â
ââ¦â
After she finished speaking, Yoo-hwa bit her lips. The tears that she barely held back were about to burst out. Even though she closed her lips tightly, a sobbing sound leaked from her throat.
She clearly remembered the miracle of her heart flowing into someone, even wondering if something like that was possible. And the emptiness she faced when the miracle ended.
The times when she had to hold onto the shell of her heart because her feelings were flowing out completely. The memories of her crying when she didnât know what to do and tried to hold onto all the slowly fading memories that had lost their sweetness.
⦠You werenât hurting like that, were you?
Yoo-hwaâs crying eyes said so.
âSo donât say what youâre about to say.â
ââ¦â
âDonât do it next time you want to, either.â
ââ¦â
âPlease.â
When Yoo-hwa begged him, Woo-hyun, who seemed like he was holding back everything he wanted to say while Yoo-hwa continued her words, had a blank look on his face.
His focus came and went. Woo-hyunâs lips were moving slightly, and soon closed.
âThis⦠Iâll take it.â
Yoo-hwa turned around, hugging the book and the piece of paper that was on top of the display case. Woo-hyun grabbed her from behind.
âYoo-hwa.â
He called her.
In a tone of voice she was hearing for the first time.
She felt like she had already heard what he wanted to say. Thatâs why she didnât want to hear it. In fact, she felt like she would cross over the line that she had been enduring all this time if she heard it.
âYou said youâd let me go.â
ââ¦â
âSo that I could live a new life. Donât forget that promise. Iâm here because of that promise.â
Yoo-hwa spoke to Woo-hyun expressionless and left the room as if saying she didnât want to have any more conversations. Woo-hyun said something behind her back, but she quickly opened the door and left without asking what it was.
***
Bright light poured in from the window. Receiving the light in its entirety, Yoo-hwa swept the inside of the bowl with a spoon. The smell of savory pine nut porridge grazed the tip of her nose, but the spoon was rarely heard.
She had no appetite after what happened yesterday.
âDo you not like the food?â
The housekeeper, who was watching her from a distance, asked carefully after a long while. Coming to her senses after hearing her voice, Yoo-hwa raised her head.
âWhat? Iâm sorry, but what did you say?â
âI was wondering if you didnât like the food.â
âAh⦠Itâs alright.â
âI was wondering if there was something wrong because you werenât eating.â
The housekeeping lady smiled nicely. No matter how much she saw her, she was too nice for someone hired by Woo-hyun.
âNo. Itâs fine. I guess Iâm just tired because I couldnât sleep well.â
Yoo-hwa smiled awkwardly and raised her spoon. She took one big spoonful and chewed mumblingly. Despite the porridge being warm and soft, it didnât pass her throat and kept going in circles inside her mouth.
Last night, Yoo-hwa read the book âPeople, Loveâ for the first time in a long time. Even though she read it over and over again, she couldnât turn over the last page. She didnât have it in her to check the letter she had written to Woo-hyun with her own eyes. She was afraid that the letters would attack her and drag her into the feelings she had at that time, and fell asleep after wandering meaninglessly through the book like a person who had lost their way.
After forcibly swallowing the porridge, Yoo-hwa glanced at Woo-hyunâs room. She didnât feel his presence anywhere when she woke up in the morning. The bedroom door was locked, there were still no shoes on the shoe rack, and two men were guarding the front of the house.
âHe asked me to tell you something.â
Yoo-hwaâs eyes slowly turned to the housekeeper.
âHe said heâd be away for a few days.â
ââ¦â
âHe also said you should be comfortable in the meantime.â
She spoke politely when addressing Woo-hyun even though he was clearly younger than her. Yoo-hwa nodded, not asking anything more.
âAnd if you need anything, feel free to tell me. Because thatâs my job.â
She added, as if telling her she shouldnât feel any pressure at all.
âYes. Thank you.â
Yoo-hwa smiled politely and continued to eat a little more, but the bowl did not empty much. When she put the spoon down because she felt like she would get an upset stomach if she ate more, the housekeeper, who was doing other things, quickly turned around.
âThank you for the food.â
The housekeeper looked at the leftover food, which was more than half, but didnât nag her to eat more. She had a good impression, but she was quick-witted and knew how to keep the line.